Things Left Unsaid - Version 3.0 *Language*

tips on how to cope: dealing with your feelings, dealing with the consequences of self-harm in your life. share your ideas and maybe pick up some new skills, too. you don't have to want to stop to learn something new here.

Moderators: Spidey, noldo

Locked
User avatar
pelagic
sock rocker
sock rocker
Posts: 3615
Joined: Mon Jul 09, 2007 8:16 am
Gender: Female
Location: International Waters

Post by pelagic » Tue Jan 13, 2009 12:24 pm

WHY CAN'T YOU FUCKING LOVE ME

Chey Kizoxie

Post by Chey Kizoxie » Tue Jan 13, 2009 2:46 pm

D: thankyou our conversation this past weekend made me feel so good. Even though we have our rough spots and sometimes you still annoy me im still really glad your my dad. :heart:


M: Who knows if I would be happier or not. All I know is I am happy, happy that I am finishing something I started and noone can take that away from me. Ever. :star:


J: You are the coolest most kickass brother in the whole world and I am glad your MY brother :heart:

C: I love you and you are so important to me and im glad your in my life :heart:

User avatar
mephistopheles
cow control
cow control
Posts: 24355
Joined: Thu May 26, 2005 4:40 pm
Location: London

Post by mephistopheles » Tue Jan 13, 2009 3:16 pm

I can't, I can't. I can't do it. It's too much now.
“Where you used to be, there is a hole in the world, which I find myself constantly walking around in the daytime, and falling in at night. I miss you like hell.”

User avatar
myfriendscallmeerika
growing roots
growing roots
Posts: 824
Joined: Tue Nov 04, 2008 7:29 am
Location: Hillbilly Hell Arkansas

Post by myfriendscallmeerika » Tue Jan 13, 2009 3:27 pm

to husband: there are so many things about me that you just dont *get* and it fucking pisses me off to no end

User avatar
acdcrocker1909
forum moderator emeritus
forum moderator emeritus
Posts: 10453
Joined: Fri Dec 10, 2004 3:42 am
Gender: Transguy
Location: Little Blue dot in a sea of Red

Post by acdcrocker1909 » Tue Jan 13, 2009 9:21 pm

You. Piss. Me. Off. Fuck you.

:bluestar:
It does not do to dwell on dreams, and forget to live - APWBD.


Music is life.. we each have our own symphony.. and we control it for the most part.. sometimes instruments drop out.. and others join in.. but when the music fades and the symphony is done.. then we have created a beautiful, personal piece. - Me.

Less Traveled Roads <-- Everyone Welcome.

Image

User avatar
vampirelover
spiffy maximus
spiffy maximus
Posts: 4149
Joined: Tue Apr 17, 2007 8:45 pm
Gender: F
Location: London ish(England), age : 21

Post by vampirelover » Wed Jan 14, 2009 1:55 pm

your my parents ur supposed to love me
whether im straight , gay or bisexual shouldnt make a different
but then again your also meant to protect me and you couldnt do that right
you should hate the people that did this for me
you should hug me when i cry at night
you should let me talk with out judging me

I forgive you for failing at protecting me so why cant you love me for being myself
longest with no slips - 2 years , 6 months
time since last slip : 2 days

User avatar
vampirelover
spiffy maximus
spiffy maximus
Posts: 4149
Joined: Tue Apr 17, 2007 8:45 pm
Gender: F
Location: London ish(England), age : 21

Post by vampirelover » Wed Jan 14, 2009 2:01 pm

i admit i should have been there for you and i wasnt im sorry
im sorry that i was selfish and concentrated on myself when you where in pain
I want to tell you truth about why i wasnt there and everything i went through before and when you where ill
but im scared that youl care
im scared that you will understand
I find it hard to find any common ground with you
but we were best mates for 13 years we must have had more in common than are misery
I love you and i will never forget you
longest with no slips - 2 years , 6 months
time since last slip : 2 days

User avatar
Sprinklez
post laureate
post laureate
Posts: 11122
Joined: Mon Jun 09, 2008 2:44 am
Gender: f

Post by Sprinklez » Thu Jan 15, 2009 1:34 am

Al~I fucking hate how every boyfriend you've ever had is more important to you than me. When I've always been the one you go to, I've always been the one you complain to, I've ALWAYS dealt with your bullshit and not once did I EVER complain. Yet you date a guy for a month and he's your whole fucking life. And guess what? I'm the one who has to clean up the mess he leaves behind. When some ass breaks your heart I'm the one who deals with the weeks of pain and heartbrake that follow. I'm the one who picks up the pieces, brushes them off, and slowly but surely reassembles your heart, bit by bit. And I never complain, not once. You wanna know why? I'm completely 100 percent in love with you! You're my best friend and the girl I wish was I was with. Yes, we're both girls, and yes I've never been with another girl, neither have you. So fucking what? It doesn't change how I feel about you. So go ahead, replace me, treat me like crap, break my fucking heart. Go on and be the cold hearted bitch you are. And when he breaks it off, I'll be here, like always, your shoulder to cry on, just like always. Never to be anything more.

Jo~I'm sorry I'm not good enough. I'm sorry everything I do is wrong. I'm soo fucking sorry I'm not the niece you wanted. I wish more than anything that you'd just accept me for me. Accept the broken, depressed, bisexual, self harming fuck up I truly am. I wish more than anything I could tell you all these things with out fearing your reaction. You're so fucking closed minded and old fashioned. I'm fourteen freakin years old, give me some freedom. Learn to trust me. I swear I wont fuck it up.


Mom~Thank you so much. Thanks for leaving me. Thanks for fucking up my life. Thank you so much for treating me like a pain in the ass, rather than your oldest daughter. I was your first born, but you dont give a shit. Why is she the favorite? Why does she get everything while me and Sam get nothing?? Why does Sen get her way by bitching about everything when I get freaked on for asking one time. Do you really think it's fair? Honestly? She lives with you, 300 miles away from where I am. And on the rare occassions I do get to see you, I cant even spend one day alone with you?? Thanks mom. Thank you soo much for ruining my life. Why did you have to go and get knocked up at sixteen?? Smoking weed? Great choice mom, fucking brilliant. By the way, I blame YOU for my lack of freedom. You were trusted and you blew it. If you could've kept your freaking legs closed as a teen, I'd actually be trusted. Fuck you mom.

Son~I'm so sorry. I wish I could turn back time and relive your last few moments with you. I wish more than anything that you were still here. I love you. I always will. You were so much more than my uncle, you were my father figure, the man in the house, the one I looked up to for eleven years of my life. You were my guide, my mentor, and much more than that, you were my best friend. I could tell you anything. And I told you damn near everything. Sure I smile and act like everything's fine. But no one knows the hell I go through on the inside when I think of you. Im not your innocent little girl, and for that I'm sorry. I've changed, mostly for the worst, and you're probably up there looking down thinking "where did I go wrong?". You didn't. I did. And I truly am sorry. I wish I could walk out into the living room and find you asleep on the couch. I wish Things would go back to how it used to be, how it should be. I wish I could bring you back and stop you from getting cancer, but I cant. Dont think I havent tried, believe me I have. R.I.P I love you..

Z~I feel like we're in a rut. We have the same five conversations over and over again, for better then twelve hours a day, everyday. I love you. Nothing will ever change that. But you're so damn depressed. I hate it. I wish you were happy. No..scratch that. I NEED you to be happy. It depresses the fuck out of me when you're unhappy. I cant take it. I lied, you do annoy me, a lot, but I can deal with it. Please just..I dont know, give me some space or something.

User avatar
Eva
sprouting branches
sprouting branches
Posts: 1236
Joined: Fri Dec 15, 2006 2:53 pm
Location: Scandinavia Age: 30+

Post by Eva » Thu Jan 15, 2009 10:05 pm

Do you have a girlfriend? I hope you don't...

Please, call or text me soon...

User avatar
Beasty
troll sniper
troll sniper
Posts: 14934
Joined: Thu Mar 24, 2005 2:10 am
Contact:

Post by Beasty » Fri Jan 16, 2009 12:47 am

Please, go on and ask me out. I'm tired of staring at you.
"No boom today. Boom tomorrow. There’s always a boom tomorrow. What? Look, somebody’s got to have some damn perspective around here. Boom, sooner or later. BOOM!" - Susan Ivanova

Eisa = Beasty's Twin

Beasty's Place!

Image

User avatar
Stefani140
just plain inspiring
just plain inspiring
Posts: 7186
Joined: Thu Sep 04, 2008 7:04 pm
Gender: F
Location: Chandler, AZ. age:29
Contact:

Post by Stefani140 » Fri Jan 16, 2009 8:56 pm

K-Yeah, you're right. I am in denial. As long as I stay in denial, I can keep doing it. So fuck you and the horse you rode in on. I don't have to accept anything I don't want to accept, and I don't want to accept this.


S-Sometimes, I just want to throw you out a fucking window for being so annoying. Yesterday was one of those days even though I said I wasn't angry with you. I lied.
"Even if you're the lone voice in the wilderness, it does not mean you're wrong."

PMs, comments, challenges, advice and hugs welcome.

My Place: http://buslist.org/phpBB/viewtopic.php?t=128060

User avatar
the_gypsy
building community
building community
Posts: 721
Joined: Tue Nov 04, 2008 8:39 am
Location: You will find me each hour the same. Age: 19
Contact:

Post by the_gypsy » Sat Jan 17, 2009 4:17 am

I've told you how much you mean to me but I'm not sure you fully understand it.
My life's goal is going to be for you to see yourself how I see you.
I can't always tell you how much I love you. I know it hurts.
please come back soon, your absence is killing me.
She lives in a daydream, where I don't belong. She is the sunlight, and the sun is gone.
All I want is to keep you safe from the cold...
to give you all that your heart needs the most.


Loading Perfection:
■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■□□□□ 91%
Load Failed. Retry?
Yes | No

:blkstar: I still love you

User avatar
Callisto
postmaster
postmaster
Posts: 37888
Joined: Sun May 04, 2003 3:22 pm

Post by Callisto » Sat Jan 17, 2009 1:09 pm

to myself: you're a fat, ugly, pathetic, clumsy bitch. you are nothing. you are a waste of air. you deserve to disappear.

User avatar
mephistopheles
cow control
cow control
Posts: 24355
Joined: Thu May 26, 2005 4:40 pm
Location: London

Post by mephistopheles » Sat Jan 17, 2009 2:33 pm

Dear me,

get of your fat fucking lazy ass and do some fucking exercise.
oh. and did I mention you're a fucking fat bastard. fat fat fat fat fat.
“Where you used to be, there is a hole in the world, which I find myself constantly walking around in the daytime, and falling in at night. I miss you like hell.”

User avatar
Beasty
troll sniper
troll sniper
Posts: 14934
Joined: Thu Mar 24, 2005 2:10 am
Contact:

Post by Beasty » Sat Jan 17, 2009 5:36 pm

Sometimes I just want to ask you if you could be interested in me. I'd like to know if this daydreaming is at all worthwhile. If you are not, then I don't want to be wasting my time wondering and thinking about you. I'd like to just erase you from that section of my brain if you being a part of my life isn't possible.

I don't necessarily mean a relationship. I mean anything. Friends. FWB... whatever.
"No boom today. Boom tomorrow. There’s always a boom tomorrow. What? Look, somebody’s got to have some damn perspective around here. Boom, sooner or later. BOOM!" - Susan Ivanova

Eisa = Beasty's Twin

Beasty's Place!

Image

Chey Kizoxie

Post by Chey Kizoxie » Sat Jan 17, 2009 6:21 pm

please please please dont go down that road. ive been fighting it for years and once you start, you have to keep it in check forever. please get help now.

User avatar
caged bird
board admin emeritus
board admin emeritus
Posts: 22909
Joined: Mon Jul 15, 2002 2:51 pm
Location: UK Age 24
Contact:

Post by caged bird » Sat Jan 17, 2009 8:09 pm

S,

I know I've got no way to reach you anymore,and I have to get this out somewhere.

I'm sorry, I'm so very very sorry that things couldn't have been different, that I had to hurt you the way I did. The e-mail you wrote was the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me, ever, and it baffles me how you can see so many wonderful things in me, things that I don't think are there. partly it makes me wonder if my perception is wrong, partly i wonder if you really know me at all, or if the thing you desire is just an image of me, a front that i present when i'm at work, when i'm around people that aren't allowed to know.

and that's such a huge part of the problem, there's so much about me you don't know, despite hours and hours of talking, if you think about it carefully you'll see that a lot of it was you talking and me listening. there's so much i can't tell you, can't share becasue of what it could mean for me, becasue of what it'd drag you into. i guess a lot of it though is about a fear i have, and the fear is so intense that i don't even know if my answer back in may was based on that or on what i said it was. you see there's never been another someone, and i don't know if it was genuinely that i only saw us as friends, or if it was more about me being scared and running from something that had the potential to be in my grasp. i guess either way it's better that you didn't get dragged in though.

I'm going to miss your friendship a lot, you surprised me so much to know that you'd hung onto what you hoped could be all this time, i still don't understand how you can think i'm so special. i wish things could be different, i wish i could have managed to not hurt you the way i did, and i wish that we could stay friends becasue i'll miss you a lot, but i understand your need for a clean break. I guess too that i want to thank you, becasue you've changed me, and changed my life for the better just by knowing you, and that's a really special quality

mostly though i hope that you find someone to make you truly happy becasue you deserve nothing less. i hope your fresh start next week brings you everyhting you're hoping for and more, and i hope you're happy now, and can forget about me.

miss you
xxx
visit my website
My Place

Being almost devastated is horrible because it lingers. But total devastation brings a kind of peace. It lets you give up.
Thieves and Kings: Volume Two by Mark Oakly

The line between normal and crazy seemed impossibly thin. A person would have to be an expert tightrope walker in order not to fall.
Running with scissors - Augusten Burroughs

User avatar
Beasty
troll sniper
troll sniper
Posts: 14934
Joined: Thu Mar 24, 2005 2:10 am
Contact:

Post by Beasty » Sat Jan 17, 2009 8:44 pm

YOU'RE DRIVING ME FECKING NUTS!!
"No boom today. Boom tomorrow. There’s always a boom tomorrow. What? Look, somebody’s got to have some damn perspective around here. Boom, sooner or later. BOOM!" - Susan Ivanova

Eisa = Beasty's Twin

Beasty's Place!

Image

User avatar
Eva
sprouting branches
sprouting branches
Posts: 1236
Joined: Fri Dec 15, 2006 2:53 pm
Location: Scandinavia Age: 30+

Post by Eva » Sun Jan 18, 2009 2:30 pm

I want you to be mine :oops: :pdheart:

User avatar
Eva
sprouting branches
sprouting branches
Posts: 1236
Joined: Fri Dec 15, 2006 2:53 pm
Location: Scandinavia Age: 30+

Post by Eva » Sun Jan 18, 2009 6:04 pm

- Go to hell! I'm so mad at you right now. I really want to now, how you will het yourself out of this mess...

- I miss you.

Locked

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 50 guests