Fighting Back against ED! (Please read first post)

lucky_lenny · Post by **lucky_lenny** » Sun Jan 04, 2009 5:14 am

So I have a massive diet plan thing now. Not a weight loss one, just a healthy eating-y one, and I've eaten the way it says but now I feel like such a huge failure, even though I know I shouldn't feel this way

It's the first day, and I've only eaten one meal today (because I have to have 5 hour intervals, and I've only been up four and a half hours so far), and I feel terrible.

This is awful though. Grah. I feel so awful. This was why I stopped eating to begin with, because food felt so bad inside me. Damned EDness.

EDITED

calypso · Post by **calypso** » Sun Jan 04, 2009 6:57 am

*sneaks into thread*

The things I've done recently to combat EDness:

Bought new board-shorts because my other ones were too tight for me and I felt I couldn't wear them as I looked 'fat.' The new ones (rainbow patterned!) fit normally and I feel more confident going to the beach now

Eaten food so yummy, nutritious and interesting that I don't even want to purge.

Had some small treats for myself.

Talked to a school friend who had been suffering from anorexia who is well and truly in recovery and doing really great and got lots of encouragement and recovery ideas from her.

Going to see my dietitian tomorrow

I love this thread, it's fantastic. Sorry I haven't been in my PBH thread, I'm going through some yucky depression right now and it's hard to motivate myself to write things down. So this is good.

silent_end · Post by **silent_end** » Sun Jan 04, 2009 4:52 pm

lucky_lenny wrote:This is awful though. Grah. I feel so awful. This was why I stopped eating to begin with, because food felt so bad inside me. Damned EDness.

Your intake dosen't look much or very balanced hun, and i know food feels bad but your body needs food to function hun. PM me if u need extra help

Whats_this_for · Post by **Whats_this_for** » Mon Jan 05, 2009 5:52 am

lucky_lenny - your meal looks very healthy and balanced to me

but crikey! i would die if i had to wait 5 hours to eat

i don't want to upset you, but wanted to remind you that Mandy (original poster) asked that no food lists to be posted, so maybe you could edit that bit out?
there is a forum on BUS (please be healthy) where you can do that.

calypso - you're taking some really great steps to fight ED

i had to buy new boardies aswell recently.. and they are rainbow aswell!!! lol .. and i've actually been swimming in them

understand about the PBH thread.. take care of yourself

i ate 'scary', 'not safe' food twice in the past 24 hours! (plus my other meals)
take that ED

lucky_lenny · Post by **lucky_lenny** » Mon Jan 05, 2009 6:59 am

Ooh... whoopsee. Fully forgot that, sorry...

*edits*

It is balanced, like, overall. Like, I had to have blood tests for said plan for them to like... make it in the first place.

It's way way long-term, too. Like, 7 months and then I'm off it, or something. And I go see them every week. The dieticiany people. Or call them if I can't get to their place. Which is an hour and a half away, as I live in the middle of nowhere

I'm feeling more optimistic about the whole thing today

silent_end · Post by **silent_end** » Mon Jan 05, 2009 3:32 pm

Optimisim is good

zombiepeople · Post by **zombiepeople** » Mon Jan 05, 2009 5:49 pm

Gah, I'm having problems sticking to my meal plan, but I'm doing a lot better than I was the first week of it...still though, the want to restrict or purge is always jabbing at my mind, and the incessent ED thoughts of "I'll never be good enough" or "I hate my body" won't stop, though I'm trying distractions and everything.

In the whole though, minus these last couple days, I've been eating better, but it's been hard.

silent_end · Post by **silent_end** » Mon Jan 05, 2009 6:58 pm

I know its hard hun but keep pushing through. It gets easier the more you're able to stick to your meal plan

lucky_lenny · Post by **lucky_lenny** » Tue Jan 06, 2009 2:53 am

It's time for me to eat again.

And I don't want to. I'm trying to talk myself into it by saying I'll whizz it up into soup because soup is easier to stomach (and swallow, and my throat feels like it's all closed up) but I just really don't want to eat and I know I have to and... and... help?

Reasons for eating or something, please?

silent_end · Post by **silent_end** » Tue Jan 06, 2009 4:04 am

your body needs the nutrition hunw/o it, your body won't function properly

lucky_lenny · Post by **lucky_lenny** » Tue Jan 06, 2009 4:17 am

Okay.

Feel worthless, but it's done. I ate.

I know I'll be

ish in like... maybe another month or so, but right now I'm all

still. It's day 3, innit?

Early days yet...

Thank you for the

silent_end · Post by **silent_end** » Tue Jan 06, 2009 4:31 am

Np hun Glad you ate though

lucky_lenny · Post by **lucky_lenny** » Wed Jan 07, 2009 2:19 am

Yeah... I guess

Going to have lunch now.

Bleuch.

But I'll eat it

Post by **Spidey** » Wed Jan 07, 2009 3:31 am

Things I have done to combat ED-ness:

- Remind myself it is not worth the time, energy, or secrecy.

- Remind myself that purging takes away from more desirable things, like spending time with kittars, watching TMN, or finding a serial-to-USB connector that works with a Mac.

- Walk away, and give myself time.

Whats_this_for · Post by **Whats_this_for** » Tue Jan 13, 2009 6:58 am

When i was offered a free trial membership to a gym today, i politely declined.. and told the ED voices that they are trying to sell something.. NOT trying to imply that i'm fat.

silent_end · Post by **silent_end** » Tue Jan 13, 2009 7:49 pm

Yay for turning the membership down, i think you did the right thing hun

lucky_lenny · Post by **lucky_lenny** » Thu Jan 15, 2009 12:31 am

I ate 2 helpings at dinner the night before

And kept them down

silent_end · Post by **silent_end** » Thu Jan 15, 2009 12:42 am

Thats good hun

lucky_lenny · Post by **lucky_lenny** » Thu Jan 15, 2009 1:01 am

It is

Post by **Spidey** » Thu Jan 15, 2009 2:30 am

Way to go, Lenny

Right now I am combating serious ED urges. It feels like it would only be too easy to purge right now.

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Fighting Back against ED! (Please read first post)

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