Things Left Unsaid - Version 3.0 *Language*
Re: Things Left Unsaid - Version 3.0 *Language*
I'm really struggling to remain happy and positive. I feel lonely and sad. It's a terrible thing to say and I feel so guilty, but there doesn't seem much to live for at the moment. I want to delete this as I know I shouldn't feel this way and I feel awful about it. I can feel myself getting trapped in the downwards spiral but I have no clue what I could do about it. It all seems out of my control.
Re: Things Left Unsaid - Version 3.0 *Language*
I had to let it go; it was eating me alive.
-marya hornbacher
spidey immer voran
(spidey ever onward)
- kittyfever
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Re: Things Left Unsaid - Version 3.0 *Language*
I would have given you anything or everything, but I just feel empty now. Thanks for not caring. This isn't love anymore.
- 5th section
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Re: Things Left Unsaid - Version 3.0 *Language*
Is it just me?
no seriously, I hope it is, because the alternative is that you're not only letting that happen to someone you supposedly care about, you're actually congratulating her for letting him get away with it...
maybe I'm reading too much into this. I hope so
no seriously, I hope it is, because the alternative is that you're not only letting that happen to someone you supposedly care about, you're actually congratulating her for letting him get away with it...
maybe I'm reading too much into this. I hope so
...then one day I realised that the people you see in waiting rooms and car parks and on trains are really far more interesting. That they all have whole novels inside them, a fabric of scar tissues, photos and memories. They are comedies and tragedies and - more often - both at the same time.
- Anna James (1984-2007)
son of ultimate starshine / brother of Eisa & Sprink / Birdie's ornithologist / married to Mande / Chey's uncle
- my place
- my band (or more accurately, the band of which I am the bassist) some SI/SU triggers in lyrics...proceed with caution...
GOING STRAIGHT SINCE 1ST DECEMBER 2009
- Anna James (1984-2007)
son of ultimate starshine / brother of Eisa & Sprink / Birdie's ornithologist / married to Mande / Chey's uncle
- my place
- my band (or more accurately, the band of which I am the bassist) some SI/SU triggers in lyrics...proceed with caution...
GOING STRAIGHT SINCE 1ST DECEMBER 2009
Re: Things Left Unsaid - Version 3.0 *Language*
I know you probably don't care, but I like you a lot more tham I ever intended to. I know you like me, but I'm having a hard time, deciding whether you like me for me, or just for my body. I can't pretend that what happened last time never happened. I wish I could, but even if I did, it would probably happen again anyway. I used to be mad at you. Now, I don't know. I've gotten over the anger part at least. Now I'm just scared. Yeah.. Me, scared? Is this a joke?? THat's probably what you're thinking right now.
And mom, I love you. I have all these scars because I love you and didn't want to do something worse. Yes, I would love to see a psychiatrist right about now, and I know there's something wrong with me. I'll figure it out eventually. By the way, have you seen my arms? Because I have a feeling you did, that one night you were up and I was half asleep. Either way, it doesn't matter, because I love you, and we've gotten through worse together. '
And by the way, I am NOT my sister. Even though you say you understand that, and that we're completely different, you shelter me and fear me. What the hell do you think I'm going to become? The antichrist or something? For crying out loud, you and I both know that I don't have the capacity to hurt people, and you can't shield me from the world forever. I've fallen in love, and there's nothing you can do to stop me from that. I'm going to live and love and break to pieces, and learn from all that, but I need to do it myself. I understand that you want me to succeed, but you can't succeed through me. I'm sorry if this sounds harsh, but Just know that I love you, and no matter what, no matter what shit we fly through, you'll always be my mommy.
And mom, I love you. I have all these scars because I love you and didn't want to do something worse. Yes, I would love to see a psychiatrist right about now, and I know there's something wrong with me. I'll figure it out eventually. By the way, have you seen my arms? Because I have a feeling you did, that one night you were up and I was half asleep. Either way, it doesn't matter, because I love you, and we've gotten through worse together. '
And by the way, I am NOT my sister. Even though you say you understand that, and that we're completely different, you shelter me and fear me. What the hell do you think I'm going to become? The antichrist or something? For crying out loud, you and I both know that I don't have the capacity to hurt people, and you can't shield me from the world forever. I've fallen in love, and there's nothing you can do to stop me from that. I'm going to live and love and break to pieces, and learn from all that, but I need to do it myself. I understand that you want me to succeed, but you can't succeed through me. I'm sorry if this sounds harsh, but Just know that I love you, and no matter what, no matter what shit we fly through, you'll always be my mommy.
- falllingdown
- sprouting branches
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Re: Things Left Unsaid - Version 3.0 *Language*
I miss you i really do. I wish i could make everything right. I want you to know your an amazing person who deserves so much more.
Justice for the 96
Maybe I just want to fly
I want to live I don't want to die
Maybe I just want to breath
Maybe I just don't believe
Maybe you're the same as me
We see things they'll never see
You and I are gonna live forever
-Oasis - Live Forever
Maybe I just want to fly
I want to live I don't want to die
Maybe I just want to breath
Maybe I just don't believe
Maybe you're the same as me
We see things they'll never see
You and I are gonna live forever
-Oasis - Live Forever
Re: Things Left Unsaid - Version 3.0 *Language*
I am about an hour away from driving myself mad. If I let myself think of you for a tad too long or imagine the wrong things, I am going to go mad. I'm trying to hard to keep myself from getting too infatuated with the idea of you.
But, do come visit? Or let me see you before bloody Christmas for fuck's sake.
But, do come visit? Or let me see you before bloody Christmas for fuck's sake.
Eisa = Beasty's Twin
Beasty's Place!
- Never Again
- quintessential regular
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Re: Things Left Unsaid - Version 3.0 *Language*
it's fuckheads like YOU that drive their kids to si. you don't OWN your children. they are people. with feelings and ideas of their own. the more you try to keep them isolated and """"protected""""????? the more problems they will have. it makes me sick to know that your daughter ended up where she did and it WAS because of you. and you will never realize it because you're head is up your ass.
I have love. I have love but I don't know where to put it.
- Stefani140
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Re: Things Left Unsaid - Version 3.0 *Language*
I'm really really tired of pretending that I believe you when you say I'm the most important thing in your world. I've said it before and I'll say it again, when your words and actions contradict each other, I can't believe your words. If I was the most important you wouldn't keep doing this to me. You wouldn't keep promising that you'll do it different next time, then not doing it different. You wouldn't keep promising to not worry me anymore, then worrying me again. Guess we'll just see what your excuse is this time.
"Even if you're the lone voice in the wilderness, it does not mean you're wrong."
PMs, comments, challenges, advice and hugs welcome.
My Place: http://buslist.org/phpBB/viewtopic.php?t=128060
PMs, comments, challenges, advice and hugs welcome.
My Place: http://buslist.org/phpBB/viewtopic.php?t=128060
- acdcrocker1909
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Re: Things Left Unsaid - Version 3.0 *Language*
..grow up. The world is tough, and you might as well buy yourself a freaking bubble right now.
Music is life.. we each have our own symphony.. and we control it for the most part.. sometimes instruments drop out.. and others join in.. but when the music fades and the symphony is done.. then we have created a beautiful, personal piece. - Me.
Less Traveled Roads <-- Everyone Welcome.
- insaneTrash
- one of us
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Re: Things Left Unsaid - Version 3.0 *Language*
I don't want to get better yet.
I don't want you to try and get close to me.
I want to be left alone.
I'd rather let this kill me than give in, and fail.
I don't want you to try and get close to me.
I want to be left alone.
I'd rather let this kill me than give in, and fail.
- stripysocks4christ
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Re: Things Left Unsaid - Version 3.0 *Language*
i can never please you. so why do i try? why is it that i have to get myself so depressed and upset and make you see so much pain in my eyes for you to notice me? for goodness sake!!! sometimes i ****ing hate you!!! i cant believe im saying that. if i didnt love you so m,uch..... i hate you because i cant help but love you. and i cant be mad at you for long.. but i feel so alone. so ........................
why does it have to be like this?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? why on earth cant we be normal?? oh yeh. because im a nutcase.. huh!
sorry. so sorry........
why does it have to be like this?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? why on earth cant we be normal?? oh yeh. because im a nutcase.. huh!
sorry. so sorry........
"Good friends lift you up when your wings forget to fly"
"Let Go and Let God"
"God will never let us fall without a plan on how to save us"
"For I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength" – Philippians 4:13
"I only lied so I didn't have to see the tears of disappointment in your eyes"
"I don't want the world to see me, cos I don't think that they'd understand..."
xx Kitti xx
my place
my poems
Re: Things Left Unsaid - Version 3.0 *Language*
I miss you....but you will never return..
-
- bus mechanic
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Re: Things Left Unsaid - Version 3.0 *Language*
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH bbe i miss u like crazy!! im going insane
and imn sorry i let you go, its for your sake, not mine. I know you can do better, and i didnt treat you very well, but i knew it never was gonna work out
thanks for being there when i was sad, distressed, you know all my secrets, i told you everything.
i feel like i have known you forever. my memory doesnt go back far enough to remember when i didnt know you, but i still wanna know you.
i wanna ket you know i havnt forgotten you, i still love you.
i love you enough to let you go...
i just want you to be happy, thats all i want.
A- said you where happier now, and thats good, really it is. just please stay happy.
my scars are healing now, so dont worry about that. A- will keep an eye on you and will make sure you dont break your promise.
bye xxx
and imn sorry i let you go, its for your sake, not mine. I know you can do better, and i didnt treat you very well, but i knew it never was gonna work out
thanks for being there when i was sad, distressed, you know all my secrets, i told you everything.
i feel like i have known you forever. my memory doesnt go back far enough to remember when i didnt know you, but i still wanna know you.
i wanna ket you know i havnt forgotten you, i still love you.
i love you enough to let you go...
i just want you to be happy, thats all i want.
A- said you where happier now, and thats good, really it is. just please stay happy.
my scars are healing now, so dont worry about that. A- will keep an eye on you and will make sure you dont break your promise.
bye xxx
PBH, Telling my parents, My place - All welcome [hugs, stars, challenges, questions are all ok
In the end, it doesnt matter where you have been or who you were,
it only matters who you want to be and where you want to end up.
[Working Towards Recovery]
*I can do all things through christ who strengthens me, Philippians 4:13*
In the end, it doesnt matter where you have been or who you were,
it only matters who you want to be and where you want to end up.
[Working Towards Recovery]
*I can do all things through christ who strengthens me, Philippians 4:13*
Re: Things Left Unsaid - Version 3.0 *Language*
Fuck you. I'm not calling you. If you want me, call me. Until then, sorry.
- VowsOfSadness
- sock rocker
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Re: Things Left Unsaid - Version 3.0 *Language*
"If you loved me then why the fuck did you let me go? Cause it hurt so much I couldn't breathe. You broke my heart."
and it's right there, if I could just send it.
and it's right there, if I could just send it.
*Challenges welcome*
I always love a
I woke up this morning, I suddenly realized we're all in this together.
Drop by my place & say hi
Ask me anything!!!
I'm fully Recovered!
I always love a
Drop by my place & say hi
Ask me anything!!!
I'm fully Recovered!
Re: Things Left Unsaid - Version 3.0 *Language*
DON'T MAKE ME PROMISE SOMETHING LIKE THAT EVER AGAIN, BECAUSE YOU KNOW DAMN WELL THAT I COULDN'T KEEP IT. AND FOR GOD'S SAKE, WHY DID YOU HAVE TO MAKE ME PROMISE ON *YOUR* LIFE?? YOU KNOW DAMN WELL THAT I LOVE YOU. DO YOU HAVE ANY FUCKING IDEA HOW GUILTY THAT MAKES ME FEEL?
I *told* you. You didn't find out like the others. I trusted you. Can't you trust that I won't *kill* myself? I've proven myself beyond even reasonable capacities that I'm trustworthy. Trust me with myself. Please. I'm not killing you. I'm not asking you not to help, but you need to know when to stand there and when to move. I know I can't ask any more of a friend like you, and it's been years now, and I keep getting worse. But I can't get any better with you breathing down my neck.
You know, maybe I will tell you this. I think you need to hear it.
But above all, thank you, and I love you. And... I apologize. That's something I don't think you'll actually get to hear me say, but I've borne the humility of saying it here. I apologize, and I'm sure you know it, even if I can't quite put it into words.
By the way, I'm almost positive that's another one of those genetic quirks coming through. Have you ever heard my mother apologize? How about my sister? I thought not....
I *told* you. You didn't find out like the others. I trusted you. Can't you trust that I won't *kill* myself? I've proven myself beyond even reasonable capacities that I'm trustworthy. Trust me with myself. Please. I'm not killing you. I'm not asking you not to help, but you need to know when to stand there and when to move. I know I can't ask any more of a friend like you, and it's been years now, and I keep getting worse. But I can't get any better with you breathing down my neck.
You know, maybe I will tell you this. I think you need to hear it.
But above all, thank you, and I love you. And... I apologize. That's something I don't think you'll actually get to hear me say, but I've borne the humility of saying it here. I apologize, and I'm sure you know it, even if I can't quite put it into words.
By the way, I'm almost positive that's another one of those genetic quirks coming through. Have you ever heard my mother apologize? How about my sister? I thought not....
- falllingdown
- sprouting branches
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Re: Things Left Unsaid - Version 3.0 *Language*
I only wish i could explain how i feel, to make you understand and show that i aint a bloody idiot. You deserve so much more and i wish i could offer that to you.
Justice for the 96
Maybe I just want to fly
I want to live I don't want to die
Maybe I just want to breath
Maybe I just don't believe
Maybe you're the same as me
We see things they'll never see
You and I are gonna live forever
-Oasis - Live Forever
Maybe I just want to fly
I want to live I don't want to die
Maybe I just want to breath
Maybe I just don't believe
Maybe you're the same as me
We see things they'll never see
You and I are gonna live forever
-Oasis - Live Forever
- xXelmoscaresmeXx
- knows the ropes
- Posts: 4533
- Joined: Thu May 07, 2009 10:40 pm
- Gender: Girl
- Location: MD Age:23
Re: Things Left Unsaid - Version 3.0 *Language*
Trig *SI* *Self Hate*
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Dear Self [that isn't really me],
Please go away, go away and let me be me. Please stop making me do these things I know I shouldn't do. Please stop distorting my view of reality. Please let me sleep with out fearing that in the morning I won't have the will to get up. Please let me forget. Please stop yelling. Please let me talk. Please let me reach out to someone. Please let me relax. Please shut up. Please stop making me so insecure. Please let me be loved. Please stop fighting. Please stop these beautifully distorted red pearls on blood red lines. Please stop these lies. Please stop. Please go away. Please stop taking over. Please stop me.
--Stephanie
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Dear Self [that isn't really me],
Please go away, go away and let me be me. Please stop making me do these things I know I shouldn't do. Please stop distorting my view of reality. Please let me sleep with out fearing that in the morning I won't have the will to get up. Please let me forget. Please stop yelling. Please let me talk. Please let me reach out to someone. Please let me relax. Please shut up. Please stop making me so insecure. Please let me be loved. Please stop fighting. Please stop these beautifully distorted red pearls on blood red lines. Please stop these lies. Please stop. Please go away. Please stop taking over. Please stop me.
--Stephanie
Last edited by xXelmoscaresmeXx on Mon Aug 17, 2009 5:03 am, edited 1 time in total.
Recovery is possible, I promise
My Aunt is Ultimate Starshine. My mom is snowangel_03. My big sisters are jadestarwalking and Birdie.
dont click this link
Facts of life:
-Purple monkeys eat grapes, not bananas.
-The answer to life is five point tomato [toe-may-toe]
-Zebra is not 'zee-brah' it's f-ing 'Z-eh-brah' like Debra
-You will need to count your toes
-The f-ing Zebra will ALWAYS eat your cookie. Nothing will stop it
-Pooh Bear is dead
-There will always be a moose, don't fight it, it will win
-----My Expressions-----
-----My Place-----
-----My PBH-----
*Stephanie*
My Aunt is Ultimate Starshine. My mom is snowangel_03. My big sisters are jadestarwalking and Birdie.
dont click this link
Facts of life:
-Purple monkeys eat grapes, not bananas.
-The answer to life is five point tomato [toe-may-toe]
-Zebra is not 'zee-brah' it's f-ing 'Z-eh-brah' like Debra
-You will need to count your toes
-The f-ing Zebra will ALWAYS eat your cookie. Nothing will stop it
-Pooh Bear is dead
-There will always be a moose, don't fight it, it will win
-----My Place-----
-----My PBH-----
*Stephanie*
- stripysocks4christ
- awe-inspiring
- Posts: 6605
- Joined: Tue Jan 13, 2009 6:45 pm
- Gender: female :)
- Location: inside my head
Re: Things Left Unsaid - Version 3.0 *Language*
hun, cant you see whats happening. a few days ago you were pining for A. now youe just said yes to D!!!! r you crazy!?!?!?!? hun, have you really thought this through?? i dont want you to to get hurt. or him either. just - please dont go out with him to take your mind off A. cos it wont work hun.. if you really like him then fine. but you are so sure your in love with A that im a bit doubtful of the reasons behind your desicion... i want you to be happy. but i want true happiness and long term happiness. please. think about it properly... i know your concerned about a brave face and masking yourself when infront of every1 else, but...... still....
well i love you hunnie. make the right desision.. dont rush into anything..
xxx
well i love you hunnie. make the right desision.. dont rush into anything..
xxx
"Good friends lift you up when your wings forget to fly"
"Let Go and Let God"
"God will never let us fall without a plan on how to save us"
"For I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength" – Philippians 4:13
"I only lied so I didn't have to see the tears of disappointment in your eyes"
"I don't want the world to see me, cos I don't think that they'd understand..."
xx Kitti xx
my place
my poems
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