I'm scared

tips on how to cope: dealing with your feelings, dealing with the consequences of self-harm in your life. share your ideas and maybe pick up some new skills, too. you don't have to want to stop to learn something new here.

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layersofme
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I'm scared

Post by layersofme » Sat Aug 11, 2007 1:13 am

My family is leaving for a weekend camping trip tomorrow and my husband has asked me to stay home. I will have no car and no money and I am in a pretty deep pit of depression over my marriage right now. I haven't yet stabilized on meds yest either and two weeks ago was discharged from short-term inpatient crisis program. I'm scared.
The average human being thinks that happiness lies in stability, in tying up all the loose ends and having things under control. … But actually, happiness lies in being able to relax with our true condition, which is basically fleeting, dynamic, fluid, not in any way solid, not in any way permanent. It's transient by nature."

— Buddhist teacher Pema Chödrön

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Spidey
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Post by Spidey » Sat Aug 11, 2007 3:43 am

can you get your husband to give you some money? that's not fair for him to leave you with nothing for an entire weekend.

plan fun activities for yourself, or get some things done that you have been meaning to but haven't gotten around to.
there is, in the end, the letting go.
-marya hornbacher

spidey immer voran
(spidey ever onward)

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layersofme
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Post by layersofme » Sat Aug 11, 2007 5:13 am

I didn't mean to characterize it as though he's leaving me high and dry. There just is no money. He needs the little we have for gas to and from.
The average human being thinks that happiness lies in stability, in tying up all the loose ends and having things under control. … But actually, happiness lies in being able to relax with our true condition, which is basically fleeting, dynamic, fluid, not in any way solid, not in any way permanent. It's transient by nature."

— Buddhist teacher Pema Chödrön

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Quiet little Angel
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Post by Quiet little Angel » Sat Aug 11, 2007 8:23 am

how come you're not going with them? sounds like you'd rather not be alone...
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layersofme
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Post by layersofme » Sat Aug 11, 2007 5:46 pm

I was uninvited. It was organized by a friend of his from work and her husband and kids. He needs a break from the stress of caring for me and asked that I not go. His friends know about my hospitalization because they took our kids while he came to a family meeting with my critical care team. Our marriage is on the rocks right now and a particularly difficult marriage counseling session (our first) triggered me to check myself in. I was feeling very unsafe and tried to do the right thing.

Now this camping trip has sent me back into despair. I have been very suicidal about it. Big abandonment triggers. I'm trying to CBT my way out of it using Dr. Burns' books. I have a friend coming in a few hours to take me to a movie and another one coming to stay the night. The one staying the night was my next door neighbor in the hospital and needs a break from her own situation. She says she has some good therapy info to share from her outpatient treatment. It'll be good not to be alone with my thoughts.
The average human being thinks that happiness lies in stability, in tying up all the loose ends and having things under control. … But actually, happiness lies in being able to relax with our true condition, which is basically fleeting, dynamic, fluid, not in any way solid, not in any way permanent. It's transient by nature."

— Buddhist teacher Pema Chödrön

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Quiet little Angel
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Post by Quiet little Angel » Sat Aug 11, 2007 10:31 pm

sorry to hear that your marriage is on the rocks... hopefully it'll get better with the counselling...

having friends over sounds like a really good idea... being alone with your thoughts would probably not be a good idea... so smart plan...

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/May

:lblstar: Never underestimate the power of silence... :lblstar:
:lblstar: micro-chipped mental cyber twins taking over NewZealand... :lblstar:
:lblstar: ever reached out for someones hand only to find it wasn't there? :lblstar:
My place of happy-scared-random-thoughts dealing with motherhood and anxiety, visitors welcome

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Post by kittyfever » Sun Aug 12, 2007 12:51 am

I hope the break is good for your husband, and when he comes back he's ready to care for you again. I can't imagine how much you're hurting, but try to remember everyone needs a break. I hope your movie and "slumber party" are fun. It's good you won't be as lonely. Good luckies. :grnstar:

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