Things Left Unsaid - Version 3.0 *Language*

tips on how to cope: dealing with your feelings, dealing with the consequences of self-harm in your life. share your ideas and maybe pick up some new skills, too. you don't have to want to stop to learn something new here.

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amyfairy
postinating the countryside
postinating the countryside
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Post by amyfairy » Sun Jun 07, 2009 12:10 pm

I don't want to live here much longer! It's been eight months now, and I'm reaching the end of my ability to stay here. I can't stay here any longer than year, but I keep applying for jobs and no-one wants to give me so much as an interview!

And now I have more than one reason to move back home-way! damn, in one way I wish I'd never taken this job. It's proving hard to move on. Who knows what I'd be doing if I'd stayed west-side. Then again, I might not have had some of the amazing experiences that I've had this year.

I want to live life to the full.

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Beasty
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Post by Beasty » Mon Jun 08, 2009 4:16 am

You've forgotten me, haven't you? I've been initiating contact all year-- you promise to call but do you ever? No. You seem so happy in your new life and I'm the facet that doesn't fit anymore.

And you. You forgot me, too. Since when did "I'll call you tomorrow afternoon" turn into "I'll call you never." What does it matter? You're several states away and you've found yourself a girlfriend. Who was I kidding, anyway?

And you. I know you have forgotten.

And you.

And you.

And you.





Jesus f*cking Christ.
"No boom today. Boom tomorrow. There’s always a boom tomorrow. What? Look, somebody’s got to have some damn perspective around here. Boom, sooner or later. BOOM!" - Susan Ivanova

Eisa = Beasty's Twin

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Beasty
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Post by Beasty » Mon Jun 08, 2009 4:20 am

Oh and it really doesn't help that my dream last night was of particularly excellent lesbian sex with you.

fuck you
"No boom today. Boom tomorrow. There’s always a boom tomorrow. What? Look, somebody’s got to have some damn perspective around here. Boom, sooner or later. BOOM!" - Susan Ivanova

Eisa = Beasty's Twin

Beasty's Place!

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calypso
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Post by calypso » Mon Jun 08, 2009 9:39 am

i'm not ok. i'm disgustingly fat. i want to si. my family is ringing and i don't want to talk to them. i'm angry at everything and everyone. i hate being hungry.

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Stefani140
just plain inspiring
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Post by Stefani140 » Mon Jun 08, 2009 3:56 pm

How about you tell me what the right answer to that question is. If I say nothing is bothering me then you don't believe me and ask again and again and again until my head wants to explode. If I say yes you freak out about how I'm overreacting! From now on you answer the question for me, cause I'm tired of never doing it right apparently.
"Even if you're the lone voice in the wilderness, it does not mean you're wrong."

PMs, comments, challenges, advice and hugs welcome.

My Place: http://buslist.org/phpBB/viewtopic.php?t=128060

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loveLights
meeting the neighbors
meeting the neighbors
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Post by loveLights » Tue Jun 09, 2009 2:48 am

I did it. They were not lying. I thought it would make things better. I wanted you to hurt as bad as I did, and when I saw your face I had to lie to make you feel better. I want you to forgive me, but you believe me, that I didn't do it, so I don't think that I have the right to hurt you by telling you the truth. I'm also afraid that if I tell you the truth that you will leave. Sometimes I feel like I deserve the things you do because of what I did. I think that I am a different person now, but how far does that go?

Sure, thing are pretty bad at times, but the biggest reason that I want to leave is because of the guilt.

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a7xcncangel
bus conductor
bus conductor
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Post by a7xcncangel » Wed Jun 10, 2009 1:54 am

Dear R

What gives you the right to go trodding off with my ex? You don't even care to ask or confront or warn me or anything, and now you're just all over him and don't give a damn about me.

He's the guy that hurt me and you know damn fucking well he did, yet you keep pursueing him anyways. So stop posting the cute-sy, flirtatious bullshit on facebook-it's rude, annoying, and very inconsiderate. Keep your private life off of the public domain of the internet for Christ's sake.

Congratu-fucking-lations on graduating. Now leave me alone and get the fuck out of town. Just seeing your face makes me swell up with anger. Just piss off and LEAVE MY EX ALONE. YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO DO THAT SHIT YOU'RE DOING! FUCK YOU!!!
Mum: ReineDuSommeil
Sister: waydownsouth, nomad2207, noldo
Brother: sirjnj
Daughter: Azira
Cousin: DuchessN, jadestarwalking
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Beasty
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Post by Beasty » Wed Jun 10, 2009 4:17 am

All I ever do lately is hang out with my mum and dad. If I want to mix it up a little, my aunt will come along. Never anybody my age, really. Why am I always so blasted antisocial?

But you know what? When my mum and dad die, I'll at least be able to look back and say that I spent loads of time with them and have a good relationship. I didn't short myself. (My mum's parents passed away this year and my uncle is learning that idea the hard way). I'll always remember going to the grocery store with my mum or us bringing lunch to dad, but I won't remember half of these shitheads my own age.
"No boom today. Boom tomorrow. There’s always a boom tomorrow. What? Look, somebody’s got to have some damn perspective around here. Boom, sooner or later. BOOM!" - Susan Ivanova

Eisa = Beasty's Twin

Beasty's Place!

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faegirl
building community
building community
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Location: New England. Age: 30ish

Post by faegirl » Wed Jun 10, 2009 3:38 pm

i am very tired of your contradictions.

you say i shouldn't care about our age difference and that age is just a number... unless you think i'm "acting like a 4 year old" and need to grow up

you want a girl who's real, who isn't a "fake bitch" but you'd rather i "pretend to be happy than let depression take over"

you say you want me to be open and honest, but when i am, you're dismissive, patronizing, and tell me that my attitude pisses you off

you say you like me, but you have no idea who i am

i don't know what the hell you want from me. all i know is that i really don't need another person in my life constantly telling me that i'm not good enough... and i tell you that and you don't seem to get it.

what is it that you get out of talking to me? are you one of those people who gets a kick out of knocking other people down?
"lonely doesn't even begin to cover it."

faegirl is notoriously bad at keeping up with places

i :heart: the disco cow :disco:

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ChangeTheWorld
sprouting branches
sprouting branches
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Location: Melbourne, Australia

Post by ChangeTheWorld » Thu Jun 11, 2009 3:41 am

i'm finally getting better, but my hold on this good feeling is tenuous.. do NOT fuck it up.. if we get to know each other better, please, do NOT fuck it up.
Strength.Compassion.Creativity.

"she wonders how many women are walking around this world feeling the tingling of their amputated wings. remembering what it was to fly. to sing." Andrea Gibson "Blue Blanket"

" I come in too many flavours for just one fucking spoon" (Stacey ann chin"Crossfire")

"I want to erase the straight lines, so i can be me" (Stacey-Ann Chin " If only out of vanity")

http://buslist.org/phpBB/viewtopic.php?f=19&t=194582 every challenge met, every obstacle conquered..aka MJ's Brand New Place. Read along as much as you please.

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amyfairy
postinating the countryside
postinating the countryside
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Joined: Tue Mar 02, 2004 10:39 pm
Location: UK

Post by amyfairy » Thu Jun 11, 2009 5:46 pm

restrict/binge/restrict/binge/restrict/binge

ugh, I need to get a control of my eating because I'll end up the size of a fucking house!

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a7xcncangel
bus conductor
bus conductor
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Location: Michigan

Post by a7xcncangel » Thu Jun 11, 2009 9:57 pm

I really like you, but I'm too scared of getting hurt again. I want to kiss you, but I just can't.
Mum: ReineDuSommeil
Sister: waydownsouth, nomad2207, noldo
Brother: sirjnj
Daughter: Azira
Cousin: DuchessN, jadestarwalking
Aunt: Cheycatsgarden

Cyrille
settling in
settling in
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Location: Earth

Post by Cyrille » Fri Jun 12, 2009 4:50 am

I am so tired of ALL OF YOU not listening to me, and not talking to me, and leaving me all alone.
I am so bored, but I can't help myself and if you would just reach out or something, then I promise I would try. I am trying
And what are you doing talking to an ex boyfriend who has hacked your computer, crossed massive important boundaries, poured beer on you, and manipulated you with his suicidal ideation. How is that safe for you?
Well it isn't safe for me, and we'll see less of each other in the future.

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ultimate starshine
buskateer
buskateer
Posts: 19332
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Gender: Feeeeeeeeeemale
Location: Uncivilised Society of the Uk.

Post by ultimate starshine » Fri Jun 12, 2009 6:03 am

I wish you cared
I wish you gave 2 shits.
but you dont
never will
why cant i get that.
Sprink is my wonderful gobby (goblin) daughter
I am 5th Sections mummy
RDS is my amazing sister
Elmoscaresme is my adorable niece
I am Eisa's Fairy

"The marks I make, The steps I take, Prove i still exist" ~ written by me."

"Never let the fear of striking out... stop you from playing the game" - A cinderella story

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falllingdown
sprouting branches
sprouting branches
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Gender: male

Post by falllingdown » Fri Jun 12, 2009 8:24 am

Christ i wish i knew how i could tell you how i feel,
miss talking to you,
worried about how you are and if your safe or not,
just dont know what to do
Justice for the 96

Maybe I just want to fly
I want to live I don't want to die
Maybe I just want to breath
Maybe I just don't believe
Maybe you're the same as me
We see things they'll never see
You and I are gonna live forever

-Oasis - Live Forever

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falllingdown
sprouting branches
sprouting branches
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Post by falllingdown » Fri Jun 12, 2009 4:43 pm

Crazy thing is a have only felt truely free when i did that line and somewhere inside of me i want to go back.
Justice for the 96

Maybe I just want to fly
I want to live I don't want to die
Maybe I just want to breath
Maybe I just don't believe
Maybe you're the same as me
We see things they'll never see
You and I are gonna live forever

-Oasis - Live Forever

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Stefani140
just plain inspiring
just plain inspiring
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Location: Chandler, AZ. age:29
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Post by Stefani140 » Fri Jun 12, 2009 6:07 pm

here we go again. I mention a comment made by someone who happens to be one of my best friend since I was born. someone I've literally known my whole life....and you want to get all insecure and asshurt because it happens to be a guy. I am soooooo sick of this crap. yes I have male friends, deal with it you immature idiot this routine is getting really old.

and for the record, he's married with a new baby. get over yourself.
"Even if you're the lone voice in the wilderness, it does not mean you're wrong."

PMs, comments, challenges, advice and hugs welcome.

My Place: http://buslist.org/phpBB/viewtopic.php?t=128060

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kittyfever
driving instructor
driving instructor
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Location: In the corner

Post by kittyfever » Sat Jun 13, 2009 5:45 am

If you hate me so much then leave!

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amyfairy
postinating the countryside
postinating the countryside
Posts: 23286
Joined: Tue Mar 02, 2004 10:39 pm
Location: UK

Post by amyfairy » Sat Jun 13, 2009 1:39 pm

why do i think that everyone is so much better than me? in theory, i should be clever, i got a first class degree so why do i feel so incapable and as if i have nothing to offer a potential employer. why do i think that everyone else must be doing stuff so much better than me, why do i always feel that my attempt won't be as good. it's an automatic thought and i hate having such incredibly low self-esteem but i don't know how to change it.

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volta
being the change
being the change
Posts: 12338
Joined: Tue Mar 20, 2007 4:27 am

Post by volta » Sat Jun 13, 2009 5:28 pm

daddy, i love you, but you're a jerk. stop reminding me that i'm wearing short sleeves. i know! there's no way i'm wearing thermals in ninety degree weather! and if i'm not ashamed of my scars, then you need to just shut the fuck up.

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