Trying to find good things about myself-- help.

[Afternoon]

At my last counseling session, I came to the realization that many of my emotional problems stem from my belief that I'm unloveable. My counselor suggested that I make a list of things about myself that I like, things that are good.

I've been trying to do that over the past few days, but it is genuinely hard for me to find things to like about myself. So far all I could think of is that I'm a good cook, and that's a pretty lame start.

Does anyone else struggle with this? Any tips on finding my redeeming qualities? I know they're in there somewhere, but I feel like I need a steam shovel to unearth them.

[irishpecas14]

i struggle with it, especially when there is a question directly addressing what i am good at.

maybe ask friends/family what they think you are good at?

[thewaves]

I think that you should try to take the search a little bit away from what your family and friends see as your positive qualities and try to find things that are more personal and not so dependent on the perceptions of others. I also struggle with finding positive things to say about myself, and I used to begin to answer questions about my "best qualities" by stating, "other people say that...". Maybe that is partly a front to avoid sounding egotistical , but I think that answers to those sorts of questions are usually highly indicative of how we see ourselves in relation to other people. Because you feel unlovable, you can't possibly see anything that would be good about yourself, that you could find enjoyable because your automatic assumption is that you're not good enough for anyone else. If you cook for yourself and like it, you're a good cook (which I think is a great thing, by the way). If you care a lot about literature or music or even TV shows, you have a strong interest in the world around you and are responsive to art and beauty. Even little things can be big things, you see.