Why you won't SI

[Lil Elmo]

1. I hate the looks that people give me when they see my scars.

2. It hurts the ones that I trully love sooooo much.

3. Tired of having to buy first aid supplies.

4. Tired of having too hide my scars all of the time

5. Thinking up answers to peoples questions

6. Always worrying that I will get infection or need stitches.

7. I need to learn how to deal with all of the crap from my past and also how to deal with normal day to day stuff.

8. I WANT CONTROL OVER ME AGAIN

9. Tired of always thinking of SI, my tools when I am going to do it etc

10. A tool does not own me

11. Would love to be able to wear my t shirts again

12. Always thinking I am ugly but then I go and carve up my skin. Does not make sense

Wow 12 reasons. I did not think I could come up with so many. Thanks for starting this thread.


Susan

[Surrealgiraffe]

-I don't need any more scars
-It won't make me feel any better tomorrow
-It's summer
-I don't want that guilty feeling
-I have better things to do

[DiamondHeart]

DiamondHeart's reasons not to SI:

1. It hurts my boyfriend when I go to a blade instead of him.
2. YES, THE ITCHING DOES SUCK!
3. Really deep scars ache when it's humid. And it's humid alot in South Texas.
4. I look too good in a bikini to never wear one again.
5. SIing means meds. Meds mean bitch-shrink. *HISS*

that's all i can think of...

~Diamond~

[SecretiveGal]

Because I'm scared of what will happen if I get caught.
Because I'm scared it's going to get worse.
Because I'm tired of being self conscious of having marks.
Because my friends are scared for me.
Because it hurts the people I love.
Because it's not a permanent answer to my problems.
Because I don't want to be dependant on anything.
Because I want the people who love me to be proud of me.
Because I want to show that I can

[Antenna]

Because I don't want to lose control again.
Because I don't want to hurt those who know about it.
Because I want to prove to myself that I am stronger than this.
Because I want to prove that I am a stronger person than I was when I started this.
Because I've hurt long enough and it's time for it to stop.
Because it wasn't my fault for the pain others inflicted. I shouldn't judge myself anymore.
Because my emotions are good things to have. They shouldn't be a source of shame.

[Jaded]

because I've gone 6 weeks without
because I told Bri I wouldn't
because I want to be able to wear short sleeves again
because I can't be bothered cleaning up afterwards
because I don't WANT to go back

[skittles33]

this is a really good idea! i've just made my decision to stop and I came across this post.

*I don't want scars
*I'm tired of hurting myself and others
*I want to be able to put this behind me
*I don't want to feel like I'm leading separate lives
*I'm tired of lying when people ask (I'm not good at it either)
*I want to learn how to deal with things in a more 'normal' way
*I don't want to go to far
*I'm scared of myself for doing it
*I want to be able to tell those that know that I've stopped SI
*I want control over my life again
*I don't want to remember everything I've felt 20 years later

hm...I think there are probably others, but this just made me become stronger towards stopping! yay!

[dramababy2003]

i want to prove to my few friends that i will be alive tomorrow.

i want to see what my future holds

i want to stop thinking i need to be checked into a mental hospital

i need to prove to myself that im better then this and that i need to see a different day.

[Dungeon_Lilly]

I don't want to hurt my bf
I'm sick of long sleeves
I'm tired of making excuses for wearing long sleeves
I want to hurt my friends

[teacher2B]

I don't want any more scars
I don't want to accidentally kill myself
I want to be able to use my voice, rather than my body, to express my emotions (especially to say, "I'm hurting" or "I'm angry.")
I don't want to be afraid of infection (or to get an infection...)
I don't want to have to figure out "answers" (ie. lies) to tell people who ask about my scars
I want to be normal...
I want to deal with normal problems...finding a husband, getting through college, keeping up my relationships with my friends and family...not problems like si and ed

[Broken_Wings]

im tired of lying
i dont want to have to see that look of dissappointment on my parents faces
i dont want to fear that i might one day take my si one step too far.
i want to be able to stop hurting those around me with my problems.

[1337 933k]

ren promised shed stopped. i want to make the same promise.
i make myself sick.
im afraid of mysellf.
im sick of worrying about infections and permanent damage.
i keep having to make it worse and worse, im going to get hurt badly before long.
i hate making excuses for these scares, why i cant swim, why i wont wear shorts.
i hate having to wear long pants when its 120 degrees.
tired of being afraid of someone finding out.
sick of hating myself.
sick of lieing. to others and myself.
i want to be able to get close to someone without worrying that theyl find out and hate me.
i dont want to have to hide such a huge part of myself any more.
i dont want to end up locked in a hospital.
i dont want my parents to find out. i know they will sometime, but when they do i want to be able to say im better.
im tired of worrying about being left alone.
i want to trust myself again.
im want more friends than just blades and pain.
i want to be in controll again.
i dont want my friends worrying about me.
i want to be able to be left alone without hurting myself.
taking anger out on myself wont solve the problem and i cant solve it till i stop blaming myself.
i may deserve the pain, but do they deserve to have to suffer because i do?
im sick of having people thinking im a freak.
il never be able to tell my parents while im doing it, and it seems like theyr the only onse left who dont know.
im running out of room for new scars.


wow thats alot... and yet im still doing it. gods, i suck.

[tomwg]

** because i want the inside to match the outside w/o scars
** i don't want to have to use lame-o excuses to explain my scars
** because i know i can find better ways to deal
** i'm tired of hurting myself for stupid reasons
**because stopping is one of the ultimate challenges for me (and when have i ever backed down from a challenge?) NEVER!
**because being able to stay stopped is the challenge
**i think i can i think i can i think i can i think i can i know i can I KNOW I CAN!!!! :
tomwg

[PoorSlain-Doll]

because im ill
because it scars
because its not just me im hurting
because of the comments
because i force people away because they cant deal with my pain
because im out of controll
because im scared
because i feel weak
because i hate that this SI addiction owns me
because i hate that i have to carry blades around with me all the time
because ive got this body for life
because i want to heal
because i want to cope like normal people
because i dont want to feel isolated any more
because im "psycho"
because im crying now. and it feels so good....

[plantt]

-i want to know that i can
-i want out of skills group
-because if i ever choose to use si to cope... i want to know that it's truly a choice... not simply that i know no other way to deal with things
-i trust t somewhat n he says that giving up si will be a good thing long-term
-i have enough scars n don't need more
-because it hurts t & a
-thinkthinkthink

but part of me still realllllllllly wants to keep it as an option... just in case

[southsider]

-because usually when i want to SI it's b/c i'm reacting to something someone else said/did, and my SI wouldn't affect them in any way.
-because i'm trying to live a life of action, not a life of REaction.
-because i know there are healthier ways of coping.
-because SI doesn't really fix anything or even make the feelings go AWAY.
-because i don't really want scars
-because i'm not good at explaining it to people and then i feel bad when i'm unable to explain it
-because i am in control of my life
-because i CAN and WILL direct my anger outside of me
-because i don't want to explain it to my parents :?
-because i've grown beyond the need to hurt myself

[idgie]

I don't want anymore scares.

I want to get out of this alive.

I don't want to get stuck in a circle of cutting which I can't get out of by myself.

It makes my anxiety worse.

Because many ppl don't want me to hurt myself.

[racewithdeath]

* i dont want to feel insane all the time.

* i dont want to be scared of myself and everything else.

* i want to be able to be around *the* objects and people talking about su/si with out freaking out.

* i want to be there for my friend.

* i dont want to make up excuses anymore.

* the iching does suck.

* im sick of losing control

* i dont want to be lost anymore.

[limestone]

I don't want to have to go to A&E or for anybody to tell me I should
I don't want to add to the ones that are there already - I do want to wear short sleeves sometime....!
hmm, I was hoping to make a bigger list. maybe I'll come back if I think of more.
great thread idea! thanks for making it

[caged bird]

I'm not ready to let myself fall again
I want to get into Med school
I Don't want my life to be full of lies anymore
I want to put it behind me but not have to hide it forever
I most likely don't need anymore scars either
It hurts other people not jst me

Mostly though i just want to beable to study MEd

*k*