Things Left Unsaid *LA*

[racewithdeath]

ya... im back again....


H: you will never know how much you help me. thanks for distracting me (thats for today) and always being there no matter what. love ya.

B: i dont want to hear about MHS anymore. im trying to forget about it, and yes, about HIM. i cant take that now. oh yea, by the way, i cut.

JESS: where are you? i need to talk to you. thanks for being there last year, i didnt have anyone else.

SELF: tell your parents now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[caterpillargirl]

deleted

[DiamondHeart]

J:
You fucking BITCH! I never would have fucking DREAMED of hurting you like you've hurt me!
I would do ANYTHING for you! I still WOULD! Jesus Christ, it's not like I didn't offer you a second chance!!! You just LEFT! You just fucking LEFT! What the hell was I supposed to DO?! You barely talked to me anymore and when you did you sure as hell didn't say much, much less why you were being so distant!
I love you. You're my best friend and I'll never have what I have with you again. I don't want to lose you. I'd rather die than lose you...we've been through so much together..how can that not mean anything to you? How can a year of being literally all each other had not fucking mean anything?
You meant everything to me. You were the first person who ever loved me for God's sake. I can't even look at Sibby without crying. Every time I reach to hold my necklace, I wince because it's not there anymore. I never, ever meant to hurt you. I never will.
I'll forgive anything so long as you come back..please...

~Diamond~

[Jaded]

J. How dare you go around calling me your "best friend" after all the pain you've caused me, after abandoning me, having no time for me when I needed a friend more than ever, how dare you, I don't want to be your stupid "best friend" I don't want anything to do with you because you only bring me down, only make me feel more useless than I already do without any help from you, you're nothing.

[bexy]

S-please, I tried my best to ask you for help. I tried everything I could think of to make you see I wasnt all right. What will it take before you listen? Maybe if we'd been alone I could have just said 'help me please' but I never see you apart from with a whole crowd of other people.

Mr W, Mrs D, A, everyone else-Couldn't you see I was lying? The truth was right in front of you but you chose to ignore it. I know it makes it easier for you if you can just pretend but I can't pretend.

M-I tried to tell you, you still didnt listen, you kept saying the same things over and over. Please listen to what Im telling you.

[theatregeek]

Mom And Dad-Thanks for being there, but please try to understand i need my space....

Zach-I love you so much, what is going on? Do u not love me anymore, if so break it off so i am not going crazy, But if u did break it off i would be so depressed, i love you so much more than u realize and i need u here by my side...please try harder...i will too...

Colleen-I love you so much. You rock my world! Thanks for always being there...

Ali-Hmmmm whats going on with u...are u a good person or a bad one...

Jennie-You can be annoying but i still love ya!

Lore-OMG HUN!!!!!! u rock my world. I love you so much! i hope i see u soon! You are so awesum, u hang in there for me and i will for you!!!! I LOVE YOU

[lore]

mom - you freak out too much, are you just looking for attention?
dad - you do so much for me, like waiting in the car sunday...but i'm just selfish..
mom and dad - if you knew...just everything... SI, ED, being bi... you would freak. i don't want you to freak. i don't want you to know, it wouldn't help me any to go IP, i don't deserve that help anyway..

b - you don't know...if you did know..a lot of the stuff i edited out of my place etc...you'd either hate me or things'd be pretty awkward...

j- you're a cutie for a 13 year old...

j- please stop worrying about k... just get over it. i did. i know it's hard and i understand but please... it makes me feel terrible.

ringo - what the fuck are you doing to her? you're only going to hurt her in the long run...god damn.

a- you can get pretty annoying when you change your mind about me..

[lore]

mom - you freak out too much, are you just looking for attention?
dad - you do so much for me, like waiting in the car sunday...but i'm just selfish..
mom and dad - if you knew...just everything... SI, ED, being bi... you would freak. i don't want you to freak. i don't want you to know, it wouldn't help me any to go IP, i don't deserve that help anyway..

b - you don't know...if you did know..a lot of the stuff i edited out of my place etc...you'd either hate me or things'd be pretty awkward...

j- you're a cutie for a 13 year old...

j- please stop worrying about k... just get over it. i did. i know it's hard and i understand but please... it makes me feel terrible.

ringo - what the fuck are you doing to her? you're only going to hurt her in the long run...god damn.

a- you can get pretty annoying when you change your mind about me..


heidi - omfg i love you so much...and hang in there, no matter WHAT! you dont know how much youve helped me...

[dramababy2003]

amy- your a doll and you will make the best psycatrist.


mila- stop kicking me and making fun of me and my life for- crying out loud!!! ill date whoever i want and ill do whatever i want!!! if u dont wanna hang out then dont invite me!!!


han- helping in ways that cant be described.


jeff- i dont hate you but i dont think you should hate me for my scars.


jim/JJ- dont make fun of my best friend, u jerks!!! I HATE HOW UR DOING THAT!!!


dan- YOUR SO ANOYING TO BE AROUND AND YOUR NOT COOL NO MATTER HOW HARD YOU TRY


Kathryn- SAME AS DAN


mike- just becuase you dont talk to me, does mean u dont lik me!!!! GR!




woo theres more to everyone then can be imagined....

[Ysilne]

family and friends : I feel bad. I am not just "a little depressed". I am suicidal. I've felt like this for years and I need you to adknowledge it. I need your help. I don't need you telling me what to do. I don't want to be ignored either. Don't let me make decisions and don't tell me about bad things I do if that's not really a problem. I can't stand it.
And don't assume I can work and do loads of things. I won't work next year and I am not working at my job, just pretending so until I get in real trouble.
Please help me for little things, it's nothing for you, but too much for me. I can't take care of myself and pay my bills and do all the house chores and be nice with you...

mum : I don't know what you know about SI, but I want you to know that I have not done it jusst for a few months in highschool. I've struggled with it for 8 years and I still think it's not over. Let me tell you what it is. And don't make comments about how "beautiful I am" and how sad it is that there are scars on my arms.

sister & brothers : I feel bad. You know I've tried to SU years ago. It hurts that you've never talked about it with me again. It hurts that you think I am a normal and happy person. It hurts that you hardly know me. I've tried SU 5 times. I took meds for years.
I know you all have you own lifes, but can't you just call sometime and ask me how I really feel ?

[racewithdeath]

PARENTS: i just cant stand to be touched by you! ok! i know it must be hard finding out about my si but please, just treat me normal! stop freaking out at every little thing i do or say!

JESS: where the fuck are you?

EVERYONE AT MHS: no, im not just a lil sad. im fucking depressed, yeah.. ive tryed to kill myself! and i still cut almost every fuckin day! i wish you never happened to me. I HATE YOU ALL!!!!

H: your the only person i havent wanted to run away from. i havent even know you for a year, but you know more about me than anyone. dont leave me, please. i love you more than anything. i wish i was better for you, but i cant be, im too messed up. and come back from your trip already! i miss you!!!

SELF: stupid stupid stupid...

[theatregeek]

ZB-Ok now that everything is worked out, im still wondering...Why are you still with me? Do you honestly love me, or are u just staying so u can have someone. Now dont get me wrong i love you so much and im glad your still here. But if u honestly dont love me please dont lead me on. And one last request....KEEP YOUR MOUTH TO YOURSELF DAMNIT!

BR-I hate you. You Annoy me, and you ARE cutting for attention. I know it. OHHH BOO HOO KEITHY DOESNT LIKE YOU. Waaa waaa cry me a river then drown in it. K?

BP-I luv you becky. YOu rock my world. Hang in there it will be alright.

KaP-Thanks for being there. Be nice to your sister, and please dont say things about the reasons why we are cutting. But other than that i love you like a fat kid loves cake! (and sry i didnt get JT's Underwear :'()

KP-Umm ok, why arent u talking to me? You said you would be there and u would try to help, but u keep your fucking mouth shut. How the hell can you help if u dont say a damn word to me? and btw ali cheats on you, and i think u should dump her...but hey what do i know? my bf cheated on me and i am still with him, so w/e.

JK-Your time will come, believe me, i know it.

JS-ERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

Dad-Ummm ok....your different....kinda weird...but hey itz all good!

Mom-Stop pretending on BUS that you are caring or that you know how i feel. I know there are times when my issues piss me off. And i have seen your posts when u put "and she felt better" and shit like that...(and frankly i dont give a flying fuck if i owe u 25 cents!) u dont know how i feel, so stop pretending you do!

KM-Same with you. Dont act like you love me on BUS then in real life totally treat me like shit. I HATE you. you need to realize it. I FUCKING HATE you! damn, like in the car last night when i said somethign about wanting to kill myself you said "Dont use that as your excuse all the time" yea ok, u really love me if ur using my issues against me. BITCH. But hey, u can be cool at times.

[Alias Grace]

M -- I love you. I worry. Don't ask me not to, it's futile.

B -- I know something is wrong, and I know you probably don't want to talk about it. That's okay -- it's your prerogative -- but I wish that you would at least tell me "I'm having a hard time right now, and I'd rather not talk about it."

T -- I don't know what happened, exactly. I guess on some level I am allowing myself to be angry about things that may or may not be in your control. But I love you and I can't stop doing it, so I guess I'll be sticking around for a bit.

F -- You don't know who I am just yet, the word for "auntie" is not in your vocabulary. I saw your picture just the other day and you are beautiful and happy and intelligent looking. I'm glad I had at least one chance to hold you in my arms and look you in your beautiful eyes, and if we never meet again, I hope you are as happy and beautiful as you are now when you are 24 like me.

[lore]

c- i miss you. it's weird. you still love her...and my parents short of hate you. but i miss you. and i don't know what this is... i have never had the compulsion to learn german before...*sigh* but i'm scared of you too... of you and the possibility that i might like you...because you're imposing, you're handsome, and you appear cold and unfeeling... but you really aren't. what will it take for me to comprehend myself?

[lore]

parents - i self injure. i cut myself. on purpose. no, i don't do it to "be cool" or keep up with a trend or because my friends do. sure, some of my friends self-injure, but i didnt start because of them and i don't continue to for them either. they have prevented my suicide many times. that's right - I HAVE ATTEMPTED SUICIDE. i, perfect little girl, am fucked up. i have body image issues and maybe an eating disorder. i don't know. i can't let you see my cuts because then you will know - you will take me from my friends. and you will make me stop. i don't want to. it's helping me. i would be dead now without SI. so just turn away. keep thinking i'm perfect. you like me better that way.

[Twilit_Star]

mom and dad -

i can not deal with the therapy you put me in. only you can make it stop. so make it stop now. i hate being so helpless. all i can do to feel like i am accomplishing something is to cut and cut and cut until there is nothing left. i need some sort of help and i am not talking about the moron who treats me both like i am forty and like i am six at once. i need someone who i can trust. i need to be in therapy that is outside. i go into those offices and the words get lost and i do what i do best. i act. i need someone who won't corner me. i need someone who i can trust not to run to you. my therapist likes you better than he likes me and that is not okay.

listen to me. i am telling you in a million ways that you ignore. unless i scream in your face or bleed before your eyes you don't care. please care about something other than the marks on my body. not having the marks there doesn't mean that i am okay.

but i will continue to pretend because you can't take the truth. you are killing me slowly. i love you.

liss

[theatregeek]

LB-Ahh babe! your so great! I love how you are never depressed. You handle so much and you keep smiling, Your my inspiration...we need to get together and save the bugs again

BR-Yea ok, i hate you so much. I hope i never see you during the rest of the summer. You are way to overdramatic and it pisses me off...well buh bye.

AH-OOh watch out for mitch. He is a druggie and a pyro and he loves drugs more than his girlfriends. I am wishing u the best of luck.

ZB-Hmm, you home? havent talked to u in way to long,. miss you.

JK-Ahh babe, you need to realize things with keith might not work out...

AD-Haha! were such whores...your my girl! that was too funny....why are our men always out? lol

TS6- OMG YOU GIRLS ARE ALL COCK SUCKERS! i hate all of you in that group. You can never say anything nice to anyone. Why dont you realize even tho your popular no1 likes you. All of you have no friends. All you have is yourselves....come one...call my boyfriend a fag....call keith one 2...just becuz they are in theatre and are talented...that MUST make them gay. You girls need to realize talent does not make us geeks. WE have more friends than u do. And when i say friends i mean people who wont talk about us behind our backs, people who wont go and screw eachothers bfs...people who actualyl treat us like friends....ok?

[C_Tyrdrop]

S -- I don't understand you at all. What gives you the right to be a self-centred, manipulative, heartless bitch? What gives you the fucking right to do what you're doing to T-sama? And, no, you are not better than all of us. I promise. I really wish gutting you wouldn't make T-sama suicidal. *sighs* I hate it that you're hurting him.

Am I like her?

[1337 933k]

**LA/violence**


mom, dad- i cut. im depressed. i want attention but dont assume all this is to get it. and are you blind? theres so much im hiding from you. all the vididence and proof is infront of you. dont you even care? you keep me locked up in this hell hole, not even letting me go any where. not letting me have friends. but you STILL have no idea what it is m doing! what the hell is wrong with you? can you see im bloody killing myself here!? just bother to wallk into my room once! there are razzors in my dresser. there are blades and lighters in my backpack. the god damn blood stains on my bed! for cthulhus sake check in the closet and under my bed! wondering what those bloody knives were from? are you morons!? its not that hard to figure out! maybe you freakin know already but your taunting me in a sick game. if u had walked in 2 months ago you would have found a god damn explosives labratorry in my closet for crying out loud!!!! dont you even care what im doing? i know you do. every time i leave the house you insist on following me. when i go online you monitor me, and if your going to do that use a prog i cant crack already. you meet all my friends. you controll everything i do. but in this house, in this room, you have no earthly idea who i really am! CANT YOU SEE I FUCKING WANT TO GET CAUGHT!?!?!?! i want you to know everything! i want you to know about the cutting, how depressed i get, how much i hate evryone. i know you think im stupid but im a thousand times smarter than you could have ever been! you wont even try to see who i am! you say you love me, but all i see is dissapointment in your eyes. i want you to be proud of me! but im not going to change so that you will be.

mr g- shut the fuckin hell up! you cant make me do anything! i dont wanna be here and i dont wanna fuckin hear your lectures and bull shit!

ms k- i dont hate you. i really dont. i look up to you not because i admire you, but that one of the oh so very few people who lets me be myself.
im sry your life is slowly mellting around you. mine would be too, if i had one.

thad- JACK OFF INFRONT OF ME ONE MORE TIME AND IM CUTTING IT OFF!


kate- YOU FUCKING RETARD! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU!!! damnit bitch why cant you shut the fucking hell up!!!! i dont need you in my bissynes!

ren- try to kill yourself one more time... go ahead. il fuckin let you die this time. i cant watch out for both of us.

kiken- i love you. i fucking love you! im sry i have caused you so much grief. i know your life is just as screwd up as mine. im sorry i complain all the time. im sorry i stress you like this. but i love you more than i let you know. more than i want to let myself know.

keenan- i hate you. get your dAMN FUCKIN SELLF your own life and stop hanging around me!

tiffany- thad tolld me he wants to have sex with you. can i kill him?

edward- YOU TOUCH MY ASS AGAIN AND YOUR DICK IS DOWN YOUR THROAT!!!! and for the last time, im not gay!!!!

calvin- shuv it you basterd! im sick of hearing your whiny lil voice! i dont fuckin care if you have mental problems thats no excuse damniT! i dont want to hear a word outa you!

julia- i killed your dog. im sorry. i should have tolld you. im soo sorry!

daniell- i killed your hamster... but im not sry. he wanted me to. and he wouldnt shut up.

cindy- WALLK IN ON ME CUTTING ONE MORE TIME AND IL CUT YOU! and threaten to tell mom again and your dead!

george- im sorry. you were right. why wont you tallk to me!? ITS BEEN TWO FUCKIN YEARS!!! IM SORRY!!! DUDE!!!! ITS BEEN TWO YEARs! why cant you forgive me by now?

john- stop crying you faggot. i have ten thousand times more problems than you and am i hiding in a corner crying?

gabriell- i hate you.

cliff- i didnt really hate you... im sry i said that. im sorry bout all i said about you.

jesse- what is there to say? i hate you. i should kill you for what youve put me thru. but im sry. it was my fault. but you didnt have to drag me thru hell just because you thought ide enjoy the ride.

lizz- i havent forgotten you. i know its been 3 years since ive seen you and over a year sence weve tallked. i know you hate me. but i havent forgotten you.

travis-im sorry what ever it was i said, or did, or didnt do. its been long enugh. il end this if you will. we used to be best friends why do you hate me now? i never hated you. please, just tallk to me again?

[theatregeek]

Aa-Why dont you talk to me anymore?????

Zb-I find it odd that u call everyother person u know except for me. Im sorry i am depressed, im sorry i cut myself. but please understand i need you.

Lw-AHHHH I LOVE YOU WAY TO MUCH! u are beautiful no matter what anyone says! you are one of the best people in my life, i am so glad i know u. You have saved me so many times!

Br- I STILL HATE YOU!!!!!!!

Cm-YAY we r in the same homeroom!!!!! u are such a great person! i love you so much!

Js-Stop triggering me.

Ad-Ahaha you are so great~ althought i think u should stop cheating on him.

Kp-Watch out hun....she cheats....

KaP-Havent talked to you for awhile :'(