Rant, rave, rage and riot *la*

tips on how to cope: dealing with your feelings, dealing with the consequences of self-harm in your life. share your ideas and maybe pick up some new skills, too. you don't have to want to stop to learn something new here.

Moderators: Spidey, noldo

Post Reply
User avatar
treasure
forum moderator - workshop & before & after
forum moderator - workshop & before & after
Posts: 11079
Joined: Wed Feb 25, 2004 8:32 pm
Gender: f
Location: Melbourne, Australia

Post by treasure » Sat Oct 20, 2007 6:14 pm

it's not fair. it's not fair that my t left. it's not fair that i can't yet talk openly to my new t, and i have 3 weeks til an exam and about 4 or 5 weeks til i have to start looking for work or doing some sort of 'catch-up' thing (for welfare payments) like disability support or volunteer work. i'm not ready to work! i'm barely able to study. it's not fair that i can't sleep properly. it's past 3am and i'm barely tired. i don't trust myself having sleep meds around but i think that is what i need :x

*tries to figure out what to write and starts crying*

it's just not fair :(
treasure
virtual hugs welcome.
shiny place or old place

User avatar
mephistopheles
cow control
cow control
Posts: 24355
Joined: Thu May 26, 2005 4:40 pm
Location: London

Post by mephistopheles » Sat Oct 20, 2007 6:18 pm

I don't fucking CARE if you have work. I NEED YOU.

Well, someone. Anyone. I will not be responsible for my actions if I don't get laid NOW. Fuck this "relationship" shit. I don't believe in boyfriends. I believe in fucking.

:x
“Where you used to be, there is a hole in the world, which I find myself constantly walking around in the daytime, and falling in at night. I miss you like hell.”

User avatar
balletomane
one of us
one of us
Posts: 13705
Joined: Fri Feb 11, 2005 3:54 am

Post by balletomane » Sat Oct 20, 2007 10:58 pm

Would it have been so hard for the two of you to send me back emails saying "no, sorry."? With friends like you guys...

User avatar
mephistopheles
cow control
cow control
Posts: 24355
Joined: Thu May 26, 2005 4:40 pm
Location: London

Post by mephistopheles » Sat Oct 20, 2007 11:31 pm

thanks guys.

i wanted ten minutes of your time and you couldn't be fucking bothered. i run myself ragged trying to help you all and make you happy. and i get shit in response. thanks.
“Where you used to be, there is a hole in the world, which I find myself constantly walking around in the daytime, and falling in at night. I miss you like hell.”

User avatar
Stellaria
beyond inspiring
beyond inspiring
Posts: 8233
Joined: Sat Dec 22, 2001 1:00 am
Gender: Female
Location: Sweden ----------- Age 60

Post by Stellaria » Sun Oct 21, 2007 10:53 pm

I'm so fucking sick of thinking about everyone's feelings.
Challenges, hugs, and just about everything welcome. :bfly:

New place: invisible words
Old place: invisible ink

User avatar
wilson
just plain inspiring
just plain inspiring
Posts: 7567
Joined: Wed Oct 18, 2006 2:06 am
Location: aussie-land Age: eighteen
Contact:

Post by wilson » Mon Oct 22, 2007 9:06 am

if i dont answer my phone once then maybe i missed it.
if i dont answer it 10 times in a day maybe i dont want to fucking talk to you.
it doenst matter how many times you try and call me i dont give a fuck.
im not going to answer.
i dont want to talk to you.
i dont care what you have to say.
so fuck off and leave me alone.
sure i said i would answer but i lied so i could fucking get out.

i dont want to takl to you.
<center>R.I.P. 23/07/89 - 05/11/01
R.I.P. 1953-2008

counting stars

im over existing in limbo
im over the myths and placebos
i dont really mind if i just fade away
</center>

twinkletears
sprouting branches
sprouting branches
Posts: 1041
Joined: Sat Jun 23, 2007 12:21 pm
Location: London

Post by twinkletears » Mon Oct 22, 2007 4:08 pm

SHUT UP ABOUT THAT
STOP IT
NO
I HATE YOU INSIDE OF ME GO AWAY
:redstar::redstar::redstar: If you could look past my tears, past the fake smile on my face, see right inside me, feel my pain maybe then you would understand.:redstar::redstar::redstar:Image
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

User avatar
Binayshee
orange smartie
orange smartie
Posts: 1719
Joined: Wed Nov 22, 2006 3:02 am

Post by Binayshee » Wed Oct 24, 2007 3:43 pm

:argggh: fuck fuck fuck

$%^#$%%%@%#$@&%&*%^*%$@$#^%&*^%&(^R&(^%$*^$&#GB$O

User avatar
Roxi
knows the ropes
knows the ropes
Posts: 4530
Joined: Sat Sep 01, 2007 9:36 am
Gender: Female

Post by Roxi » Wed Oct 24, 2007 4:23 pm

EXACTLY what Binayshee said... :x
Image


Image

We are the girls with anxiety disorders, filled appointment books, five-year plans. We take ourselves very, very seriously. We are the peacemakers, the do-gooders, the givers, the savers. We are on time, overly prepared, well read, and witty, intellectually curious, always moving… We drink coffee, a lot of it. We are on birth control, Prozac, and multivitamins… We are relentless, judgmental with ourselves, and forgiving to others. We are the daughters of the feminists who said, “You can be anything,” and we heard, “You have to be everything." - Courtney Martin.

User avatar
Arcana
forum moderator emeritus
forum moderator emeritus
Posts: 3279
Joined: Mon Sep 17, 2007 8:41 pm
Location: My body's with me, no idea where my mind's at

Post by Arcana » Fri Oct 26, 2007 2:19 am

ditto.....

plus.....

WHY THEE FUCK WON'T YOU LET ME GO BACK TO SCHOOL!??? I WAS DOING SO FUCKING WELL AND I PROMISE I WON'T FUCKING DO THIS AGAIN JUST PLEASE LET ME GO BACK! IN THE WINTER AT LEAST, LET ME COME BACK! I'LL GET BETTER FASTER! I'M HAPPIER AT SCHOOL WHY CAN'T YOU SEE THAT?

AND WHY THE FUCK DIDN'T YOU HELP ME GET LONG-TERM TREATMENT? WHEN SOMEONE TELLS YOU THAT THEY HAVE A SUICIDE PLAN, YOU SHOULD BE THERE IN THE ROOM AND FUCKING DIAL UP A THERAPIST WITH THEM, NOT E-MAIL THEM A PALTRY LITTLE LIST OF POSSIBLE THERAPISTS A FEW DAYS LATER! AND YOU WONDER WHY I SWALLOWED A FUCKING BOTTLE OF PILLS INSTEAD OF CALLING FOR HELP? JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!
"I'd rather be hated for who I am than loved for who I am not."-- Kurt Cobain

I'm not a work of art, I'm a piece of work.

User avatar
caged bird
board admin emeritus
board admin emeritus
Posts: 22909
Joined: Mon Jul 15, 2002 2:51 pm
Location: UK Age 24
Contact:

Post by caged bird » Fri Oct 26, 2007 2:41 pm

i can't believe you were so fucing dismissive of me last week, like i was causing you hassle by phoning and asking why i was still unemployed, if you'd just done your fucing job i'd be working by now, or at least know where i stood, but no you had to just leave me hanging on and now they're all in a fucking meeting - all of them i mean what the hell is that about so now i have to wait the weekend, till fucking monday do you know how far away that is

fuck you
visit my website
My Place

Being almost devastated is horrible because it lingers. But total devastation brings a kind of peace. It lets you give up.
Thieves and Kings: Volume Two by Mark Oakly

The line between normal and crazy seemed impossibly thin. A person would have to be an expert tightrope walker in order not to fall.
Running with scissors - Augusten Burroughs

User avatar
kendra
town councillor
town councillor
Posts: 1473
Joined: Fri Feb 02, 2007 9:11 am
Location: California

Post by kendra » Sat Oct 27, 2007 2:57 am

just tell me whats going on... please...

User avatar
Librariana
building community
building community
Posts: 569
Joined: Thu Aug 02, 2007 12:29 am
Location: Southern California

Post by Librariana » Sat Oct 27, 2007 3:09 am

I can't believe I've been so stupid yet again. I'm pretty worthless. I don't care anymore. Take it all away. I'm irresponsible and useless.

I want my son. I need him. Why did I make that stupid agreement????

Why bother.
Be patient. 36 years is a long time to keep a secret.

It's official! The parts have finally arrived and I am now a complete moron.

User avatar
Librariana
building community
building community
Posts: 569
Joined: Thu Aug 02, 2007 12:29 am
Location: Southern California

Post by Librariana » Sun Oct 28, 2007 8:35 pm

Why are you even here? It is obvious that you don't want to be with me. So it's some paperwork and maybe an hour in court to be rid of me. Then you could stay on the computer 24/7 without guilt. There would be no one to ignore.

Do you think that I spend an hour getting ready to go, trying desperately to look attractive for YOU, so you can can strut around for a couple of hours at a bar looking like the cock of the walk with the hottest arm candy in town? NO. I do it because I'm trying so desperately to make you SEE ME. To be with ME. To stop putting me last. I don't give a flying fuck what I look like, I spent half my life being valued for my face alone. I hate it. I want to scar it up, but I know you'd only lock me away.

You ignore me with confidence because you think you have me trapped. And the sad part is that you do. For now. But I always have the trump card. When my son's grown, I'll play my last hand and get away from you.

Bastard.
Be patient. 36 years is a long time to keep a secret.

It's official! The parts have finally arrived and I am now a complete moron.

User avatar
Beasty
troll sniper
troll sniper
Posts: 14934
Joined: Thu Mar 24, 2005 2:10 am
Contact:

Post by Beasty » Mon Oct 29, 2007 1:48 am

Fuck you!! Fuck you! Why can't guys just simply be friends with girls and have that be that?! (unless theyre already dating someone)

You just had to screw it up, didn't you? My body language was SCREAMING "don't touch me". I was leaning away, my hands very unavailable, legs crossed AWAY, I mean FUCK what else could I do aside from being blatantly rude to say I'M NOT FUCKING INTERESTED!!! Now how am I going to hang out with you without wondering if you're just ticked that I denied you? I can't fucking trust you anymore! It's not that you did anything that warrants that, but you KNOW thats the way I am.

FUCK YOU!!!!
"No boom today. Boom tomorrow. There’s always a boom tomorrow. What? Look, somebody’s got to have some damn perspective around here. Boom, sooner or later. BOOM!" - Susan Ivanova

Eisa = Beasty's Twin

Beasty's Place!

Image

User avatar
Roxi
knows the ropes
knows the ropes
Posts: 4530
Joined: Sat Sep 01, 2007 9:36 am
Gender: Female

Post by Roxi » Mon Oct 29, 2007 9:45 am

mmm, boys can be real bastard, silver...
Image


Image

We are the girls with anxiety disorders, filled appointment books, five-year plans. We take ourselves very, very seriously. We are the peacemakers, the do-gooders, the givers, the savers. We are on time, overly prepared, well read, and witty, intellectually curious, always moving… We drink coffee, a lot of it. We are on birth control, Prozac, and multivitamins… We are relentless, judgmental with ourselves, and forgiving to others. We are the daughters of the feminists who said, “You can be anything,” and we heard, “You have to be everything." - Courtney Martin.

User avatar
Callisto
postmaster
postmaster
Posts: 37888
Joined: Sun May 04, 2003 3:22 pm

Post by Callisto » Wed Oct 31, 2007 12:32 pm

why? just why?

what need was there to do that in front of a visitor simply because i asked if you'd like another cup of tea?

it wasn't an unreasonable question. so what need was there to humiliate me like that?

is that all i am to this fucking company, a tea girl, scapegoat and someone for you to humiliate to make yourself feel good.

FUCK YOU!

User avatar
bellamuerte
creating your space
creating your space
Posts: 198
Joined: Wed Jul 04, 2007 8:58 pm
Contact:

Post by bellamuerte » Wed Oct 31, 2007 8:52 pm

i love you soooo much...
..but i'm invisible to you
you don't see how much this is killing me not to be with you...

and as for YOU. you didn't show up again..if i can't trust family..who the fuck can i trust?
And I still believe that I cannot be saved.

User avatar
Beasty
troll sniper
troll sniper
Posts: 14934
Joined: Thu Mar 24, 2005 2:10 am
Contact:

Post by Beasty » Wed Oct 31, 2007 11:46 pm

Why does she always get everything I ever wanted?!?! Flipping M. Whywhywhy?




Why do you use me, L? Did you know that I was going to ask you out when I got back from NY? Yes, I was. But you came whining to be about how you were dating M but cheating on her with DJ and can I pleease please please help you out. I helped because I cared for you. Now I hate you. I lust after you sometimes, but I hate you. If it were possible, we'd have great hate-sex. But we both know that will never happen for so many reasons. You have never really and truly wanted me. Ever. I wanted you so badly. Sometimes I still feel the pangs. But no. I can't ever have you. And now...it's too late. I fucking hate you, you seductive girl.
"No boom today. Boom tomorrow. There’s always a boom tomorrow. What? Look, somebody’s got to have some damn perspective around here. Boom, sooner or later. BOOM!" - Susan Ivanova

Eisa = Beasty's Twin

Beasty's Place!

Image

User avatar
wilson
just plain inspiring
just plain inspiring
Posts: 7567
Joined: Wed Oct 18, 2006 2:06 am
Location: aussie-land Age: eighteen
Contact:

Post by wilson » Thu Nov 01, 2007 2:17 pm

you dont want me on your crew i got that.
but when you say "i dont fucking want your help just fuck off"
and i listen to it and dont help you. you cant run to a lecturer and complain cos i refuse to help you. you dint fucking want it.

now i've lost my fucking board op cos of you.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

just fuck off and dont speak to me ever. and i mean it!
<center>R.I.P. 23/07/89 - 05/11/01
R.I.P. 1953-2008

counting stars

im over existing in limbo
im over the myths and placebos
i dont really mind if i just fade away
</center>

Post Reply

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 51 guests