death of friend

[XtearsXofXpain]

well....i just found out one of my friends killed himself. damn, this day just keeps getting better...so ummmmm how the hell do you deal with the fact that your friend killed themselves?

[Chaocontrol6]

I wish I could say, but I've never run through a friend dying, I'm so sorry that I can't help you, all I can advice on is not on the fact he's gone, but think of all the happy times you have had together?

Sorry if I'm not much help, wish I could help more, but take care of yourself too ok? Rest In Peace friend of XtearsXofXpain, god bless you.

Jason

[XtearsXofXpain]

i mean...ive lost friends before...but iwasnt expecting this one. this wasnt expected at all. and i dont deal with feelings. i just dont. i dont want this to build up, which is what its already doing. augh, i just dont know what to do...


oh, and thank you for at least posting. its nice to know someone cares.

[Chaocontrol6]

It's okay, hope you can find some way around coping through this, it must be hard, I wish I have gone through the situation so I could help you more...

And I'm always listening, and I bet I wont be the only one replying, you are definitely not worthless, rather priceless

Take care

Jason

[XtearsXofXpain]

i know what you meant by saying you wish you had been throuhg this so you could help, but really, you dont. i mean, that would mean losing a friend. so you really dont ewant to go through this. im just going to go lie down and probably sleep. maybe.

[Chaocontrol6]

I guess thinking of losing a friend in my mind is really bad, it's just so hard to see someone go through the reality of it...

I guess sleep could help, get some energy back and relax you a bit. Hope it pays off a bit.

[heliotropes]

I'm so sorry. Losing a friend is horrible. And suicide leaves you with so many unanswered questions. It makes you feel so powerless.

It's important that you give yourself time to grieve, and don't try to block out your feelings about the death. It might be painful now, but you will find it will be easier later on.

Was anybody else close to him? It might help to talk together about what's happened.

Take care of you.

xx

[Licentia Poetica]

I'm sorry. It hurts so much to lose someone, let alone someone to suicide. Death affects us in ways even we don't understand, because it's such a difficult thing to grasp because we simply just. dont. know.

There's no real answer to your question, I'm afraid. You have to go through your body's natural grieving process. My advice would be to just let yourself feel it. If you feel hurt it's okay, if you feel angry or scared, or sad, or numb or anything else. (even things you might feel like you're "bad" for feeling like jealous). Whatever it is you may be feeling, it's okay. You're not bad for feeling it. Don't try to change how you feel about it.

When it happened to me, I was in shock for a while. I couldn't make the smallest decisions and I couldn't eat or sleep, or hardly talk. And I thought the pain would last forever.

It's been a few years now, and I promise you the pain doesn't last forever. It's not that you "get over" it, or you forget the person, it just kind of eventually and very gradually morphs into something you can live with, and accept peacefully.

If you're having a lot of difficulty accepting it at first, or you know, even if you're not, it's a really good idea to talk to someone in real life. It's totally okay to ask for help if you need it. How do you feel about some grief councelling?

Have you been to a funeral? It helps, in a way. I wasn't able to go to the funeral of my friend, so what I did was I did a couple of things like planting a tree in her honour, and organising a suicide charity thing at my school, and a few other things. It helped me. I had to DO something. Maybe check out the tribute place on the expressions forum.

Hang in there

[recovering4me]

its hard, but you can make it through, just allow yourself to feel whatever feels right. if you want to be angry with them thats fine, or if you need to cry thats fine too. im here if you want to talk just shoot me a pm ive been through suicides a few times.

[raveneleni]

i had not quite the same situation when i was younger, my friend died, and it was really unexpected to, tho not suicide. I found it really hard, but i found it helped to think about the good stuff, not that she wasnt there anymore, cause thats probably how theyd want you to think about them. Theres a couple of songs that always remind me of my friend, and whenever i hear them it makes me remember somehting good that happened, and it helps me when i miss her.
i realise this might not help you, cause everyone is different, but you will find what works for you, and it does get easier, even though it doesnt seem like it right now.

*hugs* hope your ok

[tesla]

Oh, I'm so sorry for your loss.

I've had the misfortune of losing a lot of people. What I try to do is remember the good times with those people, try to honor their memories.

I know that probably is something that you've heard before.

It's alright to be angry, upset. People's reaction and feelings to loss can sometimes seem ridiculous or stupid later. But it's honest emotion, and you have to allow yourself to feel what you feel, because tamping it down or repressing it can come back to hurt you later.

I started a tradition where I light white candles once a month for the people that I've lost. It helps me, gives me something more solid to hang onto. Reminds me of their effect on my life, so I don't forget them.

[pelagic]

I'm so sorry...

Quite a few people have died in my life... I'm afraid if it does get better, it takes a long time... I don't think there is anything you can do to deal with this other than keeping yourself safe and grieving at your own pace.