Ways to feel safe?

tips on how to cope: dealing with your feelings, dealing with the consequences of self-harm in your life. share your ideas and maybe pick up some new skills, too. you don't have to want to stop to learn something new here.

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dawni
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Ways to feel safe?

Post by dawni » Sat Apr 12, 2008 5:42 pm

In my session today, psychologist and I were talking about how it's important to feel safe, both in therapy and out in the world, in order to deal with the big things that are making life so difficult. As part of my homework this week, she's asked me to come up with some ways we can achieve this for me, especially feeling safe in her office. So far I've thought of:

* Taking a stuffed toy with me
* Sitting on the floor
* Maybe asking if I can draw/scribble or colour while we talk, so I am 'occupied' at a task

Does anyone else have any suggestions, or things they've done? Please?
While the thought is appreciated, I often don't do well with hugs so unless I ask for them, hug alternatives such as flowers or rainbows (or anything else at all, really) would be preferred please and thank you. :)

xx
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xx

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Post by Spidey » Sun Apr 13, 2008 4:43 pm

reminding yourself that the person that you are with is a good person, and will not harm you (it might work?)
there is, in the end, the letting go.
-marya hornbacher

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Post by Roxi » Mon Apr 14, 2008 4:56 pm

I like crystals and prescious stones. :) I have them all over; in pockets, handbags and my pencil case at school. Not big one's mind you :wink: just little ones which I can squeeze and hold onto. Somehow holding onto something when it feels like there is nothing left to hold onto - helps a lot.

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We are the girls with anxiety disorders, filled appointment books, five-year plans. We take ourselves very, very seriously. We are the peacemakers, the do-gooders, the givers, the savers. We are on time, overly prepared, well read, and witty, intellectually curious, always moving… We drink coffee, a lot of it. We are on birth control, Prozac, and multivitamins… We are relentless, judgmental with ourselves, and forgiving to others. We are the daughters of the feminists who said, “You can be anything,” and we heard, “You have to be everything." - Courtney Martin.

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Post by dawni » Tue Apr 15, 2008 11:00 am

Thanks Pink and Roxi! Both are great ideas. I can't believe I didn't think of crystal myself though, as I carry one of my rose quartz crystals with me everywhere. Definitely on the list!
While the thought is appreciated, I often don't do well with hugs so unless I ask for them, hug alternatives such as flowers or rainbows (or anything else at all, really) would be preferred please and thank you. :)

xx
I feel stronger with you close by ~ dawni's Place - all welcome.
xx

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Post by balletomane » Wed Apr 16, 2008 6:52 pm

I like play-doh and stress toys. :)

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Post by pelagic » Thu Apr 17, 2008 9:01 am

I like sources of warmth... warm drinks, warm food, hot water bottles, blankets, heating pads...

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Post by dawni » Wed Apr 23, 2008 1:32 am

I've noticed playdough in my psychologist's office. I wonder if maybe she'd let me mould with it while I talk to her. That might be something I could suggest, thank you!

Also thank you to pelagic, warmth sources are good too, definitely. Especially warm tea/milk. :)
While the thought is appreciated, I often don't do well with hugs so unless I ask for them, hug alternatives such as flowers or rainbows (or anything else at all, really) would be preferred please and thank you. :)

xx
I feel stronger with you close by ~ dawni's Place - all welcome.
xx

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Post by steady hands » Wed Apr 23, 2008 3:10 am

I agree with pelagic.

I really like blankets, or just having a hoodie, even if i'm not wearing it. (I usually just put it on my lap if i'm not.)

I also like jewelry I can play with - things with beads or loose ends. Even something simple like a necklace works. It gives me something to fidget with, but it doesn't take concentration or focus like coloring or drawing would.

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Post by dawni » Wed Apr 23, 2008 3:20 am

Thanks sidvicious1903, that's a good point! I'm a fidgeter as well. :)
While the thought is appreciated, I often don't do well with hugs so unless I ask for them, hug alternatives such as flowers or rainbows (or anything else at all, really) would be preferred please and thank you. :)

xx
I feel stronger with you close by ~ dawni's Place - all welcome.
xx

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Post by sunflowerwoman » Thu Apr 24, 2008 10:46 pm

usually when i have a very difficult subject i want to talk with my therapist about, i usually ask her to sit in a chair on the other side of the room and face the oppiste way i'm facing
then i sit on the ohter side and usually sit behind a chair so that i can see her but she can't see me

maybe this will help?

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Post by dawni » Wed Apr 30, 2008 6:41 am

That's a really awesome idea, thank you sunflowerwoman. I think I almost definitely would feel safer if psychologist wasn't watching me when I was saying hard stuff.
While the thought is appreciated, I often don't do well with hugs so unless I ask for them, hug alternatives such as flowers or rainbows (or anything else at all, really) would be preferred please and thank you. :)

xx
I feel stronger with you close by ~ dawni's Place - all welcome.
xx

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Post by Mercy » Thu May 01, 2008 9:23 am

eating a loly pop. you get preocupied of chewing. good stuff.
its possible.

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Post by pelagic » Fri May 23, 2008 7:10 am

Dawni, I just had a thought...

Have you heard of aromatherapy? Hopefully you have, and you have a couple essential oils stores near you. Different scents have different effects on everybody, and I find that, depending on the fragrance I am around, I feel a certain way. Ylang Ylang usually makes me feel safe, while lavender calms me down. Vanilla and other spices, like cinnamin, make me feel warm. Perhaps investing on some aromatherapy..? You can put a couple drops on your wrist and the smell will hang around you.

Best part of all: essential oils are just that-- oils from plants/flowers/spices! No chemicals, no animal testing, no bad stuff. So you'll feel good about that too! :)

(Also, to feel safe at school, I constantly eat. Not a lot, I just pack many small snacks (vegetables, fruit, chocolate and almonds, the occasional granola bar, etc) and munch on them throughout the day. Food makes me feel safe and comforted, even if its just a couple bits of a carrot. Maybe it'll help you too, in stressful environments?)

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Post by Spidey » Fri May 23, 2008 12:30 pm

pelagic wrote:(Also, to feel safe at school, I constantly eat. Not a lot, I just pack many small snacks (vegetables, fruit, chocolate and almonds, the occasional granola bar, etc) and munch on them throughout the day. Food makes me feel safe and comforted, even if its just a couple bits of a carrot. Maybe it'll help you too, in stressful environments?)
I don't think that this is a really good, really safe coping mechanism. In actuality, I think it can lead to more problems, and you are just burying your feelings at the end.
there is, in the end, the letting go.
-marya hornbacher

spidey immer voran
(spidey ever onward)

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Post by thekklteam » Tue Jun 10, 2008 4:37 pm

I love being wrapped up in soft blankets. I usually wear shorts and a top to have as much skin as possible touching the blanket while still being decent. XD While being all wrapped up I love hanging out with my guy doing weird shizz like watching videos together or just talking or maybe playing some MMO. It helps a lot knowing he's there when I need him, and I'm getting to the point where I feel safe when he's not around because I know he'll most likely be coming back.

Kitties help a lot too, petting and cuddling with them. Mom also makes me feel pretty safe, she's a great woman and I'm really lucky to have her. :)

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