Secrets and more (please stay safe)

smr89 · Post by **smr89** » Wed Dec 26, 2007 8:08 am

What is your secret?

I think I'm feeling this strongly about it because I'm afraid you will want to spend time with her instead of me, or maybe you'd rather talk to her instead of me. Also, I'm afraid you feel you can tell her stuff you can tell me which means you two are close than the two of us. I know, I'm insecure.

Why is it a secret?

In my heart I feel this way but in my head I know its possibly unreasonable and slightly irrational. I fear its not though.

What are your feelings about this secret?

Im makes me mad. Im mad that I feel like this. I'm also mad because I think some or all of those things might be true and that would really hurt me and tick me off.

Why are you telling this secret now?

To help me understand it. And I just need to get it out of me some how.

Is this something you could change/ do differently tomorrow to make your life better?

Yes, I could talk to you about it. I may or may not do that.

Could you challenge yourself to open up to someone about it?

yes, see previous answer

Do you think you are alone in having this secret?

this specific one, yes. but there are other people with similar fears/insecurities

What would you say to someone else with this secret?

Talk to the person. Bring it up the best you can, not in an accusing way, so it doesn't start an argument.

ultimate starshine · Post by **ultimate starshine** » Mon Mar 17, 2008 3:28 am

What is your secret? I still have an invisible friend

Why is it a secret? becuase its too embarrasing for me to tell anyone else

What are your feelings about this secret? I hate it but at the same time it helps me, It helps me knowing there is someone there, but it scares and disgusts me becuiase the friend is not real

Why are you telling this secret now? becuase Im not sure what to do about it, and I wanted to tell someone so badly

Is this something you could change/ do differently tomorrow to make your life better? no. its something that I dont think is going to get better until i sort myself out adn make myself believe that someone who is not there cannot help me.

Could you challenge yourself to open up to someone about it? no. definately not. I cant do it. nope.

Do you think you are alone in having this secret? probably not and if any of you still do at 19yrs of age please PM me please

What would you say to someone else with this secret? I would say that although i have no advice, it is one i have and I would be very game to tlk to anyone who HAS the same secret.

VowsOfSadness · Post by **VowsOfSadness** » Tue Mar 18, 2008 7:15 pm

tags to copy/paste:

What is your secret?
I'm not sure if I'm gay anymore.

Why is it a secret?
Because its confusing. im not sure either way. Its embarrassing.

What are your feelings about this secret?
I feel sick with worry. I feel dumb. I feel scared. I feel pressured. Exposed.

Why are you telling this secret now?
I just want to say it and not have a judgemental response. Not have someone jumping with joy

Is this something you could change/ do differently tomorrow to make your life better?
??? I don't understand

Could you challenge yourself to open up to someone about it?
I mean I have but not fully. I just think they enjoy it too much. I mean Kw's one dream was that I wasn't really gay & he would turn me straight. Is that sick or what?

Do you think you are alone in having this secret?
Yes.

What would you say to someone else with this secret?
I would tell them not to tell anyone. To just stay the same and keep it inside.

nadine-cee · Post by **nadine-cee** » Tue Mar 25, 2008 9:34 pm

What is your secret?
I cant trust anyone any more, not even myself.

Why is it a secret?
Because I know that if I tell people, they will turn their back on me

What are your feelings about this secret?
I hate it, wish it didn't exsist, but there aint anything i can do about it.

Why are you telling this secret now?
To get it off my chest. I keep wanting to screem at someone, how do I know your telling me the truth, yet something stops me.

Is this something you could change/ do differently tomorrow to make your life better?
I could try, but its hard.

Could you challenge yourself to open up to someone about it?
I don't think that would work.

Do you think you are alone in having this secret?
Nope, there are proberly many people who have the same one.

What would you say to someone else with this secret?
Umm, not to sure, try and trust people.

rememberthatiloveyou · Post by **rememberthatiloveyou** » Tue Mar 25, 2008 10:00 pm

What is your secret?
i think i am in love with my best friend

Why is it a secret?
because he thinks i love him like my brother

What are your feelings about this secret?
nothing will ever come of it. i'm not his 'type'

Why are you telling this secret now?
because its been on my mind lately

Is this something you could change/ do differently tomorrow to make your life better? i could try to move on and try to love him as my best friend again

Could you challenge yourself to open up to someone about it?
not really. everyone would think it was really weird, and my girl best friend loved him for a long long time and would be angry at me for it.

Do you think you are alone in having this secret? no, other people have fallen in love with their best friends

What would you say to someone else with this secret?
if you can pursue it then do, if not, try to move on.

rememberthatiloveyou · Post by **rememberthatiloveyou** » Tue Mar 25, 2008 10:04 pm

What is your secret?
i love being miserable

Why is it a secret?
because it is ridiculous

What are your feelings about this secret?
i know it is crazy, but i can't really help it.

Why are you telling this secret now?
because i want to figure out why i feel that way

Is this something you could change/ do differently tomorrow to make your life better?
i could work on loving being happy

Could you challenge yourself to open up to someone about it?
i have opened up to people about si, but always said i am trying to stop and that makes them feel better about it. i think saying that would get me admitted, which i'm not interested in.

Do you think you are alone in having this secret?
no, probably not

What would you say to someone else with this secret?
i don't know, just that i don't anyone else to have to feel like that, so i hope it gets better.

recovering4me · Post by **recovering4me** » Thu Mar 27, 2008 3:57 am

What is your secret?
I want children so badly, but I'm afraid that I'll pass my illness on to them.

Why is it a secret?
I feel stupid about this.

What are your feelings about this secret?
It hurts. It hurts more than anything.

Why are you telling this secret now?
I need to get it out.

Is this something you could change/ do differently tomorrow to make your life better?
no.
Could you challenge yourself to open up to someone about it?
maybe in therapy, eventually.
Do you think you are alone in having this secret?
maybe. but if anyone else has this/ experience. pm me please.
What would you say to someone else with this secret?
i don't know.

VowsOfSadness · Post by **VowsOfSadness** » Mon Jun 23, 2008 6:55 am

What is your secret?
My boyfriend is dead, but It feels like or I pretend that we just haven't been talking. That he's busy or off doing something. I pretend like we're going to talk later

Why is it a secret?
becuase it wouldn't work if I talked about it. "Haven't talked to Jonny in awhile I hope he's okay." Yeah that wouldn't go over well.

What are your feelings about this secret?
Embarrassed, scared, comforted

Why are you telling this secret now?
cause at night (when undeniably jonny would always call me without fail) I am left feeling empty and the need to tied thing over until the morning

Is this something you could change/ do differently tomorrow to make your life better?
I don't know. It's not really making my life worse except for night. I guess I could talk to my therapist about it if I find the courage

Could you challenge yourself to open up to someone about it?
I have to one person. she says she feels the same way.

Do you think you are alone in having this secret?
even with the last answer yes because I think I take it to an extreme

What would you say to someone else with this secret?
slowly get over it

sweetelisum · Post by **sweetelisum** » Tue Jun 24, 2008 1:12 am

What is your secret?
I've been binging and purging nonstop for the last 2 weeks and even did it at my bf's house last night

Why is it a secret?
because its embarassing..it will hurt other people

What are your feelings about this secret?
I feel like shit about it. If i could just control myself and not run to the fast food joint or grocery store and overindulge it would be fine. I'd restrict my calories. It'd be like old times

Why are you telling this secret now?
b/c it makes me feel horrible about myself and i just had to get it out and not worry about what someone might think about me

Is this something you could change/ do differently tomorrow to make your life better?
I could start a 'normal' eating pattern. be more controlled...stop using this as an outlet everytime I get stressed or feel fat or insecure

Could you challenge yourself to open up to someone about it?
I have brought it up to one person...but they have an ed too so they really don't know what to say

Do you think you are alone in having this secret?
definately not

What would you say to someone else with this secret?
Hang in there--get help if you can--or are willing to accept it.

Pissenlit · Post by **Pissenlit** » Mon Sep 22, 2008 7:12 am

What is your secret?

*SA warning*

(copied from the other secrets thread)

I was sexually assaulted when I was a teenager and never told anyone. And when I got home, they yelled at me for being late and told me how irresponsible I was, for not being home on time to take over watching my baby brother because my father was always too drunk or stoned to do so before I even got out of school. I didn't argue that I wasn't the irresponsible one, or that they could have cared why I was a mess or asked me why I was late before they started yelling. I just took it, apologized, and took a really long shower. Then they yelled at me for hogging the bathroom.

I hate my parents more for that day than for anything else they ever did to me.

Why is it a secret?

Because I don't have anyone I can trust to talk about such things with, and the memory is a blur to boot, so I doubt myself when it comes to details of the actual event. I remember the yelling clearly enough. Plus, it was so many years ago, I feel like telling anyone about it now means that I am trapped in the past and dwelling on things that I should have gotten over a long time ago. Oh yeah, and I still don't have a good relationship with my parents.

What are your feelings about this secret?

I feel like I am weak that it still bothers me so many years later. I feel like it would be cathartic to tell someone IRL though. I feel like I can't tell anyone until and unless the blur of the violent parts becomes clear so I know *exactly* what happened.

Why are you telling this secret now?

Because I am saying things on this message board that I would never say to anyone IRL, but I really deep down want to, but don't have anyone to tell.

Is this something you could change/ do differently tomorrow to make your life better?

No. But eventually I hope to find a therapist I trust and maybe be able to talk about it with her.

Could you challenge yourself to open up to someone about it?

I don't have any real friends that I can talk about anything of merit with. At least nothing concerning myself, as none of the people I call "friends" like me enough to care about my issues. They only like me if I entertain them. Maybe one day a therapist.

Do you think you are alone in having this secret?

I know I'm not the only person who was sexually assaulted and didn't tell, but I think the teardown I got afterward from my parents is unique.

What would you say to someone else with this secret?

Further proof that some people should not have had children, if they care so little about their offspring that they ignore obvious signs of distress and instead choose to accuse them of irresponsibility and - ironically - of not caring about the family, when the real person who is irresponsible and doesn't care about the family is one of the ones doing the accusing. If other people's parents have acted this way, then they just shouldn't be parents. I wish people would only have kids if they really want kids. To do otherwise is selfish and - wait for it - irresponsible.

esther_mouse · Post by **esther_mouse** » Wed Sep 24, 2008 1:34 am

What is your secret?
I don't feel like I qualify for help from a doctor for the way I feel and SI and so on.

Why is it a secret?
Because I'm usually not so down on myself about things like this, and it feels wrong to admit that.

What are your feelings about this secret?
I know, rationally, that I hurt myself, have suicical thoughts, and have felt pretty crap for a period of years, but I don't feel like I would be taken seriously, I feel like I don't deserve to be helped, somehow, that somehow what I feel and think about and do aren't really serious. And I hate not being able to reconcile what I feel with what I know. I KNOW that I shouldn't have to feel crap all the time...right? And I KNOW that if I don't get what I need from my doctor, I can shop around...but...I don't know.

Why are you telling this secret now?
Because it's really getting on my nerves, and I maybe need to get a different perspective on it by re-reading it, or by sharing it.

Is this something you could change/ do differently tomorrow to make your life better?
I don't know...I don't know how to change the way I feel about this. Previous experience has shown me that people WILL misunderstand my intentions and ...ok I lost my train of thought there. I hate when that happens. Yeah, I could...maybe go see the doctor and see how it pans out...but I think I need someone else to reassure me it's the right thing to do, first, which is utterly unlike me. So, I guess...I should tell someone?

Could you challenge yourself to open up to someone about it?
That's pretty much the conclusion I just reached, but I have no idea who, it's not really something I feel I can just come out with. It was hard enough writing it here. I emailed the Samaritans, perhaps, in a future email, I could mention it there? They are good at reassuring about things like that, but then...it kinda is their job, maybe they wouldn't mean it.

Do you think you are alone in having this secret?
I don't know, probably not, but I bet the way I feel about it is pretty different.

What would you say to someone else with this secret?
I'd tell them that they DID deserve help, and that they were entitled to serious treatment, and that if their doctor didn't take them seriously they could try a different doctor. Feels wrong to tell myself that though.

kristinnie · Post by **kristinnie** » Wed Sep 24, 2008 3:01 am

What is your secret?
I don't love my husband anymore.

Why is it a secret?
Because I'm not ready to leave.

What are your feelings about this secret?
It's horrible. I'm in an abusive marriage and yet don't want to leave because I don't think I can raise my 3 kids on my own. I also don't want to admit I made a lousy choice in a mate and hear all of the "I told you so"s from my family.

Why are you telling this secret now?
I need to deal with the reality of it.

Is this something you could change/ do differently tomorrow to make your life better?
I could keep on making arrangements to leave and start life over on my own. I could begin to mentally divide up our posessions.

Could you challenge yourself to open up to someone about it?
I'm working on it in therapy.

Do you think you are alone in having this secret?
I'm sure I'm not, but I feel very alone.

What would you say to someone else with this secret?
I'd tell her to leave. Which is ironic because it's the last thing I want to do.

bearcat · Post by **bearcat** » Mon Sep 29, 2008 4:14 am

What is your secret?
I feel really aggressive sometimes. I hate it. I'm tired of worrying about humiliation and this is not the person I want to be. I wonder if the things that I think made me this way are actually valid, or if I was just born with issues, as some people are.

Why is it a secret?
It's impossible to talk to anyone about aggressive feelings. Or attachment stuff. No one cares or understands.

What are your feelings about this secret?
I just want control of my feelings. I think the things I feel are repugnant, and I behave irrationally as a result.

Why are you telling this secret now?
Because lately those feelings get so bad that I want to si. And I can't stand them anymore.

Is this something you could change/ do differently tomorrow to make your life better?
I could call to get a therapy appt. Today already I worked through those feelings, so that I believe that I could get over them, not just manage.

Could you challenge yourself to open up to someone about it?
No. I just want to get better. No one wants to hear about how I feel.

Do you think you are alone in having this secret?
Maybe not. But I am certainly alone in my awful past actions, and it seems like on this board I am alone in being a person with a serious attachment problem.

What would you say to someone else with this secret?
I'd say that it's a long road. That they need to picture what they could be, what they could do. That they'll need to learn to see their feelings from a distance, and not act on them. And I'd tell them to take chances with attaching, and not to believe every catastrophic thought that they have. And that people can heal, and that they won't be aggressive or scared forever.

Sam_Crayon · Post by **Sam_Crayon** » Sat Dec 27, 2008 11:57 pm

What is your secret?
i dont know how much crazy to show, seriously, its making me insane feeling one way and yet acting & appearing to feel another (more posative 'normal' way)

Why is it a secret?
because i know ill freak peopel out if i tell them

What are your feelings about this secret?
if peopel knew maybe theyd be nicer & more suportive, maybe theyde fuck off & take tehi piss, maybe medical peopel would try & help me more, maybe my gf would i dunno hug me (i could do with a hug) probably just add more stress to her though, it stresses me out

Why are you telling this secret now?
better then hurting myself, cant sleep

Is this something you could change/ do differently tomorrow to make your life better?
actually eat before work, be more posative & confidant *ha*

Could you challenge yourself to open up to someone about it?
i have- did not turn out well. i cant tell my gf, i know i have to, AAAAAAARRRRGGGGGGHHHHH

Do you think you are alone in having this secret?
not completly, but every situatoin is different

What would you say to someone else with this secret?
tell someone ha! but when giving advice i usually do the this is what you should do, this is what id do... do this lol. i dunno if i got all the facts about my gf, friends, or lack ther of & stuff, id probably say keep quiet, dont emplode & go back to your doc- which i am gonna do

Twilight · Post by **Twilight** » Sun Dec 28, 2008 5:10 am

What is your secret?

Why is it a secret?
I feel alone and feel like no one is actually there for me
What are your feelings about this secret?
I think that imight be over dramatic but i really think that i am totally alone even though my mom is trying to help she has no idea what i am going through
Why are you telling this secret now?
I felt like if i told it i would feel less alone
Is this something you could change/ do differently tomorrow to make your life better?
no there's nothing i can do to change it
Could you challenge yourself to open up to someone about it?
I don't think i could, i think everyone would just tell me i was being dramatic and looking for attention
Do you think you are alone in having this secret?
No i think there are other people who feel the same way
What would you say to someone else with this secret?
they could talk to me cause i understand and try to find atleast one person the confide in

snowangel_03 · Post by **snowangel_03** » Sun Mar 01, 2009 11:29 pm

What is your secret?
I don't know if my bf is my daughters father.

Why is it a secret?
Because it would destroy a lot of people if they knew or it turned out he wasn't.

What are your feelings about this secret?
It eats away at me every day.

Why are you telling this secret now?
Because I'm fed up of worrying and need to tell SOMEONE.

Is this something you could change/ do differently tomorrow to make your life better?
I could, it would involve a lot of money I don't have though.

Could you challenge yourself to open up to someone about it?
No.

Do you think you are alone in having this secret?
No, I know I'm not.

What would you say to someone else with this secret?
Honestly? I really don't know.

emoboi · Post by **emoboi** » Mon Mar 02, 2009 4:11 am

What is your secret?
im scared that noone will accept me, even more so if they find out i have problems

Why is it a secret?
im used to holding everything inside and im scared

What are your feelings about this secret?
i feel like im hiding myself each and every day
Why are you telling this secret now?
because i want to begin to open up to people
Is this something you could change/ do differently tomorrow to make your life better?
i dont know what there is to do
Could you challenge yourself to open up to someone about it?
i dont know
Do you think you are alone in having this secret?
no i do not because i know im not alone but sometimes it feels that way
What would you say to someone else with this secret?
that it will be alright eventually u have to have some hope or u wont make it

Joseph · Post by **Joseph** » Wed Apr 15, 2009 3:18 am

What is your secret?
I am sexually compulsive

Why is it a secret?
Because I would be know by others the way I know myself

What are your feelings about this secret?
I am ashamed that I can't stop

Why are you telling this secret now?
It is not a secret here but I want to act out and am trying not to by keeping myself distracted here.

Is this something you could change/ do differently tomorrow to make your life better?
Ask for help like I need not instead of apologizing for being weak and a failure

Could you challenge yourself to open up to someone about it?
I have but it does not really help

Do you think you are alone in having this secret?
No but that does not really matter

What would you say to someone else with this secret?
It is OK. We all learn to cope in different ways. We can learn to cope healthier with the help of others

DecemberLivy · Post by **DecemberLivy** » Thu Apr 16, 2009 12:43 am

What is your secret?

recently I've been feeling an urge to go to church

Why is it a secret?

Because all of my family and close friends are firm atheists

What are your feelings about this secret?

It makes me feel angry and restricted, but also fustrated with myself that I let other peoples views affect me in this way

Why are you telling this secret now?

Because I don't feel I can tell anyone irl, they wouldn't understand

Is this something you could change/ do differently tomorrow to make your life better?

I honestly don't think so. It's sad to think I don't have one close friend who shares my faith

Could you challenge yourself to open up to someone about it?

perhaps but no one springs to mind

Do you think you are alone in having this secret?

it is quite odd I think, it's usually the atheist struggling to break away from religion rather than the theist struggling to break away from atheism

What would you say to someone else with this secret?

its awful to not feel able to let others see the true you, it makes me feel like I'm back in the closet again. if you really can't make it to church, try and practise your faith in smaller more private ways

Speranza · Post by **Speranza** » Thu Apr 16, 2009 5:36 am

What is your secret?
I'm really good at looking fine on the outside. I'm so tired of being fake happy all the time. I want someone to find out, I want someone to care. I can't handle the SI and the constant SU thoughts. I don't think I'm strong enough.

Why is it a secret?
Because I'm afraid if they do find out, they'll judge and isolate me.

What are your feelings about this secret?
It's eating me alive. I want it out, one way or another.

Why are you telling this secret now?
Because I know I won't be judged here, and that I can tell you. I need to tell someone.

Is this something you could change/ do differently tomorrow to make your life better?
It's a state of mind, an illness that I have spent years trying to change, only to find out it doesn't work out that way. I hate the people who think depressed people can just pull ourselves out of it.

Could you challenge yourself to open up to someone about it?
I have opened up to one friend, who doesn't really believe me or take me seriously. If I'm going to get that reaction from others, why bother?

Do you think you are alone in having this secret?
No. Just reading this thread I can see that.

What would you say to someone else with this secret?
There are people who care and understand. You can get help. Now repeat what I just said, because I am really bad at taking my own advice.

Secrets and more (please stay safe)

Who is online