Things Left Unsaid - Version 3.0 *Language*

tips on how to cope: dealing with your feelings, dealing with the consequences of self-harm in your life. share your ideas and maybe pick up some new skills, too. you don't have to want to stop to learn something new here.

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DecemberLivy
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Post by DecemberLivy » Thu Mar 20, 2008 12:23 pm

the more you scream you like girls the more I know you don't. you don't realise how well I know you. stop trying to admit to something which simply isn't true. you're curious because you've been with the same guy for years, that doesn't make you a lesbian.

would you be willing to sleep with a girl?

no. stupid drunken kisses don't count. so stop it.
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marylou
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Post by marylou » Thu Mar 20, 2008 2:58 pm

i'm wearing the wedding ring. i know it's the one you "lost".
"You loosen my chains and just ask me to trust you. But it's so much easier this way, even though I know that I am bound."

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shannon88
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Post by shannon88 » Thu Mar 20, 2008 5:56 pm

your really stupid. get a life and stay out of mine
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kittyfever
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Post by kittyfever » Thu Mar 20, 2008 8:26 pm

I would like some attention too.

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Post by Elphaba » Fri Mar 21, 2008 2:19 am

I miss you, It hurts that whenever i start to talk to you on MSN you put your busy sign on, just acknowledge me, even if it's just to say that you can't talk right now, but don't just ignore me. It's starting to feel as though you've gained a husband and a daughter and i've lost my closest friend
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silent_end
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Post by silent_end » Fri Mar 21, 2008 4:57 am

It seems that all i ever do is talk but you don't listen. I talk and talk and talk but you still don't listen. I am not okay not matter what you think and everything i not fine. i am a huge disappointment and no matter what you say i am not taking it one step at a time but I'm freaking out. i can't handle it and i wish you would clue in and give me the support i need.
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disastercake
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Post by disastercake » Fri Mar 21, 2008 5:06 am

T: You're such a dirty, awful bastard man-whore low-life of a man. I keep hearing and hearing about more and more people you fucked and tried to while you were with me! WHEN YOU SHOT ME DOWN ALL THE TIME!! HOW COULD YOU!! YOU WERE MY EVERYTHING! It kills me that it still bothers me about you. You don't deserve my feelings I had for you. You don't deserve the time, words, money, or love. You immature piece of shit. I made you my everything and now I have nothing. It makes me sick that I still think about you. It's been months. I dont' care about you at all but it still gets to me when I hear about all the more people you fucked or tried to while we were supposedly together. YOU ASKED ME TO MARRY YOU! But that meant nothing! HOw am I supposed to love again so completely? How am i supposed to trust again and give someone my heart when you tore it out? How do I get past that completely? They say you never forget your first love but I'd love nothing more than to forget you ever existed.

R: I may not have had much w/ T but I was his best friend and he was mine. Even after he left the first time we were able to tell eachother about anything and count on eachother. our foundation was friendship and we needed each other but the relatioship bullshit is what didn't work out. Why can't we ever be best friends as our foundation? We're not cheaters, we're in love and trust eachother so what's wrong with being best friends in the future. I understand you're scared, you think I"m not? I'm terrified and I dont' know if I cna do this. Every little thing makes me pull back more emotionally. I don't want to be cold, bitter, or emotionally distant. I'm trying so hard and you've been so great but this is important to me. I want to be your best friend. you say you've never gotten so close so quickly and that you feel you can talk to me about anything so why couldn't we be best friends in the future? you say you want to be with me forever but i've heard that before and that makes me learky that you'd bring that up already, not that i dont' share the feeling but i'm just scared. i don't want to be in a relatiniosp if you can't be my best friend. i love you and i just want you to give me a chance like T never did. Just be with me, please. give me a fair chance without looking for the next best thing. 'cause it's easy to beat me i'm a loser without a job and i know i cna be a bitch and unstable and i'm mean sometimes for no reason and i like to argue. i'm sorry and you don't deserve that but i don't deserve to have something so important to me just shot down. i deserve better but i don't want to lose you. so please just hear me out on what's important to me. you're important to me to so i'm willing to try really hard but there's onlky so much i can do. I love you and your daughter and we could have a great future but it has to have a solid foundation. i'm worried and just as scared as you are but don't be unfair
:bfly: -Al :bfly:

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for there you have been,
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marylou
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Post by marylou » Fri Mar 21, 2008 10:33 am

Bloody hell, I need you to be the strong one okay?!

You said that you would never draw the line. Well, okay that's not exactly the words you used, but it's close enough. It's enough to make me feel empowered and terrified all at once. Saying things like that make me feel powerful beyond measure. And giddy. And sexy. And make me want to push the boundaries even more.
I know how men work, I know how hard it would be for you to say no. I know I could probably get from you what we are both flirting with.
But I also know that it is not good for us. It's not what we both want when we are strong enough in spirit to know what we really want. And it's not me. And it's not you. I know that. But I want it all the same.
So you saying that it's up to me to draw the line...! Ugh. What am I supposed to do with that? That is the most stupid thing you have ever said. AAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And then you leave me here, stuck in a moment. And you can just laugh it off, because you've already told me that the responsibility is all mine and so it comes down to me. You can just sit there and makes jokes and tease me, whilst I'm the one in freakin inner turmoil because the responsiblity and the implications of it all are hitting home.
God. Why can't I just walk away from you?! Why do I want you so much? So badly? I was so close to it yesterday. You were too, I could feel it. The way you were looking at me; the eyes, the lips. All that nervous tension you get, it was all there. And I should've walked away from it a thousand times. Heck, I shouldn't have come out in the first place. Bloody hell. Why are we both so stupid?
So what if there is a timeline? Do you really think we're going to make it to July without getting into trouble? You really think we won't get found out? Someone will notice. Or someone will bump into us. Or I'll blab! Something. The timescale is too long to be safe. Look how far we've come already. There's nowhere good this can go. Except to end it. But I can't do that. I won't do that.
And now you say that you won't do it either. Fuck you! You're the grownup. You're the adult. You're the one with a wife and kids. You're the one that should be walking away. Instead you abdicate responsiblity, say it's all down to me. Like I'm the deviant and you're just an innocent toy. Fuck you. Fuck fuck fuck. That's a lie. A big fat lie from Satan. You better believe it's your responsibility too. Find the strength.
Although, saying that, I don't know why I expect it from you. You can't even find the courage to finish your sentences half the time. I am the courageous one. Taking it all in, thinking about it, speaking it out, confronting it all. And you just sit there, with all your things left unsaid. JUST SAY THEM ALREADY! The inferences are worse.
I'm too fucked up to make the right decision. Not when I am faced with all that's on offer. The power is too much for me to say no to. You need to be the strong one. You need to do the right thing.
Please.
"You loosen my chains and just ask me to trust you. But it's so much easier this way, even though I know that I am bound."

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caged bird
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Post by caged bird » Fri Mar 21, 2008 3:31 pm

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Being almost devastated is horrible because it lingers. But total devastation brings a kind of peace. It lets you give up.
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nadine-cee
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Post by nadine-cee » Fri Mar 21, 2008 7:25 pm

Why do you always fuck me about, pretend you care, then go stabb me i the back, what have I done, tell me and maybe I can make it better. D, why do you always ignor me, pretend I dont exsist, L gets to see you more and she dont even live with you, do you know how that makes me feel. E, why do you always lie, tell me your going out, them when I go out i see the person you was suposed to be with, with her other mates,you could at lease admit that you wasent with her
And it's those who are there, but don't notice it, that make the biggest difference.

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Holi
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Post by Holi » Sat Mar 22, 2008 12:16 am

I just don't care anymore
I'm getting worse, and I just don't care

MWR
I miss you

Help me.

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Licentia Poetica
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Post by Licentia Poetica » Sat Mar 22, 2008 3:28 am

Okay, officially - I give up now. I'm starting to feel like a stalker. You want me, you'll call me. I'll just sit by my phone until that happens. And if you don't, well, I get the message. What's to love, right?

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disastercake
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Post by disastercake » Sat Mar 22, 2008 5:12 am

i miss you so much, it's scary and i'm trying not to pull myself away, but it's hard, you know? i couldn't live with myself if i let you down and i feel like if i did id' be being selfish. i love you, and i'm trying to find myself
:bfly: -Al :bfly:

"...And once you have tasted flight,
you will walk the earth with your eyes turned skywards,
for there you have been,
and there you long to return..."
- Leonardo da Vinci

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marylou
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Post by marylou » Sat Mar 22, 2008 12:54 pm

AAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
YOU'RE SOOOOOOOOOOO INFURIATING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Why do I continue to waste my time and energy on you? Fuck it.

Except I won't, because eventually you'll say something to make me almost smile and all my anger will get diffussed... and I'll smile and flirt and joke like always.

And what the fuck is with "it won't go too far" ??!
It's already gone to far, or don't you realise that? Sneaking out to see each other, deceiving our friends, our families, all that stuff. That's a sign that it's gone too far.
Just give me your freakin' definition of what too far is. Just throw me that bone! That sentence you think I want to hear. YES, I DO WANT TO HEAR IT! If only because I hope it will be you taking responsibility.
But I don't think you will ever say it. Because then it would ruin it. The spell would be broken and it wouldn't be as much fun.
I think I'd rather you say it.

And as for last night. Last night was fun, stupid, ill-advised, dangerous, dishonouring to her, too close.
"You loosen my chains and just ask me to trust you. But it's so much easier this way, even though I know that I am bound."

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Cuppy
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Post by Cuppy » Sat Mar 22, 2008 1:41 pm

I already know that I'm not as smart as you :x grrrr


you don't have to rub it in.
Last edited by Cuppy on Sat Mar 22, 2008 6:20 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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dawni
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Post by dawni » Sat Mar 22, 2008 2:49 pm

1. Mum, please see what I can't say to you; I'm really not okay. I didn't tell you (because you are driving me nuts with your reminders that I am still married), but we have officially filed for divorce.

2. I don't want to live my life in fear of you. Maybe I deserved everything, and maybe I didn't, but I don't want to be afraid of you for the rest of my life.

3. Please come and talk to me. I hurt so desperately and I can't bear it, but I'm afraid to ask for what I need. I don't want to be a burden; but I can't trust anyone but you with this.

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calypso
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Post by calypso » Sat Mar 22, 2008 3:54 pm

I don't ever want to eat again.

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rhiannon
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Post by rhiannon » Sat Mar 22, 2008 3:57 pm

I hate you for making me feel so helpless while you were sick, and I'm a horrible person for feeling so terrified even though you had no control over whether or not you had the flu.

I am terrified, absolutely terrified, of that feeling of helplessness. I've never felt it before.
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rememberthatiloveyou
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Post by rememberthatiloveyou » Sat Mar 22, 2008 4:13 pm

n-i am done loving you. sometimes i wish we had never met, but then i know i wouldn't be who i am today. maybe that would be better, maybe i wouldn't si so much if you hadn't taught me that i meant something and that my parents' abuse couldn't define me then ignored me and treated me like shit so much. *SI triggs* because i still trust you (who knows why) i showed up at your door covered in blood and shaking and crying, and you cleaned me up and took care of me. *end triggs* who in their right mind wouldn't have? i could have died that night. but then you don't even call me for two whole weeks. what kind of bull shit is that? how could you physically see how much of a mess i was then go on ignoring me? i'm being selfish i know, but i dropped everything for you (failed a whole semester of school) to take care of you when you were diagnosed bi-polar, and you cant give me the time of day for a phone call. fuck you.

c-i'm sorry you love me and i don't love you. i wish i did. all you have ever been to me is wonderful, and i'm sorry i don't treat you better.

a-it seems like if you tell your best friend that you don't want to live any more they should do a little more than make a joke of it and ignore you...which is what you did

e-i'm really sorry that when i'm gone you'll be so sad. i think you're about the only one that will really miss me, and i hope you find someone new to be close to.

mom-i'm sorry i'm such a wreck. maybe its because i spent my childhood taking care of your drunk/hungover ass.

dad-i know i'm not ever going to be good enough for you to really love me.

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Post by breathing » Sun Mar 23, 2008 4:42 am

a - i only talk to you because i used to have a crush on your brother.

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