Things Left Unsaid - Version 3.0 *Language*

tips on how to cope: dealing with your feelings, dealing with the consequences of self-harm in your life. share your ideas and maybe pick up some new skills, too. you don't have to want to stop to learn something new here.

Moderators: Spidey, noldo

Locked
User avatar
Scatterbrain
bus conductor
bus conductor
Posts: 5074
Joined: Thu Sep 22, 2005 3:17 am
Location: Washington state, USA

Post by Scatterbrain » Fri May 11, 2007 2:10 pm

I'm scared. I cant do this on my own. You seem to think that I have it all under control. wtf? Thats why I came to you in the first place. I needed help, I wanted you to help me find someone to help me. Now I have to call the goddamn hospital and get lost in the fucking bureaucracy while I'm calling and trying to find the name of a T for myself. fuck you. I had this stupid, niave idea that you would help me and I wouldnt have to do this on my own anymore. Wow, I was wrong.

~Megan
"The impossible just takes a little longer."
- HCJ (1/9/25- 2/26/08 )

"That there, that's not me/I go where I please/I walk through walls/I float down the Liffey
I'm not here/This isn't happening"
- "How to Disappear Completely" Radiohead

Place: Want to live and breathe/I want to be part of the human race
PBH: Back to the basics

User avatar
Callisto
postmaster
postmaster
Posts: 37888
Joined: Sun May 04, 2003 3:22 pm

Post by Callisto » Fri May 11, 2007 2:38 pm

im not coping today

User avatar
mephistopheles
cow control
cow control
Posts: 24355
Joined: Thu May 26, 2005 4:40 pm
Location: London

Post by mephistopheles » Fri May 11, 2007 2:42 pm

i wish you were here.
i really really wish you were here.
“Where you used to be, there is a hole in the world, which I find myself constantly walking around in the daytime, and falling in at night. I miss you like hell.”

User avatar
Quiet little Angel
just plain inspiring
just plain inspiring
Posts: 7754
Joined: Wed Nov 02, 2005 2:10 pm
Location: somewhere between blue tulips and anxiety...

Post by Quiet little Angel » Fri May 11, 2007 9:49 pm

please come visit me... please... someone...
:lblstar:
/May

:lblstar: Never underestimate the power of silence... :lblstar:
:lblstar: micro-chipped mental cyber twins taking over NewZealand... :lblstar:
:lblstar: ever reached out for someones hand only to find it wasn't there? :lblstar:
My place of happy-scared-random-thoughts dealing with motherhood and anxiety, visitors welcome

User avatar
Scatterbrain
bus conductor
bus conductor
Posts: 5074
Joined: Thu Sep 22, 2005 3:17 am
Location: Washington state, USA

Post by Scatterbrain » Sat May 12, 2007 2:51 am

Thank you so much for helping me when no one else will. I'm sorry you have to see this side of me. I really am sorry. I wish you didnt have to see the paranoid, impulsive, angry, emotional, reading-into-things, and scared side of me. But then again, the fact that you are still here has to count for something. I'm sorry I flipped out again and had to call you. No matter how many times you say its ok, I will always feel bad calling you... I care about you so much, and I'm so glad that I opened up to you in August. You are all I have right now... sometimes I wish YOU were my dad...
"The impossible just takes a little longer."
- HCJ (1/9/25- 2/26/08 )

"That there, that's not me/I go where I please/I walk through walls/I float down the Liffey
I'm not here/This isn't happening"
- "How to Disappear Completely" Radiohead

Place: Want to live and breathe/I want to be part of the human race
PBH: Back to the basics

User avatar
powdahchica
growing roots
growing roots
Posts: 960
Joined: Mon Sep 06, 2004 10:53 pm

Post by powdahchica » Mon May 14, 2007 5:03 pm

I love you... and I can't believe how scary those words are. When you move I don't know what I'll do without my one person who understands. It hurts so much to realize that you don't feel the same way. I wish you could love me.
<a href="http://buslist.org/phpBB/viewtopic.php?t=121893">Love must be as much a light as it is a flame.</a>
{My Place}

Image

User avatar
Koru
town councillor
town councillor
Posts: 1434
Joined: Wed Jan 05, 2005 12:29 pm
Location: UK

Post by Koru » Tue May 15, 2007 1:16 am

I want to make everything OK for you and I can't.
What's more, I want you to turn to me, to find comfort in my arms but it's not me that you want. I know you are still in love with C, you never made any secret of that but when she wouldn't even answer the phone to you or reply to your letters I figured that I was still in with a shot of being the 'next best thing' and that would have done.
But now, when you really need someone, it's her that you have turned to and she has taken you in and comforted you in a way that I'll never be able to do.
I can't tell you how much I'm hurting now, god knows, that's the last thing you need on top of all the other guilt that's going on in your head right now. And I certainly can't tell her, I can't admit the feelings that I have for you. Still, I suspect you know and it wouldn't suprise me if she knows too.
And yet we still go on, each in our little world of pain, each trying to care for the others, never looking too deeply at ourselves. I love you, you love C, C sees me as a friend she can confide in about you and so it goes.
Even having these thoughts is so selfish, you are the one who really has reason to hurt now, I have no problems except the ones I make for myself. And yet, I do hurt, I want to tear myself apart.
I know I shouldn't, I can't cover more fresh injuries at training tomorrow and I suspect that if I don't train tommorrow I will just never go back.
Why can't I cry? if I could cry for you and me and C and what might never be for us all maybe that would help.
I wonder if I'll ever tell you what I do to myself on the bad nights, I wonder if you even realise that I have bad nights. Stupid question, you are the one who dressed me and dragged me out when I hadn't stopped crying for 2 days straight. You know about bad days. But now isn't the time. I'm not sure it ever will be.
I need to move to another level of friendship now, one where I put your happiness above all else, and accept that C can do more for you know than I can.
- Always look towards the sunshine and your shadows will fall behind you -

User avatar
TheRockingHorse
quintessential regular
quintessential regular
Posts: 2032
Joined: Sun May 06, 2007 7:28 pm

Post by TheRockingHorse » Tue May 15, 2007 1:19 am

why did you run away to his house?
why wont u tell anyone what you did with him?
did you do it with him?
what if you are pregnant?
do you care how much u made us worry?
do u care about anyone but yourself?
why do u hurt us like this?
I said to the sun, tell me about the Big Bang
The sun said, 'It hurts to become.'

Andrea Gibson

My Place
A living room wall with awkwardly placed photographs hiding fist-shaped holes

User avatar
Wall
forum moderator emeritus
forum moderator emeritus
Posts: 18928
Joined: Tue Mar 16, 2004 4:06 am
Location: Hiding
Contact:

Post by Wall » Tue May 15, 2007 4:26 am

It's been a year and a half since the move and I still wonder why you didn't care about me enough to ask. I still wonder if it's that I did something wrong or simply that you had different priorities. I still wonder if I expected too much. I know it's the whole authority figure thing, the reason why this all matters. I wish it had mattered to you and I still wonder why it didn't.

When we passed by on the highway on the way into town.....I did everything I could to ignore, forget and avoid thinking abou where I was. I hate to think of even looking at the building. It's all too much.

I can't see your name without cringing. It's a stab of recognition and of pain and I wonder whether it will ever go away.
Fearless warriors in a picket fence
Reckless abandon wrapped in common sense
Deep water faith in the shallow end
And we are caught in the middle


Somewhere in the Middle
Casting Crowns
Image

User avatar
flipflopfetish
awe-inspiring
awe-inspiring
Posts: 6119
Joined: Sat Nov 12, 2005 3:49 am
Location: People's Republic of Berzerkley
Contact:

Post by flipflopfetish » Tue May 15, 2007 7:44 am

Dear X,
I can't sleep. I just realized how guilty I am and how worried I am about you. I wish I had done things differently, and I wish I had been there for you. We aren't really as close anymore now, since I disappeared for a while. And I'm not entirely sure what, if anything, is wrong. I don't really know what to say or do. But believe me, I feel awful and I sincerely wish that things could be like they were before.

Love,
Emily

User avatar
starcatuk
sock rocker
sock rocker
Posts: 3946
Joined: Mon Mar 12, 2007 7:31 pm
Location: England

Post by starcatuk » Tue May 15, 2007 2:11 pm

it was an accident i didnt mean to do it but im glad i did because it stopped me doing something else that i knew i wanted to do.

User avatar
Spidey
board admin
board admin
Posts: 21326
Joined: Thu Jan 26, 2006 9:30 pm

Post by Spidey » Tue May 15, 2007 3:02 pm

Please, PLEASE say that to my face. Please. I beg of you. I know you won't because you're a balless wonder, but hey, I can dream, right?

Man you sure talk a good talk but walking and you just don't seem to collide.

...And in this conjecture, I wish it would have, because daaaaaaamn the looks on everyone's face when I calmly, rationally and with damn good reasoning explained why you are wrong would have been priceless. (And yes, I emphasise "calmly and rationally and with damn good reasoning" because you're too fucking hysterical to *ever* do something like this)
there is, in the end, the letting go.
-marya hornbacher

spidey immer voran
(spidey ever onward)

:cowave:

User avatar
Callisto
postmaster
postmaster
Posts: 37888
Joined: Sun May 04, 2003 3:22 pm

Post by Callisto » Tue May 15, 2007 8:13 pm

you all attack him, but yeah how can you when you only know my side of things and you don't know him at all. besides it doesn't make me love him less, because if he was all the things you imply he is why would he still be here at my side?

User avatar
Porcelain_Doll
growing roots
growing roots
Posts: 985
Joined: Mon Mar 12, 2007 11:45 pm
Location: New Hampshire

Post by Porcelain_Doll » Wed May 16, 2007 12:00 am

SU
*
*
*
*

Fuck you all. I am not okay. I am not okay. I am not okay. I want to just end it. I want to be done with it all.
Last edited by Porcelain_Doll on Wed May 16, 2007 11:01 am, edited 1 time in total.
Never to suffer would never to have been blessed.
-Edgar Allan Poe
http://buslist.org/phpBB/viewtopic.php?t=110034
Image

User avatar
marshmallowfluff
forum moderator emeritus
forum moderator emeritus
Posts: 16914
Joined: Tue Aug 16, 2005 11:52 pm
Gender: Female
Location: South Yorkshire, UK Age: 26

Post by marshmallowfluff » Wed May 16, 2007 10:59 am

im not coping today. at all. i want the dreams to stop. i want her to start doing something to help. she does absolutely nothing, and i have so s much to do today but no energy to do it. I have exams in 5 days, but can't revise for them cos im to busy doing fucking housework.
Image
"Dance like no one's watching.
Love like you'll never be hurt.
Sing like there's nobody listening.
And live like it's heaven on earth."

User avatar
mephistopheles
cow control
cow control
Posts: 24355
Joined: Thu May 26, 2005 4:40 pm
Location: London

Post by mephistopheles » Wed May 16, 2007 11:06 am

fuck you and your melodramatic bullshit.
yes i'll be there in twenty minutes but really you should deal with it yourself you fucking reject!
exams dude. i have exams. revision.
i dont need you doing this right now.
“Where you used to be, there is a hole in the world, which I find myself constantly walking around in the daytime, and falling in at night. I miss you like hell.”

User avatar
5th section
just plain inspiring
just plain inspiring
Posts: 7753
Joined: Tue Sep 19, 2006 8:06 pm
Gender: Male
Location: if rain makes Britain great then Manchester is greater
Contact:

Post by 5th section » Wed May 16, 2007 11:25 am

I don't think you'd laugh if it happened to you
...then one day I realised that the people you see in waiting rooms and car parks and on trains are really far more interesting. That they all have whole novels inside them, a fabric of scar tissues, photos and memories. They are comedies and tragedies and - more often - both at the same time.
- Anna James (1984-2007)

son of ultimate starshine / brother of Eisa & Sprink / Birdie's ornithologist / married to Mande / Chey's uncle
- my place
- my band (or more accurately, the band of which I am the bassist) some SI/SU triggers in lyrics...proceed with caution...

GOING STRAIGHT SINCE 1ST DECEMBER 2009

User avatar
Licentia Poetica
forum moderator emeritus
forum moderator emeritus
Posts: 24935
Joined: Sat Jan 25, 2003 10:06 am
Gender: Female
Location: Australia
Contact:

Post by Licentia Poetica » Wed May 16, 2007 11:26 am

Can you please just pretend to care?
:redstar: the time to tell a person you care is now :redstar: the paper crane chain of hope :redstar:

Image

If we knew each other's secrets, what comforts we should find.
John Churton Collins

User avatar
wilson
just plain inspiring
just plain inspiring
Posts: 7567
Joined: Wed Oct 18, 2006 2:06 am
Location: aussie-land Age: eighteen
Contact:

Post by wilson » Wed May 16, 2007 11:47 am

thankyou for showing me that your not a friend. just a fucking backstabber
<center>R.I.P. 23/07/89 - 05/11/01
R.I.P. 1953-2008

counting stars

im over existing in limbo
im over the myths and placebos
i dont really mind if i just fade away
</center>

User avatar
troubles undone
post laureate
post laureate
Posts: 11021
Joined: Mon May 01, 2006 2:30 pm
Location: London Age:19
Contact:

Post by troubles undone » Thu May 17, 2007 5:38 pm

do you know how much it fucking hurts to know you dont like "what ive become"?

cant you just be a little less self centered. for one fucking moment in your life, and pay attention to the people around you, and how much you are hurting them?

i dont know about anyone else, but im fed up of the comments and snide remarks when you think im out of earshot.

and your meant to be my best friend ='[
Image

"Heaven's not a place that you go when you die
It's that moment in life when you actually feel alive
So live for the moment
And take this advice, live by every word

Love is just a hoax
so forget anything that you have heard
And live for the moment now"


"VITA YOY EST VIVERE SED VALERE VITA EST."
-There is more to life than just being alive.

Locked

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 162 guests