ive decided...

Raiku · Post by **Raiku** » Mon Oct 01, 2007 4:03 am

pelagic wrote:There are always clubs or activities you can join. For example, I have vegan cooking classes. I get to meet other people who are also interested in animal-product-free meals, and once we have a similair interest, we manage to talk about other things. Sure, we're not always agreeing on some things, but we have pleasant discussions about them, both sides interested in what the other has to say.

Just look around your community. Corkboards at coffee shops have lots of flyers on new things out there.

theres only starbucks and theyre in sores so theres no places to find info. i really wish there were.

pelagic · Post by **pelagic** » Mon Oct 01, 2007 5:53 am

I live in small suburbs, and there are lots of coffee shops. Maybe not with neon signs or in commonly-visitted places (like Starbucks), but there are lots of coffee shops!

Try community bullitin-boards. Maybe see a few local bands play... perhaps you'll meet people with the same musical interests as you!

Raiku · Post by **Raiku** » Mon Oct 01, 2007 10:20 pm

where could those be?

Licentia Poetica · Post by **Licentia Poetica** » Mon Oct 01, 2007 10:23 pm

libraries, gyms, town centres, universities..

Raiku · Post by **Raiku** » Mon Oct 01, 2007 10:42 pm

no gyms or universities

dont know where town hall is so it just leaves the library

Porcelain_Doll · Post by **Porcelain_Doll** » Tue Oct 02, 2007 1:52 am

purevolume.com has a feature where if you make an account they have a list of concerts near you. Try looking up cafe's and things online. Or perhaps just walk around a bit, it's suprising what you find in places you've been through a million times if you really look.

Raiku · Post by **Raiku** » Tue Oct 23, 2007 9:43 pm

theres none near me that are of in my intrest

all rap concerts

and besides, id look a heck of a lot better and people will actually like me

pelagic · Post by **pelagic** » Tue Oct 23, 2007 11:34 pm

Isn't it sad, how we all feel we must look a certain way for people to like us? And yet... Many people DO judge others by appearances. Our magazines, commercials, dolls, and television shows spread the "judge by appearances" message. It's horrible.

Raiku, some people may look at you kindly as they pass by, but they won't automatically like you because you look different. If you feel it's neccessary (if it boosts your self esteem and you feel good/better about yourself), then by all means get plastic surgery. But don't get disappointed if it doesn't solve all your problems, because although people seem to think so, appearances aren't that important.

However, that doesn't mean you should stop caring about your apperance. I'm going to a salon this weekend to get my hair dyed (really excited too, it'll look awesome), but not to please others, it's because I want to. I'm sure others will like it and I'll be happy they like it, but initially I'm dying my hair because I /want/ my hair dyed to please /me/.

southsider · Post by **southsider** » Wed Oct 24, 2007 12:19 am

I'm going to try really hard to not be harsh in my reply to this thread. But people are offering you all kinds of solutions on how to meet people, but you refuse every one on grounds of it not being feasible. If you're going to shoot down every possible idea as something that you just can't do, why are you asking for help/advice? There has got to be SOMETHING out there, and trying to find it is more constructive than going on about how there is no solution. Putting yourself out there is hard. It sucks to get rejected. It sucks hard. But it's worth it when things work out.

If you feel that plastic surgery is something that you want to do, for whatever reason, go ahead and do it. I assume you're a grown person and can make your own decisions. But like pelagic said, don't be surprised if it doesn't get you what you want. Plastic surgery won't change your personality, and being beautiful doesn't necessarily make people like you. (Have YOU liked all the attractive people you've ever met? I sure as hell haven't. Some of them have been real assholes!)

Personality is so much more important. I'm not "cute" or "hot", but I have no shortage of friends or sexual partners. It's cliche, but it really ISN'T what you've got, it's what you make of it.

Besides, if you're posting here and asking whether you should get plastic surgery to please other people, there seems to already be a part of you that believes that this isn't the best motivation.

Raiku · Post by **Raiku** » Wed Oct 24, 2007 1:55 am

pelagic wrote:Isn't it sad, how we all feel we must look a certain way for people to like us? And yet... Many people DO judge others by appearances. Our magazines, commercials, dolls, and television shows spread the "judge by appearances" message. It's horrible.

Raiku, some people may look at you kindly as they pass by, but they won't automatically like you because you look different. If you feel it's neccessary (if it boosts your self esteem and you feel good/better about yourself), then by all means get plastic surgery. But don't get disappointed if it doesn't solve all your problems, because although people seem to think so, appearances aren't that important.

However, that doesn't mean you should stop caring about your apperance. I'm going to a salon this weekend to get my hair dyed (really excited too, it'll look awesome), but not to please others, it's because I want to. I'm sure others will like it and I'll be happy they like it, but initially I'm dying my hair because I /want/ my hair dyed to please /me/.

yeah, but dont you have friends?

you see, thats my problem. nobody gives me a passing glance, i even tried that "time of the day" thing and no response. i think i really am a ghost

pelagic · Post by **pelagic** » Thu Oct 25, 2007 1:44 am

Whenever I feel invisible, my pets remind me otherwise. Do you have a pet/even have thirty bucks to buy a mouse cage, some sawdust, foodbowl and waterbottel, and three bucks to purchase a mouse? Small, and some people think they're meaningless, but I'm sure a pet (even an inexpensive one) will cheer you up.

Raiku · Post by **Raiku** » Thu Oct 25, 2007 4:21 am

ive got a cat, but she only stays outside

bus

ive decided...

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