Secrets Thread - Read first post!

TheRockingHorse · Post by **TheRockingHorse** » Sat Feb 22, 2014 3:15 am

Tuesday night I remembered something from years ago that I didn't even know that I forgot. It was terrifying, I'm reliving it, and more than anything I want to unremember it, but it doesn't seem to work like that. I'm scared.

lilgost · Post by **lilgost** » Tue Mar 04, 2014 12:26 pm

I feel like the world can see my thoughts, and I am always being judged. I try so hard to be perfect, but I never measure up or even come close. I feel like I am one wrong move away from SI again.

early · Post by **early** » Thu Mar 06, 2014 4:04 am

I want to talk to the people I'm closest to (my wife, my pastor, my one or two friends) about my SI, but I don't know what words to use, I don't trust that they would react in a constructive way, and I know that even though these are the people I'm closest to, they don't think of me as people they're close to, and it would seem like an overshare.

Scatterbrain · Post by **Scatterbrain** » Sun Mar 09, 2014 4:29 am

I think I know how to begin to change my life for the better, but I'm so *fucking* terrified that I sit here day after day and do nothing. At least getting high as well as pain are two things to feel when I'm so busy trying to push the rest of the feelings away and survive the day

Megan

PokemonGeek · Post by **PokemonGeek** » Sun Mar 09, 2014 5:15 am

Sometimes I think that being bulimic might make me more attractive and make guys WANT to talk to me for more than two weeks.

Just Pomegranates · Post by **Just Pomegranates** » Mon Mar 10, 2014 7:43 am

^ A lot of other Bussers have found the PBH section of the forum to be useful for working on things if they've struggling with ED behavior or potential ED behavior.

early · Post by **early** » Tue Apr 08, 2014 2:01 am

I think I might feel just a tiny bit of hope.

TheRockingHorse · Post by **TheRockingHorse** » Tue Apr 08, 2014 10:59 pm

I don't know if I want help for my su feelings, because as badly as I want to be whole and healed, every help that anyone has ever promised has always ended with me here again.

Just Pomegranates · Post by **Just Pomegranates** » Mon Apr 21, 2014 2:44 pm

I just threw out the last half of the (hollow) Easter bunny that my mother got for me because I feel to guilty to eat the rest of it, even if I was just bit by bit, especially after my fashion corset was too small when I tried one on today for the first time in ages.

Licentia Poetica · Post by **Licentia Poetica** » Sat Jun 21, 2014 11:24 am

I've been having a bit of a rough patch, sure, and I know anxiety will be a lifelong battle, but I know I will never again feel as deep in a depression hole as I used to, and I am grateful for my life, the things and people I've loved and the happiness I have felt. But the drugs I have access to for my chronic pain and other shit, well, they make me feel, not high, but... a complete thorough and euphoric sense of "everything is and will be okay", like all possibilities are open to me and there's nothing immediate to worry about. I feel like I deserve to feel this way, because of the eight years I spent in hell, but my life is fast becoming a rollercoaster of drugs and I suppose this is a problem but.... oh for those few hours of freedom.

Kaleb · Post by **Kaleb** » Wed Jun 25, 2014 10:28 am

Kaleb isn't ok ....
Please help me...my god someone help me... I'm losing the plot here... I need help... My head isn't a safe place to be any more... I need help... Please someone... anyone...

Birdie · Post by **Birdie** » Sat Jul 19, 2014 6:45 am

I've quickly fallen depressed again since stopping my medication, but as usual, I'm too proud to admit that.

disastercake · Post by **disastercake** » Tue Jul 22, 2014 1:02 am

I'm having a hard time focusing on my husband's positive qualities, and I see only positives in his best friend.

capricorn · Post by **capricorn** » Mon Sep 01, 2014 11:21 pm

I am really really ashamed of the state of my flat. I feel like if any of my friends or family saw it they would be disgusted at me. I am disgusted at me.

Post by **Spidey** » Wed Sep 03, 2014 12:42 am

I can never tell you this, but I actually had a plan. I had everything set and laid out. It was all ready to go, but it got derailed.

I know it's a good thing.

Neala_Gael · Post by **Neala_Gael** » Wed Sep 03, 2014 4:33 am

I feel like there's no one who will ever understand how I feel..

Post by **mande** » Wed Sep 03, 2014 2:23 pm

I'm tired of being afraid that this will go wrong at every turn. There's no rational reason to believe that it will, but I'm so scared.

circlethebug · Post by **circlethebug** » Thu Sep 11, 2014 5:44 am

i wish i was
someone
somewhere
something
else.

Kaleb · Post by **Kaleb** » Sat Oct 25, 2014 12:13 am

I want a kid ...
My partner already has one that I raise with her ...
But me personally I want a kid that's my own ... Biologically ... I've NEVER wanted this before but now I do ... Really badly

PokemonGeek · Post by **PokemonGeek** » Sat Oct 25, 2014 8:24 pm

My sister's pregnancy is making me pretty depressed....

bus

Secrets Thread - Read first post!

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