last time i wanted to si, i didn't because.......
- Understand
- growing roots
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Re: last time i wanted to si, i didn't because.......
he would have hated it and is feeling bad enough as it is
Do not adjust your mind, there is a fault in reality
Just living hurts.
Just living hurts.
- vampirelover
- spiffy maximus
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Re: last time i wanted to si, i didn't because.......
i cant cope with that disapointed look on my bf face
longest with no slips - 2 years , 6 months
time since last slip : 2 days
time since last slip : 2 days
- satori
- meeting the neighbors
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Re: last time i wanted to si, i didn't because.......
- I'm too tired; I have no energy and am just really apathetic.
- doing it on my leg/hip feels weird; I want to be able to wear short sleeves soon as my arm heals so I'm trying not to add new ones there
- doing it on my leg/hip feels weird; I want to be able to wear short sleeves soon as my arm heals so I'm trying not to add new ones there
proud SHACA member! don't blame the cat!
I'm thirty-five years old [2021].
my place
I do believe in the light
raise your hands into the sky
the fight is done, the war is won
lift your hands toward the sun
I'm thirty-five years old [2021].
my place
I do believe in the light
raise your hands into the sky
the fight is done, the war is won
lift your hands toward the sun
- stripysocks4christ
- awe-inspiring
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Re: last time i wanted to si, i didn't because.......
i knew how much it would hurt those i love
"Good friends lift you up when your wings forget to fly"
"Let Go and Let God"
"God will never let us fall without a plan on how to save us"
"For I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength" – Philippians 4:13
"I only lied so I didn't have to see the tears of disappointment in your eyes"
"I don't want the world to see me, cos I don't think that they'd understand..."
xx Kitti xx
my place
my poems
- Heidi4DBT
- meeting the neighbors
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Re: last time i wanted to si, i didn't because.......
I don't want to hurt my loved ones again. I made a promise that I don't want to break. I need to overcome this so that I can deal with life.
http://buslist.org/phpBB/viewtopic.php?f=19&t=138197
finding hope
poetryl
http://buslist.org/phpBB/viewtopic.php?f=4&t=138280
My workshop place
http://buslist.org/phpBB/viewtopic.php?f=37&t=138628
finding hope
poetryl
http://buslist.org/phpBB/viewtopic.php?f=4&t=138280
My workshop place
http://buslist.org/phpBB/viewtopic.php?f=37&t=138628
Re: last time i wanted to si, i didn't because.......
I wanted to email kitti, and put on my place I'd had a SI free day.
I didn't want to dissapoint.
I felt like if I keep ignoring it, it'll go away.
I will not be dependant on it.
I didn't want to dissapoint.
I felt like if I keep ignoring it, it'll go away.
I will not be dependant on it.
♥ "You're not a bad person. You're a very good person, who bad things have happened to. Besides, the world isn't split into good people and Death Eaters. We've all got both light and dark inside us. What matters is the part we choose to act on. That's who we really are." ♥
♥ "My thoughts are stars I can't fathom into constellations." ♥
♥ "I lit up like a Christmas tree, Hazel Grace." ♥
♥ "Things haven't always been this bad, therefore, things won't always be this bad." ♥
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My Bus Butterfly Obsession
♥ DFTBA ♥
- Lucky071307
- unpacking boxes
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Re: last time i wanted to si, i didn't because.......
Last time i wanted to SI i didn't because i decided to give it up for lent. This is proving to be very difficult but I'm determined to follow through.
"I try to live without you every time I do I feel dead. I know whats best for me but I want you instead, I'll keep on wasting all my time" -Over and Over by Three Days Grace
"I am weary of my crying: my throat is dried: mine eyes fail while I wait for my God." -Psalm 69
"The most terrible poverty is loneliness, and the feeling of being unloved." -Mother Teresa of Calcutta
~Lucky (Last SI April 14th 2010)
"I am weary of my crying: my throat is dried: mine eyes fail while I wait for my God." -Psalm 69
"The most terrible poverty is loneliness, and the feeling of being unloved." -Mother Teresa of Calcutta
~Lucky (Last SI April 14th 2010)
-
- one of us
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- Location: Canada
Re: last time i wanted to si, i didn't because.......
I didn't because I gave it up for Lent too. And I need to prove to myself that I can do what I put my mind to; the relief wouldn't be worth how disappointed I'd be with myself.
- southsider
- building community
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Re: last time i wanted to si, i didn't because.......
Because I want to buy myself a cool ring to celebrate my six year "clean" date next winter.
☼ there is hope ☼
place
"If you really want to stay clean, you will find a way. If not, you will find an excuse."
- stripysocks4christ
- awe-inspiring
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- Joined: Tue Jan 13, 2009 6:45 pm
- Gender: female :)
- Location: inside my head
Re: last time i wanted to si, i didn't because.......
because i promised someone that i wouldnt. and i know how much it hurts people.
"Good friends lift you up when your wings forget to fly"
"Let Go and Let God"
"God will never let us fall without a plan on how to save us"
"For I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength" – Philippians 4:13
"I only lied so I didn't have to see the tears of disappointment in your eyes"
"I don't want the world to see me, cos I don't think that they'd understand..."
xx Kitti xx
my place
my poems
- half/hearted
- orange smartie
- Posts: 1728
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- Location: suburbia
Re: last time i wanted to si, i didn't because.......
...because I looked at my now-fading scars and decided that I want to have beautiful scar-free arms again, and if I SI, there will be more scars.
My Mederma-treated, slowly fading scars inspire me to find healthy coping mechanisms and not SI.
My Mederma-treated, slowly fading scars inspire me to find healthy coping mechanisms and not SI.
Please be gentle with me.
you will fly and you will crawl
god knows even angels fall
no such thing as you "lost it all"
god knows even angels fall
you will fly and you will crawl
god knows even angels fall
no such thing as you "lost it all"
god knows even angels fall
-
- bus mechanic
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Re: last time i wanted to si, i didn't because.......
i need to be able to wear a strapless, knee length dress
it wouldnt just hurt myself but the people around me
it would mean turning away from god again
it would mean thinking up lies to explain the marks
it would mean having to hide in a toilet when getting changed at school
it wouldnt just hurt myself but the people around me
it would mean turning away from god again
it would mean thinking up lies to explain the marks
it would mean having to hide in a toilet when getting changed at school
PBH, Telling my parents, My place - All welcome [hugs, stars, challenges, questions are all ok
In the end, it doesnt matter where you have been or who you were,
it only matters who you want to be and where you want to end up.
[Working Towards Recovery]
*I can do all things through christ who strengthens me, Philippians 4:13*
In the end, it doesnt matter where you have been or who you were,
it only matters who you want to be and where you want to end up.
[Working Towards Recovery]
*I can do all things through christ who strengthens me, Philippians 4:13*
- sweetelisum
- building community
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Re: last time i wanted to si, i didn't because.......
I realized that doing so was not going to make my feelings go away for good.
Instead I talked about it instead of bottling it up.
I wanted to show myself I could cope without
Like drinking, its only a temporary fix
I didn't want C to feel responsible
I didn't want another mark to explain.
Its spring and I don't want to have to cover it up
I want to start modeling again, and photoshoping it is a real bitch
Instead I talked about it instead of bottling it up.
I wanted to show myself I could cope without
Like drinking, its only a temporary fix
I didn't want C to feel responsible
I didn't want another mark to explain.
Its spring and I don't want to have to cover it up
I want to start modeling again, and photoshoping it is a real bitch
"Hinged to forgetfulness
like a door,
she slowly closed out of
sight,
and she was the woman I loved,
but too many times she slept like
a mechanical deer in my caresses,
and I ached in the metal silence
of her dreams."
-Richard Brautigan
like a door,
she slowly closed out of
sight,
and she was the woman I loved,
but too many times she slept like
a mechanical deer in my caresses,
and I ached in the metal silence
of her dreams."
-Richard Brautigan
- flyingturtle
- sprouting branches
- Posts: 1242
- Joined: Sun May 09, 2010 8:19 am
- Location: somewhere in the between
Re: last time i wanted to si, i didn't because.......
I didn't SI because I didn't want to have to hide it. It's springtime and I love wearing short sleeves. I also didn't want the BF to find it. Also it was late and I was tired and didn't feel like cleaning up. So then I slept instead.
- KittyCath
- creating your space
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- Gender: Female
- Location: Florida
- Contact:
Re: last time i wanted to si, i didn't because.......
I was at work.......................I work in a hospital and people may notice my disappearence.
Re: last time i wanted to si, i didn't because.......
My cat came and curled up beside me and fell asleep with his head on me.
"I thought my ideas were so clear. I wanted to make an honest film. No lies whatsoever. I thought I had something so simple to say. Something useful to everybody. A film that could help bury forever all those dead things we carry within ourselves. Instead, I'm the one without the courage to bury anything at all. When did I go wrong? I really have nothing to say, but I want to say it all the same." -Federico Fellini's 8 1/2
...beneath the waves...
Re: last time i wanted to si, i didn't because.......
I seriously distracted myself.
- stripysocks4christ
- awe-inspiring
- Posts: 6605
- Joined: Tue Jan 13, 2009 6:45 pm
- Gender: female :)
- Location: inside my head
Re: last time i wanted to si, i didn't because.......
i knew deep down i didnt need to, i had other ways of coping.
"Good friends lift you up when your wings forget to fly"
"Let Go and Let God"
"God will never let us fall without a plan on how to save us"
"For I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength" – Philippians 4:13
"I only lied so I didn't have to see the tears of disappointment in your eyes"
"I don't want the world to see me, cos I don't think that they'd understand..."
xx Kitti xx
my place
my poems
Re: last time i wanted to si, i didn't because.......
I promised my darling CS that I wouldn't.
I refuse to start out this relationship with lies.
I want him to trust me.
I refuse to start out this relationship with lies.
I want him to trust me.
5-17-2021
9/11/17 </3
Re: last time i wanted to si, i didn't because.......
because i dont need to. because it wouldnt help. because i am worth so so much more than si!
because i can cope without it.
because i can cope without it.
♥ "You're not a bad person. You're a very good person, who bad things have happened to. Besides, the world isn't split into good people and Death Eaters. We've all got both light and dark inside us. What matters is the part we choose to act on. That's who we really are." ♥
♥ "My thoughts are stars I can't fathom into constellations." ♥
♥ "I lit up like a Christmas tree, Hazel Grace." ♥
♥ "Things haven't always been this bad, therefore, things won't always be this bad." ♥
My Place
My Efforts At Being Healthy
My Bus Butterfly Obsession
♥ DFTBA ♥
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