is this normal?

tips on how to cope: dealing with your feelings, dealing with the consequences of self-harm in your life. share your ideas and maybe pick up some new skills, too. you don't have to want to stop to learn something new here.

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KayBad2531
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is this normal?

Post by KayBad2531 » Tue Mar 17, 2009 3:00 am

About 3 months ago i finally admited to my boyfriend of almost a year that ive been cutting. we talk about it and try to find what my triggers are. Ive done research and tried some other methods, but none of this seems to be helping. it actually seems to be getting worse. Its on my mind so much more and when i do cut, they are deeper. Is this normal in the first stages of recovery?

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Post by zazie » Sun Mar 22, 2009 6:58 pm

I've had the same thing. It varies, but sometimes focusing on it more and thinking about it more, even in a healthy, why-not-to-SI way can lead to more urges. I think it comes from relying heavily on distraction and not thinking about it as a technique to deal with urges. When I do think about it, it's harder to find a way to not do it.

I'm not sure if it's making things worse in the long run or not. If it does, it might be good to change and limit how and when the thinking about it and figuring it out happens. Like, for example, less analyzing urges when they happen, and more analyzing them at calmer moments?

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Post by sindy » Sun Mar 22, 2009 7:33 pm

for me, i have periods of time where i dont cut for a month or so, but then i have a slip, and i can be cutting every night for a month or so.
it fluctuates a lot for me, so i think it is normal to go up and down with how often you're doing it and how bad it is.
i hope you're okay.
take care.

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Licentia Poetica
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Post by Licentia Poetica » Mon Mar 23, 2009 8:39 am

You're not in recovery yet unfortunately :(

The thing is, you cut because you're unhappy.. Because there are things going on that make you sad or stress you out. It's hard just to "stop" hurting yourself without working on these issues too.

It's like.. you have a cough and the flu. The cough is a symptom of the flu. You have to drink tea and rest up and everything until the flu goes away and then the cough lessens on its own.

It's wonderful that you are trying to lessen your self harm - and that does help, because it means you are dealing with your feelings rather than getting rid of them.

But, it is going to be hard, and yes it is normal to have fallbacks, to only be able to think about the thing you're so used to using when you're down.

Do you have anyone to talk to like a counsellor or teacher?

Oh, and welcome to bus by the way :) :moo: If you go over to the "bodies under siege" board and post that you're new, you'll get a proper welcome :)
:redstar: the time to tell a person you care is now :redstar: the paper crane chain of hope :redstar:

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