Just One Victory - Coping With Substance Abuse Problems

tips on how to cope: dealing with your feelings, dealing with the consequences of self-harm in your life. share your ideas and maybe pick up some new skills, too. you don't have to want to stop to learn something new here.

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Spidey
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Post by Spidey » Thu Nov 27, 2008 4:33 am

This holiday* - Thanksgiving - is difficult for a lot of us. What are <i>you</i> doing to keep - or lead you to - sobriety - on what is often a difficult holiday for many?


_____

* Thanksgiving is a US holiday; I apologize if this is ethnocentric; if anyone could provide a list of US/UK/Canada/European holidays (or anywhere else, for those of you outside of North America/Europe) - I'd be grateful so that I could ask the same question to everyone.
there is, in the end, the letting go.
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Post by myfriendscallmeerika » Thu Nov 27, 2008 9:26 pm

ive found something that has really been helping me not give in to cravings.... when i want to use i
1. identify why. i dont know if in the future i will develop a plan to avoid triggers, or different plans of action depending on the type of trigger, or what. i just know that it helps, for me, to know *why* i am feeling the way i do.
2. and this one is huge. acknowledge the craving and then realize that it is nothing more than a craving. just because i *want* to do something does not mean i *will* do it. just because i *want* to do something doesnt mean that i *need* to or *have* to.

i explained #2 to my hubby and he chuckled, "you're just not realizing this?" he says. well, kind of. my perception is skewed i suppose about certain things. i have to set it straight in my head that i can control my actions even in the middle of a bad jonsin. saying to myself, {yes you want to use and its fine to want that but just because i *want* to doesnt mean i *have* to. and in the end i'm not going to so i think i'll just put that craving aside} actually feels pretty good. like im exercising some sort of power and control.

other than this, electric prophet, i dont know. i cut ties with all my connections. i set up counseling. ive let all buyers know that i quit. i dont really know what else i can do... do you? suggestions are more than welcome:)

luv
erika

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Post by Spidey » Sun Nov 30, 2008 2:10 am

Are there any support groups in your area? like NA or AA? Sometimes the 12-step approach works. Your mileage may vary on that.

This may sound dumb but for me Day One of stopping is...every day. Even though I'm sober, and I have been for a while, I still treat every day as if it is my first. That way I never lose the gratitude and enthusiasm that I have.
there is, in the end, the letting go.
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Post by Angel12 » Sun Nov 30, 2008 3:53 am

I'm completely off alcohol 6 days now. god I am getting so angry and fighting so hard to keep of it. I am with my family now, so they are a big help, I want to do this, but when I start feeling like this , I always give in.
I know it will pass
Angel
:(
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Post by microsue » Sun Nov 30, 2008 12:49 pm

soloangel wrote:I'm completely off alcohol 6 days now. god I am getting so angry and fighting so hard to keep of it. I am with my family now, so they are a big help, I want to do this, but when I start feeling like this , I always give in.
I know it will pass
Angel
:(
Hi Angel,
Just a thought: instead of "I always give in", how about trying this: "I used to give in" :uhhh:

:lpurpstar: :lpurpheart:

--microsue
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If kindness is a revolution, let it begin here. --Gregory Castle, No More Homeless Pets in Utah
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"Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe.
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.
Lewis Carroll
(from memory, so some words are prb.spelled wrong.)

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Post by microsue » Mon Dec 01, 2008 2:35 am

Hi all, :wavey:

I'm going to introduce myself the easy way by answering Electric Prophet's questions. :wink:
Electric Prophet wrote:Are there any support groups in your area? like NA or AA? Sometimes the 12-step approach works. Your mileage may vary on that.
I was given a choice between going to NA or being turned in; I chose NA. This was probably the best decision I ever made. 26 Dec. 2006 is my Clean Date, so I'm close to 2 years clean (drugs, incl. alcohol)!!! :1hurray:

26 June 2006 is my Clean Date for si. The longest I've ever gone before this was 2 years, and I've been si-ing for roughly 40 years. (I'm 50.)

I have been in an Assisted Living facility since March 2006. My Case Manager got me in by threatening that otherwise her organization would stop referring Medicare patients to them. (I'm only on Medicaid--for the very poor. Medicare, on the other hand, is the big money-maker in nursing homes and Assisted Living Centers.) I si'd really badly the preceeding Feb. and almost died, so the nursing home where I was living kicked me out.

Moved in here in March 2006 (30 days notice), and have had to go to monthly meetings, renewing my lease for the following month, ever since. I briefly managed to persuade them to accept "small" si's by saying it wasn't fair to expect me to stop cold turkey without any other coping strategies in place :o :o :o , but that ended when I again did major damage, though strictly speaking I didn't break the terms of the contract with them. :roll: 8)

The new contracts--one with my Case Manager and my facility, and the other with my new therapist--were signed 25 June 2006, hence my si clean time.

(Note: it has been shown scientifically that repetitive si can become addictive by inducing the release of endorphins on the brain. I have read several papers and reviewed the conclusions of a fairly large study of si-ers, and it looks legit. As a scientist by heart and by education, i can be pretty rigorous about this sort of thing; testimonials just don't hack it.)

Sorry--must go (NA meeting), so I'll continue this later. :roll: :tongue:

microsue :scatter: /mouse :mus:
& my trusty (companion & service) dog, Gizmo :1dog:
If kindness is a revolution, let it begin here. --Gregory Castle, No More Homeless Pets in Utah
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"Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe.
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.
Lewis Carroll
(from memory, so some words are prb.spelled wrong.)

Image Image Image 3 years si-free {and counting...}

:snail:

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an "over the cuckoo's nest" place

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Post by Angel12 » Fri Dec 05, 2008 8:09 am

I actually made it to a week sober Wednesday :)
Hard but I am really trying to keep of it for good, this time.
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Post by myfriendscallmeerika » Sat Dec 06, 2008 11:08 pm

hmmm, well as for na, i really do enjoy when i can go long enough to begin to feel comfortable to share. which is like...... 3 or 4 monthes, lol. something about walking into a roomful of strangers who automatically know im an addict as soon as i walk thru the door is unnerving for me, so much so that i usually have to take a xanex before i even go in unless i want to deal with a serious panic attack for the first 10 minutes or so of the meeting, which of course leaves me barely able to croak out "hi im erika and im an addict" during introductions....

to share i would need another xanex otherwise i cannot hear myself speaking over the beating of my heart and actually hyperventilate so badly that the nasty tingly numbing make me puke feeling spreads all the way from my tummy to my arms and hands... no lie, no overdramatization... this has happened. at one meeting they did things a little differently and whoever had just shared had to pick the next person to share...so of course i was put on the spot expected to share waaaay before i was ready and by the time i was done my hands looked like they belonged to a 90yr old lady severly riddled with rhematoid arthritis... (if you've had bad panic attacks you'll probably know what im talking about..)

the other thing about na is that i hate going back with my fkn tail tucked between my legs, everyone knowing, having not seen me for months and months, that i've been on hiatus with the ever glorious relapse... its a shitty feeling...

but i should probably go back. if i stick with it long enough to get to know some of the ppl (i did this once and stayed sober 9mnts) well enough that i can bring myself to start sharing then its really helpful....

luv
erika

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Post by sockr28 » Fri Dec 12, 2008 7:02 pm

haven't been to this thread in a long time. its weird going back and reading my old posts from over a year ago. i vaguely remember that time. the sad thing, is its been over a year and things aren't better, in fact, they are worse.

i cant tell you the last time that i didnt drink. until this week, i couldnt really tell you the last time that i wasnt drunk. i binge drink every night. normally alone. i make really bad decisions when i am drinking too. i dont remember most things that happen at night before i pass out. most mornings when i wake up, i have to think about what day it is and what i have to do. sometimes this is easier said than done.

i finally started to feel the real physical effects to my body from my continued binge drinking. it kind of scared me, but not hugely. i realized that i had let it go way too far. i have been concerned about my drinking for about the last two years, and in that time, the amount and frequency has only increased. if i was concerned two years ago, what about now?

anyways, so i decided to try and cut back. try not to binge drink every day. the urges to drink are so strong. and normally once i start, its all over. i am at the point that i just cant not drink. the past three days, i have only drank enough to keep me from feeling sick. i am hoping that it is just psychological and not physical. it scares the hell out of me though. what if i really am addicted to alcohol? i know that i need to see a doctor, or t or something, but i am to scared and nervous right now. when i think about it, i just get huge anxiety attacks. also, i dont have a doctor or t currently, so where do i start? i cant imagine going to someone the first time sharing this and being truthful. but i do know that i need help.

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Post by PLAIN JANE » Tue Jan 13, 2009 7:09 am

Just found this thread.......
sockr28 ..Hello!
I've been clean bout a year and a half..if you have to drink to not be sick..you maybe need to think about rehab..docs there to keep you from potentially dangerous withdrawals...
There's also A.A. their in the phone book..many kinds of help out there..you could also look on-line..
I'm always around if ya want to pm me..I can give you more info..
Take care!
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Post by Spidey » Tue Feb 24, 2009 9:55 pm

I am going to try to give up alcohol for Lent. God only knows how well this will succeed since there is a 110% probability that I'll get *really* sick.
there is, in the end, the letting go.
-marya hornbacher

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Post by Luscious Peanut » Fri Feb 27, 2009 7:05 pm

when is lent? I went to catholic schools till 8th grade and have since blocked that out of my memory.
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Post by PLAIN JANE » Fri Feb 27, 2009 7:39 pm

Hello!
stopping drinking...if you drink alot...can be dangerous.
It can cause seizures and bad physical problems..always best to speak to a doctor...there are meds. to help with this..
I just wanted to mention this.
Reading and caring..
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Post by Luscious Peanut » Fri Feb 27, 2009 8:23 pm

I agree. Unlike some of the "harder" drugs out there, you can actually die from alcohol withdrawal. See you doctor. (S)he'd he so happy to help.
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Post by VowsOfSadness » Wed Mar 18, 2009 4:52 pm

Despite my boyfriends addiction to a very hard drug I haven't done it nor have I gone back to my drug of choice. And in fact I haven't drank to cope with it.

Which I guess I never really notice because I focus so much on him getting clean & his wins & losses, that I forget a year ago in this situation I wouldn't be clean & sober.

So pats on the back to myself lol.

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Post by ChangeTheWorld » Thu Mar 19, 2009 12:53 pm

i've been thinking about using every day for the last 12 months... i know i'd mess myself up and probably make someone very sick if they shared with me.. (i have hep c, but i am fine and have almost cleared it) i am in a good place with support and am talking to a wonderful person who i have really bonded with... i just can't fucken get a handle on these cravings.
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Post by kalayla » Thu Mar 19, 2009 1:51 pm

I really need to stop smoking pot, but the thing is... I dont want to give it up
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Post by ChangeTheWorld » Mon Mar 23, 2009 12:39 pm

i do too kaykay, but i don't want to give it up either
Strength.Compassion.Creativity.

"she wonders how many women are walking around this world feeling the tingling of their amputated wings. remembering what it was to fly. to sing." Andrea Gibson "Blue Blanket"

" I come in too many flavours for just one fucking spoon" (Stacey ann chin"Crossfire")

"I want to erase the straight lines, so i can be me" (Stacey-Ann Chin " If only out of vanity")

http://buslist.org/phpBB/viewtopic.php?f=19&t=194582 every challenge met, every obstacle conquered..aka MJ's Brand New Place. Read along as much as you please.

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Post by Spidey » Mon Jul 06, 2009 2:50 pm

My one victory is staying sober, during what was a very difficult time emotionally.
there is, in the end, the letting go.
-marya hornbacher

spidey immer voran
(spidey ever onward)

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