Things Left Unsaid - Version 3.0 *Language*

tips on how to cope: dealing with your feelings, dealing with the consequences of self-harm in your life. share your ideas and maybe pick up some new skills, too. you don't have to want to stop to learn something new here.

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PassingCloud
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Post by PassingCloud » Tue Apr 01, 2008 3:34 pm

NO!!!!
NO NO NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

:evil:
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[I'm talking about my life.][I can't seem to get that through to you.]
[I'm not just talking about one person,][I'm talking about everybody.]
[I'm talking about form, I'm talking about content.][I'm talking about inter-relationships.]
[I'm talking about God, the Devil, Hell, Heaven!]
[Do you understand?]
[Finally?]
(one flew over the cuckoo's nest)

:redstar:
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rememberthatiloveyou
growing roots
growing roots
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Post by rememberthatiloveyou » Tue Apr 01, 2008 11:28 pm

i wish you didn't help me get over my eating disorder. i think i probably just gave up trying, but i hate myself now because i am so damn fat! i'm not one of those skinny girls that says their fat though...i used to be...now i actually am fat. :x
We can not do great things, only small things with great love. It is not how much you do but how much love you put into doing it. -Mother Teresa

i'm at my summer job as a camp counselor, if it takes me a while to answer, its not because i'm ignoring you...just don't get on a computer much.

last SI 4-13-08

<a href="http://buslist.org/phpBB/viewtopic.php?t=123817">my place</a>

Chey Kizoxie

Post by Chey Kizoxie » Wed Apr 02, 2008 1:32 am

how do i manage to get stuck only on the questions relating to my project? Of all the qestions to second guess the answer, one would think it would not be the ones relating to my project... :-?

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lily_trying
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Post by lily_trying » Wed Apr 02, 2008 2:33 am

i know how bad it would be, but i wish we were still together. maybe then i wouldn't be as hopeless as i am now, or... you scare me, but when i'm this scared i miss you.

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MusicalMorphine
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Post by MusicalMorphine » Thu Apr 03, 2008 12:10 pm

Get over yourself. kthxbi

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dncn4lyfe77
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Post by dncn4lyfe77 » Thu Apr 03, 2008 10:52 pm

I love you, and I wish you could just let yourself love me back. You're not an insensitive asshole like you tell me you are. You care. You're just afraid to get hurt.


and totally unrelated....

*scream* I can't do this anymore. I can't be a mother. I can't pretend I'm ok. I can't go to school and try to function on 3 hours of sleep. I can't handle nursing school next semester. You don't realize how easy you have it. And you're trying to tell me that you can't do it. If I can be getting A's in all my classes while taking care of a 6 week old, you surely can do well in class if you weren't a lazy ass. Don't complain that you do shitty when all you do is sit on your ass. Dumb shit. Go drink bleach and play in traffic.

Wow sorry on that one guys...
Last slip-April 19th 2008-----Aiming for 1 week SI free

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MyPlace-
http://buslist.org/phpBB/viewtopic.php?t=116415

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steady hands
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Post by steady hands » Fri Apr 04, 2008 4:18 am

I don't want to talk to you anymore.



leave me alone.

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vampirelover
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Post by vampirelover » Fri Apr 04, 2008 9:25 am

I love u (sorry)
longest with no slips - 2 years , 6 months
time since last slip : 2 days

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PassingCloud
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Post by PassingCloud » Fri Apr 04, 2008 1:05 pm

forgive me. i didn'T wnat to scare you so bad. i didn't wnat to make you cry. i really don'T want to hurt you. i'm so sorry. :cry:
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[I'm talking about my life.][I can't seem to get that through to you.]
[I'm not just talking about one person,][I'm talking about everybody.]
[I'm talking about form, I'm talking about content.][I'm talking about inter-relationships.]
[I'm talking about God, the Devil, Hell, Heaven!]
[Do you understand?]
[Finally?]
(one flew over the cuckoo's nest)

:redstar:
My Place

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Holi
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Location: In the dark and dusty recesses of my mind...

Post by Holi » Fri Apr 04, 2008 6:37 pm

Either stop fighting or drop me somewhere else
I'm seriously considering the offer that my best-friend gave me, to stay at her place for a while cause you two fighting all the time is just too much to cope with. Parents are meant to help each other aren't they?
I need to get out of here

I don't want HIM as my father... I HATE him... give me someone else, who will look after me and my mother and my little brother better, and not fuck it all up like he did. Sure Jack might be ok now, well done, but look what's it done to the rest of us, you dick.

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dawni
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Post by dawni » Sat Apr 05, 2008 10:31 am

Not everyone in your life is bloody multiple! Topic hopping does not equal multiplicity. Please just stop. I can't do this anymore. I'm not part of a multiple system because it's special and fun and I want to be; I'm part of one because that's how things work in this head. Stop trying to tell me every single person you know is also multiple because quite frankly, they probably aren't. It's not a bloody club.
While the thought is appreciated, I often don't do well with hugs so unless I ask for them, hug alternatives such as flowers or rainbows (or anything else at all, really) would be preferred please and thank you. :)

xx
I feel stronger with you close by ~ dawni's Place - all welcome.
xx

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Callisto
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Post by Callisto » Sat Apr 05, 2008 12:11 pm

im so so sorry. i wish i could take it all back. i really do. please don't give me the silent treatment today. i can't take it. please talk to me.

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marylou
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Post by marylou » Sat Apr 05, 2008 5:21 pm

i am glad that you told her. and i am glad that it is out.

she is the most incredible person. you married an amazing woman. i hope you know that. i hope you appreciate that. i hope you are sorry to your soul. i hope it all works out for you. for you two. i hope this shakes you in becoming that better person i wanted you to be. you did the first step and i am so proud of you. and i can't even tell you that. i can't give you my "well done". and that hurts so much.

i can't stop thinking about you. i want to talk to you. i want you to know how this feels. and know how it feels for you. i was to talk about the amazing grace and love i have received. and know about where things are at where you are. to know more about that thing with your dad. and with how it went with her. what you said, and what she said. and if she still loves you as much. and if you have kissed her. and if you're sleeping in the same bad anymore. and if you think it's all gonna be okay. and how you painted me in it all. how it's happening. what they are doing to help you, and if you think it's gonna work. no more lies now. you've gotta to follow through and reallywork at this. and i want to be able to encourage you. and cry with you when it's hard, and rejoice when it's better. and i can never do that now. there's so much i want to help with and share in and..
so much i still struggle with and i hope you're not feeling it. i hope you're forgetting me. i hope that for once you were too drunk to remember. i hope that this isn't hurting you as much as it's hurting me. i hope that you can recover. and get better. i hope you don't think of me and still wish.. and still wonder.. and still want..

are you as nervous as i am about seeing each other tomorrow. i am shit scared. i feel like everyone will know. and they will see it in my eyes. and she'll crack. and scream. and i'll have to see her. and see the pain and the hurt in her face. and know that i caused it. and know that i can't undo it. and that i don't deserve the chance to explain myself to her. and see the kids and.. oh god, it's terrifying.
and you..
you will be there. i'm not ready for that. not ready to see you. not ready to have to be strong. or be ashamed. not ready to avoid you, or pretend your not there. i'm not ready to have you ignore me. to have you blank me. as if i'm invisible. it's gonna hurt so bad to have to not talk to you. to see you and have you blank me is gonna be more than i can stand.
but i have to go. and be there. i owe it to her. to be there. and to see her. and see you and suck it up and deal with it.
i won't cry. not tomoro. i don't deserve it.
she's the one in pain. she's the one that deserves it all. i deserve to not be there at all. to be sitting alone. or exposed. or chucked out. i'm so unworthy of all the love that is being given to me. so unworthy of having people to walk me through this. people to hold my hand. and support me. what is that all about? i am so undeserving and i hate myself for it.

fuck this.
i can't believe i would do that. i still can't believe it. can't believe i am that horrible a person. that i am no better than all the people who have hurt me. that i am scum, just like them. i am so ashamed and disappointed in myself.
who else knows? like in your family? who knows? do they know it was someone? do they know it was me? does joe know? lorna? is she cursing the day she met me and was nice when she should've realised and slapped me and chucked me down the stairs? do your parents know? did they know before? did they meet me all those years ago and see the destruction in my eyes? did they have to watch and see it unfold, knowing that i would be the ruin of it all? do they know who i am? will i be avoiding them and you forever?
will we ever be able to look back on all this and be okay? when will we ever go for kareoke now? coco? new york?
what a waste.

still, they tell me it's gonna be okay..
chin up mate. we'll all get through this. apart.
"You loosen my chains and just ask me to trust you. But it's so much easier this way, even though I know that I am bound."

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DecemberLivy
just plain inspiring
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Post by DecemberLivy » Sat Apr 05, 2008 8:57 pm

where are you?
<center>my walpole cafe

"My life's a mess"
"That's the way it's supposed to be" - soap -
</center>

I think I'll paint roads
on my front room walls
to convince myself
that I'm going places.

Kaelyn
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Post by Kaelyn » Sat Apr 05, 2008 11:25 pm

mum, stop interfering. i'm old enough to come up with solutions myself dammit.

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PassingCloud
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Post by PassingCloud » Sun Apr 06, 2008 4:55 pm

can you just talk to me?
i don'T wanan study today.
just sit with me.
keep me safe?
Image
[I'm talking about my life.][I can't seem to get that through to you.]
[I'm not just talking about one person,][I'm talking about everybody.]
[I'm talking about form, I'm talking about content.][I'm talking about inter-relationships.]
[I'm talking about God, the Devil, Hell, Heaven!]
[Do you understand?]
[Finally?]
(one flew over the cuckoo's nest)

:redstar:
My Place

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Scatterbrain
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Post by Scatterbrain » Sun Apr 06, 2008 6:25 pm

I'm so sorry your mom said that. I'm not in your situation, but my mom has said similar things like that... I should have hugged you last night... I'm sorry. It will be ok. It really will, I promise. I love you no matter what. You will be able to come out eventually and it will be ok. I'm here and I'm glad you can talk to me. Thank you so much for listening to me and not freaking out. I think I'm starting to realize that you may not leave after all... Being around you makes me feel like everything may actually turn out ok...

~Megan
"The impossible just takes a little longer."
- HCJ (1/9/25- 2/26/08 )

"That there, that's not me/I go where I please/I walk through walls/I float down the Liffey
I'm not here/This isn't happening"
- "How to Disappear Completely" Radiohead

Place: Want to live and breathe/I want to be part of the human race
PBH: Back to the basics

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zombiepeople
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Post by zombiepeople » Mon Apr 07, 2008 1:22 am

Ok, just what the hell is wrong with you today? Is it money, problems with your bitch, what? And what ever it is, I really don't care, but just stop fucking taking it out on me. It's not just because I'm some naggy fucking bitch on her period, you're treating me like such shit today, and I never did anything to you, asshole!

Why don't you just leave me the fuck alone? I have no respect for you right now, and you dont' deserve any of the things I do for you. If my little brother wasnt' still living here, I'd fucking leave. You're just an asshole that takes his problems out on everyone around him, and the worst part of all of it is, that you don't see how you treat everyone.
"Wouldn't it be great to heal the world with only a song?"
~Serj Tankian
"Honking Antelope

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Beasty
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Post by Beasty » Mon Apr 07, 2008 3:00 am

Thanks for not fucking calling me you ASSHOLES! You could at least tell me that it would be a "couples night" or something instead of leaving me to hang. I was hoping that SOMEONE would want to hang out with me but apparently not. Nobody wants to fucking call me because they want me around. Not fucking wanted. You people never call me. Nobody ever thinks of me if plans are being made.

Well you know what? I don't fucking need you. I don't need friends at all. I can live without you people and god dammit I will! If you don't me around then I don't want you pieces of shit around! So get out of my goddamn life. I will be out of the country in five months so don't think I'l get lonely you bitches.
"No boom today. Boom tomorrow. There’s always a boom tomorrow. What? Look, somebody’s got to have some damn perspective around here. Boom, sooner or later. BOOM!" - Susan Ivanova

Eisa = Beasty's Twin

Beasty's Place!

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fadingbutterfly
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Post by fadingbutterfly » Mon Apr 07, 2008 11:16 am

I'm sorry that you are having to go through this again. Our family doesn't need this again, I hope today will go as well as can be.
I'm sorry that I talk even less than I used to. I wish I could tell you the truth.

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