Things Left Unsaid - Version 3.0 *Language*

tips on how to cope: dealing with your feelings, dealing with the consequences of self-harm in your life. share your ideas and maybe pick up some new skills, too. you don't have to want to stop to learn something new here.

Moderators: Spidey, noldo

Locked
User avatar
Callisto
postmaster
postmaster
Posts: 37888
Joined: Sun May 04, 2003 3:22 pm

Post by Callisto » Thu Sep 25, 2008 11:05 pm

I've figured out what you lost and why you made contact with me again with that crawling apologies of yours....and yknow what it serves you right.

User avatar
KLove24
just plain inspiring
just plain inspiring
Posts: 7363
Joined: Thu Jul 03, 2008 3:49 am
Location: somewhere, yet nowhere

Post by KLove24 » Fri Sep 26, 2008 6:09 am

*SEX*LANG*

It wasn't just sex to me you fucking asshole. It meant something to me. Apparantly everytime you told me you weren't sure if you loved her or that I was beautiful or that I wasn't a fucking game to you, you were lying. Tell me every time you see me that I'm to beautiful to do the things I do to myself, that I'm better than that. All that bullshit I fucking believed. I believed you because you were my best fucking friend, you meant something to me and I was a fucking joke for you.

Go ahead and live your fucking life with her even though you say you don't feel it when you guys have sex. Even though she was at the bar not even a month after you got married trying to get a booty call. Even though she made out with your fucking brother!! Even though you got home from your honeymoon and the first fucking person you fucked was ME not her!!

I hope you feel good knowing you fucked me in her house on her couch and on her floor and in her fucking bed all the while she was there. You fucked me while she slept in the next room!! Keep telling yourself sex doesn't matter to you but just know you will find someone else. It doesn't have to be me you will eventually do it again.
<center>

Image


<A HREF="http://buslist.org/phpBB/viewtopic.php? ... A>*replies welcome

Image
</center>

User avatar
red umbrellas
beyond inspiring
beyond inspiring
Posts: 8175
Joined: Mon Mar 01, 2004 8:50 am
Location: Sydney

Post by red umbrellas » Fri Sep 26, 2008 6:27 am

I'm so sorry. I don't remember. I'm sorry for anything, everything. I'm sorry sorry sorry.
I promise it won't happen again.

_______________


I wish you weren't so selfish. I wish you cared. I wish I didn't.

________________

I should be thrilled for you. But I'm not. I'm sad and I'm bitter and I'm so sorry for that. I'm a really shit friend.
I hope you don't figure this out. And if you do, I hope you can forgive me.
It's all life and fire and lunacy
And excuses and excuses and excuses

Hold On To Yourself - Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds

"We paint a picture of a scenario - and then we become afraid of it" - Andrea Fella

User avatar
treasure
forum moderator - workshop & before & after
forum moderator - workshop & before & after
Posts: 11079
Joined: Wed Feb 25, 2004 8:32 pm
Gender: f
Location: Melbourne, Australia

Post by treasure » Fri Sep 26, 2008 9:06 am

to my sister. if i live with you, what happens when i si and you find out? will i be hurting you, disappointing you or worse? if i feel su, is it safe to tell you that? i don't want to hurt you but when i am like that i hate myself and with that comes hating you because you love me. i don't want you to see me like that.
if i ask you would say you care and of course you want me to talk to you instead of keeping things in and/or hurting myself emotionally or physically. i am scared that you being around will take away my freedom to stop caring and hating myself for everything. there is so much power in being able to si or plan my death and i don't want you to see how depraved i am sometimes. most people see me as demure and nice, you see some of the pain and the attitude, but i don't think you want to see all of it.
the idea that i could live with someone who i feel comfortable with is a weird idea. i could wake you up in the middle of the night if i can't stop crying or i'm urgy and you would hug me and do everything you can to help. that's so much support, and even if it doesn't happen, you can't imagine how much i want and need to have that support.
then again. i'm rather terrified of leaving my own little world and sharing it. i keep thinking that maybe it would be better to try and su before we live near or with each other, because a few years of my mess is probably going to bring you down a lot, and you may as well be screwed up and in pain sooner to avoid that pain. callous decisions - i want to be alone and i deserve to be alone and i'm willing to think about su just to avoid being vulnerable?
ok. sorry for the long ramble. i think a lot of this is for myself not you though. whatever happens, i'm sorry.
treasure
virtual hugs welcome.
shiny place or old place

User avatar
Callisto
postmaster
postmaster
Posts: 37888
Joined: Sun May 04, 2003 3:22 pm

Post by Callisto » Fri Sep 26, 2008 12:20 pm

You don't fool me. I see through you. You are up to something and I know it, if you weren't you wouldn't keep running and hiding every other week or so. Don't even think of coming near me, I won't be fooled like the others into thinking you've changed when you haven't.

<hr>

you don't deserve that. you don't deserve that at all.

User avatar
kgraff
meeting the neighbors
meeting the neighbors
Posts: 385
Joined: Tue Sep 23, 2008 10:02 pm
Location: Maine

Post by kgraff » Fri Sep 26, 2008 8:55 pm

i love you so much. i'd do anything for you. i can't even express in words how much you mean to me. i feel dead now. you took the other half of my heart.
PM box wide open
and I LOVE HUGS!!!!

My PLace~~~~
http://buslist.org/phpBB/viewtopic.php?t=128510

My writings and stuff~~~
http://buslist.org/phpBB/viewtopic.php?t=129393

User avatar
Callisto
postmaster
postmaster
Posts: 37888
Joined: Sun May 04, 2003 3:22 pm

Post by Callisto » Sat Sep 27, 2008 1:56 pm

I still think about you often. You still make me smile too.

User avatar
ThanksALatte
meeting the neighbors
meeting the neighbors
Posts: 293
Joined: Sat Apr 30, 2005 5:11 pm
Contact:

Post by ThanksALatte » Sun Sep 28, 2008 4:39 am

i am trying. i really am. but you cant just promise me you wont be that person. you cant say 'im not going to walk away.' i want to believe that. and i do believe that thats not your intention. you have a good heart. you are a good person. but even good people have their limits. and i am so FUBAR'd...you dont even know. and i wish i could tell you. i want to. but i cant. you.ll run away if you know the real me. im sorry i cant be the friend you deserve.
<>< <>< <>< <>< <>< <>< <><
"A thousand times I've failed, still Your mercy remains...should I stumble again, I'm caught in Your grace..."

User avatar
acdcrocker1909
forum moderator emeritus
forum moderator emeritus
Posts: 10453
Joined: Fri Dec 10, 2004 3:42 am
Gender: Transguy
Location: Little Blue dot in a sea of Red

Post by acdcrocker1909 » Sun Sep 28, 2008 4:39 am

You're cute.

:bluestar:
It does not do to dwell on dreams, and forget to live - APWBD.


Music is life.. we each have our own symphony.. and we control it for the most part.. sometimes instruments drop out.. and others join in.. but when the music fades and the symphony is done.. then we have created a beautiful, personal piece. - Me.

Less Traveled Roads <-- Everyone Welcome.

Image

User avatar
Stefani140
just plain inspiring
just plain inspiring
Posts: 7186
Joined: Thu Sep 04, 2008 7:04 pm
Gender: F
Location: Chandler, AZ. age:29
Contact:

Post by Stefani140 » Mon Sep 29, 2008 7:00 am

Why can't you just once let me and my mother have some time away from everyone else? Just once! Its been two years since she and I have tried to go somewhere! Two fuckin years! Yet you felt the need to call 20-30 times. Stop being a controlling narcissistic bastard and let the woman have some room to breathe. Seriously, it just makes you look like a pathetic ass.
"Even if you're the lone voice in the wilderness, it does not mean you're wrong."

PMs, comments, challenges, advice and hugs welcome.

My Place: http://buslist.org/phpBB/viewtopic.php?t=128060

User avatar
Callisto
postmaster
postmaster
Posts: 37888
Joined: Sun May 04, 2003 3:22 pm

Post by Callisto » Mon Sep 29, 2008 10:30 am

if any of them tries to touch me whilst I'm filming I will actually freak out/be sick. i hate to say out but i'm not cut out to deal with people who are mentally retarded.

User avatar
amyfairy
postinating the countryside
postinating the countryside
Posts: 23286
Joined: Tue Mar 02, 2004 10:39 pm
Location: UK

Post by amyfairy » Mon Sep 29, 2008 12:05 pm

Amy, for fucks sake just pull yourself together and get on with it.

User avatar
Ruby Tuesday
just plain inspiring
just plain inspiring
Posts: 7103
Joined: Fri Nov 12, 2004 10:36 am
Location: on the floor of a library

Post by Ruby Tuesday » Mon Sep 29, 2008 12:46 pm

please can I have the job? It would mean so much to me.

:-?
"I saw spiders where there were no spiders" - patti smith
"'My hands', she said, 'I've left them somewhere and now I can't find them.' She was holding her hands in the air, helplessly, as if she couldn't move them.
'They're right there', I said, 'On the end of your arms'
'No, no', she said impatiently, 'Not those , those are no good anymore. My other hands, the ones I had before, the ones I could touch things with.'" - margaret atwood


place

User avatar
HakunaMatata
one of us
one of us
Posts: 6860
Joined: Thu Oct 06, 2005 8:30 pm
Gender: Female
Location: See that place in the distance? Not there!

Post by HakunaMatata » Mon Sep 29, 2008 3:01 pm

B: You think I'm a bratty little madam who's snobby do you? Ok, so here's the truth. L is a skank. Your whole family are dirty and disgusting, have they never heard of bleach or a vacuum cleaner? Your sister has 2 small children, by different dads, both of whom by your accounts are supposed to be twats. Well if the dads had had any say about L getting pregnant, maybe it would have been different. I think she is a stupid, selfish cow. So yes, maybe I am bratty and 'too posh' but at least I have a sense of hygeine, cleanliness and responsibility- all learnt as I've gone through life rather than through need.
And no I DONT want children of my own. And you do. So why go on for the next 2 or 3 years of our lives for it to end then. Why not end now, let me get my life back. Sure I'll miss you loads and it will hurt like hell, but better now than further down the line. You keep asking why I'm sad atm. It's because I want to break up with you but don't know how I can destroy your life, I'd rather destroy my own than yours. [Which to my way of thinking isn't selfish.]

And yes reading that I am a brat. But I don't care anymore, at least I can try and hide it from you.

:cystar:
*NO HUGS PLEASE*

Ache-me se for capaz HM's place- everyone welcome but please read first post!

'Love is worth everything. How much are you willing to risk?'~Umara, gone forever, forgotten never.
'You can't put a price on happiness. Follow your dreams'~ Mithz

I don't like country and western. I don't like rock music, I don't like rockabilly or rock and roll particularly. I don't like much, really, do I? But what I do like, I love passionately. ~ The Pet Shop Boys

User avatar
falllingdown
sprouting branches
sprouting branches
Posts: 1012
Joined: Sun Sep 28, 2008 1:54 pm
Gender: male

Post by falllingdown » Mon Sep 29, 2008 6:18 pm

When did it get so ........ messed up. Hell all i wanted was things to be normal and happy. People i have watched move past me and leave me behind, why am i stuck?
And now it has all come back around.
:(
mistake i guess ........... maybe i should have stayed away for good.

User avatar
ambivalent red
growing roots
growing roots
Posts: 768
Joined: Wed Aug 20, 2008 7:58 pm
Location: buried deep inside of me

Post by ambivalent red » Mon Sep 29, 2008 6:22 pm

i want to see my doctor. please just take me to him and drop me off.
-------------------------------------------------
are you looking for my job or I's job? whats with the interviews? is it my jacked up hand? i wish you wont come back- you suck as a boss!!!!!!!!!
------------------------------------------------
where are you? do you know how much i miss you? my doc says youre a ghost to me. is that what you want? you took my heart when you left. either bring it back or let it go. i need it to give to my husband.
------------------------------------------------
stop being such a whiny bitch! geez, you are such a drama queen. i am too but at least i can hide it. no sypathy from me-bitch!
There's no where to run
There's no where to hide
From what's in your mind - It's a Ghetto
-Supreme Beings Leisure

User avatar
falllingdown
sprouting branches
sprouting branches
Posts: 1012
Joined: Sun Sep 28, 2008 1:54 pm
Gender: male

Post by falllingdown » Mon Sep 29, 2008 9:20 pm

You anger me because you are what that person wants and i dont even figure. Whats so good about you?

User avatar
Holi
quintessential regular
quintessential regular
Posts: 1924
Joined: Fri Jan 04, 2008 9:01 pm
Location: In the dark and dusty recesses of my mind...

Post by Holi » Mon Sep 29, 2008 10:19 pm

You are the reason I'm still here.
It was only 20 odd minutes? Of talking, nothing big, but it's helped me an immeasurable amount.
You've helped me believe. I do deserve to be well. I am worth it. I can finally try and let myself get better.
And that motivation is from no one else but you.

And I have no idea how I'm ever going to convey how so incredibly grateful I am, that you are in my Life.
I guess I'll just have to make do with making a load of brownies for the last day of term :roll:.

You are fantastic, and one day, I'm going to make sure you know that, cause you deserve to know what you've done.
Thank You.

User avatar
DecemberLivy
just plain inspiring
just plain inspiring
Posts: 7474
Joined: Tue Sep 21, 2004 10:38 am
Location: London

Post by DecemberLivy » Mon Sep 29, 2008 10:43 pm

G - you're starting to depress me and I hate that. I can deal with excitement, nervousness, the heart beating, red-faced puppy love you bring out in me. I cannot deal with you making me sad.
if I know anything I know that depression is a slippery slope, it's a cancer you've got to catch before it can spread. If I can't reverse these new emotions, I don't know what I'll do. I'm at yet another of life's crossroads: do I allow myself to be sucked in out of hope? or do I set myself free out of fear?
<center>my walpole cafe

"My life's a mess"
"That's the way it's supposed to be" - soap -
</center>

I think I'll paint roads
on my front room walls
to convince myself
that I'm going places.

User avatar
Stefani140
just plain inspiring
just plain inspiring
Posts: 7186
Joined: Thu Sep 04, 2008 7:04 pm
Gender: F
Location: Chandler, AZ. age:29
Contact:

Post by Stefani140 » Tue Sep 30, 2008 3:28 pm

***minor self hate*** or not so minor, who knows.


You don't need to tell me I'm an idiot. I already know. You don't need to tell me that you made me look stupid, I already know that I am. I know that I am a complete waste of space and not worth anyone's time or attention. I know that I should just leave hide in my room alone for the better of society. So please, don't feel the need to point out that I'm a moron. I don't need to hear it from the person who's supposed to love me the most.
"Even if you're the lone voice in the wilderness, it does not mean you're wrong."

PMs, comments, challenges, advice and hugs welcome.

My Place: http://buslist.org/phpBB/viewtopic.php?t=128060

Locked

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 45 guests