Things Left Unsaid *LA*
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stripysocks4christ
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Re: Things Left Unsaid *LA*
d - thank you. im pretty sure you know i SI.. your clever, and i dont hide it very well.. but i want to say thank you for not making a fuss about it.. thank you for not confronting me. thank you for trusting me that i would come to you if i needed you. thank you for still loving me. you have seen the scars. yet you havnt asked me about it. youve let me do my own thing. and i appriciate that. im so grateful. i just really want to say thank you. xx
"Good friends lift you up when your wings forget to fly"
"Let Go and Let God"
"God will never let us fall without a plan on how to save us"
"For I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength" – Philippians 4:13
"I only lied so I didn't have to see the tears of disappointment in your eyes"
"I don't want the world to see me, cos I don't think that they'd understand..."
xx Kitti xx
my place
my poems
Re: Things Left Unsaid *LA*
It's not that I don't want to call you or don't need anything from you.
It's that calling to ask for a hug just sounds stupid.
It's that calling to ask for a hug just sounds stupid.
Eisa = Beasty's Twin
Beasty's Place!
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Butterfly.
- forum moderator - the nest & welcome wagon
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Re: Things Left Unsaid *LA*
M - It really hurt that you went off with that guy at my party. We were there to celebrate and you just buggered off while I had gone off to get a drink. I didn't let it show because I didn't want to ruin my own night. It hurt, threw me and almost undid me. Luckily I still had a good night, despite that hurting.
R - Thank you. You made my night. And made me feel emotions/think things I didn't know I could feel/think. I hope that I get to see more of you.
R - Thank you. You made my night. And made me feel emotions/think things I didn't know I could feel/think. I hope that I get to see more of you.
Re: Things Left Unsaid *LA*
You, mate, are a fucking dickhead. I did not ruin your life. I am not your past. Do not write about me on fucking Facebook. All your loser friends who have never met me who feel they are qualified to comment on my perosnality and actions can go to hell. They only know your side of the story which is a twisted, made up, fantasy side. If they knew what had really gone on which was nothing they would realise what a freak you were. How dare you make me miss out on my two best friends' birthdays and parties for years just becuase you couldn't handle being around me. After four years you could at least act civil around me and my husband and not like the total weirdo that you obviously are. It REALLY pisses me off that you behave like an ex when we were barely even friends and nothing happened so STOP telling people otherwise. YOU FUCKING FREAK. I don't trust you an inch. It wouldn't suprise me if one day you snapped and really hurt someone. I can't tell anyone that but it scares me stupid. I hate you.
"She would never know, because he would never tell her. Somehow if she’d known the worst parts, she couldn’t have gone on being a haven for him… He needed her ignorance to hide in. Yet at the same time, he wanted to know and be known as deeply as possible. And the two desires were irreconcilable"
From Regeneration by Pat Barker
From Regeneration by Pat Barker
Re: Things Left Unsaid *LA*
Please don't contact me on my birthday. You know it will just bring pain not happiness so don't bother. It can be just as lonely as all the others.
Sometimes I read other messages hoping there from you, just as I wish you'd understand that if you want me then fight for me just like I fought for you. If I don't answer keep messaging even if it's just hi or asking how I am doing and saying how you are and maybe then you will see some wore back.
You don't know even though you think you do why I am not talking so don't say you do. Reach deep and if I am still there then fight even if it isn't for now if you want it for the future start fighting now.
Everyday I fight myself not to text or to call because I miss that contact but I fought so long for something that wasn't real...B it was real for menall that time I was so ready for more I loved you so much and the pain is like a fresh wound that needs a long time to heal so don't expect a friend especially when you choose to be distant I know you will fight me on many points but you need to show your heart is still there fight for just talking while I want more and I fight myself not just give in to the woman I still love even though she has fallen out of love with me as she so stated. I want her to fight if it was real for her to show me all that time it just wasn't manipulation and she did and does still really care for me as more than just a friend even if all we do is play friends.
Sometimes I read other messages hoping there from you, just as I wish you'd understand that if you want me then fight for me just like I fought for you. If I don't answer keep messaging even if it's just hi or asking how I am doing and saying how you are and maybe then you will see some wore back.
You don't know even though you think you do why I am not talking so don't say you do. Reach deep and if I am still there then fight even if it isn't for now if you want it for the future start fighting now.
Everyday I fight myself not to text or to call because I miss that contact but I fought so long for something that wasn't real...B it was real for menall that time I was so ready for more I loved you so much and the pain is like a fresh wound that needs a long time to heal so don't expect a friend especially when you choose to be distant I know you will fight me on many points but you need to show your heart is still there fight for just talking while I want more and I fight myself not just give in to the woman I still love even though she has fallen out of love with me as she so stated. I want her to fight if it was real for her to show me all that time it just wasn't manipulation and she did and does still really care for me as more than just a friend even if all we do is play friends.
"When it is dark enough, you can see the stars.”
Charles Austin Beard
"It is always darkest before the dawn."
Proverb
"The question is not whether we will die, but how we will live."
Joan Borysenko
Charles Austin Beard
"It is always darkest before the dawn."
Proverb
"The question is not whether we will die, but how we will live."
Joan Borysenko
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mande
- forum moderator - life after & place
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Re: Things Left Unsaid *LA*
I love you so much that it aches my heart.
I don't know what I'd do if I found you dead on the bathroom floor.
I don't know what I'd do if I found you dead on the bathroom floor.
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nomdeplume
- creating your space
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- Joined: Sat Jun 27, 2009 11:39 pm
Re: Things Left Unsaid *LA*
I don't totally trust that you won't ever read this. Anyway, I don't like how you ditch me when you're sick. I think you fake half the time so you don't have to do shit. I feel like I am 90% a single parent. I think you are Mr. Poopypants but we are married and I respect you? Sheesh. And clean out the gorram effing shower drain like you said you would. It's not like you have a billion chores...because I do everything.
You've got coconuts!
Re: Things Left Unsaid *LA*
Are you just entirely grossed out? Say something. (Recognise that phrasing of that email was the closest thing I can come to saying I NEED HELP)
Eisa = Beasty's Twin
Beasty's Place!
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mande
- forum moderator - life after & place
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Re: Things Left Unsaid *LA*
1. I am so fucking glad that I truly don't care about your opinion anymore. I see the way you speak to people you used to be close with on Facebook and the nasty things you say - what the hell is wrong with you? And seriously - stop being such a condescending bitch. Do you want a cookie for going for your masters? I wished my parents paid for everything too. Too bad they lost their house and have to live with my sister.
Oh, and by the by, the constant status updates about B? He's not even on Facebook. They're such cute attempts at making me jealous but I got over him years ago sweet pea.
2. I understand that it's hard having them there. But they're our family and I'd take them in if I could. I have to be the sounding board for both sides and it's so frustrating - I'm doing my best to get you guys to understand each other. You all make it a pain in the ass!
3. Ahahahah. AHAHAHAHA. I can't believe you kicked another bridesmaid off your bridal party. You're such a bridezilla I'm seriously glad I got kicked off the bridal party and when I get an invite, I am waiting until 11:59 the night before the RSVP date to say anything, just to drive you batty.
Oh, and by the by, the constant status updates about B? He's not even on Facebook. They're such cute attempts at making me jealous but I got over him years ago sweet pea.
2. I understand that it's hard having them there. But they're our family and I'd take them in if I could. I have to be the sounding board for both sides and it's so frustrating - I'm doing my best to get you guys to understand each other. You all make it a pain in the ass!
3. Ahahahah. AHAHAHAHA. I can't believe you kicked another bridesmaid off your bridal party. You're such a bridezilla I'm seriously glad I got kicked off the bridal party and when I get an invite, I am waiting until 11:59 the night before the RSVP date to say anything, just to drive you batty.
Re: Things Left Unsaid *LA*
I'm not going to let your stupid actions affect my eating.
Re: Things Left Unsaid *LA*
I can barely write that email because I don't care about you. But you're the only stability that I have had in my life, really. If I hadn't already been seen by mental health professionals for so many years, I would go talk to someone about this. But I feel like it's too late, and what good is a new diagnosis going to do for me?
I am basically incapable of loving, and that sounds fake and wrong, but it has to do with personality dynamics and such. I didn't choose to be this way, it just kind of happened, after years of trying to the contrary. I've got so much time left on earth, and if I can't figure this out, than I don't know how I'm supposed to live my life. There are turns that I have made at certain parts of my life that have made it worse.
I really don't know what I should do to fix this. I know that some of it has to do with seeking acknowledgement from authority figures. I have a 'look how smart I am' tendency- I feel embarrassed when I open my mouth. My orientation to my own intelligence is fucked. No challenge in my life growing up, so no study skills now. Lots of self-teaching but low compliance learning course material. Articulate, but bad social skills and lack of respect for authority.
I really don't know how I would fix this. I obviously know that there is a problem, know that it's an ugly one... The actual circumstances of my life are confusing... but it's too late for things to have been different.
I am basically incapable of loving, and that sounds fake and wrong, but it has to do with personality dynamics and such. I didn't choose to be this way, it just kind of happened, after years of trying to the contrary. I've got so much time left on earth, and if I can't figure this out, than I don't know how I'm supposed to live my life. There are turns that I have made at certain parts of my life that have made it worse.
I really don't know what I should do to fix this. I know that some of it has to do with seeking acknowledgement from authority figures. I have a 'look how smart I am' tendency- I feel embarrassed when I open my mouth. My orientation to my own intelligence is fucked. No challenge in my life growing up, so no study skills now. Lots of self-teaching but low compliance learning course material. Articulate, but bad social skills and lack of respect for authority.
I really don't know how I would fix this. I obviously know that there is a problem, know that it's an ugly one... The actual circumstances of my life are confusing... but it's too late for things to have been different.
"What we see is not reality in itself, but reality exposed to our method of questioning." Werner Heisenberg, 1901
"It went wrong.
But you are still here.
So it went right, too."
~Nisi
___workshop__[/center]Re: Things Left Unsaid *LA*
What if a dragon had only one more flight?
What would he see during his flight?
What if a penguin had only one more sound?
What would he say?
And what if a unicorn had only one more chance?
What would she do with that one last chance?
1. That dragon has but only one place that it can ever imagine seeing and that is where he first met his unicorn.
2. Penguins can make many sounds but this penguin would make the sound that he knows best and would squeak in his language that he still loves you.
3 and finally if a unicorn had one more chance this penguin in dragons clothes would open his arms and let her back in just like nothing ever was wrong for he still loves her more than the world itself.
What would he see during his flight?
What if a penguin had only one more sound?
What would he say?
And what if a unicorn had only one more chance?
What would she do with that one last chance?
1. That dragon has but only one place that it can ever imagine seeing and that is where he first met his unicorn.
2. Penguins can make many sounds but this penguin would make the sound that he knows best and would squeak in his language that he still loves you.
3 and finally if a unicorn had one more chance this penguin in dragons clothes would open his arms and let her back in just like nothing ever was wrong for he still loves her more than the world itself.
"When it is dark enough, you can see the stars.”
Charles Austin Beard
"It is always darkest before the dawn."
Proverb
"The question is not whether we will die, but how we will live."
Joan Borysenko
Charles Austin Beard
"It is always darkest before the dawn."
Proverb
"The question is not whether we will die, but how we will live."
Joan Borysenko
Re: Things Left Unsaid *LA*
I don't care.
Re: Things Left Unsaid *LA*
What the hell. Did you even realise what you where saying?? Way to fuck it up. I was sure you'd gather me up into a hug, a good one... something.
And you. Please for gods sakes.
And to my group today. All of you suck balls. Athena's helm was the most important iconographic symbol she possessed. Her helm, her spear, and her olive branch. And you were to goddamn embarrassed. What the hell.
And you. Please for gods sakes.
And to my group today. All of you suck balls. Athena's helm was the most important iconographic symbol she possessed. Her helm, her spear, and her olive branch. And you were to goddamn embarrassed. What the hell.
Eisa = Beasty's Twin
Beasty's Place!
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Stawberry_Lollipops
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Re: Things Left Unsaid *LA*
I'm not stupid. I know, that really you don't want me there. You just have to invite me because it would be rude not to.
* ~ * ~ * ~ *
“There is no use trying,” said Alice; “One can’t believe impossible things!”
“I dare say you haven’t had much practise,” said the Queen. “When I was your age, I always did it for half an hour a day
Why, sometimes I’ve believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast.” - Lewis Carroll
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capricorn
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Re: Things Left Unsaid *LA*
I'm sorry I can't be better at this for you. I'm sorry. We're not all as confident and outgoing and gregarious and brave as you. I just. Ah. Can't. Sorry.
~Capri
xoxo
"Awake and unafraid."
My Chemical Romance
"I am haunted by humans."
The Book Thief
"Been trying hard not to get into trouble, but I've got a war in my mind."
Lana Del Rey
"It's always darkest just before the dawn. So stay awake with me. Let's prove them wrong."
Rise Against
"I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain."
Dune
xoxo
"Awake and unafraid."
My Chemical Romance
"I am haunted by humans."
The Book Thief
"Been trying hard not to get into trouble, but I've got a war in my mind."
Lana Del Rey
"It's always darkest just before the dawn. So stay awake with me. Let's prove them wrong."
Rise Against
"I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain."
Dune
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capricorn
- awe-inspiring
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- Joined: Sun Jan 03, 2010 10:21 pm
- Gender: Female
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- Contact:
Re: Things Left Unsaid *LA*
Maybe one day you will realise you don't have it anywhere near as bad as you think you do.
Maybe you will realise you aren't the only one to suffer.
That you have no idea what it's like to be in a truly bad relationship.
Or not have a social life.
Or hate people enough that you plan how you'd get hold of a gun.
Or just. Have your life really fall apart, even a little.
Maybe one day you'll wake up and realise that you can't just talk about yourself and expect people to be interested.
That one-upping everyone's experiences ... when they say "oh I was so thrilled to be near the front for xyz band" for you to say "oh I saw them loads of times and I was on the barrier and got their autographs" ... is not gonna make anyone feel good, or whatever.
I love you and you can be so kind and caring.
I just wish you would ... appreciate what it is you have.
Your generous family and your job and your confidence and your looks and your social life and your mind that doesn't tell you to die.
Maybe you will realise you aren't the only one to suffer.
That you have no idea what it's like to be in a truly bad relationship.
Or not have a social life.
Or hate people enough that you plan how you'd get hold of a gun.
Or just. Have your life really fall apart, even a little.
Maybe one day you'll wake up and realise that you can't just talk about yourself and expect people to be interested.
That one-upping everyone's experiences ... when they say "oh I was so thrilled to be near the front for xyz band" for you to say "oh I saw them loads of times and I was on the barrier and got their autographs" ... is not gonna make anyone feel good, or whatever.
I love you and you can be so kind and caring.
I just wish you would ... appreciate what it is you have.
Your generous family and your job and your confidence and your looks and your social life and your mind that doesn't tell you to die.
~Capri
xoxo
"Awake and unafraid."
My Chemical Romance
"I am haunted by humans."
The Book Thief
"Been trying hard not to get into trouble, but I've got a war in my mind."
Lana Del Rey
"It's always darkest just before the dawn. So stay awake with me. Let's prove them wrong."
Rise Against
"I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain."
Dune
xoxo
"Awake and unafraid."
My Chemical Romance
"I am haunted by humans."
The Book Thief
"Been trying hard not to get into trouble, but I've got a war in my mind."
Lana Del Rey
"It's always darkest just before the dawn. So stay awake with me. Let's prove them wrong."
Rise Against
"I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain."
Dune
Re: Things Left Unsaid *LA*
i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die 
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capricorn
- awe-inspiring
- Posts: 6410
- Joined: Sun Jan 03, 2010 10:21 pm
- Gender: Female
- Location: London, UK
- Contact:
Re: Things Left Unsaid *LA*
^ 
You make me feel kinda ... attacked.
I'm sorry for being difficult
You make me feel kinda ... attacked.
I'm sorry for being difficult
~Capri
xoxo
"Awake and unafraid."
My Chemical Romance
"I am haunted by humans."
The Book Thief
"Been trying hard not to get into trouble, but I've got a war in my mind."
Lana Del Rey
"It's always darkest just before the dawn. So stay awake with me. Let's prove them wrong."
Rise Against
"I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain."
Dune
xoxo
"Awake and unafraid."
My Chemical Romance
"I am haunted by humans."
The Book Thief
"Been trying hard not to get into trouble, but I've got a war in my mind."
Lana Del Rey
"It's always darkest just before the dawn. So stay awake with me. Let's prove them wrong."
Rise Against
"I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain."
Dune
Re: Things Left Unsaid *LA*
i'm a broken record.amyfairy wrote:i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die
i hate myself. i am a worthless fat failure. i wish i could pass out right this second.
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