Secrets Thread - Read first post!

tips on how to cope: dealing with your feelings, dealing with the consequences of self-harm in your life. share your ideas and maybe pick up some new skills, too. you don't have to want to stop to learn something new here.

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breathing
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Re: Secrets Thread - Read first post!

Post by breathing » Thu Dec 15, 2011 4:52 am

If I didn't pass this one class in particular, I don't know what I'm going to do, but it won't be positive. Not having very positive thoughts about it (and myself) right now.

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styled_wrong
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Re: Secrets Thread - Read first post!

Post by styled_wrong » Sat Dec 17, 2011 12:17 am

I am struggling to find reasons to carry on
scars are tattoos with better stories
it's hard to answer the question whats wrong, when nothing is 'right'
Not all scars show. Not all wounds heal. Sometimes you cant always see the pain someone feels

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Chey
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Re: Secrets Thread - Read first post!

Post by Chey » Sat Dec 17, 2011 11:51 am

You really need to cut back on the sugar. I am worried about your health. You went from a healthy weight a year ago to being my weight and your a few inches shorter then me. I am trying to be healthy and since we both have gall bladder issues I look to you for advice but your sudden need to eat candy constantly and not eat anything else worries me greatly.


" “In 900 years of time and space, I’ve never met anyone who wasn’t important” — The Doctor, Season 6, Christmas Special

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zyn
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Re: Secrets Thread - Read first post!

Post by zyn » Sat Dec 17, 2011 1:25 pm

Your words made me cry in the best possible way. You've given me hope again, your words will guide me through this shit until I've sewn every star back into the sky, until I run out of thread, until I become who I want to be.
"If knew what I thought I wouldn't need to make anything."
"Work is a fight against loneliness, against low self esteem, against depression, and against staying in bed. Sometimes my self esteem is so low that I cannot reach it even when I'm feeling down." - Martin Creed



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Last SI: 23rd April 2013

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strider 151
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Re: Secrets Thread - Read first post!

Post by strider 151 » Tue Dec 20, 2011 5:30 pm

your not who i thought you were. you dont love me as you say you do, your not there for me, and i really need you right now but your too wrapped up in your own problems and pretending to care about me anymore. i have realised this and am hiding it from you. thats my secret!
PBH, Telling my parents, My place - All welcome [hugs, stars, challenges, questions are all ok :gooddeal: :Fade-color

In the end, it doesnt matter where you have been or who you were,
it only matters who you want to be and where you want to end up.


:pangel: [Working Towards Recovery] :pangel:
*I can do all things through christ who strengthens me, Philippians 4:13*

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demolition_lover
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Re: Secrets Thread - Read first post!

Post by demolition_lover » Wed Dec 28, 2011 6:44 am

I don't know how to stop being manipulative.
I'm not afraid to keep on living

My Place: now the world.
"I have wasted years of my life agonizing about the fires I started when I thought that to be strong, you must be flame-retardant." - Amanda Palmer, Ampersand[/center]
VelvetLady wrote:"Demolition_Lover by any other name would still rock as hard." —Shakespeare, as soon as I get a functional time machine and bring him round to meet you

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broken123
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Re: Secrets Thread - Read first post!

Post by broken123 » Wed Dec 28, 2011 8:11 pm

ED voices still speak to me, and they are stronger then before
But we must keep fighting, because all is never fully lost. There is always something worth fighting for, if we look hard enough.

Can I start again?

I just wish i could love myself, maybe then it wont matter that you never did...


*In Recovery*

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stripysocks4christ
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Re: Secrets Thread - Read first post!

Post by stripysocks4christ » Wed Dec 28, 2011 8:26 pm

im so scared.. because the paranoia i feel around you isnt normal.. it is wrong.. we used to be so close, now whenever im around you, im paranoid that you will leave me, that you will walk away.. i want you to be mad at me, cos i can deal with that, i can understand it if you are mad at me.. and i look into your every word, every action, looking for a reason to tell myself you hate me.. and thats not right.. and i havnt told you this, and im scared, cos its not normal.. and i know im pushing you away, and i dont want to, but im scared, and i dont understand, and i will just end up hurting everyone else like the bitch i am.. im sorry..
"Love does not make the world go round... It’s what makes the ride worth while"
"Good friends lift you up when your wings forget to fly"

"Let Go and Let God"
"God will never let us fall without a plan on how to save us"
"For I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength" – Philippians 4:13

"I only lied so I didn't have to see the tears of disappointment in your eyes"
"I don't want the world to see me, cos I don't think that they'd understand..."


xx Kitti xx


:heart: :ylwheart: :grnheart: :blueheart: :lpurpheart: :blueheart: :grnheart: :ylwheart: :heart:

my place
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Chey
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Re: Secrets Thread - Read first post!

Post by Chey » Wed Dec 28, 2011 8:43 pm

I really want to abuse one medication. I need the extra energy and need to get stuff done. I wont do it though cause some of the medication was not cleaned up and it made my first cat very sick I nearly lost her. I promised I would never again do it as long as my kitty survived and she made it through. Still I am so tempted but I know I can't and I wont put my cats in danger ever again.


" “In 900 years of time and space, I’ve never met anyone who wasn’t important” — The Doctor, Season 6, Christmas Special

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zyn
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Re: Secrets Thread - Read first post!

Post by zyn » Wed Dec 28, 2011 8:50 pm

I wish I could tell you much your words mean to me. Now, and over the past few weeks...they're keeping what sanity I have held together. I wish I could tell you how amazing you are, how much I admire & respect you. I wish things were different. I wish I could talk freely with you, I think you'd understand.
"If knew what I thought I wouldn't need to make anything."
"Work is a fight against loneliness, against low self esteem, against depression, and against staying in bed. Sometimes my self esteem is so low that I cannot reach it even when I'm feeling down." - Martin Creed



SI free since 1st January 2012
Last SI: 23rd April 2013

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demolition_lover
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Re: Secrets Thread - Read first post!

Post by demolition_lover » Tue Jan 17, 2012 5:36 am

I'm just about ready to give up on being alcohol and drug-free, with the exception of my occasional sleep-aid abuse. I used to be so set on being the straight-edge kid, the one with the unshakable morals who could party with her friends substance-free. And it's not that - I do have fun with my friends. I want to escape and it seems so appealing right now, and it's just been getting stronger over the past 6 months. I don't know how much longer I will hold out.
I'm not afraid to keep on living

My Place: now the world.
"I have wasted years of my life agonizing about the fires I started when I thought that to be strong, you must be flame-retardant." - Amanda Palmer, Ampersand[/center]
VelvetLady wrote:"Demolition_Lover by any other name would still rock as hard." —Shakespeare, as soon as I get a functional time machine and bring him round to meet you

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Lynds
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Re: Secrets Thread - Read first post!

Post by Lynds » Sun Jan 22, 2012 1:07 pm

I do and I don't know what I want...both things scare the shit out of me. I feel so unhappy.
"She would never know, because he would never tell her. Somehow if she’d known the worst parts, she couldn’t have gone on being a haven for him… He needed her ignorance to hide in. Yet at the same time, he wanted to know and be known as deeply as possible. And the two desires were irreconcilable"
From Regeneration by Pat Barker

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Chey
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Re: Secrets Thread - Read first post!

Post by Chey » Sun Jan 22, 2012 4:40 pm

SA trigger. I am keeping the text small as its a serious trigger.
*
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I am keeping the text small as it is a serious SA trigger.


that made me so sick and I reported what I saw but I will never know if the kids will be rescued, if the evil perps will be prosecuted or caught. I feel so helpless and I know all I could do was report the picture but I feel so sick and angry and helpless. I feel so confused and I need to talk to someone but I don't know who to talk to.


*
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*





End of triggers.


" “In 900 years of time and space, I’ve never met anyone who wasn’t important” — The Doctor, Season 6, Christmas Special

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zyn
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Re: Secrets Thread - Read first post!

Post by zyn » Sun Jan 22, 2012 5:03 pm

^ :1hug: :1hug: :1hug: :1hug:

It makes me cry to know that you email me on a Sunday. I want to know if you email ALL your students on a Sunday, but I doubt it. I don't think anyone emails you as much as I do, because I'm not sure that everyone likes you much. But I like you, and I admire and respect you. Your words keep me going, and I look at the remedy you gave me every day and feel like crying because that needle and thread symbolises so much to me.
"If knew what I thought I wouldn't need to make anything."
"Work is a fight against loneliness, against low self esteem, against depression, and against staying in bed. Sometimes my self esteem is so low that I cannot reach it even when I'm feeling down." - Martin Creed



SI free since 1st January 2012
Last SI: 23rd April 2013

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Chey
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Re: Secrets Thread - Read first post!

Post by Chey » Sun Jan 22, 2012 5:12 pm

Thanks for the hugs Zyn :1hug:



why do I keep getting time blanks. I have not had them in years. Maybe I kinda know why I am having them. I want them to stop. I have a lot to do. I just want the time blanks to stop.


" “In 900 years of time and space, I’ve never met anyone who wasn’t important” — The Doctor, Season 6, Christmas Special

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zyn
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Re: Secrets Thread - Read first post!

Post by zyn » Sun Jan 22, 2012 5:15 pm

Anytime :)

I'm going to fail my exam tomorrow.
"If knew what I thought I wouldn't need to make anything."
"Work is a fight against loneliness, against low self esteem, against depression, and against staying in bed. Sometimes my self esteem is so low that I cannot reach it even when I'm feeling down." - Martin Creed



SI free since 1st January 2012
Last SI: 23rd April 2013

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munchalot11
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Re: Secrets Thread - Read first post!

Post by munchalot11 » Sun Jan 29, 2012 7:24 pm

Why do i always mess up everything?
Our scars remind us that the past is real

I'm an automatic steeple for depressed and lonely people...
... but the only trouble is, I don't know how to give myself advice



On the mission to make the perfect flat white. Because I'm cool like that.

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Alone
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Re: Secrets Thread - Read first post!

Post by Alone » Thu Feb 02, 2012 8:45 pm

I had an abortion many years ago. it is haunting me

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meadow14
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Re: Secrets Thread - Read first post!

Post by meadow14 » Fri Feb 03, 2012 1:13 am

I wish I was worthy of the help I am receiving to overcome SI.
All that is valuable in human society depends upon the opportunity for development accorded the individual.
Albert Einstein

Read more: http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/autho ... z1lGxV0sH0

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Lynds
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Re: Secrets Thread - Read first post!

Post by Lynds » Sun Feb 05, 2012 9:19 pm

I said my secret out loud to another human being today...it scared the shit out of me
"She would never know, because he would never tell her. Somehow if she’d known the worst parts, she couldn’t have gone on being a haven for him… He needed her ignorance to hide in. Yet at the same time, he wanted to know and be known as deeply as possible. And the two desires were irreconcilable"
From Regeneration by Pat Barker

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