new boundaries

tips on how to cope: dealing with your feelings, dealing with the consequences of self-harm in your life. share your ideas and maybe pick up some new skills, too. you don't have to want to stop to learn something new here.

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bg
unpacking boxes
unpacking boxes
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Joined: Fri Apr 04, 2008 3:30 am
Location: dallas

new boundaries

Post by bg » Tue May 27, 2008 5:05 am

Since the beginning of 2007 my cbt has turned against me. Last week she got pissed when I refused to commit to staying safe for a month, saying I expect her to commit to indefinite treatment....

I have some boundaries of my own now:
Never admit sh to them
never admit to su thoughts
never, ever trust any of them again, they are NOt friends, and they will dump me someday.

Every mental health professional I have ever been in contact with has lied or betrayed me. I'll never trust any of them again.
always alone :(

oakwren
unpacking boxes
unpacking boxes
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Joined: Mon May 26, 2008 6:21 pm

Post by oakwren » Tue May 27, 2008 10:48 am

perhaps she's not right for you.

what are you looking for from therapy? deep down, what is it that you are expecting when you go to a session? i ask as recently i realised i want the counsellor to take responsibility and give me attention. i know that sounds bad, but when i realised, it made sense and it helped me, because i was honest with myself. but needing that attention doesn't mean that is why i'm going to therapy - but if you know what you are hoping for as a secondary thing, then you can focus on the primary reason you're going to therapy. e.g. sorting out the past and preparing for the future. not sure if that made sense.

i too would never trust a therapist with su thoughts. to be honest, is it ever really worth it? they eventually go. they aren't "real" it's just a reaction to what is going on in your life.

There's something i learnt from therapy - it's the smallest part of the pie: the bulk of the work is down to you outside of therapy. The time you spend with them is valuable if they can help you to understand and prepare for the future but the real work and the real responsiblity comes from you.

it might seem harsh but it takes away the high expectations we place on therapists. one counsellor who I spoke to thought that therapy is like a meditation session. it's not really able to give you what you want/are looking for - he said that society places high expectations on therapy.

perhaps you could list all the things you could do that would help to improve and move you forward. i'm not saying a therapist can't help or that you should stop seeing one, but once you start to make decisions about what you could be doing in conjunction with therapy, then maybe the therapy would work better because there isn't such an awful expectation placed on it to magically get you better.

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