Things Left Unsaid - Version 3.0 *Language*

kristinnie · Post by **kristinnie** » Wed Sep 17, 2008 1:32 pm

I wish you were still here. Our family would still be intact and mom wouldn't be such a disaster zone. I wish you knew my kids, you'd so enjoy their individual spirits. I think you'd be proud of me and I'd love another hug. I"m sorry for the summer I worked with you and rode headphones in the car back and forth; if I'd known our time was about to end I'd have talked to you. I wish I had more time. I'll always, always regret that.

Thank you for believing in me, and I miss you more than you know.

ambivalent red · Post by **ambivalent red** » Wed Sep 17, 2008 3:25 pm

Dont blame Dad again. It's still your fault.
------------------------------
Words I SHOULD say today to my shrink but I wont...

I cut bad - I was so scared. I looked at his myspace. I'm not taking all the meds you give me. I think I'm addicted to my xanax. I am drinking everynight and I'm scared I wont be able to when we move in with family. I am moving to my mothers even though you think it is a bad idea. I'm scared I wont find another doctor like you. You've been the only one who remembers since highschool. I'm scared to tell you the truth about the cutting because I think you will put me away. I cant be put away right now, I have a show to do this weekend and I have to help pack to move.

kalayla · Post by **kalayla** » Wed Sep 17, 2008 5:46 pm

you dont know how mich you hurt me... how much you let me down... you will never know all the pain you have caused me... all the things YOU made me do for your own sake... honestly... i hate you more than you ever know

ambivalent red · Post by **ambivalent red** » Wed Sep 17, 2008 7:39 pm

I still have 10 minutes left! I'm not done talking. I need help.

Callisto · Post by **Callisto** » Wed Sep 17, 2008 10:36 pm

I hope you're ok. I worry about you. I worry about how quickly you go from being ok to being down and completely withdrawing. I worry because I care......and because part of me is still in love with you.

<hr>

even though I'm not self harming and not attempting suicide, I actually feel sicker than I ever have before because this is really affecting my ability to function day-to-day. But the fact that I don't have cuts and things makes me feel like a fake for saying that.

amyfairy · Post by **amyfairy** » Thu Sep 18, 2008 2:07 pm

argh i'm literally so jealous of you. you moaned when e's parents bought him a £250 car saying that yours would never buy you a car... you turned up today to show off to me the brand new £12,000 car that your parents bought you. i'm so jealous. and they're going to buy you a house in the future. i've worked my ass off all summer to earn less than one sixth of the worth of that car. and i'm awful for thinking this because there are people without ANYTHING. exactly - nobody said the world was fair. it's fucked up.

ed***
i can't let this eating disorder go. i'm going to get fat. i'm the biggest i've ever been and i can't handle it. i just eat all day, so much. and the only way i can stop it and regain any control if by entertainig ed thoughts all day. these thoughts are helping me. i can't let this go.

Stefani140 · Post by **Stefani140** » Thu Sep 18, 2008 10:32 pm

Things I should say to the BF:

How could you let HER call you that name? That was my name for you, my special little nickname for you. If it was A that's fine, he's your best friend and my good friend. But her?! She is the one who begged you to leave me for her, who still insists on telling you that she loves you. You tell me not to worry and that you hate her. Then why do you talk to her? And why would you let her call you something so special to me? That angers me so much, but even more it hurts me, which only pisses me off even more. I stopped talking to my very best friend because it made you uncomfortable that he had a crush on me...and he never went half as far in trying to break us up than she has. Yet still you talk to her...how can I not worry. And how can I not be hurt and angry about the clear double standard here.

**SI**
Things unsaid to the T:
Yes, I did cut since I talked to you this morning..twice actually. I lied, and I don't care that I lied. I gave in with absolutely no fight because I was angry and upset, and I don't care.

Post by **Spidey** » Fri Sep 19, 2008 1:18 am

I wish I could join you.

ambivalent red · Post by **ambivalent red** » Fri Sep 19, 2008 3:51 pm

I did not do my work because my head has not been right. Deal with it. You procrastinate all the time.
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Sorry R, I was the one who took your box cutter. I went to the bathroom and cut my legs. My muscles felt like they were on crack.
You will find it this morning back at your desk.
Dont worry I cleaned it after.

Callisto · Post by **Callisto** » Sat Sep 20, 2008 11:59 am

I'm starting to wonder if you ever really did stop caring about me.....

Callisto · Post by **Callisto** » Sat Sep 20, 2008 6:48 pm

Don't bite my head off....its not my fault. You knew all this in advance so you should've thought about it before agreeing stuff with me.

.............I appreciate that you rang me back and were slightly calmer, but still don't shout at me just because you've not managed to get as much done as you would like or because you have a rent inspection on Monday.

acdcrocker1909 · Post by **acdcrocker1909** » Sat Sep 20, 2008 10:50 pm

I really.. really think you are cute.. but you'll never give me a second glance like that..

kalayla · Post by **kalayla** » Sun Sep 21, 2008 12:27 am

i know that you have told me not to cut, but i need it. im sorry i let you down but its really not my fault

KLove24 · Post by **KLove24** » Sun Sep 21, 2008 1:40 am

When I tell you that Im not going to text you or call unless you text me first I want you to text me. I don't want to feel like a psycho stalker. I want to be friends. I want to be more than that. I want you to want me. I know you do but you just keep fighting it. UGHH!!

Beasty · Post by **Beasty** » Sun Sep 21, 2008 4:50 pm

A month ago, I could have ruined the living shit out of your life and hurt you in a way that nobody else could. I don't think I can anymore because half of it would be lies now.

the edge of the world · Post by **the edge of the world** » Mon Sep 22, 2008 5:07 am

It really bothers me how you use mental illness references so casually and incorrectly. And I really wish you'd stop joking about killing yourself so often, because no matter how you actually mean it, it's not a joke for me.

sonumb · Post by **sonumb** » Mon Sep 22, 2008 5:32 am

I am freaked that you'll leave me even tho we're married and I'm scared to tell you that I cut beacuse I don't want to hurt you again and have you offer to make me cut you... I'm scared that I cry too much and that I'm no fun anymore.... why do you keep talking about God... i know fucking God... I'm sick of hearing about him... I just want to know your love that flows though God... I don't want gifts, i want you... your time... your touch...

Pissenlit · Post by **Pissenlit** » Mon Sep 22, 2008 7:36 am

Just because I'm younger doesn't mean I'm less intelligent. Just because I don't agree with you it doesn't make me automatically wrong. And just because I don't wear my heart on my sleeve and tell everyone my business it doesn't mean that I haven't been through some shit. I deserve respect. And all your talk of acceptance and understanding and diversity is a load of shit, because you disparage anyone who is not your intellectual and/or idealogical clone. You think you are humble because you say disparaging things about your looks; but when it comes to any kind of intellectual pursuit or opinion you have an ego bigger than Texas. Get over yourself.

Pissenlit · Post by **Pissenlit** » Mon Sep 22, 2008 7:36 am

Just because I'm younger doesn't mean I'm less intelligent. Just because I don't agree with you it doesn't make me automatically wrong. And just because I don't wear my heart on my sleeve and tell everyone my business it doesn't mean that I haven't been through some shit. I deserve respect. And all your talk of acceptance and understanding and diversity is a load of shit, because you disparage anyone who is not your intellectual and/or idealogical clone. You think you are humble because you say disparaging things about your looks; but when it comes to any kind of intellectual pursuit or opinion you have an ego bigger than Texas. Get over yourself.

Pissenlit · Post by **Pissenlit** » Mon Sep 22, 2008 7:49 am

You piling your own guilt onto me because you never loved me does not make up for your never loving me; it makes it worse. I don't feel bad for you. You should have given me up for adoption if you didn't want me, or never had me. I don't know why you never loved me when you loved them, but don't think that you're fooling me just because you say the words "I love you." Actions speak louder, and you obviously could not have cared less if I fell off the face of the planet. You probably would not have noticed until you wanted me to do something for the ones who you did love. When you wouldn't take me to the hospital because it was too much of a bother, you told me all I needed to know about where I stood in your life. I was not worth a $100 copay and some lost sleep. I could have died in bed that night and you would have woken up the next morning and said, "oops." Then you probably would have been angry because you missed a day's work calling the mortician to come and take away my body. You took my sister to the ER because of a sprained ankle and my brother because he was constipated, but me writhing on the floor in pain and unable to stand merited a couple of ibuprofen and a "if you still feel bad in the morning I'll make a doctor's appointment." I want you to tell me the truth. Don't pretend like we're a normal, healthy family. Did the two of you plan on the drowning, or was it really a drug-induced accident?

bus

Things Left Unsaid - Version 3.0 Language

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