Things Left Unsaid - Version 3.0 *Language*

tips on how to cope: dealing with your feelings, dealing with the consequences of self-harm in your life. share your ideas and maybe pick up some new skills, too. you don't have to want to stop to learn something new here.

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Joseph
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Post by Joseph » Sat Feb 21, 2009 3:28 pm

I am loosing my mind. All I deserve is to be abandoned. You tought me that it is all I am worthless of even a word or a glare. Will you stay if I let you hurt me. I have hurt myself to punish myself because you will not tell me why you left. I do not know what I have done for you to hate me so. Is it just because I AM. I am too much of a coward to become not I AM. My tears and my crys fall unnoticed about my face and ears but still you are unmoved to even look this way. I push everyone away so I can be here for you. I debase myself so to show you that you were right to to just turn you back on me like I do not exist. I drive everyone away to so I can remember what it feels like again when you left me behind. I am the bastard son of your father but I loved you
My name is Joseph, formally sirjnj.
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I have a BUS family now :)
SprinkleZ, Kate, and a7xcncangel are my sisters

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acdcrocker1909
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Location: Little Blue dot in a sea of Red

Post by acdcrocker1909 » Sat Feb 21, 2009 3:49 pm

:star: I'm dating a girl. Yes. A girl. I've been dating her for over 4 months. I've fallen in love with her. I could see myself spending the majority of my life with her. And I know you aren't going to approve. I know I'm going to break most of the family's hearts. What scares me is I think Dad would accept me before you. And he's homophobic [well.. his version of it].. and you're more accepting.. but only of gay -boys-.. You wanted a boy when you were pregnant with me.. maybe you got a form of it.. but you're probably going to despise and hate me for it. All I want is to love and be loved in return, and I get this with a girl. With a girl I am completely, madly in love with. She makes me feel amazing. I wanna spend my life with her.

:bluestar:
It does not do to dwell on dreams, and forget to live - APWBD.


Music is life.. we each have our own symphony.. and we control it for the most part.. sometimes instruments drop out.. and others join in.. but when the music fades and the symphony is done.. then we have created a beautiful, personal piece. - Me.

Less Traveled Roads <-- Everyone Welcome.

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Chey Kizoxie

Post by Chey Kizoxie » Sat Feb 21, 2009 7:59 pm

i cant do all this work its too much but i dont know how to say enough...

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KLove24
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just plain inspiring
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Location: somewhere, yet nowhere

Post by KLove24 » Sun Feb 22, 2009 4:11 am

F@ck you. You think he loves you so much. Really.. so much. You would die if you knew the things he told me about you. All the times he's told me that he doesn't care. Screw you both.
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volta
being the change
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Post by volta » Sun Feb 22, 2009 3:15 pm

you asked me how i'm doing today.
i said "good."
then you asked me if i was sure.
the real answer is no. i'm miserable.

Chey Kizoxie

Post by Chey Kizoxie » Sun Feb 22, 2009 4:11 pm

lang and abuse trig...

Why do you treat me like a kid you need to lecture because i supposidly was "shealded" from the world. yet wont lecture you teen cause "he is just a kid" . oh and for the fucken record, i was not shealded from anything. i was raped, and emotionaly and physicaly abused and you know all this but still say i was shealded and protected from the real world. OMG you are so fucking stupid and ignorant. sometimes i wish i could just keep you out of my life, you only bring me down.

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5th section
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Post by 5th section » Sun Feb 22, 2009 7:02 pm

Alright, alright, I know all is meant to be fair in love & war...but you've known her a lot longer than I have, if you were going to make your move couldn't you have done it a year or more ago, instead of waiting for me to turn up, fall head over heels for her and then you decide it's a good moment...
I may sometimes act like I'm auditioning for the part of Tristan but it doesn't mean what I feel isn't genuine
...then one day I realised that the people you see in waiting rooms and car parks and on trains are really far more interesting. That they all have whole novels inside them, a fabric of scar tissues, photos and memories. They are comedies and tragedies and - more often - both at the same time.
- Anna James (1984-2007)

son of ultimate starshine / brother of Eisa & Sprink / Birdie's ornithologist / married to Mande / Chey's uncle
- my place
- my band (or more accurately, the band of which I am the bassist) some SI/SU triggers in lyrics...proceed with caution...

GOING STRAIGHT SINCE 1ST DECEMBER 2009

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DecemberLivy
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Post by DecemberLivy » Sun Feb 22, 2009 11:58 pm

I hate how attracted to you I am. I hate it so much because I thought I'd got everything figured out and then... suddenly it's like you're reborn. I never even noticed you breathing before. And I know I flirt shamelessly with you, and you're allowed to flirt back, and no one takes any notice of you because they know which side I bat for. I hate that I find myself thinking about you at times when usually you'd be the last person on my mind.
I don't want to date you, I don't want cuddling or soppy texts from you. I just enjoy being around you now in a way which I never did before. I used to hate you, but since you found out it's like theres some connection between us. Electric air, long looks, the whole lot. I hate it, it's not who I thought I was! I just can't help finding you so attractive. And that time when we were so drunk and you gave me a cigarette and said 'ohh I'd kiss you right now if I were allowed' and we laughed it off hahahaha when actually I was screaming in my head: yes! let's do that!
I don't know if I can handle seeing you anymore.
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I think I'll paint roads
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Lynds
meeting the neighbors
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Post by Lynds » Mon Feb 23, 2009 9:00 pm

Don't ever fucking speak to me like that again.
"She would never know, because he would never tell her. Somehow if she’d known the worst parts, she couldn’t have gone on being a haven for him… He needed her ignorance to hide in. Yet at the same time, he wanted to know and be known as deeply as possible. And the two desires were irreconcilable"
From Regeneration by Pat Barker

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Peege
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Post by Peege » Mon Feb 23, 2009 10:07 pm

i hate you because you want me to live.
i hate me because i hate you.
i love you

And the birds up on the wires and the telegraph poles
They can always fly away from this rain and this cold


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ambivalent red
growing roots
growing roots
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Location: buried deep inside of me

Post by ambivalent red » Tue Feb 24, 2009 4:09 am

If I lose you I will crumble to pieces.
The fact that you even said to get on Cobra and you wont work with me except on a sliding scale pisses me off. I can afford cobra, Im unemployed. Why wont you work with my hubby's insurance, cant we even try.
I dont know what will happen to me if i lose you.
Read below, that also is for you...
There's no where to run
There's no where to hide
From what's in your mind - It's a Ghetto
-Supreme Beings Leisure

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nomad2207
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Post by nomad2207 » Tue Feb 24, 2009 4:38 am

you didn't even say goodbye... :cry:
"i took the path less traveled and it has made all the difference."
nomad's place...here i grow again
if you look in the mirror and don't like what you see, you can find out firsthand what it's like to be me.
if it looks like i'm laughing, i'm really just asking to leave.
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my bus family:a7xcncangel sister

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zombiepeople
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Location: next to the spooky bus stop...i've never seen a bus there though...hmm
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Post by zombiepeople » Tue Feb 24, 2009 5:04 am

...thanks...even though we really don't get along well, you really helped me out today and I appreciate that so much, even though I'm too afraid to actually tell you in person...
"Wouldn't it be great to heal the world with only a song?"
~Serj Tankian
"Honking Antelope

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Sprinklez
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Post by Sprinklez » Tue Feb 24, 2009 11:55 pm

***sex trigs***



D-

Fuck i hate you!
You know that right?
A is NOT a slut.
She's supposed to be the sensible, responsible, and level headed one in the group.
She keeps me and B sane. Keeps us safe. Talks us out of stupid shit.
Or atleast she used to. She's so clueless about sex. You're gonna get her pregnant and we all know it.
And we know you don't care.
She's not a fucking slut. But that's how you're treating her.
Sex is supposed to be an expression of love. And guess what?
She fucking loves you more than anyone in this world. She thinks the world of you. That's the only reason you're getting b*** j**s from her.
Because she loves you.
But you know what else? She says that about every guy she dates. It's not love for either of you. It'd lust and infatuation.
Leave my best friend the hell alone!
I swear to god, you hurt her again and I'll kill you.
8-21-04
5-17-2021
9/11/17 </3

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catylyx,ver.2
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Post by catylyx,ver.2 » Wed Feb 25, 2009 6:52 am

Some days all i want to do is stay in bed and cry...i wish you could see how much i really am trying. i know its not what you expect of me...but i am trying.

-----

i'm not complete when you aren't here. you keep me level, sane, and able to function throughout my day without wanting to fall into a heap at the end of it.
i love you.
come back to me soon?

-----

grow. some. balls.
i like you. your nice. but in order for me to not throttle you for the love of god just be yourself and stop over obsessing about what i think or what other people think. its a turn off. stop.

-----

i'm sorry i'm not calling. i'm sorry i've become a horrible friend/daughter/grandaughter/sister.
i truly am.
i just....don't think about it. i'm always scared of the "how are you" questions. i don't know what to tell you.
i'm scared.
i miss him more than you guys realize.
i'm trying but some days i want to give up.
i miss all of you.

-------

i want to go home....but i don't want to feel like i've given up and failed everyone again.

:redstar:


Chey Kizoxie

Post by Chey Kizoxie » Thu Feb 26, 2009 11:25 am

please dont insist i take some of the kittens... i have no money or room for more cats.

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5th section
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Post by 5th section » Thu Feb 26, 2009 1:56 pm

I know what I want to hear tonight, & it's not to anyone's good except mine, but is it wrong to still want it? I hate being selfish...
I'm in love with you. please give me a chance
Last edited by 5th section on Tue Mar 03, 2009 1:10 am, edited 1 time in total.
...then one day I realised that the people you see in waiting rooms and car parks and on trains are really far more interesting. That they all have whole novels inside them, a fabric of scar tissues, photos and memories. They are comedies and tragedies and - more often - both at the same time.
- Anna James (1984-2007)

son of ultimate starshine / brother of Eisa & Sprink / Birdie's ornithologist / married to Mande / Chey's uncle
- my place
- my band (or more accurately, the band of which I am the bassist) some SI/SU triggers in lyrics...proceed with caution...

GOING STRAIGHT SINCE 1ST DECEMBER 2009

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KLove24
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just plain inspiring
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Location: somewhere, yet nowhere

Post by KLove24 » Fri Feb 27, 2009 2:45 am

I miss you
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Beasty
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Post by Beasty » Fri Feb 27, 2009 8:57 pm

I don't want to; I don't want to; I don't want to; I don't want to; I don't want to:.........

I DON'T WANT TO DO THIS!!!!!!!
"No boom today. Boom tomorrow. There’s always a boom tomorrow. What? Look, somebody’s got to have some damn perspective around here. Boom, sooner or later. BOOM!" - Susan Ivanova

Eisa = Beasty's Twin

Beasty's Place!

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snowangel_03
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Post by snowangel_03 » Fri Feb 27, 2009 9:29 pm

I miss you so much.
You will never know how much.
I will always love you.
And you will never again give me a second though.
If things had been different would you still be there?
I wish you told me you were going to leave me.
Maybe then I could of gotten on with my life...
> Give SnowAngel HUGS <
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:tslug: Last SI: -- Image

> My Sigillum Diaboli - Read 1stPost <

KLove24's twin | Owns ultimate starshine | Haven's special RW buddy
Oftentimes all we need is a thought or a message to help us see another side to the problem,
or just some hope that life will be better - magicmum

Hugs & PM's are fine
The Truth that can set Souls Free is Buried within Sweet Pandemonium
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