New wishing thread! ~ advice to the person above you.

tips on how to cope: dealing with your feelings, dealing with the consequences of self-harm in your life. share your ideas and maybe pick up some new skills, too. you don't have to want to stop to learn something new here.

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heidi4battle
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Post by heidi4battle » Thu Mar 29, 2007 12:57 am

I know that seeking help can be a scare thing. I want you to remember that you are worth it. When the going gets tough that sunny days are coming again
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Post by recovering4me » Tue May 08, 2007 2:26 am

try doing little things to start out with. like random acts of kindness or something. it can be small like sending someone a hug on bus or replying to a post that nobody has replied to or something like that....

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Post by Licentia Poetica » Thu May 10, 2007 11:23 am

Hey there, it's been a little while. Have you paid your bills? If not, is there some kind of financial assistance you could try out?

_______________

I seem to be always so caught up in what has to be done, or feeling awful, or trying to prevent feeling awful.. *sighs* I wish I could just *live* for a day.
:redstar: the time to tell a person you care is now :redstar: the paper crane chain of hope :redstar:

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Post by Arcadia » Thu May 10, 2007 11:55 pm

Licentia - write a list of everything that has to be done. Label it "Tomorrow". And give yourself a day off. Do something fun, and ignore your repsonibilities. Just for one day :)

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Post by JadaKiss » Fri May 11, 2007 12:07 am

lelijk lijk wrote:
I wish i could teel the people i love the way i feel before it tears me apart and i can't speak about it without crying or yelling.

I wish I could walk away from problems before I exaserbate them...(make them worse)(i don't thinks thats spelt right...i just wanted to use a big wod...sorry. lol)
Yours is a tough one... when it comes to opening up to the ones you love, feel free to cry or yell if you have to, but write it all down first... everything you feel, and then connect with the person you're looking to talk to and let them know you're having a hard time talking about it and so you'd like to read them a letter, first... just to open the discussion.

As for walking away from problems before you make them worse, I'm not 100% sure what you mean. #1 you shouldn't walk away from problems, so you'll have to learn to face them head on... maybe talking to a "safe" person like a Therapist or friend. #2 If your problems are getting worse, it may be that you're avoiding the true source of the problem because it's overwhelming? I don't know... that's what I do sometimes... so that's a slow process in learning to cope with them before they get worse. Ask for help, and do not be afraid to.


**Ok, for me I just wish I could get my boyfriend to understand that cutting is a coping mechanism that isn't pleasant, but isn't something that I can always stop myself from doing. He feels guilty, heartbroken, and sad about it, and yet he wants me to be honest with him.... and when I do, he feels worse and then I feel guilty, etc., I'm trying to not keep cuts a secret, but I don't want to hurt him anymore.**

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Post by Porcelain_Doll » Fri May 11, 2007 11:27 am

Just tell him that it's not his fault, it's something you're working on, but it is hard. Maybe show him a few websites. Just keep telling him. Eventually he'll understand. It might take a long time, it certainly did with my boyfriend, but don't give up.


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Post by the edge of the world » Sun May 13, 2007 10:38 pm

I wish I didn't feel pathetic.

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Post by balletomane » Sun May 13, 2007 11:15 pm

Porcelain Doll: Have you considered writing them a letter explaining that you need your privacy?

Edge: It sounds like changing negative self talk might be helpful to you. What are you saying to yourself that is making you feel pathetic?

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Post by the edge of the world » Mon May 14, 2007 3:45 am

oh sorry... I didn't see the "new" part... with the advice... sorry, porcelain doll! :oops:

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b: what is the question?

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Post by funkymusic » Mon Jan 21, 2008 11:56 pm

Balletomane, maybe if you just get started, something will come out. That works for me, sometimes. Just get the words moving.

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Post by Licentia Poetica » Tue Jan 22, 2008 12:52 am

*nods* I wish that too. It's taken me a long time to realise that this isn't just the way things are - it's because my life view is clouded from my illness. And illnesses can be treated. But even knowing that, it's still really hard to believe on the bad days. I hope things get better for you funkymusic.

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Post by funkymusic » Mon Jan 28, 2008 6:40 pm

Thanks, El. Just keep holding on. I feel that way too, a lot. If we all hold on, that day might come someday. ****HUG**** I hope you find it soon.

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I wish I knew if my friend doesn't mind me venting to him and asking him for advice all the time. If I knew he minded, I'd give him some space. If he doesn't mind, though, I really need him.

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Post by lily_trying » Tue Jan 29, 2008 10:54 pm

i can definitely understand & relate to that. is there a way you could bring this up to him -- maybe sending a letter/e-mail if writing it out is easier? or try just bringing a little of it up? since you feel in need, if you can't talk to him right away, is there any other places or people you could talk things out to for now? thinking of you & wishing you luck with everything. :star:

***********

i wish i could bring myself to ask for help. i wish i didn't even need to ask for help, but i know it's past that point... i just wish i was able to ask for help, it feels like i'm too far into hiding things that it's impossible now.

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Post by caged bird » Tue Jan 29, 2008 11:01 pm

could you try by just reachig out for help with something small, maybe something unrelated to how you're feeling, get yourself used to accepting help, train your brain into realising that there are people out there who can help, look for people you trust and learn to use them for support.



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Post by KittyCath » Wed Jan 30, 2008 2:02 am

Lets see, this is a problem for me too. I think that everyone should know how I am feeling. I really feel defeated when people around me dont "realize" how horibly I am suffering. Ok this reasoning isnt fair to me or you. Maybe you should find that one person whom you can really trust and depend on and "tell" them how much you are struggling. Maybe they will be the one to give you that magical phrase that enables you to become stronger. (I think I'm rambling, this is advice I probably would give myself).


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I wish I had that "hunger" for life that I use to have.

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Post by shadowsandregrets » Wed Jan 30, 2008 3:08 am

Is it that you lost your *hunger* or that it's bogged down by the daily drones and struggles of life? Does that hunger reside around a passion of yours? Maybe take a day and do something that is completely out of the normal everyday routine, maybe something that is focussed around that passion. Take the time to rediscover how exciting that passion is. Give yourself a day where your only goal is to have fun and hopfully rediscover that *hunger*



I wish all the phone calls I have made in the past month would show for something, a reliable, helpful T.

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Post by Licentia Poetica » Tue Mar 04, 2008 1:08 am

Have you found a T yet? I hope you haven't given up trying.

:star:

I wish I'd started the semester in a better emotional place. Uniwork is overwhelming.
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Post by funkymusic » Tue Mar 04, 2008 2:49 am

Hmm, I'm not quite sure what to say to that, El, because I have not yet been to Uni. I do think, however, that there isn't really sense in wishing for the past to change. Instead, can you think, "Since I don't like the way I started this semester, I will try to start next semester better!"? Or something like that...? Good luck!

-------

I wish...
I knew what to do with myself

And (sorry, but I would really like to do two), I wish I knew when I was wanted.

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Post by Lirit » Tue Mar 04, 2008 9:06 am

In the longterm, that's a tricky question. Sometimes the best way to figure it out is to just get through to the end of the day.

As for your second one... ask. The worst that happens is you're told no, which comes with its own set of challenges, but then at least you know.


I wish I knew how to quiet my head so I could simplify my life.
What’s in store for me in the direction I don’t take? - Jack Kerouac

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Post by ultimate starshine » Mon Mar 17, 2008 1:49 am

Lirit wrote: I wish I knew how to quiet my head so I could simplify my life.
I m not one for advice usually but heck im gonna give it a go.
the only thing i can advise you to do is to get some time to yourself. Take youreself off on your own to your favourite place and do what you do best.
write?- a story with where you are as the inspiration
art?- paint/draw where you are
drama? stage a play to do with where you are
Hopefully that helps hun. Good luck.

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