I only feel confident when my hair is an unnatural colour.
Also, I really gosh darn miss you.
Secrets Thread - Read first post!
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zyn
- beyond inspiring
- Posts: 9038
- Joined: Wed Jul 06, 2011 10:04 pm
- Gender: Female
- Location: Scotland
Re: Secrets Thread - Read first post!
"If knew what I thought I wouldn't need to make anything."
"Work is a fight against loneliness, against low self esteem, against depression, and against staying in bed. Sometimes my self esteem is so low that I cannot reach it even when I'm feeling down." - Martin Creed
SI free since 1st January 2012
Last SI: 23rd April 2013
"Work is a fight against loneliness, against low self esteem, against depression, and against staying in bed. Sometimes my self esteem is so low that I cannot reach it even when I'm feeling down." - Martin Creed
Last SI: 23rd April 2013
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Eisa
- driving instructor
- Posts: 5706
- Joined: Tue Jun 03, 2008 2:23 pm
- Gender: Genderfluid
- Location: Virginia
Re: Secrets Thread - Read first post!
I keep feeling like all I deserve is to be abused and hurt, and I don't know how to tell people without making them think I'm some kind of twisted freak. 
We come in pieces. 
"Whoever fights monsters should see to it that in the process, he does not become a monster. And when you look long into the abyss, the abyss also looks into you."~Nietzsche
The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return.
My Place
My PBH
BUS family:
Twin~Beasty
Elf Sib~Sprink
Fairy Mummy~Starry
Younger Sissy~Kate
Big Bruvver~Dan
Half-Sissy~Annabel
Cousin~Peggie
Aunt~Mande
Sprinkled Cupcake~Noldo
"Whoever fights monsters should see to it that in the process, he does not become a monster. And when you look long into the abyss, the abyss also looks into you."~Nietzsche
The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return.
My Place
My PBH
BUS family:
Twin~Beasty
Elf Sib~Sprink
Fairy Mummy~Starry
Younger Sissy~Kate
Big Bruvver~Dan
Half-Sissy~Annabel
Cousin~Peggie
Aunt~Mande
Sprinkled Cupcake~Noldo
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Pink_Stars
- orange smartie
- Posts: 1783
- Joined: Mon May 16, 2005 11:28 am
- Location: Over the hills and far away
Re: Secrets Thread - Read first post!
I wish I felt like you wanted me more.
~I often think there is no such thing as terrible. Just blocked things, lost words, souls that missed the train~
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guest567
Re: Secrets Thread - Read first post!
There are times I feel so overwhelmed with feelings that I feel I can't breathe.
More often than not recently I have wished to be someone else. Someone not so 'dependable', 'reliable', 'trustworthy' and 'nice'. Then I realise I can't because that's who I am and I value those characteristics. I just wish things were a bit different.
More often than not recently I have wished to be someone else. Someone not so 'dependable', 'reliable', 'trustworthy' and 'nice'. Then I realise I can't because that's who I am and I value those characteristics. I just wish things were a bit different.
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Pink_Stars
- orange smartie
- Posts: 1783
- Joined: Mon May 16, 2005 11:28 am
- Location: Over the hills and far away
Re: Secrets Thread - Read first post!
I'm sitting, waiting for you to get in contact with me. Please don't make me wait forever. I miss you.
~I often think there is no such thing as terrible. Just blocked things, lost words, souls that missed the train~
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amerylis
- board admin emeritus
- Posts: 6806
- Joined: Fri Oct 22, 2004 5:33 pm
- Gender: Female
- Location: UK
Re: Secrets Thread - Read first post!
you asked me what was wrong, said i could talk to you, why are you not replying now im trying to
~~Panda~~
6000 - 6999 - awe-inspiring
~my Place~ all welcome
To the world you are one person, but to one person you may be the world.
3 years SI free since May 2013
6 years SI free Jan 2007 - Feb 2013 with lapses in March/April 2013
6000 - 6999 - awe-inspiring
~my Place~ all welcome
To the world you are one person, but to one person you may be the world.
3 years SI free since May 2013
6 years SI free Jan 2007 - Feb 2013 with lapses in March/April 2013
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zyn
- beyond inspiring
- Posts: 9038
- Joined: Wed Jul 06, 2011 10:04 pm
- Gender: Female
- Location: Scotland
Re: Secrets Thread - Read first post!
I spent two weeks waiting to see you. And you made my day. Thank you.
"If knew what I thought I wouldn't need to make anything."
"Work is a fight against loneliness, against low self esteem, against depression, and against staying in bed. Sometimes my self esteem is so low that I cannot reach it even when I'm feeling down." - Martin Creed
SI free since 1st January 2012
Last SI: 23rd April 2013
"Work is a fight against loneliness, against low self esteem, against depression, and against staying in bed. Sometimes my self esteem is so low that I cannot reach it even when I'm feeling down." - Martin Creed
Last SI: 23rd April 2013
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capricorn
- awe-inspiring
- Posts: 6410
- Joined: Sun Jan 03, 2010 10:21 pm
- Gender: Female
- Location: London, UK
- Contact:
Re: Secrets Thread - Read first post!
My drinking [of fluids, not alcohol] has got really really bad lately. Not having cereal in the mornings made more of a difference than I thought, I have visual snow and I'm thirsty all the time but 
~Capri
xoxo
"Awake and unafraid."
My Chemical Romance
"I am haunted by humans."
The Book Thief
"Been trying hard not to get into trouble, but I've got a war in my mind."
Lana Del Rey
"It's always darkest just before the dawn. So stay awake with me. Let's prove them wrong."
Rise Against
"I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain."
Dune
xoxo
"Awake and unafraid."
My Chemical Romance
"I am haunted by humans."
The Book Thief
"Been trying hard not to get into trouble, but I've got a war in my mind."
Lana Del Rey
"It's always darkest just before the dawn. So stay awake with me. Let's prove them wrong."
Rise Against
"I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain."
Dune
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zyn
- beyond inspiring
- Posts: 9038
- Joined: Wed Jul 06, 2011 10:04 pm
- Gender: Female
- Location: Scotland
Re: Secrets Thread - Read first post!
I don't drink enough. I feel I don't deserve it, or I don't notice. So I haven't constant headaches. But I don't want to drink.
"If knew what I thought I wouldn't need to make anything."
"Work is a fight against loneliness, against low self esteem, against depression, and against staying in bed. Sometimes my self esteem is so low that I cannot reach it even when I'm feeling down." - Martin Creed
SI free since 1st January 2012
Last SI: 23rd April 2013
"Work is a fight against loneliness, against low self esteem, against depression, and against staying in bed. Sometimes my self esteem is so low that I cannot reach it even when I'm feeling down." - Martin Creed
Last SI: 23rd April 2013
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Just Pomegranates
- forum moderator emeritus
- Posts: 4777
- Joined: Sat Jul 30, 2011 11:24 pm
Re: Secrets Thread - Read first post!
Sometimes I don't think I realize how self derogatory I am and when I do I can't seem to stop.
“If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito.” - Dalai Lama XIV
“The shark that does not swim, drowns.” - Russian Proverb
“The shark that does not swim, drowns.” - Russian Proverb
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strider 151
- bus mechanic
- Posts: 3422
- Joined: Thu Jun 19, 2008 7:47 pm
- Gender: female
- Location: my mind
- Contact:
Re: Secrets Thread - Read first post!
im hurting so much right now but i dare not tell anyone
my mums engaged again
i dont want to see my mum, everytime im near her i just feel hurt and like im pretending to be happy with her all the time, im avoiding her as much as i can but i dont know what to do
my mums engaged again
i dont want to see my mum, everytime im near her i just feel hurt and like im pretending to be happy with her all the time, im avoiding her as much as i can but i dont know what to do
PBH, Telling my parents, My place - All welcome [hugs, stars, challenges, questions are all ok 
In the end, it doesnt matter where you have been or who you were,
it only matters who you want to be and where you want to end up.
[Working Towards Recovery]
*I can do all things through christ who strengthens me, Philippians 4:13*
In the end, it doesnt matter where you have been or who you were,
it only matters who you want to be and where you want to end up.
[Working Towards Recovery] *I can do all things through christ who strengthens me, Philippians 4:13*
Re: Secrets Thread - Read first post!
It felt good, and I don't know whether it should've done.
♥ "You're not a bad person. You're a very good person, who bad things have happened to. Besides, the world isn't split into good people and Death Eaters. We've all got both light and dark inside us. What matters is the part we choose to act on. That's who we really are." ♥
♥ "My thoughts are stars I can't fathom into constellations." ♥
♥ "I lit up like a Christmas tree, Hazel Grace." ♥
♥ "Things haven't always been this bad, therefore, things won't always be this bad." ♥
My Place
My Efforts At Being Healthy
My Bus Butterfly Obsession
♥ DFTBA ♥
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Just Pomegranates
- forum moderator emeritus
- Posts: 4777
- Joined: Sat Jul 30, 2011 11:24 pm
Re: Secrets Thread - Read first post!
I haven't really made an effort to make friends in 3 semesters of university so far and just had a moment of realizing I actually feel really lonely and it's entirely my own fault. 
“If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito.” - Dalai Lama XIV
“The shark that does not swim, drowns.” - Russian Proverb
“The shark that does not swim, drowns.” - Russian Proverb
Re: Secrets Thread - Read first post!
I miss you, I miss us, I miss everything about those two years, Right now I'd face all the hate we had thrown at us, just to be able to hold you and for everything to be like it was for just 5 minutes. I..... I Need You....... but you aren't here anymore....
Hold Fast To Your Dreams, For If Dreams Die, Life Is a Broken Winged Bird, That Cannot Fly If you think outside the box there's no such thing as square one.
No matter which sleeve you wear your heart,
Whichever way you wear your crown,
Tomorrow is another day to turn it all around
I will stop when I'm ready I'll shown everyone my cards
But for now I'll keep on playing even when the game gets hard.
19/07/1952 - 30/12/2013 Never Ever Forgotten 13/05/14 - I Love Her
19/4/15 - The Day I Said Yes
17/06/17 - Rings swapped, Hearts interlocked
<-- Marlo & Mookau--> 
Caffiene Addict since 2004-
noldo
- forum moderator - coping & place & expressions
- Posts: 18735
- Joined: Wed Oct 20, 2004 5:12 am
- Gender: girl
- Location: Germany - Age:36
- Contact:
Re: Secrets Thread - Read first post!
I still wish that you love me back.
sig and avy made by wonderful wds
My Place (replies, hugs, stars welcome) My Art (comments very welcome) My PBH Thread (replies very welcome)
English isn't my native language, please bear with me.
You always deserve help. It doesn't matter if you already made progress; it doesn't matter if someone else has it worse; you deserve help.
Re: Secrets Thread - Read first post!
Things are bad tonight.... I need help.... but I'm all alone.... I don't know how much fight i've got left in me....
Hold Fast To Your Dreams, For If Dreams Die, Life Is a Broken Winged Bird, That Cannot Fly If you think outside the box there's no such thing as square one.
No matter which sleeve you wear your heart,
Whichever way you wear your crown,
Tomorrow is another day to turn it all around
I will stop when I'm ready I'll shown everyone my cards
But for now I'll keep on playing even when the game gets hard.
19/07/1952 - 30/12/2013 Never Ever Forgotten 13/05/14 - I Love Her
19/4/15 - The Day I Said Yes
17/06/17 - Rings swapped, Hearts interlocked
<-- Marlo & Mookau--> Caffiene Addict since 2004-
mande
- forum moderator - life after & place
- Posts: 4037
- Joined: Tue Feb 24, 2009 3:37 am
- Gender: female
- Location: New York City
- Contact:
Re: Secrets Thread - Read first post!
I'm aware my friendship means nothing to you. I want to move far away.
Re: Secrets Thread - Read first post!
I am such a coward. I wish I could die and then it would all go away.
For among these winters there is one so endlessly winter
that only by wintering through it all will your heart survive.
~Rainer Maria Rilke
My place
that only by wintering through it all will your heart survive.
~Rainer Maria Rilke
My place
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noldo
- forum moderator - coping & place & expressions
- Posts: 18735
- Joined: Wed Oct 20, 2004 5:12 am
- Gender: girl
- Location: Germany - Age:36
- Contact:
Re: Secrets Thread - Read first post!
I want to die. I hate that I can't just jump, that people (even if they don't know) are holding me back.
sig and avy made by wonderful wds
My Place (replies, hugs, stars welcome) My Art (comments very welcome) My PBH Thread (replies very welcome)
English isn't my native language, please bear with me.
You always deserve help. It doesn't matter if you already made progress; it doesn't matter if someone else has it worse; you deserve help.
Re: Secrets Thread - Read first post!
Right now.... I just want to go home.
Hold Fast To Your Dreams, For If Dreams Die, Life Is a Broken Winged Bird, That Cannot Fly If you think outside the box there's no such thing as square one.
No matter which sleeve you wear your heart,
Whichever way you wear your crown,
Tomorrow is another day to turn it all around
I will stop when I'm ready I'll shown everyone my cards
But for now I'll keep on playing even when the game gets hard.
19/07/1952 - 30/12/2013 Never Ever Forgotten 13/05/14 - I Love Her
19/4/15 - The Day I Said Yes
17/06/17 - Rings swapped, Hearts interlocked
<-- Marlo & Mookau--> Caffiene Addict since 2004Who is online
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