Suddenly lonely. *SI

rhiannon · Post by **rhiannon** » Mon Mar 03, 2008 2:13 am

I was sitting here at my computer chatting with people and googling for SI support groups in PA (there aren't any. any at all. whhhhhyyyy?).

Now suddenly I feel totally abandoned and lonely and urge-y. Like there's this energy running straight from my heart in two branches to each of my arms, and it feels like anxiety and pressure and loneliness. I have no clue where it has come from. I'm trying to breathe deeply and I just can't calm down this panicky, stressed feeling suddenly in me. I wasn't looking/reading any triggering material. I'm on the computer in the living room with my grandmother cleaning up after dinner and my dad in his room and my little brother watching TV. What's going on?

I want to SI so badly right now my vision is blurring.

I'm scared.

break the dayx3 · Post by **break the dayx3** » Mon Mar 03, 2008 2:19 am

Your not abandoned, we at bus are here for you! Try watching a movie, or listening to a favourite cd. Out here in the tri-state it's pretty country like and I know how hard it can seem. You can make it through it

rhiannon · Post by **rhiannon** » Mon Mar 03, 2008 2:34 am

I know you are all here for me, but it feels artificial. I don't know any of you irl. You support everyone that traipses along through here and it bothers me. It feels like a generic, hey-we're-the-members-and-mods-and-we've-stopped-SIing-so-now-we're-gonna-spew-pleasant-things-at-you.

disastercake · Post by **disastercake** » Tue Mar 04, 2008 1:55 am

feel free to pm me if you want more of a connection. this all feels artificial to me at times also, as one finds generic posts and common replies to many things

funkymusic · Post by **funkymusic** » Tue Mar 04, 2008 2:52 am

rhiannon wrote:I know you are all here for me, but it feels artificial. I don't know any of you irl. You support everyone that traipses along through here and it bothers me. It feels like a generic, hey-we're-the-members-and-mods-and-we've-stopped-SIing-so-now-we're-gonna-spew-pleasant-things-at-you.

Yes, it feels artificial to me sometimes as well.

But the thing is....

Hmm, how to say this... You said "we've-stopped-SIing." That's not true. I haven't, not successful yet, anyway. But I'm trying. I'm on here to get support and advice and to try to help others. I suppose this might just not be your thing. But I really hope that helped a little. Or something. If you want to, feel free to PM me.

Or you get let a friend in on your SI secret to get the less "artificial" support.

Suddenly lonely. *SI

Suddenly lonely. *SI

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