
like I'm holding in a lifetime of stuff that will eventually blow me apart
like I should go to therapy
like crying, but I've already cryed an ocean in my life and it never fixes anything
glad that I went on a tough hike yesterday, but frustrated and pissed at myself for eating stuff I shouldn't have
proud of myself for not puking
censored
tired
worried
stupid
scared by a nightmare I had about si
just


su in the back of my mind
like si thoughts are grossing me out
like I'll never be able to get it all done in time
like I need to ask for help and frustrated that I won't
just
