last time i wanted to si, i didn't because.......
- Stefani140
- just plain inspiring
- Posts: 7186
- Joined: Thu Sep 04, 2008 7:04 pm
- Gender: F
- Location: Chandler, AZ. age:29
- Contact:
Re: last time i wanted to si, i didn't because.......
initially because I didn't have a proper bandage. but then because I knew I'd have less to hide or feel guilty about if I just cried instead.
"Even if you're the lone voice in the wilderness, it does not mean you're wrong."
PMs, comments, challenges, advice and hugs welcome.
My Place: http://buslist.org/phpBB/viewtopic.php?t=128060
PMs, comments, challenges, advice and hugs welcome.
My Place: http://buslist.org/phpBB/viewtopic.php?t=128060
- capricorn
- awe-inspiring
- Posts: 6410
- Joined: Sun Jan 03, 2010 10:21 pm
- Gender: Female
- Location: London, UK
- Contact:
Re: last time i wanted to si, i didn't because.......
Because I'm nearly at two years ... and I talked to J and she challenged me to make it 3. Best. Reaction. Ever.
Because God is with me. And I don't need to.
Because God is with me. And I don't need to.
~Capri
xoxo
"Awake and unafraid."
My Chemical Romance
"I am haunted by humans."
The Book Thief
"Been trying hard not to get into trouble, but I've got a war in my mind."
Lana Del Rey
"It's always darkest just before the dawn. So stay awake with me. Let's prove them wrong."
Rise Against
"I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain."
Dune
xoxo
"Awake and unafraid."
My Chemical Romance
"I am haunted by humans."
The Book Thief
"Been trying hard not to get into trouble, but I've got a war in my mind."
Lana Del Rey
"It's always darkest just before the dawn. So stay awake with me. Let's prove them wrong."
Rise Against
"I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain."
Dune
-
- unpacking boxes
- Posts: 41
- Joined: Mon May 03, 2010 3:16 pm
- Gender: F
Re: last time i wanted to si, i didn't because.......
Because I had no access to anything, and also because I distracted myself by reading old texts.
- stripysocks4christ
- awe-inspiring
- Posts: 6605
- Joined: Tue Jan 13, 2009 6:45 pm
- Gender: female :)
- Location: inside my head
Re: last time i wanted to si, i didn't because.......
because im nearly at one month free, and i want to badly to be free from this. it simply wasnt worth it...
"Good friends lift you up when your wings forget to fly"
"Let Go and Let God"
"God will never let us fall without a plan on how to save us"
"For I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength" – Philippians 4:13
"I only lied so I didn't have to see the tears of disappointment in your eyes"
"I don't want the world to see me, cos I don't think that they'd understand..."
xx Kitti xx
my place
my poems
- Chaocontrol6
- forum moderator emeritus
- Posts: 7168
- Joined: Mon Oct 08, 2007 9:50 pm
- Gender: Male
- Location: England, Aged 21
Re: last time i wanted to si, i didn't because.......
I am better than that, and my body has gone through enough torture without adding more to it. Better to let the emotions flow properly, I am learning that VERY slowly.
Jason
Jason
H.A.L.T!!! (Genius!!)
These feelings too, shall pass. (BUS phrase?)
The power lives in me!(Place)
-
- bus mechanic
- Posts: 3422
- Joined: Thu Jun 19, 2008 7:47 pm
- Gender: female
- Location: my mind
- Contact:
Re: last time i wanted to si, i didn't because.......
i knew it would hurt dad and i couldnt live with the guilt
PBH, Telling my parents, My place - All welcome [hugs, stars, challenges, questions are all ok
In the end, it doesnt matter where you have been or who you were,
it only matters who you want to be and where you want to end up.
[Working Towards Recovery]
*I can do all things through christ who strengthens me, Philippians 4:13*
In the end, it doesnt matter where you have been or who you were,
it only matters who you want to be and where you want to end up.
[Working Towards Recovery]
*I can do all things through christ who strengthens me, Philippians 4:13*
- 5th section
- just plain inspiring
- Posts: 7753
- Joined: Tue Sep 19, 2006 8:06 pm
- Gender: Male
- Location: if rain makes Britain great then Manchester is greater
- Contact:
Re: last time i wanted to si, i didn't because.......
I told K that I would make it to the end of 2010...so I have to now....
...then one day I realised that the people you see in waiting rooms and car parks and on trains are really far more interesting. That they all have whole novels inside them, a fabric of scar tissues, photos and memories. They are comedies and tragedies and - more often - both at the same time.
- Anna James (1984-2007)
son of ultimate starshine / brother of Eisa & Sprink / Birdie's ornithologist / married to Mande / Chey's uncle
- my place
- my band (or more accurately, the band of which I am the bassist) some SI/SU triggers in lyrics...proceed with caution...
GOING STRAIGHT SINCE 1ST DECEMBER 2009
- Anna James (1984-2007)
son of ultimate starshine / brother of Eisa & Sprink / Birdie's ornithologist / married to Mande / Chey's uncle
- my place
- my band (or more accurately, the band of which I am the bassist) some SI/SU triggers in lyrics...proceed with caution...
GOING STRAIGHT SINCE 1ST DECEMBER 2009
Re: last time i wanted to si, i didn't because.......
i can do this.. i can do this... i can do this!
♥ "You're not a bad person. You're a very good person, who bad things have happened to. Besides, the world isn't split into good people and Death Eaters. We've all got both light and dark inside us. What matters is the part we choose to act on. That's who we really are." ♥
♥ "My thoughts are stars I can't fathom into constellations." ♥
♥ "I lit up like a Christmas tree, Hazel Grace." ♥
♥ "Things haven't always been this bad, therefore, things won't always be this bad." ♥
My Place
My Efforts At Being Healthy
My Bus Butterfly Obsession
♥ DFTBA ♥
- stripysocks4christ
- awe-inspiring
- Posts: 6605
- Joined: Tue Jan 13, 2009 6:45 pm
- Gender: female :)
- Location: inside my head
Re: last time i wanted to si, i didn't because.......
i couldnt cos i didnt have my tools with me.
"Good friends lift you up when your wings forget to fly"
"Let Go and Let God"
"God will never let us fall without a plan on how to save us"
"For I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength" – Philippians 4:13
"I only lied so I didn't have to see the tears of disappointment in your eyes"
"I don't want the world to see me, cos I don't think that they'd understand..."
xx Kitti xx
my place
my poems
- capricorn
- awe-inspiring
- Posts: 6410
- Joined: Sun Jan 03, 2010 10:21 pm
- Gender: Female
- Location: London, UK
- Contact:
Re: last time i wanted to si, i didn't because.......
...because I'll hate myself tomorrow if I do
because God is with me and I don't need to
because it hurts me so bad when R does it and I don't want to hurt her the same way
because I said I'd make 3 years
because God is with me and I don't need to
because it hurts me so bad when R does it and I don't want to hurt her the same way
because I said I'd make 3 years
~Capri
xoxo
"Awake and unafraid."
My Chemical Romance
"I am haunted by humans."
The Book Thief
"Been trying hard not to get into trouble, but I've got a war in my mind."
Lana Del Rey
"It's always darkest just before the dawn. So stay awake with me. Let's prove them wrong."
Rise Against
"I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain."
Dune
xoxo
"Awake and unafraid."
My Chemical Romance
"I am haunted by humans."
The Book Thief
"Been trying hard not to get into trouble, but I've got a war in my mind."
Lana Del Rey
"It's always darkest just before the dawn. So stay awake with me. Let's prove them wrong."
Rise Against
"I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain."
Dune
- stripysocks4christ
- awe-inspiring
- Posts: 6605
- Joined: Tue Jan 13, 2009 6:45 pm
- Gender: female :)
- Location: inside my head
Re: last time i wanted to si, i didn't because.......
A reminded me of how far ive come in the past few months.. i dont want to go back downhill again. i know that i dont need to SI to be happy.
"Good friends lift you up when your wings forget to fly"
"Let Go and Let God"
"God will never let us fall without a plan on how to save us"
"For I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength" – Philippians 4:13
"I only lied so I didn't have to see the tears of disappointment in your eyes"
"I don't want the world to see me, cos I don't think that they'd understand..."
xx Kitti xx
my place
my poems
- strmdncr
- forum moderator emeritus
- Posts: 11928
- Joined: Tue Mar 30, 2004 5:34 am
- Gender: Genderfluid
- Location: lost in the wilderness of my mind
Re: last time i wanted to si, i didn't because.......
i don't want to feel like i have failed someone who has helped me get this far with being si free
A friend is someone who believes in you even when you've ceased to believe in yourself. (unknown)
strmdncr's sanctuary
strmdncr speaks
strmdncr's sanctuary
strmdncr speaks
-
- board admin emeritus
- Posts: 7467
- Joined: Tue Nov 20, 2001 1:00 am
Re: last time i wanted to si, i didn't because.......
Becos I could identify where the feeling was in my body.
Becos I listened what the urge was trying to say.
Becos I did art to express it instead.
Becos I listened what the urge was trying to say.
Becos I did art to express it instead.
- capricorn
- awe-inspiring
- Posts: 6410
- Joined: Sun Jan 03, 2010 10:21 pm
- Gender: Female
- Location: London, UK
- Contact:
Re: last time i wanted to si, i didn't because.......
it would only have made things worse
~Capri
xoxo
"Awake and unafraid."
My Chemical Romance
"I am haunted by humans."
The Book Thief
"Been trying hard not to get into trouble, but I've got a war in my mind."
Lana Del Rey
"It's always darkest just before the dawn. So stay awake with me. Let's prove them wrong."
Rise Against
"I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain."
Dune
xoxo
"Awake and unafraid."
My Chemical Romance
"I am haunted by humans."
The Book Thief
"Been trying hard not to get into trouble, but I've got a war in my mind."
Lana Del Rey
"It's always darkest just before the dawn. So stay awake with me. Let's prove them wrong."
Rise Against
"I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain."
Dune
- SplinteredGirl
- sock rocker
- Posts: 3844
- Joined: Thu Apr 26, 2007 11:11 pm
- Gender: female
- Location: Vancouver
Re: last time i wanted to si, i didn't because.......
i started counting my scars and lost track. i thought about my boyfriends reaction and disapointment. i realized there wasnt really any "room" anyways.
- Twilight
- meeting the neighbors
- Posts: 493
- Joined: Mon Mar 10, 2008 11:28 pm
- Gender: Female
- Location: take a left at the next lifetime
Re: last time i wanted to si, i didn't because.......
last time i wanted to si i didn't because my scars are almost all gone except for the last cause it was the worse so it reminds me of everything i almost lost because it.
Always say "see you later" never goodbye because goodbye is forever
Just gonna stand there and watch me burn
But that's alright because I like the way it hurts
Just gonna stand there and hear me cry
But that's alright because I love the way you lie
my place come talk to me
Its no big deal. Break her heart. Let her down.
Make her cry. You love her right? Everything
is fine. Hold her hand. Lead her on. Its no big
deal. She's just a girl.
- Twilight
- meeting the neighbors
- Posts: 493
- Joined: Mon Mar 10, 2008 11:28 pm
- Gender: Female
- Location: take a left at the next lifetime
Re: last time i wanted to si, i didn't because.......
last time i wanted to si i didn't because my scars are almost all gone except for the last cause it was the worse so it reminds me of everything i almost lost because it.
Always say "see you later" never goodbye because goodbye is forever
Just gonna stand there and watch me burn
But that's alright because I like the way it hurts
Just gonna stand there and hear me cry
But that's alright because I love the way you lie
my place come talk to me
Its no big deal. Break her heart. Let her down.
Make her cry. You love her right? Everything
is fine. Hold her hand. Lead her on. Its no big
deal. She's just a girl.
Re: last time i wanted to si, i didn't because.......
*rel
because I'm worth more than si, because God created me, I want my body to be a temple fo God, and I have no right to do that to my body. because i can do this without si, and i dont need si holding me back.
because I'm worth more than si, because God created me, I want my body to be a temple fo God, and I have no right to do that to my body. because i can do this without si, and i dont need si holding me back.
♥ "You're not a bad person. You're a very good person, who bad things have happened to. Besides, the world isn't split into good people and Death Eaters. We've all got both light and dark inside us. What matters is the part we choose to act on. That's who we really are." ♥
♥ "My thoughts are stars I can't fathom into constellations." ♥
♥ "I lit up like a Christmas tree, Hazel Grace." ♥
♥ "Things haven't always been this bad, therefore, things won't always be this bad." ♥
My Place
My Efforts At Being Healthy
My Bus Butterfly Obsession
♥ DFTBA ♥
Re: last time i wanted to si, i didn't because.......
Because after last time I said I never would again. And I meant it.
<center>
<b>FISHY! WHY ARE YOU SLEEPING?!</b>
~"What could I say to you that would be of value, except that perhaps you seek too much, that as a result of your seeking you cannot find."~
Another Lonely Day
~~Laura~~
</center>
<b>FISHY! WHY ARE YOU SLEEPING?!</b>
~"What could I say to you that would be of value, except that perhaps you seek too much, that as a result of your seeking you cannot find."~
Another Lonely Day
~~Laura~~
</center>
- Butterfly.
- forum moderator - the nest & welcome wagon
- Posts: 4322
- Joined: Sat Apr 03, 2010 3:45 pm
- Gender: Female
- Location: Australia
Re: last time i wanted to si, i didn't because.......
Because I want to prove to myself I'm strong enough
Who is online
Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 8 guests