Strike Back of Secrets! [The Secrets Thread - Read 1st Post]

theunspoken · Post by **theunspoken** » Fri Aug 22, 2008 3:53 am

I only work in social services jobs because that's all I know how to do.

I pretend that I like people and I like helping people.

But deep inside, I hate everybody. I hate the world. I'd be glad to see it all burn.

And I'm worried I'll someday snap.

Callisto · Post by **Callisto** » Fri Aug 22, 2008 3:04 pm

I think I'm becoming a geek......

steady hands · Post by **steady hands** » Sat Aug 23, 2008 2:13 am

-ed-

I want to purge until there's nothing left except skin stretched over bone.

PassingCloud · Post by **PassingCloud** » Sat Aug 23, 2008 6:36 am

i want to stop taking my meds.

acdcrocker1909 · Post by **acdcrocker1909** » Sun Aug 24, 2008 2:10 pm

I think I have a crush on someone.. and it feels.. funny.

KLove24 · Post by **KLove24** » Sun Aug 24, 2008 4:26 pm

I don't know what I want.

It kills me that I put myself out there and he doesn't answer me.

sadgirl2 · Post by **sadgirl2** » Sun Aug 24, 2008 6:32 pm

I am scared of so much:

1. Failing
2. Being alone the rest of my life
3. Messing up at work
4. Letting my kids down.
5. Dying
6. That I will never being able to fully stop hurting myself.
7. That I won't have any friends.
8. Of letting people down.

Kaleb · Post by **Kaleb** » Mon Aug 25, 2008 12:09 am

I stopped being in love today - It feels really ...............odd

cariad · Post by **cariad** » Mon Aug 25, 2008 12:39 am

I miss my ED. Im trying, so hard, not to go backwards - but i think i am. the thoughts are all there. this hurts, why now? when i am trying so so hard??

Beasty · Post by **Beasty** » Mon Aug 25, 2008 3:49 am

At this point in time, I'd give anything to be happy again like I was. Like we were. I'd throw away everything to feel that again.

theunspoken · Post by **theunspoken** » Mon Aug 25, 2008 3:57 am

I could die tomorrow and be perfectly happy with the life I've lived.

cobwebb · Post by **cobwebb** » Wed Aug 27, 2008 9:41 pm

I hate the person I have become

I feel I've failed

Holi · Post by **Holi** » Sat Aug 30, 2008 1:55 pm

NO IRL

*sigh*
I was really looking forward to today, to what I thought it would entail, but those things didn't happen.
I feel so many things, I feel like I'm deluding myself that anything would happen anyway, but, I'm still a bit crushed that it didn't.
Don't get me wrong, I had good time with you both, but... I'm still sad.
I feel like I'm abusing this friendship just to get closer to him. I'm not, I'm sure I'm not... I don't fucking know. You ARE my friend, and still would be if he had nothing to do with it. But I cannot honestly say that it started with pure motives. It didn't. It started with rather selfish motives. And I'm sorry. I feel so manipulative cause of it, but no one is to know? Just me... I'm so sorry. But we are good friends now, regardless of him, and you never have to know, you don't need to, it wouldn't do anyone any good. It would only bring pain.
But I need him. He's just a reason to keep going, he keeps me alive, know that, I'd die if he went, and if I get closer to him cause of you, then that's a bonus to me. Fuck, I'm sorry, but that is the truth. It's like... not my only motive, but it's a bonus I'm happy to pick up on. But I need him. It's the only thing that's kept me going this summer, was the fact I'd see him, and everyone else at the end of it, and all the memories I had, and all new things I could add to those memories.
It would just be so fucking hard to ever explain, not just to you, but ANYONE, cause heck, I don't know what the fuck goes on my in mind sometimes. It's so so so Complex. And it's so easy to assume, and bring up stereotypes, and all the labels I can think of don't capture it. Words just can't capture the whole thing, it's just this big ball of stuff, inside of me, that I'll never be able to fully explain to anyone.
All I know is that he keeps me smiling. And this weird amalgamation of emotions has brought me so much pain, and hurt, but has still kept me alive. No matter how many scars and tears, and near-SU moment's he's brought me. I could never blame him, I'm to blame, not him. And I'd never wish he weren't there, I wouldn't forget any of it, for all the tea in China.
Fuck. FUCK. I'm just a manipulative bitch, no wonder I hate me. And if everyone knew, they'd hate me too. I'm living a lie, and no one knows apart from me.

:grystar::dkpurpstar:

I hate myself. And everyone else should.
It's all I deserve.

Callisto · Post by **Callisto** » Sat Aug 30, 2008 3:16 pm

you make me smile

Callisto · Post by **Callisto** » Sun Aug 31, 2008 5:27 pm

I lied to you this week because I didn't think that you'd understand, I thought you'd be angry with me and because I didn't want to jinx it by telling people, especially not people who have judged the person in question so harshly. I'm sorry.....but I don't regret it because it was the only way.
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I'm falling for you all over again....and this time I hope we can make it work.

acdcrocker1909 · Post by **acdcrocker1909** » Sun Aug 31, 2008 5:53 pm

They say college is this whole new experience.. and it is.. I'm just.. I'm afraid of some of the feelings I am having right now.

prettyvacant · Post by **prettyvacant** » Sun Aug 31, 2008 6:24 pm

I've run out of meds a month before I should. I'm terrified of my unmedicated bipolar.

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I'm scared of moving in together. I don't want to fight. And it's inevitable. And I've no idea what state two si'ers would get into

acdcrocker1909 · Post by **acdcrocker1909** » Tue Sep 02, 2008 3:55 am

I'm sending in one of my secrets this week.

powdahchica · Post by **powdahchica** » Tue Sep 02, 2008 11:07 pm

I can feel my depression getting worse as I'm weaning off my meds... and it scares me.

Callisto · Post by **Callisto** » Tue Sep 02, 2008 11:27 pm

this weekend reminded me why I liked you in the first place and made me miss you.....right now I'm not sure how much of a good thing that is......

Strike Back of Secrets! [The Secrets Thread - Read 1st Post]

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