My Best Friend and Me both SI

Saza13 · Post by **Saza13** » Sun Jan 06, 2008 4:57 pm

Me and my best friend both SI.
I try so hard to help her that i don't care about my self anymore.
She doesn't listen to anything i say and won't tell anyone else. I feel like i am carrying her burden as well as mine and i don't know what to do. I'm glad to help her and glad she confided in me but i feel helpless.
Please help.

Oh and if u r reading this Cassie, i'm sorry to spread ur business around but i feel that i don't know how to help you and u seem to be getting worse,

Li'lRuby · Post by **Li'lRuby** » Mon Jan 07, 2008 3:46 am

Have you and yoru friend thought about getting proffesional help or even a third person in to help you both?
I really admire you for wanting to help your friend and can totally understand that the task seems impossiable. It might even be impossiable without another person helping. How can two people who are both struggling help each other (I mean this in a nice way--I was trying to help someone who was struggling with depression when I was struggling with it as well....not good. We ended up having sob stories and nothing changed).
Take care of yourself. Don't break the friendship, continue to stand by one another. Two can defend themselves better than one. But do consider getting other help.
Take care.

Chaocontrol6 · Post by **Chaocontrol6** » Mon Jan 07, 2008 1:02 pm

I know EXACTLY how you feel there!! I mean me and my best mate also SI and if it wasn't for me opening up to him I wouldn't have found out about him, which is an odd thing. It's hard me trying to tell him I'm trying really hard to stop, because I know he still does it, which I'm not too bothered about as that is his choice and not mine, however I feel bad stopping and seeing him carrying on, know what i mean?

However the best of luck sorting it out, I wish I could help out a bit more...

Jason

Saza13 · Post by **Saza13** » Mon Jan 07, 2008 6:05 pm

hanks, but the thing is, we used to tell each other stuff on bebo because some stuff we couldn't say to each others faces but now she's deleted it and i'm scared we'll be even further apart and more distant and then i'll be no use to her.
I guess i am being hypocritical but i don't tell her to stop i just try and be there for her but the more i help the more she pushes me away.

xxx

Chaocontrol6 · Post by **Chaocontrol6** » Mon Jan 07, 2008 6:46 pm

I'm sorry to hear about that, perhaps respect if she doesn't want the help, just do whatever you do to keep her happy, and then perhaps she'll open up to you some more? I can't say for sure but that's the best I can give

Best of luck, keep it up

Jason

Saza13 · Post by **Saza13** » Mon Jan 07, 2008 7:26 pm

Yeah well, turns out, she comes on here and has read all of this. I made this topic on this forum and another one and she opened up and told me everything kinda.
But thanks anyway guys. And keep me posted on how stuff goes 4 u!

xxxxxxxxxxxx
hugs and kisses 4 eva

xxxxxxxx

C.R.S · Post by **C.R.S** » Mon Jan 07, 2008 8:23 pm

well seeing as i suggested this site you'd think i would.

Saza13 · Post by **Saza13** » Tue Jan 08, 2008 5:39 pm

Well yeah
woteva

Licentia Poetica · Post by **Licentia Poetica** » Wed Jan 09, 2008 3:31 pm

Try to be open to hearing and saying what you both are feeling about helping each other, as well as talking about what's going on. It's important to be able to be honest if you can't handle things, and know that it's not personal but sometimes we all need some breaks from being supportive.

Chaocontrol6 · Post by **Chaocontrol6** » Wed Jan 09, 2008 11:38 pm

Good point Licentia, as nice as it is getting support, sometimes it can feel all too...well...plain annoying sometimes and to just get away from it or not hear it from time to time feels necessary.

Anyway hope you can both keep together, it's nice when you have faces to talk to as well as just the text from a computer

Jason

recovering4me · Post by **recovering4me** » Thu Jan 10, 2008 3:11 am

you need to be honest with her and say hey, i can only help you to a point and i can only help you if you want me to help you. but you need to take care of yourself first. its a hard thing to do, but that's what you HAVE to do.

WildChild101 · Post by **WildChild101** » Thu Jan 10, 2008 9:12 pm

One of my best friend used to SI.
But it wasnt to cope with his feelings or anything, i think he just liked the feeling of it, but yeah. He's stopped now, but its good to talk to him about it.

But a friendship doesnt work if youre giving everything and getting nothing back then it doesnt work. I know this from experience, so make sure you feel like youre getting support off her too.
x

bus

My Best Friend and Me both SI

My Best Friend and Me both SI

Thanks but....

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