Question....

[Li'lRuby]

Do some of you SI because its like a reward system? (Do you know what I mean?)
When I'm talking about SI, I'm talking about cutting and the scars that remain. That's a reward system for me, so I am just wondering if anyone has found ideas to have a "long term reward system" so to speak. Any suggestions??

[plantt]

I'm a bit confused... could you explain a bit more about what you mean & what sorts of replies you're looking for?

[Li'lRuby]

Well....cutting has a reward system going on. You have the immediate "high" and then you have the scars that remain. So I'm trying to quit cutting but not having a reward system is hard. Like, I am trying more and more to do stuff for myself but the rewards are short term (like having a nice bubble bath or something), not long term (there are no "long term" per say conseqeunces, for example scars). And something that is physically there as a reward. I don't know how to expain . I know that having a calendar reward system works for some people, you put a happy face sticker on the days in which you don't SI. Well, it works to some degree but its not like having something to have. . Think think.
Is it more clear?

[balletomane]

So are you saying you view the act of hurting yourself as a reward and the scars as a lasting reward?

Maybe you can reward yourself by exercising, so you will have your strength and stamina as a lasting reminder. Or you could make something that lasts, say a painting or a sweater.

[plantt]

ahh, ok

could you plan something "bigger" for a longer-term reward? I know several people who've used getting a tattoo for a longer-term reward.

maybe find small rewards that work for you & think through to how it could be a longer-term thing too? e.g. bubblebath for 1 day.... a new pretty nice-smelly thing of bubblebath stuff for a week... a really soft beautiful new towel & washcloth for a month... or something?

reinforcements/rewarding things are something I struggle with too.

[Li'lRuby]

Yeah.
I kind of like the idea of exercising (am doing that already) but not so sure of the idea of a tat (that would be triggering, I'm thinking).
But what I'm struggling with is having an immediate reward and a long term one (the scars).
I just wish I could find some stuff that would be immediate yet have a long term reward, espicially when it comes to struggling with urges. I don't know. I've always had a hard time rewarding myself because I find that "wasting time on myself" is yeah, wasting time . Doesn't sound so good does it?
I don't know.
Cutting is the one of the only things I find rewarding for myself. Thats the hardest thing about quitting because once I stop that, I have a diffucult time being good to myself. At least with cutting, there's a wound to take care of, and scars to rub.
Ruby

[dncn4lyfe77]

mmm have you tried picking out your favorite scent of lotion, heating it up in the microwave for a few minutes then rubbing it all over It's soooo soothing and a really nice thing to do for yourself. Only takes a few minutes too if you're worried about "wasting time on yourself".

As for a long term one, maybe if you go a certain time without SI, then you will treat yourself to something you really like. And then for each set length of time (ie 1 week, 1 month) reward yourself again?

[pelagic]

Hmmm....

Well, I have a Reward Yourself thread somewhere *pokes siggy*, but long term rewards? Hmm. I'll see if I can think of any, and although I have nothing to post to you right now, I also seem to find (sometimes) that my scars are like... something that deserves admiration, almost like a reward... So you aren't alone.

Perhaps you could list some things you enjoy, or some things that make you happy, and we could think of some long term suggestions?

[Li'lRuby]

Thanks everyone. I really appreciate this. I am sooooooooo glad I am not alone. Sometimes I feel really weird and wonder if I am the only struggling with this issue. Really glad I am not alone...
I like the idea of a nice lotion. I haven't thought of that before, but it would be nice to do that every Satarday night or something...just a little treat. I'm not really into girly type stuff like that, but that sounds good. I have just major diffuculties spending money on myself, but I do know that buying a book helps sometimes, if I enjoy the book. But I like to do something for the body, if you know what I mean. I just really don't know. I'm new to this idea of doing something for myself.

[pelagic]

Why not, with a red pen, draw on places where you usually SI? And it can be a constant reminder that is with you that says that you don't need it? Perhaps, for every few days you are SI-Free, you could draw a small thing on your arm, or wear a bracelet, or paint a nail?

Oo... get an orange piece of string/yarn/whatnot and tie it around your wrist, with a white bead for every week you are SI-Free?

[Li'lRuby]

I like that idea pelagic about the sting band thingy. I really like that idea. Thanks!

[pelagic]

Welcome ^^

I'm sure that there are many more, like wearing a different ring/another ring for every week you are SI-Free (go to a dollar store and buy a bunch of different coloured rings, have them in the same order as the colours of the busses on BUS, perhaps, the more weeks you are SI-Free the higher up your colour?). Maybe do this with bracelets, too (different coloured string around your wrist, depending on how many weeks SI-Free).

[Flying Hippo]

You could get a chocolate calander! Or a pack of chocolates and have a small chocolate every day you go without. Or you get a chain and a box of cans of something, and every time you beat an urge treat yourself to can and then take the ringpull off and put it on the chain!