Gaining control - SI

tips on how to cope: dealing with your feelings, dealing with the consequences of self-harm in your life. share your ideas and maybe pick up some new skills, too. you don't have to want to stop to learn something new here.

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Kltat
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Gaining control - SI

Post by Kltat » Wed Dec 01, 2010 5:52 pm

Anyone have any tips on getting your head right when you don't feel in control?

That seems to be my breaking point, I need to find a healthier outlet when things are not going the way I want them to.

Thanks in advance, you all rock. :-)
Hugs and PMs welcome. :-)

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Re: Gaining control - SI

Post by onyx » Fri Dec 03, 2010 1:07 am

some times music helps bring me back to myself.
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Re: Gaining control - SI

Post by Licentia Poetica » Thu Dec 09, 2010 1:01 pm

Have you ever tried some relaxation or grounding techniques? When you feel really out of control it can help to stop, sit down and remind yourself of your surroundings. Smells, sounds, the touch of the bed under you - small things like that. There's more on grounding here.

Breathing is a big one. I wrote some stuff on breathing here.

There's also whole lot of ways to cope here.

Lastly, you have to remember that feelings themselves cannot hurt you. So as long as you can safely sit through the feelings, they will eventually pass.
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Re: Gaining control - SI

Post by flyingturtle » Mon Dec 13, 2010 5:21 am

I usually text a friend of mine, but I know we don't all have those/are not always willing to talk about things. I'm also a music person. I sometimes play guitar or even just listen to some music. I bake sometimes... If it's really late at night, I'll just write until whatever is inside my head is out on paper. It kind of works as a transfer of energy, I suppose. :)
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Re: Gaining control - SI

Post by becky-marie » Thu Jan 20, 2011 3:03 pm

This is my question too. I think my biggest problem is learning to deal with the fact that I can't always be in control.

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Re: Gaining control - SI

Post by disastercake » Sun Feb 20, 2011 9:29 am

The grounding techniques really helped me, or going someplace in public for a while
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Re: Gaining control - SI

Post by treasure » Mon Feb 21, 2011 4:23 am

apart from breathing and grounding techniques which are *really* important, i usually feel more in control if i write a list. something like housework is currently making me feel out-of-control cos i have to do a lot and feel like i can't, and feel heaps of pressure to it but that means more anxiety and avoidance. so a list of the chores i have to do, with maybe an entry for "take a break", "listen to music" etc, will definitely make it easier to do what i need to and be in control of the anxiety that's messing it all up.
you can write lists of coping skills or worries you have or whatever.
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Re: Gaining control - SI

Post by Descent » Tue Feb 22, 2011 1:34 am

This may sound odd, but if you close your eyes and take five deep breaths, you feel refreshed when you open your eyes again and you can make clearer decisions.
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