For what I'm worth...

[Masquerade]

I really don't know how to say this, or ask this but I'm going to try. Okay?

There are some feelings that I don't know how to deal with. How do I deal with feeling so worthless? How do I cope with the feelings of being unvalued and not feeling loved??
How can I learn to value, and respect myself when others had made it clear to me, weather it be from their actions, or their words...that I'm not worth anything. That I have no value..
Are there others who SI because they feel worthless? Not valued? It doesn't make any sense to me...

I want to feel like I'm worth something. Am I being unreasonable for feeling this way? Am I even worth anything?

I'm sorry if this post isn't too clear as to what I want from it...maybe just to know that others feel the same? And if others do, how do you deal with thoughs feelings?

[TheRockingHorse]

a lot of the time my SI stems from feeling worthless. it is completely reasonable and every person has the right to feel valued. to cope with feelings, i will hang out with my boyfriend, or ill just talk to a friend. when somebody is willing to hang out with me, and have fun with me, i realize that im not worthless to to other people. sometimes i feel unvalued, but there really are people that care about me. the hardest part is realizing that, and finding the people that can make you feel better about yourself

good lcuk and feel free to pm

[Licentia Poetica]

Many people self harm because they feel they are worthless. None of them are. They FEEL they are because of things that have happened or things people have said to them.

You need to separate feelings from facts. Sometimes you may *feel* worthless or someone might*tell* you you're worthless but that doesn't make it true.

Nobody is worthless. What does it mean anyway? If you're worthless because you self harm - then so is everyone else on the board, and like.. they're not. If you're worthless because you don't have a boyfriend, or a job, or good grades.. then.. there must be a zillion people in the same situation, in fact, everyone would be in one or other of those situations at some point.

Things don't make you worthless. Not having things, not being things, not being able to do things, thinking certain ways, liking things other's don't. It doesn't work that way. You have value simply because you are a human being. We ALL do. If you didn't, I wouldn't be posting here even though I hardly know you. But I am.

What specific things do you think make you worthless (apart from twats who tell you so)? What would you say to someone else who thought they were worthless because of those things?

Try to unravel your thoughts. Feelings aren't facts. You may have flaws (hey everyone does), you may be shitty at maths, you may not be creative, not be good at giving advice, or giving back rubs, or you know.. whatever. But none of those things render your worth nothing.

Keep looking for your self worth. Make lists of things you like about yourself, things you DO do well. Surround yourself with people who look for the good in you, not the bad. You'll find it

[Masquerade]

What specific things do you think make you worthless (apart from twats who tell you so)? What would you say to someone else who thought they were worthless because of those things?

Events that had happend in the past. Things people have done to hurt me. Things that are currently going on. Failing to do anything useful, or helpful. I mean, if someone came to me and said they were worthless because of the same circumstances, I would probably tell them the things you told me. But it's different when it's dealing with yourself. Ya know?

Try to unravel your thoughts. Feelings aren't facts.

I've tired that and I'm afraid it didn't work out so well.

There are many things I like about myself. And for the most part I am surrounded with peole who look for the good in me...

I think I'm just having some bad days I feel it's important to speak to my T about it, as it would be helpful...but seriously..every time I think about telling her...I get sick to my stomach.

How do you tell someone something so personal? How do you talk about something if you can't even think about it productively?
I don't know. I'll think of something..

Thanks for making me feel welcome in coping. Your reply's meant a lot.

[Licentia Poetica]

I think speaking to your T is a good idea. Could you write down the things you need to say?

You're always welcome here

[TheRockingHorse]

lincentia poetica is right. writing things down would be a great idea. then you cant forget what you were going to say, and its harder to get nervous and not say what you wanted to.

[Masquerade]

I could write it down. Actually I have. But I just don't know what is stopping me from putting it to use. It's really personal and private, and I'm kinda afraid to bring it up w/my T.

[TheRockingHorse]

i would try, because once i got out some difficult stuff with my T, i got helped a lot more. its hard, but usually worth it once you do it.

[Beasty]

This is kind of a weird suggestion but it helped me go from feeling like crap to feeling superior. Read some Nietzsche. Friedrich Nietzsche is a german philosopher and a lot of his stuff is rather interesting and he is probably the most self-absorbed human that lived. But some of it rubbed off on me, enough to make me feel important. Maybe it will do the same for oyu.