Prisoners of Suburbia (raise your hands)

tips on how to cope: dealing with your feelings, dealing with the consequences of self-harm in your life. share your ideas and maybe pick up some new skills, too. you don't have to want to stop to learn something new here.

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Mustard Seed
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Prisoners of Suburbia (raise your hands)

Post by Mustard Seed » Thu Feb 21, 2008 6:06 pm

I can't take this anymore. I look out the window and see the same dreary thing every day. It's like an ugly oil painting covered with dust. I remember when I used to live in a big city. Despite all of life's troubles, at least I could count on looking out the window, watching people hurrying about, losing myself in the excitement and energy of motion. But now my view is an empty street with maybe an occasional SUV rushing off to some distant place I can only dream of.

I should add that I hate driving. When I lived in the city I used to walk everywhere, just like everyone else, and it afforded me the opportunity to experience life, rather than watch it through a windshield.

Neighbours? What are they? Oh, you mean those shadowy forms that I see occasionally peeking through their windows? (I shouldn't talk. I'm one myself). People don't communicate here. People don't look at other people. If you do, they'll think you're a psycho rapist or something. Keep your head down, water your lawn and pay your taxes on time. That's all that matters here.

I'm a freaking prisoner.

Yesterday I browsed the apartment listings in NYC just for a laugh. Like I could ever afford to live there... :cry:

I'm trapped. Trapped. Trapped. Is there anyone else who knows what I'm talking about?

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Post by Green Beauty » Thu Feb 21, 2008 9:13 pm

I feel stuck in a loop, there is nothing that ever surprises me now, i've seen it all before. Each day seems the same, it all blends into an overall nothingness of an existance :-?

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Post by lizvlnc » Thu Feb 21, 2008 10:42 pm

i know exactly how you feel.
ha, i wish i lived in chicago...
there's no one ever around doing anything.
its always quiet, no excitement. and tons of stuck up rich people.
i hate living in the suburbs. everyone's cooped up in their house.

:x i hate it here!
people are more alive in the city.

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Post by funkymusic » Thu Feb 21, 2008 11:07 pm

Yeah, I totally know what you mean. I feel like every day is the same. So monotonous. So dull. Nothing new.

That's why I like to be crazy! It makes life a bit more interesting!

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Post by Orelanna » Thu Feb 21, 2008 11:52 pm

Stagnation, eh? Yup, same shit different day. Although I am tweeking with the details and trying to get myself out of the rut.

Never had suburbia growing up, always jealous of suburnanites and their roast dinners. Then lived there for a while after my degree...it nearly killed me. Now though, I am seeing a lovely chap who is suburbia personified (life), and like to visit the strange land of groomed gardens and lace curtains.

Can't help but feel disapointed by things, most things. Trying to cultivate an appreciation for the little things, which never disappoint, like tea leaves and olive oil soap.

Terrified of settling, and more terrified of aspiring to things which don't exist.

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Post by Mustard Seed » Fri Feb 22, 2008 1:11 am

"stagnation"
"monotony"
"stuck in a loop"

Yup.

It's nice to hear I'm not alone, though I feel bad for all of you. How do you cope?

I've been watching a lot of movies, especially films with big sets, lots of people, dynamic scenery. While I'm watching the film I feel better, but the minute it's over, I crash hard. I feel worse than before. I dunno, I'm all out of ideas.

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Post by lizvlnc » Fri Feb 22, 2008 1:51 am

i don't even cope. ha, i gave up hope.
its too hard to change where i live..,
thank god some of my family lives in chicago.
so i can at least have one day different from all the others.

talking about this makes me feel so trapped up right now.
how bad is it for you guys?

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Post by Mustard Seed » Fri Feb 22, 2008 2:18 am

Chicago rocks. I've never lived there, but I've visited a few times. On my last trip I even looked at apartments, picked up an application or two.

I do that sometimes... look for apartments in big cities. Like no way I'll ever be able to afford it, but it's sorta like therapy I guess, telling myself, "maybe one day..."

Yeah I'm feeling really trapped too. Suffocated. I don't even know how I got myself into this mess. I thought I was just passing thru, but I got sucked in, and now I can't get out. Like some stupid Twilight Zone episode

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Post by lizvlnc » Fri Feb 22, 2008 2:27 am

the apartments in downtown are amazing.
i wouldn't be able to afford one either haha.

but its always okay to dream :)

hey, the suburbs can do that to you.
you think you can leave but you always go back.
how did you end up living in the suburbs?

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Post by midnightbluebird » Fri Feb 22, 2008 8:48 am

ah yes, the suburbs.

i grew up in the suburbs, *shudder* and i hope to never return.

i don't know if this would be helpful, but-
recently i looked back into "co-housing communities" to be an option someday-- i like the idea behind it, that you have intentional relationships with your neighbors, and you belong and contribute to the community, and have some communal spaces and resources and dinners, but you have your own house and yard and everything too.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cohousing

although, the picture on that website makes it look not that different from the suburbs! ahhh! but there are some that are in cities and also rural areas, too. there's a directory online.

but if you are stuck in the 'burbs- maybe you could try to spend time with your neighbors? do you have a neighborhood organization?

although, one bonus about the suburbs is more wildlife and better birdwatching then in the city! anyways...

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Post by funkymusic » Fri Feb 22, 2008 5:22 pm

Yeah, I live in some suburbs near Washington, DC, so it certainly could be worse. Still, though. Some day, I will live some place with more variety! Some place where the scene is different every day!!

Maybe I could live on a train.... :lol:

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Post by Mustard Seed » Fri Feb 22, 2008 5:23 pm

lizvlnc wrote:hey, the suburbs can do that to you.
you think you can leave but you always go back.
how did you end up living in the suburbs?
Al Pacino in Godfather III:
"Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in!!!" :x

I grew up in the burbs, broke away to go to college in the big city, lived in the city for a few years (loved it)... but then a family crisis forced me to come back to my hometown (temporarily, I thought)... but two years later I'm still here :evil:

what's your story, lizv?
midnightbluebird wrote: i don't know if this would be helpful, but-
recently i looked back into "co-housing communities" to be an option someday-- i like the idea behind it, that you have intentional relationships with your neighbors, and you belong and contribute to the community
I think that's what I'm really looking for. I want to feel like I'm part of a community again. I want to see energetic people around me, and somehow plug myself into that lifeforce.

Really it could be anywhere, in a city, in the country or on some distant mountaintop. But the key is that I need to see signs of life.

Unfortunately I don't think cohousing would work for me because I have major problems connecting to people on a 1-to-1 basis. I think that's why I crave city life, because you can be around other people but still stay anonymous and be able to hide if you want. I do a lot of hiding.
midnightbluebird wrote: although, one bonus about the suburbs is more wildlife and better birdwatching then in the city! anyways...
Good point, all things being equal, I'd love a natural setting. My ideal life would be in a "green city", or at least a city that has tons of parks nearby. I've heard some of the Pacific NW cities (Portland, Seattle, Vancouver, San Francisco) are like that.

midnightbluebird wrote: i grew up in the suburbs, *shudder* and i hope to never return.
My advice to anyone who makes it out. Don't EVER look back! It will swallow you and drag your soul down into a black ETERNAL ABYSS OF DEATH. Well maybe I'm exaggerating. But it really sucks for me :(
funkymusic wrote:Maybe I could live on a train.... :lol:
That is the coolest idea ever. Seriously that idea rocks!

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Post by MusicalMorphine » Fri Feb 22, 2008 5:27 pm

Try living in the UK, it's like the most depressing boring place ever. I went to Florida for my holiday last year, imagine how I felt when I came back to England.

Even when I went to London for a few days, I came back home and balled my eyes out.

I'd love to live in NYC.
:dkpurpstar:

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Post by Mustard Seed » Fri Feb 22, 2008 5:34 pm

MusicalMorphine wrote:Try living in the UK, it's like the most depressing boring place ever. I went to Florida for my holiday last year, imagine how I felt when I came back to England.
I've heard of that phenomenon...
Something about a big warm yellow ball in the sky that doesn't exist in most parts of the UK :lol:

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Post by MusicalMorphine » Fri Feb 22, 2008 5:44 pm

Haha yeah. I mean, it does get sunny here but everything looks so grimey and small, compared to over there and I think it happened to be cloudy when we came back lol.

Dallas49

Post by Dallas49 » Fri Feb 22, 2008 6:09 pm

I live in a village that sucks the life out of you.
The small minded bigets that value you by the car you drive.
To be an individual is a crime to forgive and not judge is a crime. The grayness of our weather seeping into our lives making colours drain away leaving a sadness and absence of positive emotion.
The sameness of it all keeps us tired of life.

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Post by balletomane » Fri Feb 22, 2008 7:59 pm

I hope that you are able to find a living situation that suits your tastes soon. It is really frustrating to be in an environment that feels uncomfortable to you. I grew up in a rural area and I'm attending college in a small city. I love both. I am really lucky in that way.

Dallas49

Post by Dallas49 » Sat Feb 23, 2008 12:44 pm

Thank you. I have been thinking about this and I think its the feeling of not fitting in myself that has shapped how I feel about where I live :crazyeyes: [/quote]

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Post by lizvlnc » Tue Feb 26, 2008 12:09 am

ha, sorry i haven't been on in awhile.
a lot of stuff has happened....

but anyway,

i used to live in the city.
but it just got way too bad over there.
so i had to move back to the suburbs.
yay?

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