Things Left Unsaid - Version 3.0 *Language*
- Neviah
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Re: Things Left Unsaid - Version 3.0 *Language*
even though we're just friends i feel like i am/could fall for you. Being around you has gotten me over the worst of it with will as you've just looked after me instead of bitching about will. Please decide what you want this is killing me. I understand in a way why you've freaked out but im here if you want to see me like that and im still here if you dont. i just need to know where i stand
Re: Things Left Unsaid - Version 3.0 *Language*
No, I won't wipe up the counters, because I am not the idiot who spews coffee all over them.
-marya hornbacher
spidey immer voran
(spidey ever onward)
- Ruby Tuesday
- just plain inspiring
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Re: Things Left Unsaid - Version 3.0 *Language*
I think that you're constantly looking for reassurance that you're better than everyone else here, and I won't give it to you.
"I saw spiders where there were no spiders" - patti smith
"'My hands', she said, 'I've left them somewhere and now I can't find them.' She was holding her hands in the air, helplessly, as if she couldn't move them.
'They're right there', I said, 'On the end of your arms'
'No, no', she said impatiently, 'Not those , those are no good anymore. My other hands, the ones I had before, the ones I could touch things with.'" - margaret atwood
place
"'My hands', she said, 'I've left them somewhere and now I can't find them.' She was holding her hands in the air, helplessly, as if she couldn't move them.
'They're right there', I said, 'On the end of your arms'
'No, no', she said impatiently, 'Not those , those are no good anymore. My other hands, the ones I had before, the ones I could touch things with.'" - margaret atwood
place
Re: Things Left Unsaid - Version 3.0 *Language*
I miss you. I used to love seeing you, but now it just hurts to see you because thinking of the connection we used to have makes my heart ache. I wish you showed your care for me like you used to. Indifference hurts a lot. I wish you were there for me like you used to be. I feel forgotten and insignificant and it hurts so much. I could never say these things to you because it would just be "selfish" of me. But that doesn't mean I feel them any less.
How did you know that I'm all alone today
Oh I feel so scared and I want to go away
I bleed so deep underneath
My soul is screaming
I'm not gonna hide, I'm not gonna run away
I'll uncover the scars, and show you every mistake
Your love has mended my blisters and my bruising shame
Now I'm not ashamed.
Here with you I am safe
My Place: waiting for the morning Feel free to read along! Hugs and replies are welcome!
Oh I feel so scared and I want to go away
I bleed so deep underneath
My soul is screaming
I'm not gonna hide, I'm not gonna run away
I'll uncover the scars, and show you every mistake
Your love has mended my blisters and my bruising shame
Now I'm not ashamed.
Here with you I am safe
My Place: waiting for the morning Feel free to read along! Hugs and replies are welcome!
- Ruby Tuesday
- just plain inspiring
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Re: Things Left Unsaid - Version 3.0 *Language*
I'm so scared of bumping into you on the street.
"I saw spiders where there were no spiders" - patti smith
"'My hands', she said, 'I've left them somewhere and now I can't find them.' She was holding her hands in the air, helplessly, as if she couldn't move them.
'They're right there', I said, 'On the end of your arms'
'No, no', she said impatiently, 'Not those , those are no good anymore. My other hands, the ones I had before, the ones I could touch things with.'" - margaret atwood
place
"'My hands', she said, 'I've left them somewhere and now I can't find them.' She was holding her hands in the air, helplessly, as if she couldn't move them.
'They're right there', I said, 'On the end of your arms'
'No, no', she said impatiently, 'Not those , those are no good anymore. My other hands, the ones I had before, the ones I could touch things with.'" - margaret atwood
place
Re: Things Left Unsaid - Version 3.0 *Language*
i miss you.i should have done something when i had my chance.now i don't have it any more since you got girlfriend.i knew something was wrong when i stopped to feel connected with you, and today had that 2 stupid dreams where we walked through city holding hands together and being happy.now i know that will never happen.it's nice to see you happy, it's like i said to you once, i have feeling i'm not ment to enjoy life, just to observe other people's happiness.had slips today.9 of them.1 for each day i spent with you.i hope you'll remember me sometimes, when you make your didgeridoo from agava flower i helped you with.
i'll never forget you, you're too special to be forgotten.
goodbye miha
i'll never forget you, you're too special to be forgotten.
goodbye miha
Re: Things Left Unsaid - Version 3.0 *Language*
it's funny after al these years, guys come and go but you're always with me.thank you
Re: Things Left Unsaid - Version 3.0 *Language*
I still think you are a toad.
yah i have a kidney infection and the doctors kept me just a couple days. Im better off at home getting better then being poked and prodded every time i start to fall asleep. I still can't belive you asked me if I was fine now (after just telling you im sick) and whatever. i dont like you so go away. you are just a temporary untill my case worker comes back from mat leave.
yah i have a kidney infection and the doctors kept me just a couple days. Im better off at home getting better then being poked and prodded every time i start to fall asleep. I still can't belive you asked me if I was fine now (after just telling you im sick) and whatever. i dont like you so go away. you are just a temporary untill my case worker comes back from mat leave.
- treasure
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Re: Things Left Unsaid - Version 3.0 *Language*
sometimes i wish i wasn's so emotionally dependent on you. while you are away i've been busy and reasonably happy and although i can be busy and happy with you around, it seems harder because i'm introverted and just having someone in the same house is draining. i wish i could find a middle ground but unfortunately it seems i'm doomed to be not-quite-myself with you. at the same time you bolster my self-esteem so much that it's much nicer being not-quite myself. i don't think i could discuss this without sounding ungrateful or like i want to move out. i don't know what would be best for me, but i hope i find out eventually.
- snowangel_03
- my other car is a bus
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Re: Things Left Unsaid - Version 3.0 *Language*
OK. I get that whole you're bigger than me thing. But just because I'm not the same size as you, it doesn't mean I'm as skinny as you think. Open your eyes already; there's more to sizes than big and skinny. I'm not the petite stick you see me as. I have curves on me, hence the clothes I wear. If I can't find something down my crap hole of a town then I won't be going out for drinks with you and Soph. You are NOT taking me into town to buy something I don't have the money for or that won't fit me coz it'll be the size YOU say I am and not what I KNOW I am. I'm getting so fucking sick of this shit. You've known me 12 and a half years. You KNOW I wasn't some stick insect at school. I've gone through puberty AND having a child since then, I'd be bigger than what I was when I met you anway, so for FUCKS sake...PLEASE STOP TELLING ME I'M SO FUCKING SKINNY WHEN I'M FUCKING NOT, OK?!
Last SI: --
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- vampirelover
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Re: Things Left Unsaid - Version 3.0 *Language*
SA, Alcohol , sex
ex boyfriend - i dont get how u can go from saying u love me to i dont have feelings for you anymore in the space of less then a week.
This makes me think did u ever really ever love me was it just about sex , this hurts to much i loved u and know i still have feelings for u 2 weeks later but ur acting completly normal around me if u did love me once u would be doing that surally u would care. I know i shouted at u to stop touching me when u tried to pick me off the floor when i was drunk and thanks for that but i got to understand the boundries between us i cant be alone with u in the sixth form common room with the lights off , i dont like it when u touch me like to get past me it makes me want to throw myself at you. Im not ready for anothe relationship but this guy who like me makes me want to go out with him just to see if u care.
I get ur worried about ur sexuality and sexual problems as u stopped acting normal to me after u opended up to me but really do u not like me ?
ex boyfriend - i dont get how u can go from saying u love me to i dont have feelings for you anymore in the space of less then a week.
This makes me think did u ever really ever love me was it just about sex , this hurts to much i loved u and know i still have feelings for u 2 weeks later but ur acting completly normal around me if u did love me once u would be doing that surally u would care. I know i shouted at u to stop touching me when u tried to pick me off the floor when i was drunk and thanks for that but i got to understand the boundries between us i cant be alone with u in the sixth form common room with the lights off , i dont like it when u touch me like to get past me it makes me want to throw myself at you. Im not ready for anothe relationship but this guy who like me makes me want to go out with him just to see if u care.
I get ur worried about ur sexuality and sexual problems as u stopped acting normal to me after u opended up to me but really do u not like me ?
longest with no slips - 2 years , 6 months
time since last slip : 2 days
time since last slip : 2 days
Re: Things Left Unsaid - Version 3.0 *Language*
A - At 36 I'd expect you to have the maturity to say something to my face if you have an issue with me. Or at least be professional enough to do so. As it turns out you're nothing more than a spoilt public school brat....well y'know what, fuck you! I refuse to be taken in by your slimy charms and become your lapdog like everyone else. You think you're better than us and that it means you can get away with not doing your part when people ask you for things....well not with me, if you don't do something I need to do my job, you can be sure I will make sure that the blame gets firmly put on you.
- vampirelover
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Re: Things Left Unsaid - Version 3.0 *Language*
all triggers
mum - i cant believe u said to me " you dont have to pretend to be okay i know ur not okay" and this is just over my know ex yes im not okay but wtf
when i really wasnt okay when i was sh , when i was being SA, my longest friend was dying , i was suicidal and u were to busy having panic attacks or with ur clients to care. Just cause u dont get paid to help me shouldnt mean im anyless important you may not be MY therapist but your MY mum you should have known then that everything wasnt okay. Then you accused me of only going out with him cause i wanted a boyfriend and thats why im not upset
mum i am upset so upset i cried for like 64 hours none stop , but its two weeks later i have had the people that really know me being there for me ur to late (as usually)
mum - i cant believe u said to me " you dont have to pretend to be okay i know ur not okay" and this is just over my know ex yes im not okay but wtf
when i really wasnt okay when i was sh , when i was being SA, my longest friend was dying , i was suicidal and u were to busy having panic attacks or with ur clients to care. Just cause u dont get paid to help me shouldnt mean im anyless important you may not be MY therapist but your MY mum you should have known then that everything wasnt okay. Then you accused me of only going out with him cause i wanted a boyfriend and thats why im not upset
mum i am upset so upset i cried for like 64 hours none stop , but its two weeks later i have had the people that really know me being there for me ur to late (as usually)
longest with no slips - 2 years , 6 months
time since last slip : 2 days
time since last slip : 2 days
Re: Things Left Unsaid - Version 3.0 *Language*
I am a fucking idiot. I hate myself so much tonight.
Re: Things Left Unsaid - Version 3.0 *Language*
no i dont want to meet with you tomorrow. im just starting to feel better. i rather not subject myself to your presence thank you.
Re: Things Left Unsaid - Version 3.0 *Language*
D - Of course I had to pretend it was okay that you canceled last minute on me. Of course I couldn't show you how crushed and devastated I was. To be honest would hurt you, and I couldn't do that. But I am crushed. I needed to get out tonight. I needed to spend time with you tonight. Of course I can't let you know that I'm sitting alone in my dark room, crying off and on, and feeling horribly low. Of course I can't let you know how urgey I am tonight and how I'm not sure I'll be able to make it without giving in. Of course I could tell you how much I needed to go out with you tonight. *sigh* I certainly can't tell you that I feel so let down.
How did you know that I'm all alone today
Oh I feel so scared and I want to go away
I bleed so deep underneath
My soul is screaming
I'm not gonna hide, I'm not gonna run away
I'll uncover the scars, and show you every mistake
Your love has mended my blisters and my bruising shame
Now I'm not ashamed.
Here with you I am safe
My Place: waiting for the morning Feel free to read along! Hugs and replies are welcome!
Oh I feel so scared and I want to go away
I bleed so deep underneath
My soul is screaming
I'm not gonna hide, I'm not gonna run away
I'll uncover the scars, and show you every mistake
Your love has mended my blisters and my bruising shame
Now I'm not ashamed.
Here with you I am safe
My Place: waiting for the morning Feel free to read along! Hugs and replies are welcome!
- hiddensorrow883127
- unpacking boxes
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- Joined: Wed Aug 12, 2009 6:50 pm
- Gender: female
Re: Things Left Unsaid - Version 3.0 *Language*
"JT"- I don't know what I did that makes you hate me so much. If My thought is correct though you need to get over it. Assuming I am right and it is about my Si-ing...I did not tell you what it was so you are making an assumption that could very well be untrue. So, while you were right...what if you were not. I can't stand you but I still love you. you tear me to shreads *****SI***** litterally and figuratively. I have cut you into me too many times ***********end SI******* you just won't forgive me. you make me forgive you daily. it is screwing with me so much. I just don't get it. You haven't talked to me for over six months now other than yelling at me across the soccer feild when coach made you. and even then. you give me lousy communication on the sports field too. which makes me look bad. so now I am sitting bench. and I am a better player than a lot of people who get to play. and everyone knows it. I hate you but I can't let go of you...what are you doing to me?
"CM"- Bud, thanks so much for always caring. I love you like a brother and you are a wonderful guy. I am sorry that I have worried you so much recently. Thanks for caring. I am really sorry I can't tell you what all is going on. I wish I could but I am too afraid to lose you. too afraid.
"MT"- I love you girl. I am sorry that we have not been talking much. I feel like I have failed you there. big time. I hope all is going well with you...I wish I could tell you that I'm not ok. I can't though. I can't talk to you about any of this. I don't want to worry you any more than you are.
"CM"- Bud, thanks so much for always caring. I love you like a brother and you are a wonderful guy. I am sorry that I have worried you so much recently. Thanks for caring. I am really sorry I can't tell you what all is going on. I wish I could but I am too afraid to lose you. too afraid.
"MT"- I love you girl. I am sorry that we have not been talking much. I feel like I have failed you there. big time. I hope all is going well with you...I wish I could tell you that I'm not ok. I can't though. I can't talk to you about any of this. I don't want to worry you any more than you are.
"I thought I could trust you...you said I could...you lied and I was so wrong."
"You said you would be there for me. That you would always love me. That I'd never let you down. Then you changed your mind..so now I have memories. AND I WEAR THEM ON MY WRIST."
-Endevour Now. Do Something Intense...to end this
END SI
if only it were that simple
feel free to message me
"You said you would be there for me. That you would always love me. That I'd never let you down. Then you changed your mind..so now I have memories. AND I WEAR THEM ON MY WRIST."
-Endevour Now. Do Something Intense...to end this
END SI
if only it were that simple
feel free to message me
Re: Things Left Unsaid - Version 3.0 *Language*
And what about my FUCKING degree you arsehole????!!! You think I want to be a shitty assistant the rest of my life? Screw you and your sodding job!
"She would never know, because he would never tell her. Somehow if she’d known the worst parts, she couldn’t have gone on being a haven for him… He needed her ignorance to hide in. Yet at the same time, he wanted to know and be known as deeply as possible. And the two desires were irreconcilable"
From Regeneration by Pat Barker
From Regeneration by Pat Barker
Re: Things Left Unsaid - Version 3.0 *Language*
I really miss you and am glad we visited today
- xXelmoscaresmeXx
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Re: Things Left Unsaid - Version 3.0 *Language*
It's not like I fucking mean to not sleep, stop fucking acting like I'm not fucking laying there trying to figure out if there's a goddamn reason to fucking get out of bed! You fucking screaming at me isn't fucking helping!
Recovery is possible, I promise
My Aunt is Ultimate Starshine. My mom is snowangel_03. My big sisters are jadestarwalking and Birdie.
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Facts of life:
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-----My Expressions-----
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*Stephanie*
My Aunt is Ultimate Starshine. My mom is snowangel_03. My big sisters are jadestarwalking and Birdie.
dont click this link
Facts of life:
-Purple monkeys eat grapes, not bananas.
-The answer to life is five point tomato [toe-may-toe]
-Zebra is not 'zee-brah' it's f-ing 'Z-eh-brah' like Debra
-You will need to count your toes
-The f-ing Zebra will ALWAYS eat your cookie. Nothing will stop it
-Pooh Bear is dead
-There will always be a moose, don't fight it, it will win
-----My Place-----
-----My PBH-----
*Stephanie*
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