the most extreme thing you've ever done (to fix your life)?

tips on how to cope: dealing with your feelings, dealing with the consequences of self-harm in your life. share your ideas and maybe pick up some new skills, too. you don't have to want to stop to learn something new here.

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SaucyJack
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the most extreme thing you've ever done (to fix your life)?

Post by SaucyJack » Tue Jan 10, 2012 7:16 pm

And did it work?

I once quit my promising career, left my great apartment, packed all my stuff in a trailer and drove to a city I'd never been before. It worked for a few years. Now I'm back in the same rut, different place.

I'm just wondering what you guys have tried... changing jobs, changing cities, changing your hair, anything...

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Re: the most extreme thing you've ever done (to fix your life)?

Post by PokemonGeek » Tue Jan 10, 2012 8:28 pm

Quitting college. Yeah it worked because I got better but then I also got my dad who's been nagging me about when I'm going to go back. I plan on returning once I settle in NY!
I will survive
Oh as long as I know how to love
I know I'll stay alive
I've got all my life to live,
I've got all my love to give, and I'll survive
I will survive
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Re: the most extreme thing you've ever done (to fix your life)?

Post by SaucyJack » Thu Jan 12, 2012 12:53 pm

Dropping out of school is a great way to feel free. Going back is a great way to give yourself direction. Sounds like you got 2 life-altering changes for the price of one. Smart :)

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Re: the most extreme thing you've ever done (to fix your life)?

Post by capricorn » Fri Feb 17, 2012 11:20 pm

When I was 16 and going into sixth form [last two years of high school in uk] I changed a lot of things. This was basically when I was clawing myself out of a good 3-4 year long depression.

I told my manipulative/screwed up then-girlfriend/best friend we were no longer going to be friends
I left my friendship group pretty much completely
I cut my hair from waist-length to shoulder length. Fairly soon it would be jaw length and has never been longer since [I'm now 20]
I got a load of new clothes and started wearing things I actually -liked-
I stopped pretending to be straight
I joined a few clubs at school and actually made new friends [big thing as I had had crippling anxiety]

My grandmother also died at this time. Which was not a thing I changed but it had a very large effect on me and I can't separate it out in my mind. I guess that made me think about mortality and priorities ...
For awhile I was very isolated and that at school, because of leaving my group of friends, plus Maggie's death. But isolation had been something I was terrified of and going through it really brought me through the crucible. I changed a lot in that first term of sixth form.
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Re: the most extreme thing you've ever done (to fix your life)?

Post by fell_on_black_days » Mon Feb 27, 2012 12:53 am

Joining the army reserves. Worked for a while too. :moove:

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Re: the most extreme thing you've ever done (to fix your life)?

Post by angelafree » Wed Feb 29, 2012 11:42 pm

stopping being a prostitute and walking the streets, knowing 2 working girls were just murdered there.
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Re: the most extreme thing you've ever done (to fix your life)?

Post by treasure » Tue Mar 13, 2012 1:30 am

I moved states without knowing anyone in the new location. It was to escape my suffocating small town and abusive parents so I had to, it was a plan that got me through high school. Nothing really changed in the new location at first, and I only started si-ing after the move, but it did lead to gradual change towards a better life and I am very glad I did it.
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Re: the most extreme thing you've ever done (to fix your life)?

Post by cariad » Tue Apr 03, 2012 7:05 pm

I moved from an EDIP place into a new town, on my own, with a houseful of new house mates (six of them). i got a full time job. and a social life. I didn't go home for a year.

It ended in an alchol and drug addiction, and some very, very strange friends and terrible experiences.
but I would not be me if it had not have happened. my ED would still be as bad as when I was IP for 9 months. I would probably be dead.

then I came home. fixed some very broken family relationships and went to University to get my degree.

which was so hard. so hard. and I paid for it with my physical health as well as my emptional health. but if I had not clawed my way towards a First in my degree I would not have my finace. We would not have actual real plans for our future. I would not have had the strength to go IP last week when the su urges were to much. If it was not for Uni, for meeting Real Life head on..and for C..I would/would have just give/given up.

Recently I applied and was accepted on to a Masters course.

this scares me more than anything. but it has already changed so much, before it has begun. I have a quiet, flickering faith in my abilities. I have a small slither of pride. I have the wish for things to get better so I can go to it. I am facing adult things like loans and housing and savings.

Even more recently I am planning my wedding.

Again, before it has happened it has changed so much. Another future anchor that keeps me going. Another foothold on the downward slide in my head. I want to be okay, and in one epice for this. The Dress is the only thing that has ever, ever made me regret my scars. That has to be a good thing.

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Re: the most extreme thing you've ever done (to fix your lif

Post by silentdreaming » Tue Jul 10, 2012 11:45 am

Moved out of home when I was 15, was told by a lot of people who had to stick their noses in my business that I was a home wreaker and was homeless for 3 weeks. It was the best thing I ever did to help myself out.

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Re: the most extreme thing you've ever done (to fix your lif

Post by Just Pomegranates » Sun Apr 21, 2013 8:16 am

I think for me personally it was seeking out a therapist/therapy and trying medication myself after not having that avenue to and not wanting to for years beforehand.

Also, changing the music I listened to when I was 17ish changed just about everything about my life. It changed the way I looked, the way I acted/reacted, what my interests were, who my friends were, what my life dreams/goals were.

I'd say that those were both successful changes. :osmile:
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Re: the most extreme thing you've ever done (to fix your lif

Post by pelagic » Sat Apr 27, 2013 6:36 am

I traveled in Europe immediately after graduating high school with a pair of boots, a backpack, and a buddy.
I went on medication.
I signed a lease to move out.
I haven't done very extreme things to truly fix my life.

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Re: the most extreme thing you've ever done (to fix your lif

Post by bearcat » Sat Apr 27, 2013 11:20 am

I really like this thread. You are all really smart, inspiring survivors, you know? :1love:

I got out of my parents house early.
I quit drinking and drugs.
I quit a hurtful social group of people who didn't really like me.
I quit a secure job and went to school, although it broke my heart to leave people who felt like my only family.
I went back to therapy several times, instead of killing myself. Every time I have asked for help it's been pretty monumental.
I dealt with how awful I've been to other people and felt very guilty for a very long time. And then I mostly gave myself the permission to forgive myself- which has been huge.
I realized that it was okay to be analytical and boring to others, and I realized that it was okay if people didn't like me. I figured out when people did and didn't like me, for real (so many people had only been nice to me upon certain conditions, and wanted me to be someone I wasn't)

I think that I am finally developing some kind of attachment to my doctor, after seeing him for the better part of my life. That's an extreme thing for me. I can't really fix my life, but I can live day to day and hope for improvement. Hoping and trying to accomplish anything feels pretty out-there and extreme for me.

I have mostly stopped believing that the terrible things that stupid people said about me are true.

Some days I feel like this part of my life is the bonus part, because I could so easily have been dead instead of living during this time. When I feel that way, I enjoy certain simple things about being a person.
Be diligent, dutiful, and hardworking; be rational, consistent, and trustworthy; be kind, open, and forgiving.


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Re: the most extreme thing you've ever done (to fix your lif

Post by Roxi » Wed Jul 24, 2013 9:08 pm

After a bad break up I lost x kg because I thought it would fix everything and make me happy.

It did not work. You can't solve non-weight related problems with weight-loss.

All it did was make me have to buy new clothes and now the number on the scale is just x kg less than it was before.
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Re: the most extreme thing you've ever done (to fix your lif

Post by StarChild » Mon Dec 09, 2013 1:44 am

I got sober. I'm coming up on 18 months and things have seriously never been better. It was terrifying and difficult, but staying sober one day at a time is a great way for me to live. I'm struggling right now, but as they say, my worst day sober is still better than my best day drunk.

Clean & sober since July 14, 2012.
SI free since January 29, 2016.
Cigarette free since May 12, 2017.

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Re: the most extreme thing you've ever done (to fix your lif

Post by carbonhawker » Tue Dec 24, 2013 7:05 pm

quit my first career and went on to a completely different career - broke up with my girl in the process, moved twice, and now live in a shoebox but I don't regret it.

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Re: the most extreme thing you've ever done (to fix your lif

Post by lilgost » Tue Mar 04, 2014 1:32 pm

Getting divorced and putting myself through school. I have been fairly happy. A lot happier than I was when married, but I have had my share of struggles and mood drops as well.

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Re: the most extreme thing you've ever done (to fix your lif

Post by early » Thu Mar 06, 2014 3:57 am

I dropped out of law school. (God, I am so ashamed to say that)

And I can't really say whether it worked or not. I did it because I was depressed, and I hated it, and I knew I was going to start SIing again if I didn't. That was over three years ago, and I can basically connect my current bout of depression and SI to that same starting point. So maybe it just postponed my problems? Or maybe it helped and I just don't know how much worse it could be.

Depression and SI aside, though, I still hated it, so I'm deeply ashamed, but secretly still glad I did it.
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Re: the most extreme thing you've ever done (to fix your lif

Post by Spidey » Tue Jul 29, 2014 6:39 pm

I moved cross-country.

It did not work.
there is, in the end, the letting go.
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Re: the most extreme thing you've ever done (to fix your lif

Post by herebedragons » Tue Aug 05, 2014 5:10 pm

When I was 16 I ran away from home and moved in with my dad and his new family halfway across country. Brought myself with me and it ended up being a worse situation than I left so it didn't solve much. But it did keep me from killing myself which is what I felt was the only other reasonable option at that point. And had I not moved my life would be totally different. I would almost certainly not have my daughter or have moved here and met and married my husband and had our son. So what seemed like a grave error at one point ended well.
Let me think about the people who I care about the most. And how when they fail or disappoint me, I still love them, I still give them chances, and I still see the best in them. Let me extend that generosity to myself.” — Ze Frank

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Re: the most extreme thing you've ever done (to fix your lif

Post by sweetelisum » Mon Sep 01, 2014 3:24 am

I moved... went to rehab... disowned 99.9% of my friends. no dice.. still screwed up
"Hinged to forgetfulness
like a door,
she slowly closed out of
sight,
and she was the woman I loved,
but too many times she slept like
a mechanical deer in my caresses,
and I ached in the metal silence
of her dreams."
-Richard Brautigan

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