Stronger and more Beautiful than our Eating Disorder *ED*

Typoqueen · Post by **Typoqueen** » Fri Mar 23, 2007 2:10 pm

Here are some videos that have really hwelped me.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3gsVIAgxPYk

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m16ACHY-xkA

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w7YArJu6Abc

Theres a few of my faves but all her videos are worth watching.

JadaKiss · Post by **JadaKiss** » Fri Mar 23, 2007 4:57 pm

Techinically I don't have an eating disorder... I'd be labeled a self-injurer. Although I relate to so many of you on here, that it is hard not to post. I look in the mirror and literally on some days I have gagged just seeing myself. I feel "fat" though I know I'm not obese. I feel ugly, though I know I'm not the worst looking person in the world and thankkfully blessed without disfigurations, but after I had my kids I really lost control of what my body looked like.

I am dieting, well eating healthily, and have lost a lot of weight. My Dr. is proud that I chose more of a "sugar free" lifestyle and one that doesn't include reg. pop, candy, chips, potatoes, breads, things like that.... but seriously? I eat and I'm hungry, but I don't feel good eating. I can't NOT eat, because my metabolism goes crazy and I get sick right away.

Why can't I just FEEL good about what I HAVE accomplished? Why can't a moment pass when I feel GOOD ENOUGH, instead of all of the comparing I do to the little size 2 girls that run around my town. I'd love to be tiny... I'm average, right on down to the height of myself. I hate being average.

Sometimes when I'm triggered, and feeling particularly sadistic, I believe my SI* makes me "special." so I was wondering if your ED* and secrets about it make you feel that way? If so, then we really need to work on some things to replace that behavior.

I already know where my shame, low self-esteem, and anger come from in my past, so I've been working on that through a bible study (which is helping) and I've been relatively SI* free for a week or so... but someone on here said we expect too much of ourselves to have that "perfect day" without BAD thoughts or behaviors, and she's right... if we can do ONE THING differently....better... in our day, then that is progress made.

The definition of recovery is getting better through the process of relapse and progress... well that's not the technical definition, but it's true. If you take 2 steps back, be willing to take at least 1 step forward.

Sorry to post here, I had to rant... I'm not sure why, but I feel a connection on this thread.

Good luck to all of you.

thisshallbeformusic · Post by **thisshallbeformusic** » Sun Mar 25, 2007 2:58 am

i find this song empowering/encouraging. quite fitting too.
Mirror

Barlow Girl

Mirror, Mirror on the wall, Have I got it?
'Cause Mirror you've always told me who I am
I'm finding it's not easy to be perfect
So sorry you won't define me
Sorry you don't own me

Who are you to tell me
That I'm less than what I should be?
Who are you? Who are you?
I don't need to listen
To the list of things I should do
I won't try, I won't try

Mirror I am seeing a new reflection
I'm looking into the eyes of He who made me
And to Him I have beauty beyond compare
I know He defines me

You don't define me, you don't define me

Silentdancer · Post by **Silentdancer** » Sun Mar 25, 2007 2:44 pm

My therapist is encouraging me to go to this outpatient eating disorder program for treatment. Has anyone done somethign like this? Is it worth it? Did it help?

My biggest hesitations are cost and the fact that it will seriously screw up my work schedule which means having to explain things to my boss.

angel-for-you · Post by **angel-for-you** » Tue Apr 03, 2007 3:39 am

i feel like the world stops...i borrowed a pro dress just last week and it fit me perfectly...but now about a week later...it is too big...what is wrong with e? why cant i be a normal teen again? i hae si and had and ed...but i cant erase the srars from it! i want to sit down and cry...i hurt and dont know where to turn...please say something...anything!?!?!?

thisshallbeformusic · Post by **thisshallbeformusic** » Mon Apr 09, 2007 7:30 pm

i just have to say that i'm proud of myself. we went to a buffet yesterday (Easter Sunday) and buffets are one of the most huge ed triggers for me. i ate(granted that was my only meal b/c it was rather large). but i didn't purge. normally i would have. i was really nauseated, but i didn't

fuyumi · Post by **fuyumi** » Mon Apr 09, 2007 8:02 pm

i will be reading along here, but i don't know if i will contribute. i am still having a lot of trouble admitting to myself that i have a problem with this, even though just as recently as yesterday a pdoc looked over my info and said 'aha, eating disorder, too, huh'.

...and she's not the first one who's said that in the past eight-or-so years...

but... i'll be reading along.

thisshallbeformusic · Post by **thisshallbeformusic** » Sat Sep 29, 2007 7:43 pm

i know this forum hasn't been used in a while, i'm just needing support right now b/c my ed is really becoming a nightmare. it scares me.

catylyx,ver.2 · Post by **catylyx,ver.2** » Mon Dec 08, 2008 5:45 pm

i just found this. decided to bump it.
i've noticed a few people who've been struggling, and i haven't been very well off myself.
i'm glad i found this thread, it has some stuff in it i could really use right now.

lucky_lenny · Post by **lucky_lenny** » Fri Dec 12, 2008 2:31 am

I'm glad you bumped it too...

What I hate is that I want so badly to be okay, and not cut.

But eating horrifies me.

catylyx,ver.2 · Post by **catylyx,ver.2** » Fri Dec 12, 2008 8:26 pm

i'm in a similar predicament.
i've been fighting urges and in doing so resorted to my ed for a feeling of control.

and now i'm stuck even though the urges are gone.

bus

Stronger and more Beautiful than our Eating Disorder ED

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