Things Left Unsaid - Version 3.0 *Language*
- KLove24
- just plain inspiring
- Posts: 7363
- Joined: Thu Jul 03, 2008 3:49 am
- Location: somewhere, yet nowhere
*SEX*LANG*
It wasn't just sex to me you fucking asshole. It meant something to me. Apparantly everytime you told me you weren't sure if you loved her or that I was beautiful or that I wasn't a fucking game to you, you were lying. Tell me every time you see me that I'm to beautiful to do the things I do to myself, that I'm better than that. All that bullshit I fucking believed. I believed you because you were my best fucking friend, you meant something to me and I was a fucking joke for you.
Go ahead and live your fucking life with her even though you say you don't feel it when you guys have sex. Even though she was at the bar not even a month after you got married trying to get a booty call. Even though she made out with your fucking brother!! Even though you got home from your honeymoon and the first fucking person you fucked was ME not her!!
I hope you feel good knowing you fucked me in her house on her couch and on her floor and in her fucking bed all the while she was there. You fucked me while she slept in the next room!! Keep telling yourself sex doesn't matter to you but just know you will find someone else. It doesn't have to be me you will eventually do it again.
It wasn't just sex to me you fucking asshole. It meant something to me. Apparantly everytime you told me you weren't sure if you loved her or that I was beautiful or that I wasn't a fucking game to you, you were lying. Tell me every time you see me that I'm to beautiful to do the things I do to myself, that I'm better than that. All that bullshit I fucking believed. I believed you because you were my best fucking friend, you meant something to me and I was a fucking joke for you.
Go ahead and live your fucking life with her even though you say you don't feel it when you guys have sex. Even though she was at the bar not even a month after you got married trying to get a booty call. Even though she made out with your fucking brother!! Even though you got home from your honeymoon and the first fucking person you fucked was ME not her!!
I hope you feel good knowing you fucked me in her house on her couch and on her floor and in her fucking bed all the while she was there. You fucked me while she slept in the next room!! Keep telling yourself sex doesn't matter to you but just know you will find someone else. It doesn't have to be me you will eventually do it again.
- red umbrellas
- beyond inspiring
- Posts: 8175
- Joined: Mon Mar 01, 2004 8:50 am
- Location: Sydney
I'm so sorry. I don't remember. I'm sorry for anything, everything. I'm sorry sorry sorry.
I promise it won't happen again.
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I wish you weren't so selfish. I wish you cared. I wish I didn't.
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I should be thrilled for you. But I'm not. I'm sad and I'm bitter and I'm so sorry for that. I'm a really shit friend.
I hope you don't figure this out. And if you do, I hope you can forgive me.
I promise it won't happen again.
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I wish you weren't so selfish. I wish you cared. I wish I didn't.
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I should be thrilled for you. But I'm not. I'm sad and I'm bitter and I'm so sorry for that. I'm a really shit friend.
I hope you don't figure this out. And if you do, I hope you can forgive me.
And excuses and excuses and excuses
Hold On To Yourself - Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds
"We paint a picture of a scenario - and then we become afraid of it" - Andrea Fella
- treasure
- forum moderator - workshop & before & after
- Posts: 11079
- Joined: Wed Feb 25, 2004 8:32 pm
- Gender: f
- Location: Melbourne, Australia
to my sister. if i live with you, what happens when i si and you find out? will i be hurting you, disappointing you or worse? if i feel su, is it safe to tell you that? i don't want to hurt you but when i am like that i hate myself and with that comes hating you because you love me. i don't want you to see me like that.
if i ask you would say you care and of course you want me to talk to you instead of keeping things in and/or hurting myself emotionally or physically. i am scared that you being around will take away my freedom to stop caring and hating myself for everything. there is so much power in being able to si or plan my death and i don't want you to see how depraved i am sometimes. most people see me as demure and nice, you see some of the pain and the attitude, but i don't think you want to see all of it.
the idea that i could live with someone who i feel comfortable with is a weird idea. i could wake you up in the middle of the night if i can't stop crying or i'm urgy and you would hug me and do everything you can to help. that's so much support, and even if it doesn't happen, you can't imagine how much i want and need to have that support.
then again. i'm rather terrified of leaving my own little world and sharing it. i keep thinking that maybe it would be better to try and su before we live near or with each other, because a few years of my mess is probably going to bring you down a lot, and you may as well be screwed up and in pain sooner to avoid that pain. callous decisions - i want to be alone and i deserve to be alone and i'm willing to think about su just to avoid being vulnerable?
ok. sorry for the long ramble. i think a lot of this is for myself not you though. whatever happens, i'm sorry.
if i ask you would say you care and of course you want me to talk to you instead of keeping things in and/or hurting myself emotionally or physically. i am scared that you being around will take away my freedom to stop caring and hating myself for everything. there is so much power in being able to si or plan my death and i don't want you to see how depraved i am sometimes. most people see me as demure and nice, you see some of the pain and the attitude, but i don't think you want to see all of it.
the idea that i could live with someone who i feel comfortable with is a weird idea. i could wake you up in the middle of the night if i can't stop crying or i'm urgy and you would hug me and do everything you can to help. that's so much support, and even if it doesn't happen, you can't imagine how much i want and need to have that support.
then again. i'm rather terrified of leaving my own little world and sharing it. i keep thinking that maybe it would be better to try and su before we live near or with each other, because a few years of my mess is probably going to bring you down a lot, and you may as well be screwed up and in pain sooner to avoid that pain. callous decisions - i want to be alone and i deserve to be alone and i'm willing to think about su just to avoid being vulnerable?
ok. sorry for the long ramble. i think a lot of this is for myself not you though. whatever happens, i'm sorry.
You don't fool me. I see through you. You are up to something and I know it, if you weren't you wouldn't keep running and hiding every other week or so. Don't even think of coming near me, I won't be fooled like the others into thinking you've changed when you haven't.
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you don't deserve that. you don't deserve that at all.
<hr>
you don't deserve that. you don't deserve that at all.
i love you so much. i'd do anything for you. i can't even express in words how much you mean to me. i feel dead now. you took the other half of my heart.
PM box wide open
and I LOVE HUGS!!!!
My PLace~~~~
http://buslist.org/phpBB/viewtopic.php?t=128510
My writings and stuff~~~
http://buslist.org/phpBB/viewtopic.php?t=129393
and I LOVE HUGS!!!!
My PLace~~~~
http://buslist.org/phpBB/viewtopic.php?t=128510
My writings and stuff~~~
http://buslist.org/phpBB/viewtopic.php?t=129393
- ThanksALatte
- meeting the neighbors
- Posts: 293
- Joined: Sat Apr 30, 2005 5:11 pm
- Contact:
i am trying. i really am. but you cant just promise me you wont be that person. you cant say 'im not going to walk away.' i want to believe that. and i do believe that thats not your intention. you have a good heart. you are a good person. but even good people have their limits. and i am so FUBAR'd...you dont even know. and i wish i could tell you. i want to. but i cant. you.ll run away if you know the real me. im sorry i cant be the friend you deserve.
<>< <>< <>< <>< <>< <>< <><
"A thousand times I've failed, still Your mercy remains...should I stumble again, I'm caught in Your grace..."
"A thousand times I've failed, still Your mercy remains...should I stumble again, I'm caught in Your grace..."
- acdcrocker1909
- forum moderator emeritus
- Posts: 10453
- Joined: Fri Dec 10, 2004 3:42 am
- Gender: Transguy
- Location: Little Blue dot in a sea of Red
You're cute.
Music is life.. we each have our own symphony.. and we control it for the most part.. sometimes instruments drop out.. and others join in.. but when the music fades and the symphony is done.. then we have created a beautiful, personal piece. - Me.
Less Traveled Roads <-- Everyone Welcome.
- Stefani140
- just plain inspiring
- Posts: 7186
- Joined: Thu Sep 04, 2008 7:04 pm
- Gender: F
- Location: Chandler, AZ. age:29
- Contact:
Why can't you just once let me and my mother have some time away from everyone else? Just once! Its been two years since she and I have tried to go somewhere! Two fuckin years! Yet you felt the need to call 20-30 times. Stop being a controlling narcissistic bastard and let the woman have some room to breathe. Seriously, it just makes you look like a pathetic ass.
"Even if you're the lone voice in the wilderness, it does not mean you're wrong."
PMs, comments, challenges, advice and hugs welcome.
My Place: http://buslist.org/phpBB/viewtopic.php?t=128060
PMs, comments, challenges, advice and hugs welcome.
My Place: http://buslist.org/phpBB/viewtopic.php?t=128060
- Ruby Tuesday
- just plain inspiring
- Posts: 7103
- Joined: Fri Nov 12, 2004 10:36 am
- Location: on the floor of a library
please can I have the job? It would mean so much to me.
"I saw spiders where there were no spiders" - patti smith
"'My hands', she said, 'I've left them somewhere and now I can't find them.' She was holding her hands in the air, helplessly, as if she couldn't move them.
'They're right there', I said, 'On the end of your arms'
'No, no', she said impatiently, 'Not those , those are no good anymore. My other hands, the ones I had before, the ones I could touch things with.'" - margaret atwood
place
"'My hands', she said, 'I've left them somewhere and now I can't find them.' She was holding her hands in the air, helplessly, as if she couldn't move them.
'They're right there', I said, 'On the end of your arms'
'No, no', she said impatiently, 'Not those , those are no good anymore. My other hands, the ones I had before, the ones I could touch things with.'" - margaret atwood
place
- HakunaMatata
- one of us
- Posts: 6860
- Joined: Thu Oct 06, 2005 8:30 pm
- Gender: Female
- Location: See that place in the distance? Not there!
B: You think I'm a bratty little madam who's snobby do you? Ok, so here's the truth. L is a skank. Your whole family are dirty and disgusting, have they never heard of bleach or a vacuum cleaner? Your sister has 2 small children, by different dads, both of whom by your accounts are supposed to be twats. Well if the dads had had any say about L getting pregnant, maybe it would have been different. I think she is a stupid, selfish cow. So yes, maybe I am bratty and 'too posh' but at least I have a sense of hygeine, cleanliness and responsibility- all learnt as I've gone through life rather than through need.
And no I DONT want children of my own. And you do. So why go on for the next 2 or 3 years of our lives for it to end then. Why not end now, let me get my life back. Sure I'll miss you loads and it will hurt like hell, but better now than further down the line. You keep asking why I'm sad atm. It's because I want to break up with you but don't know how I can destroy your life, I'd rather destroy my own than yours. [Which to my way of thinking isn't selfish.]
And yes reading that I am a brat. But I don't care anymore, at least I can try and hide it from you.
And no I DONT want children of my own. And you do. So why go on for the next 2 or 3 years of our lives for it to end then. Why not end now, let me get my life back. Sure I'll miss you loads and it will hurt like hell, but better now than further down the line. You keep asking why I'm sad atm. It's because I want to break up with you but don't know how I can destroy your life, I'd rather destroy my own than yours. [Which to my way of thinking isn't selfish.]
And yes reading that I am a brat. But I don't care anymore, at least I can try and hide it from you.
Ache-me se for capaz HM's place- everyone welcome but please read first post!
'Love is worth everything. How much are you willing to risk?'~Umara, gone forever, forgotten never.
'You can't put a price on happiness. Follow your dreams'~ Mithz
I don't like country and western. I don't like rock music, I don't like rockabilly or rock and roll particularly. I don't like much, really, do I? But what I do like, I love passionately. ~ The Pet Shop Boys
- falllingdown
- sprouting branches
- Posts: 1012
- Joined: Sun Sep 28, 2008 1:54 pm
- Gender: male
- ambivalent red
- growing roots
- Posts: 768
- Joined: Wed Aug 20, 2008 7:58 pm
- Location: buried deep inside of me
i want to see my doctor. please just take me to him and drop me off.
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are you looking for my job or I's job? whats with the interviews? is it my jacked up hand? i wish you wont come back- you suck as a boss!!!!!!!!!
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where are you? do you know how much i miss you? my doc says youre a ghost to me. is that what you want? you took my heart when you left. either bring it back or let it go. i need it to give to my husband.
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stop being such a whiny bitch! geez, you are such a drama queen. i am too but at least i can hide it. no sypathy from me-bitch!
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are you looking for my job or I's job? whats with the interviews? is it my jacked up hand? i wish you wont come back- you suck as a boss!!!!!!!!!
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where are you? do you know how much i miss you? my doc says youre a ghost to me. is that what you want? you took my heart when you left. either bring it back or let it go. i need it to give to my husband.
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stop being such a whiny bitch! geez, you are such a drama queen. i am too but at least i can hide it. no sypathy from me-bitch!
There's no where to run
There's no where to hide
From what's in your mind - It's a Ghetto
-Supreme Beings Leisure
There's no where to hide
From what's in your mind - It's a Ghetto
-Supreme Beings Leisure
- falllingdown
- sprouting branches
- Posts: 1012
- Joined: Sun Sep 28, 2008 1:54 pm
- Gender: male
- Holi
- quintessential regular
- Posts: 1924
- Joined: Fri Jan 04, 2008 9:01 pm
- Location: In the dark and dusty recesses of my mind...
You are the reason I'm still here.
It was only 20 odd minutes? Of talking, nothing big, but it's helped me an immeasurable amount.
You've helped me believe. I do deserve to be well. I am worth it. I can finally try and let myself get better.
And that motivation is from no one else but you.
And I have no idea how I'm ever going to convey how so incredibly grateful I am, that you are in my Life.
I guess I'll just have to make do with making a load of brownies for the last day of term .
You are fantastic, and one day, I'm going to make sure you know that, cause you deserve to know what you've done.
Thank You.
It was only 20 odd minutes? Of talking, nothing big, but it's helped me an immeasurable amount.
You've helped me believe. I do deserve to be well. I am worth it. I can finally try and let myself get better.
And that motivation is from no one else but you.
And I have no idea how I'm ever going to convey how so incredibly grateful I am, that you are in my Life.
I guess I'll just have to make do with making a load of brownies for the last day of term .
You are fantastic, and one day, I'm going to make sure you know that, cause you deserve to know what you've done.
Thank You.
Breathe for Love Tomorrow, cause there's no Hope for Today
- DecemberLivy
- just plain inspiring
- Posts: 7474
- Joined: Tue Sep 21, 2004 10:38 am
- Location: London
G - you're starting to depress me and I hate that. I can deal with excitement, nervousness, the heart beating, red-faced puppy love you bring out in me. I cannot deal with you making me sad.
if I know anything I know that depression is a slippery slope, it's a cancer you've got to catch before it can spread. If I can't reverse these new emotions, I don't know what I'll do. I'm at yet another of life's crossroads: do I allow myself to be sucked in out of hope? or do I set myself free out of fear?
if I know anything I know that depression is a slippery slope, it's a cancer you've got to catch before it can spread. If I can't reverse these new emotions, I don't know what I'll do. I'm at yet another of life's crossroads: do I allow myself to be sucked in out of hope? or do I set myself free out of fear?
<center>my walpole cafe
"My life's a mess"
"That's the way it's supposed to be" - soap -
</center>
I think I'll paint roads
on my front room walls
to convince myself
that I'm going places.
"My life's a mess"
"That's the way it's supposed to be" - soap -
</center>
I think I'll paint roads
on my front room walls
to convince myself
that I'm going places.
- Stefani140
- just plain inspiring
- Posts: 7186
- Joined: Thu Sep 04, 2008 7:04 pm
- Gender: F
- Location: Chandler, AZ. age:29
- Contact:
***minor self hate*** or not so minor, who knows.
You don't need to tell me I'm an idiot. I already know. You don't need to tell me that you made me look stupid, I already know that I am. I know that I am a complete waste of space and not worth anyone's time or attention. I know that I should just leave hide in my room alone for the better of society. So please, don't feel the need to point out that I'm a moron. I don't need to hear it from the person who's supposed to love me the most.
You don't need to tell me I'm an idiot. I already know. You don't need to tell me that you made me look stupid, I already know that I am. I know that I am a complete waste of space and not worth anyone's time or attention. I know that I should just leave hide in my room alone for the better of society. So please, don't feel the need to point out that I'm a moron. I don't need to hear it from the person who's supposed to love me the most.
"Even if you're the lone voice in the wilderness, it does not mean you're wrong."
PMs, comments, challenges, advice and hugs welcome.
My Place: http://buslist.org/phpBB/viewtopic.php?t=128060
PMs, comments, challenges, advice and hugs welcome.
My Place: http://buslist.org/phpBB/viewtopic.php?t=128060
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