Things Left Unsaid - Version 3.0 *Language*
i dont like it when you do that. it makes me feel wrong. like i did wrong. i didnt. it isnt fair.
but i did wrong before. and you dont even know. you dont know what your daughter is. you look at her like she's dirt sometimes and you dont even know the half of it.
but i did wrong before. and you dont even know. you dont know what your daughter is. you look at her like she's dirt sometimes and you dont even know the half of it.
And the birds up on the wires and the telegraph poles
They can always fly away from this rain and this cold
Place
- red umbrellas
- beyond inspiring
- Posts: 8175
- Joined: Mon Mar 01, 2004 8:50 am
- Location: Sydney
1) I'm sorry I wasn't there. Sometimes I don't know what to say anymore. None of the words come out right and nothing ever changes. But I am sorry.
2) I'm worried that it will have been said all wrong. I want to apologise. Yet, I don't, because it's what I believe. And you have to see all of this...what you're doing and what you're doing to me.
I hate the melodrama attached to all this. I really do. I want it to be simple. But I'm terrified that the simple answer is that you're really not that interested.
3) I don't know if you even care anymore. It definitely doesn't seem like it. Don't worry. It's happened before.
2) I'm worried that it will have been said all wrong. I want to apologise. Yet, I don't, because it's what I believe. And you have to see all of this...what you're doing and what you're doing to me.
I hate the melodrama attached to all this. I really do. I want it to be simple. But I'm terrified that the simple answer is that you're really not that interested.
3) I don't know if you even care anymore. It definitely doesn't seem like it. Don't worry. It's happened before.
And excuses and excuses and excuses
Hold On To Yourself - Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds
"We paint a picture of a scenario - and then we become afraid of it" - Andrea Fella
- mephistopheles
- cow control
- Posts: 24355
- Joined: Thu May 26, 2005 4:40 pm
- Location: London
i keep making excuses for why you didn't call.
but pretty much, you promised you would and you didn't.
you were texting and stuff and didn't even mention it.
bastard.
but pretty much, you promised you would and you didn't.
you were texting and stuff and didn't even mention it.
bastard.
you two make me sick....you suck everyone into your messed up relationship by making out you're both victims. well you're not. having you're dad put your inheritance into an account you can't access until you're 25 doesn't make you a victim. neither does the fact that your parents pay more attention to your 7year old sister who has cerebal palsy. you're 20 and perfectly healthy, so grow up for heavens sake.
- Licentia Poetica
- forum moderator emeritus
- Posts: 24935
- Joined: Sat Jan 25, 2003 10:06 am
- Gender: Female
- Location: Australia
- Contact:
you were in my nightmare last night. it felt so real.
i miss you. i wish you would email me.
somehow i'm looking forward to my nightmares now.. which is an odd juxtaposition.
i miss you. i wish you would email me.
somehow i'm looking forward to my nightmares now.. which is an odd juxtaposition.
If we knew each other's secrets, what comforts we should find.
John Churton Collins
- southsider
- building community
- Posts: 694
- Joined: Sun Nov 17, 2002 6:20 am
I understand what you're going through more than I can tell you.
Rather, I *could* tell you, but I wouldn't, because you don't know me that well. I just don't open myself that much, that publicly anymore. Not when we have a mutual friend, and I have no idea what you think of me in the first place. It'd be like trouncing all over your boundaries... and I don't do that anymore. It'd be like me being my 17-year-old self, and I'm not like that anymore.
Still, I am thinking a lot about you this morning and sending you good thoughts. I wish there were some way of letting you know that I understand without actually *telling* you so. I respect you a lot, but this isn't something I'd say to someone I just 'respect' without having some kind of a history with them. It's too personal and vulnerable and... while I want you to know that I understand, I don't want to open it up for discussion. *sigh*
Rather, I *could* tell you, but I wouldn't, because you don't know me that well. I just don't open myself that much, that publicly anymore. Not when we have a mutual friend, and I have no idea what you think of me in the first place. It'd be like trouncing all over your boundaries... and I don't do that anymore. It'd be like me being my 17-year-old self, and I'm not like that anymore.
Still, I am thinking a lot about you this morning and sending you good thoughts. I wish there were some way of letting you know that I understand without actually *telling* you so. I respect you a lot, but this isn't something I'd say to someone I just 'respect' without having some kind of a history with them. It's too personal and vulnerable and... while I want you to know that I understand, I don't want to open it up for discussion. *sigh*
☼ there is hope ☼
place
"If you really want to stay clean, you will find a way. If not, you will find an excuse."
- DecemberLivy
- just plain inspiring
- Posts: 7474
- Joined: Tue Sep 21, 2004 10:38 am
- Location: London
i miss you so much, dad. things used to be so different. it hurts that you found it so easy to step out of my life and make no effort to see me or aneurin. now all i get is a bit of cash on my birthday, if you remember, which you often dont. alot of people see my anger towards you, they think i hate you. i can't hate you, i love you because you're my dad but you're doing a shit job at it. it just makes me so utterly sad to think about it. you haven't really tried to see me, you obviously think you try but you act like you are the center of the universe and when you turn up i should drop everything. i can't do that anymore because you're not a part of my life.
the worst thing about you is your ability to make me feel completely guilty for anything you've done. you look at me, and all i want to do is apologise for not being a good daughter. i can't live like that.
even worse than that is that you haven't even said sorry. you reduced my mother to suicide and left me to pick up the pieces. you abandoned your children when they needed you most. your son is rapidly growing up without a dad and you are still his idol. i can't bare to see him so thrilled to see you, when you hardly make the effort nowdays.
thanks to you i've got huge issues with being away from my mother, because she was all i had when you decided life with us wasn't good enough, and i still find it very difficult to trust men. you basically ruined us, dad, and we are only now recovering.
i dont know what else to say to you. despite all you've done i love you, but i want you to understand what you did was wrong. knowing you, this will never happen.
the worst thing about you is your ability to make me feel completely guilty for anything you've done. you look at me, and all i want to do is apologise for not being a good daughter. i can't live like that.
even worse than that is that you haven't even said sorry. you reduced my mother to suicide and left me to pick up the pieces. you abandoned your children when they needed you most. your son is rapidly growing up without a dad and you are still his idol. i can't bare to see him so thrilled to see you, when you hardly make the effort nowdays.
thanks to you i've got huge issues with being away from my mother, because she was all i had when you decided life with us wasn't good enough, and i still find it very difficult to trust men. you basically ruined us, dad, and we are only now recovering.
i dont know what else to say to you. despite all you've done i love you, but i want you to understand what you did was wrong. knowing you, this will never happen.
<center>my walpole cafe
"My life's a mess"
"That's the way it's supposed to be" - soap -
</center>
I think I'll paint roads
on my front room walls
to convince myself
that I'm going places.
"My life's a mess"
"That's the way it's supposed to be" - soap -
</center>
I think I'll paint roads
on my front room walls
to convince myself
that I'm going places.
for the best part of two years you made me feel dirty when it came to sex and like there was something wrong with me......but now i realise that it wasnt me that was the problem at all, it was you and the fact that you had treat me like a whore to make yourself feel better because when it comes down to it, you're crap in bed.
- southsider
- building community
- Posts: 694
- Joined: Sun Nov 17, 2002 6:20 am
I really feel sorry for you. It's not nice, but it's true. I hope you're better off than I give you credit for.
☼ there is hope ☼
place
"If you really want to stay clean, you will find a way. If not, you will find an excuse."
- Ruby Tuesday
- just plain inspiring
- Posts: 7103
- Joined: Fri Nov 12, 2004 10:36 am
- Location: on the floor of a library
i didn't want to come back here. There's nothing really here for me now. I wanted to stay with you.
"I saw spiders where there were no spiders" - patti smith
"'My hands', she said, 'I've left them somewhere and now I can't find them.' She was holding her hands in the air, helplessly, as if she couldn't move them.
'They're right there', I said, 'On the end of your arms'
'No, no', she said impatiently, 'Not those , those are no good anymore. My other hands, the ones I had before, the ones I could touch things with.'" - margaret atwood
place
"'My hands', she said, 'I've left them somewhere and now I can't find them.' She was holding her hands in the air, helplessly, as if she couldn't move them.
'They're right there', I said, 'On the end of your arms'
'No, no', she said impatiently, 'Not those , those are no good anymore. My other hands, the ones I had before, the ones I could touch things with.'" - margaret atwood
place
- wilson
- just plain inspiring
- Posts: 7567
- Joined: Wed Oct 18, 2006 2:06 am
- Location: aussie-land Age: eighteen
- Contact:
no i dont hate you, i just... if i cme visit im scared you will die while i am over there and i dont think i could recover from seeing you laying there dead. your the only person in my family i have ever looked up to and soon i will never be able to look at you again. i am a chicken i know. but i just cant. im sorry
<center>R.I.P. 23/07/89 - 05/11/01
R.I.P. 1953-2008
counting stars
im over existing in limbo
im over the myths and placebos
i dont really mind if i just fade away
</center>
R.I.P. 1953-2008
counting stars
im over existing in limbo
im over the myths and placebos
i dont really mind if i just fade away
</center>
B: Thank you for that night that you told me that you thought I was beautiful.
I wish things could have been easier for you here.
I don't think you'd want me to get drunk...I won't...but I wish I could.
M: I miss you so much.
He misses you so much.
Sometimes I wonder how we'll keep doing this without you.
I think...we could be having a lot of fun.
I wish things could have been easier for you here.
I don't think you'd want me to get drunk...I won't...but I wish I could.
M: I miss you so much.
He misses you so much.
Sometimes I wonder how we'll keep doing this without you.
I think...we could be having a lot of fun.
If you believe everyone is the future
If you believe that nothing ever goes wrong
If you believe that deep down inside you're really falling apart
Know that everybody's weak and everyone can be strong. - Sloan
You always have a choice.
If you believe that nothing ever goes wrong
If you believe that deep down inside you're really falling apart
Know that everybody's weak and everyone can be strong. - Sloan
You always have a choice.
i don't hate you for how you treated me
i don't hate you for what you said to me
i don't hate you for who you are.
i hate you because you've turned me into someone who hates someone else and who gets so angry because of them that they want to smash the world to pieces.
that's why i hate you. its why i will hate you for as long as it takes for me to lose this blackened part of me that you've unearthed.
i don't hate you for what you said to me
i don't hate you for who you are.
i hate you because you've turned me into someone who hates someone else and who gets so angry because of them that they want to smash the world to pieces.
that's why i hate you. its why i will hate you for as long as it takes for me to lose this blackened part of me that you've unearthed.
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