Things Left Unsaid *LA*

tips on how to cope: dealing with your feelings, dealing with the consequences of self-harm in your life. share your ideas and maybe pick up some new skills, too. you don't have to want to stop to learn something new here.

Moderators: Spidey, noldo

Locked
User avatar
dejavu0225
bus addict
bus addict
Posts: 2807
Joined: Wed Mar 17, 2004 4:44 am
Gender: havent looked lately
Location: just a drop of water in an endless sea

Re: Things Left Unsaid *LA*

Post by dejavu0225 » Sat May 01, 2010 5:54 pm

My parents are in their 80's and I STILL have issues with them. I think my sister told them to back off and quit trying to fix me, I'm grateful for that. But I still don't want to visit them. To formal, sterile...what a bummer to be 55 and not be able to enjoy their golden years.
Now don't hang on, nothing lasts forever but the earth and sky.
It slips away and all your money won't another minute buy.
Dust in the wind. All we are is dust in the wind. -Kansas

strider 151
bus mechanic
bus mechanic
Posts: 3422
Joined: Thu Jun 19, 2008 7:47 pm
Gender: female
Location: my mind
Contact:

Re: Things Left Unsaid *LA*

Post by strider 151 » Sat May 01, 2010 11:14 pm

by talking to you im hurting, but i like it
PBH, Telling my parents, My place - All welcome [hugs, stars, challenges, questions are all ok :gooddeal: :Fade-color

In the end, it doesnt matter where you have been or who you were,
it only matters who you want to be and where you want to end up.


:pangel: [Working Towards Recovery] :pangel:
*I can do all things through christ who strengthens me, Philippians 4:13*

User avatar
volta
being the change
being the change
Posts: 12338
Joined: Tue Mar 20, 2007 4:27 am

Re: Things Left Unsaid *LA*

Post by volta » Sun May 02, 2010 2:03 am

no.
don't leave me.
don't freaking leave me.
you're the only one i have here who understands what this is like.
please, don't leave.

i know my pleading won't do any good.
you're going back to norway, and there's nothing i can do about it.
i just wish that you weren't so damned happy about it.

User avatar
Butterfly.
forum moderator - the nest & welcome wagon
forum moderator - the nest & welcome wagon
Posts: 4322
Joined: Sat Apr 03, 2010 3:45 pm
Gender: Female
Location: Australia

Re: Things Left Unsaid *LA*

Post by Butterfly. » Sun May 02, 2010 4:37 pm

Thank you. Thank you for realising what I needed most (even if it took you what felt like forever), and putting up with me. I wish I could be better, and stronger, for you, to show you.
We're all stories in the end.

Birdie is my pet birdie.

strider 151
bus mechanic
bus mechanic
Posts: 3422
Joined: Thu Jun 19, 2008 7:47 pm
Gender: female
Location: my mind
Contact:

Re: Things Left Unsaid *LA*

Post by strider 151 » Sun May 02, 2010 11:21 pm

J ur so much like A it physically hurts when i look and talk to you
PBH, Telling my parents, My place - All welcome [hugs, stars, challenges, questions are all ok :gooddeal: :Fade-color

In the end, it doesnt matter where you have been or who you were,
it only matters who you want to be and where you want to end up.


:pangel: [Working Towards Recovery] :pangel:
*I can do all things through christ who strengthens me, Philippians 4:13*

User avatar
Helba
meeting the neighbors
meeting the neighbors
Posts: 490
Joined: Mon May 14, 2007 3:23 am
Contact:

Re: Things Left Unsaid *LA*

Post by Helba » Mon May 03, 2010 10:13 am

B,
I've always loved you since the first time we met.
I couldn't have imagined how close I would grow to you.
Nor would I ever have imagined things would have happened like this.
I know your not there for me anymore,
because you've moved on.
Just know that I have always loved, and regardless of my choices I will always love you.
"When it is dark enough, you can see the stars.”
Charles Austin Beard
"It is always darkest before the dawn."
Proverb
"The question is not whether we will die, but how we will live."
Joan Borysenko

User avatar
trewheather3
one of us
one of us
Posts: 9
Joined: Tue May 04, 2010 4:36 am
Gender: Female
Contact:

Re: Things Left Unsaid *LA*

Post by trewheather3 » Tue May 04, 2010 5:23 am

M.

Look. I do have a problem. No, im not looking for attention. Maybe, just maybe part of this is because of the two of you. Hmmm.. couldn't be. Youre too good. You do everything. Ya, everything for you.

strider 151
bus mechanic
bus mechanic
Posts: 3422
Joined: Thu Jun 19, 2008 7:47 pm
Gender: female
Location: my mind
Contact:

Re: Things Left Unsaid *LA*

Post by strider 151 » Tue May 04, 2010 8:46 pm

that hurt.


i dont know why, but it hurt. alot.

why should your rejection hurt me? you where the one who liked me, you where the one who 'fell in love'. i never tryed to make u like me, i wss just myself. you where the one who said all those things, promised all those promises and wrote all those love messages. and then u break up with me when we aren't even going out??? wtf???


so why did it hurt so much?
PBH, Telling my parents, My place - All welcome [hugs, stars, challenges, questions are all ok :gooddeal: :Fade-color

In the end, it doesnt matter where you have been or who you were,
it only matters who you want to be and where you want to end up.


:pangel: [Working Towards Recovery] :pangel:
*I can do all things through christ who strengthens me, Philippians 4:13*

User avatar
MusicalMorphine
growing roots
growing roots
Posts: 819
Joined: Wed Jul 19, 2006 5:51 pm
Gender: Female
Location: Hastings, England

Re: Things Left Unsaid *LA*

Post by MusicalMorphine » Wed May 05, 2010 10:14 pm

What is going on? We used to talk every day like good friends do, i spent 2 days with you recently and we've barely spoken since. You haven't said anything to me when i've been having a rough few days lately. This wasn't how it was meant to work out.

User avatar
5th section
just plain inspiring
just plain inspiring
Posts: 7753
Joined: Tue Sep 19, 2006 8:06 pm
Gender: Male
Location: if rain makes Britain great then Manchester is greater
Contact:

Re: Things Left Unsaid *LA*

Post by 5th section » Mon May 10, 2010 1:08 am

...
...then one day I realised that the people you see in waiting rooms and car parks and on trains are really far more interesting. That they all have whole novels inside them, a fabric of scar tissues, photos and memories. They are comedies and tragedies and - more often - both at the same time.
- Anna James (1984-2007)

son of ultimate starshine / brother of Eisa & Sprink / Birdie's ornithologist / married to Mande / Chey's uncle
- my place
- my band (or more accurately, the band of which I am the bassist) some SI/SU triggers in lyrics...proceed with caution...

GOING STRAIGHT SINCE 1ST DECEMBER 2009

User avatar
5th section
just plain inspiring
just plain inspiring
Posts: 7753
Joined: Tue Sep 19, 2006 8:06 pm
Gender: Male
Location: if rain makes Britain great then Manchester is greater
Contact:

Re: Things Left Unsaid *LA*

Post by 5th section » Mon May 10, 2010 2:06 am

3 shows? so, counting back that includes Sorcerer...


well of course I understand the situation you're in, & i know it can't be easy. but seriously, the things I said to you (you do remember that night, don't you?) were pretty unambiguous, and I wish you'd told me then that I was being stupid, rather than waiting a few months to let me find out for myself. But never mind. we are still ok aren't we? this isn't going to go where I hoped it would, but you won't hold a grudge against me for that, will you? you are probably still one of the best friends i have ever had.

anyway. good luck.

I love you
(but don't worry, I will get over it. I will. You deserve better than this. so I will.)

I love you

some people would blame you for your part in this, but I don't. I couldn't. none of this is your fault, because you have no faults.

I love you

I love you

I love you
...then one day I realised that the people you see in waiting rooms and car parks and on trains are really far more interesting. That they all have whole novels inside them, a fabric of scar tissues, photos and memories. They are comedies and tragedies and - more often - both at the same time.
- Anna James (1984-2007)

son of ultimate starshine / brother of Eisa & Sprink / Birdie's ornithologist / married to Mande / Chey's uncle
- my place
- my band (or more accurately, the band of which I am the bassist) some SI/SU triggers in lyrics...proceed with caution...

GOING STRAIGHT SINCE 1ST DECEMBER 2009

strider 151
bus mechanic
bus mechanic
Posts: 3422
Joined: Thu Jun 19, 2008 7:47 pm
Gender: female
Location: my mind
Contact:

Re: Things Left Unsaid *LA*

Post by strider 151 » Mon May 10, 2010 7:11 am

i am waiting for something that i should never have known about, hoping for something against gods will, praying that it will happen quickly even though its 100% impossible and never gonna happen....
PBH, Telling my parents, My place - All welcome [hugs, stars, challenges, questions are all ok :gooddeal: :Fade-color

In the end, it doesnt matter where you have been or who you were,
it only matters who you want to be and where you want to end up.


:pangel: [Working Towards Recovery] :pangel:
*I can do all things through christ who strengthens me, Philippians 4:13*

User avatar
ForgottenMemories
settling in
settling in
Posts: 86
Joined: Tue Apr 27, 2010 6:38 am
Gender: girly parts for me
Location: rainy west coast

Re: Things Left Unsaid *LA*

Post by ForgottenMemories » Tue May 11, 2010 6:27 am

C-I know you love me but I have to move on with my own happiness and that means not depending on you.
T-I'm moving on. You'll always be a part of me and I'll always love you but I need to let go.
A-We've been good friends for years. I loved you then and I think I love you still but I won't say it. I'm not going to mess up our friendship for something unattainable. You mean too much to me. Just stay where you are, kay?
You can have peace or you can have freedom. Don't ever count on having both at once.
There's a drive in me that won't allow me to do certain things that are easy.
This was freedom. Losing all hope was freedom.
I just don't want to die without a few scars.
One of the hardest things in life is having words in your heart that you can't utter.
War does not determine who is right, only who is left.
You've got to burn me. Make me bleed. Turn my pain into fantasy. And if I scream it's only just, love can hurt much more than lust.

User avatar
Roxi
knows the ropes
knows the ropes
Posts: 4530
Joined: Sat Sep 01, 2007 9:36 am
Gender: Female

Re: Things Left Unsaid *LA*

Post by Roxi » Wed May 12, 2010 2:24 pm

I hate that we walk past each other and don't say a word. Like we're complete strangers; I know it's been difficult for you- but YOU fucked up. You cheated on me. You couldn't handle the commitment and intensity. You couldn't deal with your insecurities that they girl who you love and who loves you back might leave you one day in the future... And I was the one who lost a best friend AND a boyfriend.

Yet despite all of this, I hate that whenever I see you around you never smile; you always have a pained expression on your face, like you're not happy. And I wish you'd smile when I see you walking or turn around in a lecture , not because you see me and feign happiness - but because you're happy. Even though you really hurt me I still care about you.
Image


Image

We are the girls with anxiety disorders, filled appointment books, five-year plans. We take ourselves very, very seriously. We are the peacemakers, the do-gooders, the givers, the savers. We are on time, overly prepared, well read, and witty, intellectually curious, always moving… We drink coffee, a lot of it. We are on birth control, Prozac, and multivitamins… We are relentless, judgmental with ourselves, and forgiving to others. We are the daughters of the feminists who said, “You can be anything,” and we heard, “You have to be everything." - Courtney Martin.

strider 151
bus mechanic
bus mechanic
Posts: 3422
Joined: Thu Jun 19, 2008 7:47 pm
Gender: female
Location: my mind
Contact:

Re: Things Left Unsaid *LA*

Post by strider 151 » Wed May 12, 2010 4:32 pm

*dnt read if u know me irl*sorry but i couldn't do it, i cant be surrounded like that.....not only is it bad for me but its unhealthy for u J and H. i know it wasn't ur fault but it still hurts. i dont wanna move cos no one else will talk to me. stay and get hurt of move and get ignored. not good options. thanks life, you runined another lesson for me. i now dread every history lesson. i'm scared of going to history, how lame is that?


I WANT AN ESCAPE DOOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
PBH, Telling my parents, My place - All welcome [hugs, stars, challenges, questions are all ok :gooddeal: :Fade-color

In the end, it doesnt matter where you have been or who you were,
it only matters who you want to be and where you want to end up.


:pangel: [Working Towards Recovery] :pangel:
*I can do all things through christ who strengthens me, Philippians 4:13*

User avatar
southsider
building community
building community
Posts: 694
Joined: Sun Nov 17, 2002 6:20 am

Re: Things Left Unsaid *LA*

Post by southsider » Wed May 12, 2010 8:39 pm

I still think I might be falling for you. And I'm scared. D:

How can I ask for what I want when "what I want" is to have every possible conversation with you? But there's not time for that. Real life gets in the way. Our other relationships get in the way.

I'm trying to be content with letting this unfold and just be what it is. But like I said, it is hard for me to trust the universe that much.
☼ 12/13/2004 ☼
☼ there is hope ☼

place

"If you really want to stay clean, you will find a way. If not, you will find an excuse."

User avatar
caged bird
board admin emeritus
board admin emeritus
Posts: 22909
Joined: Mon Jul 15, 2002 2:51 pm
Location: UK Age 24
Contact:

Re: Things Left Unsaid *LA*

Post by caged bird » Fri May 14, 2010 7:30 pm

sometimes i *really* wish you'd get off your high horse and stop acting like you know everyhting. i really thought that it'd be ok working with you but you proved me wrong. you two shouldn't spend time together becasue you're bad for each other, you get together adn you're poisonois about a system that might have some flaws but overlal does a damn good job. and your prejudices are so abvious to everyone but you. you should take a look in the mirror and start recognising how judgemental and patronising you can be. sometimes it's not about them beaing awkward or a pd, it's about you not having the right skills to deal with them. did you ever think about that, did you ever think that maybe some of the situatuons are just as much your fault as theirs.
visit my website
My Place

Being almost devastated is horrible because it lingers. But total devastation brings a kind of peace. It lets you give up.
Thieves and Kings: Volume Two by Mark Oakly

The line between normal and crazy seemed impossibly thin. A person would have to be an expert tightrope walker in order not to fall.
Running with scissors - Augusten Burroughs

User avatar
sweetelisum
building community
building community
Posts: 600
Joined: Sat Nov 30, 2002 3:45 am
Gender: Female
Location: Franklin, TN
Contact:

Re: Things Left Unsaid *LA*

Post by sweetelisum » Sat May 15, 2010 2:04 am

I actually have 4 persons in mind right now...


C- I so badly want to trust you right now. I feel guilt because of my previous actions..and yours. I love you with all of my soul, but you have to know how horrible this whole situation looks. I've been with you since I was barely 20..you were 55. That was such a hard thing for me to get over, but I did. Please don't be betraying me. I don't think I could handle much more defeat right now.

B- What can i say... 9 years and I just can't let you go. It leaves me divided and sometimes the thought of you coming back...even just to talk keeps me going when everything else is going to shit. I'll never be able to blame you nor will I ever be able to stop loving you. Maybe its best that you stay away. I'm afraid if you ever did return, I would walk away from everything I know to follow you.

S- What the fuck? Look, I understand that you are going through a hard time right now. But so am I. Its been 2 weeks and you still haven't paid me my commission check, you know I haven't paid my rent..you are supposed to be keeping me updated and nothing! Not only that, but lying to the dept of labor about my wages/taxes I have been the only consistent employee you've had over the last 3 years????seriously, what the fuck???

M- Okay, I understand that you are hurting right now, I really do. I don't want you to be homeless any more than you want to be. I offered to try and help if C agreed and if you could find some little job to help out, b/c you know I've been struggling since the flood too. But you refuse to do anything other than try and have me take you in rent free so you can sit around and drink. You have money for booze but not a place to live? And then send me suicidal text messages for days b/c I cannot just let you freeload like you have with your ex who has now kicked you out??? I'm sorry. You are my friend but I cannot jeapordize my livelyhood and let you just loaf around here and drink all day. I don't think that makes me a bad friend--just someone who can no longer agree to enable you
"Hinged to forgetfulness
like a door,
she slowly closed out of
sight,
and she was the woman I loved,
but too many times she slept like
a mechanical deer in my caresses,
and I ached in the metal silence
of her dreams."
-Richard Brautigan

User avatar
sweetelisum
building community
building community
Posts: 600
Joined: Sat Nov 30, 2002 3:45 am
Gender: Female
Location: Franklin, TN
Contact:

Re: Things Left Unsaid *LA*

Post by sweetelisum » Mon May 17, 2010 12:44 am

J- I fucking despise you right now you cowardly piece of shit. I have every right to be angry at you and you pull this shit where its like you get to be the one graciously walking away??? Fuck that! You had a blackout. You were out of control and put pornograph on only to tell me that you like looking at my myspace profile picture at the same time??? I took care of you so you didn't get alcohol poisioning and die. I think I have every right to feel weird. But rather than realize that I'm trying to get over all this frustration so I can move on and try to overlook this insanity-- you had to be that way. So I'm being this way, pansy ass, stay out of my life!
"Hinged to forgetfulness
like a door,
she slowly closed out of
sight,
and she was the woman I loved,
but too many times she slept like
a mechanical deer in my caresses,
and I ached in the metal silence
of her dreams."
-Richard Brautigan

User avatar
ForgottenMemories
settling in
settling in
Posts: 86
Joined: Tue Apr 27, 2010 6:38 am
Gender: girly parts for me
Location: rainy west coast

Re: Things Left Unsaid *LA*

Post by ForgottenMemories » Tue May 18, 2010 1:57 am

G-I'm sorry. You know something I wouldn't trust with anybody. Don't abuse it, please. I wish you didn't have feelings for me but I need you as a friend right now.
D-You manipulitive, uncaring sob. You really did that? I'm done with you.
D-You freaking acted like you cared. Not only did you not care about me in any way but you also prompted me into revealing more of myself than i wanted to. Stupid freaking asshole. I should have seen that coming.
A-I'm head-over-heels in love with you.
You can have peace or you can have freedom. Don't ever count on having both at once.
There's a drive in me that won't allow me to do certain things that are easy.
This was freedom. Losing all hope was freedom.
I just don't want to die without a few scars.
One of the hardest things in life is having words in your heart that you can't utter.
War does not determine who is right, only who is left.
You've got to burn me. Make me bleed. Turn my pain into fantasy. And if I scream it's only just, love can hurt much more than lust.

Locked

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 228 guests