"Positive" Reinfocement

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artemisillusion
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"Positive" Reinfocement

Post by artemisillusion » Sat Sep 01, 2007 4:25 am

Does anyone have any tips for dealing with "positive" reinforcement that is actually bad? I've had several people tell me this week that they can see that I'm losing weight--which would be fine except my ED is in full force at the moment and I don't need any more encouragement to keep it going when I'm trying to stop. I don't want to be rude, and I appreciate the compliments, but I need to stop.
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treasure
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Post by treasure » Sat Sep 01, 2007 7:13 am

can you say something like "i'm actually losing weight from an illness"? you don't have to mention an ed, but i guess someone might go "well you look good anyway"... but that should be unlikely cos noone wants to say being sick is good. they might pity you which also might be inhelpful... but hey :tongue: maybe it'll work for you and maybe it won't :)
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Post by plantt » Sat Sep 01, 2007 7:25 am

you could bluntly mention "yes, I'm losing weight from an eating disorder.... I'm working to be more healthy! do you have any suggestions?" or "yeah, I know.... I struggle to keep a healthy weight."

you might try considering what they mean by "you look like you're losing weight..."
are they concerned? do they think you look sick?

if they're people that you know.... you might try just telling them "it's not helpful when you tell me I'm losing weight. *smiles* " even add in what they could say instead.... or if you'd prefer them to not comment....

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Post by Quiet little Angel » Sat Sep 01, 2007 3:25 pm

i get that a lot too... and the comments about looking very skinny... normally i go wiht ''yeah, i'm really trying to not loose any more because it's really unhealthy for me'', that way you don't have to mention the ED and people will probably stop saying it in a positive way... they might start mentioning it in a worried way, but that might be helpfull in your effort to stop the ED...?
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artemisillusion
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Thank you!

Post by artemisillusion » Sun Sep 02, 2007 5:02 am

Thank you all for the good suggestions. Every time someone says something I tend to panic and freeze, like I'm being caught doing something wrong. I know everyone means it in a nice way, because honestly, I do need to lose weight, but I don't want to do it in an unhealthy way.
"She had been forced into prudence in her youth, she learned romance as she grew older."

Jane Austen, "Persuasion" Volume 1, Chapter 4

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