Secrets Thread - Read first post!

[Spidey]

I wonder what you would say or think if I truly dedicated myself to this.

I am afraid to find out.

[noldo]

I feel like a fraud, telling everyone I am stable and doing good (which I often am these days) when I'm breaking down most nights and have vivid imaginations of SI, OD and SU stuff. I feel like I can't tell that anyone because "I am stable and not allowed to be anything else cause it makes the people happy that I'm stable". I didn't have therapy for quite some time now and I really miss it cause I think I might be able to talk about that in there. It's still taking like six weeks or so till I might be allowed to have therapy again. And I feel like I have to be okay and be on my own right now and not relying on the help and support of other people cause I'm not depressed right now.

[Spidey]

You're being tested. You don't know this, but you are. That invite...is your test. If you go, and how you act if you do go...that is your test.

[s0_vErY_sCaReD]

I’m afraid of myself.

I, too, like noldo, feel like a fraud. I feel like I have to be ok. I can’t have/show weakness. If I’m vulnerable, it’s not ok. I have to be stable, because I have to keep people happy and placated.

[s0_vErY_sCaReD]

I want to harm
I have OD thoughts
My SI thoughts are getting stronger
I feel crappy
I feel like I’m just a slob who eats too much and doesn’t exercise enough
I will never get to my goal weight/waistline
I’m so stupid
I can’t do anything right
…

[SorryIAm]

I feel that way a lot, too, Scared. I hope you know how wonder-full and amazing you are, though. You really are.

My secret is that every day I feel like I have brought harm to people by failing to meet my commitments to them.

[desperateforgrace]

I feel like I keep most people at arms' length because if I trusted them more they would reject my true self.

[s0_vErY_sCaReD]

I want to OD on ________________
I feel like SI’ing
I feel fat. (Clinically obese)
I have COVID, and now I can’t hug anybody. And I need all the hugs I can get.
I keep self-sabotaging and mentally beat the crap out of myself when I do so.
I have tools
I want my tiny house in the backyard, and I don’t want to have to wait.
Trying to hang in there, by the skin of my toenails!

[SorryIAm]

I often don't move all day.

[je ne sais pas]

I have been seeing the man who SA me in my room at night. I want to kill myself.

[Kaleb]

I no longer feel safe.

[s0_vErY_sCaReD]

Safe hugs I hope you get to feeling better, all of us,

[SorryIAm]

Sends safety barriers and traffic cones and caution tape, to help everyone feel safer.

I saw a sweet photo of a dog wearing a bright yellow safety vest. The caption read, "Safety dog loves you."

May we all have a safety dog to protect us and stand guard over our hurt places.

Here's my secret...


I still think about my ex.


Sending hope to all,

J

[s0_vErY_sCaReD]

oftentimes I don’t take (all) of my meds. I’m just so sick and tired of all the bleeping pills! I usually only take two of my meds at night. And one or two in the morning.