Parents don't listen

[Silver_Kitsune]

I had no idea where to put this, but I just needed to let it out.

So, I was on the computer typing a paper with my earphones in, and so I couldn't hear anything. I thought I heard something ringing, and it wasn't my earphones. I had a phone on my desk, so the next thing I did was answer it. My stepdad was calling for my mom, and so I walked to my mom's bedroom to give her the phone.

Very soon after, my mom comes barging in my room and starts yelling at me, and I'm trying to figure out what's going on. She said it was my fault that my stepdad had a hard time getting through, but we also have a phone in my mom's bedroom, so she had to have heard it. Then she started yelling at me, blaming me for a fight they had on the phone because he couldn't get through.

And just because I didn't hear the phone and my mom was too lazy to answer the phone in her bedroom, I got my CD player, headphones, and telephone taken away for a couple weeks.

I tried explaining my side of the story, but my mom wouldn't have it. She kept telling me about how I had no rights because I'm a minor. She said that, even though I was born in the US, I don't have any freedom of speech until I'm 18. I was always told that as long as I can remember, so when it came to the amendments and rights in my history class, I couldn't even list one. I just told the teacher that I had no rights because I was a minor.

So now I'm confused. Why is my mom punishing me for her laziness, and why don't I have any rights to begin with?

I'm really upset about this right now, even though I know that I shouldn't be. I've been trying really hard to keep from SI'ing, but this whole event is just one huge trigger for me, and it's a trigger that I can't get rid of.

Basically, any advice about dealing with parents that don't listen?

[Licentia Poetica]

*nods*

I can understand. I've given up trying to explain things to my mother and try to understand her ways of thinking.

Unfortunately parents are something we all have to deal with, and they CAN be a pain sometimes.

I guess.. there's two ways to attack a problem like this, you can try to fix it, or you can try to fix how you think/feel about it.

It seems to be like you've tried to fix it by talking to your mother calmly and trying to make her see reason from your point of view. It seems like that didn't work.

So, the other option. You can try to accept that your mother is struggling herself. This is about her problems and not you. The awful things she has said to you are not right, and you didn't deserve them. If you can separate her issues and your feelings about them, you might be able to de-trigger yourself. It just sucks that you have to be without net and phone and stuff unfortunately Maybe she will cool down in a while and reconsider.

You do have freedom of speech. We are listening.

[heliotropes]

^^

What she said. I can understand why you're so confused. My advice would be just to ride things out, they will get better with time. I don't really think it had anything to do with you either. My guess would be you got caught in the middle of something between your Mum and stepdad.

I hope your situation improves soon.

[a shadow in the wind]

dont worrie 2 much about this. somtimes when people are havin a hard time they take it out on other people becasue they dont want 2 blame themselves. just remeber one thing if she says stuf like tht again.

you are not to blaim

things will get easyer when she sorts out wtever proablems she seems to be having. and in the mean time just try nt to give her any resons to take her anger out on you.

[Silver_Kitsune]

Sorry for the really late reply (I've been occupied with schoolwork lately).

Thanks for the suggestions everyone; they worked better than I thought they would!

I tried not to worry about the phone thing, and luckily I got de-triggered and after a few days, I didn't care about the phone priviledges being taken away. I guess I'm just the kind of person that worries about everything.

[heliotropes]

I'm the type of person that worries about everything too.

I'm glad the situation has improved

[Silver_Kitsune]

**WARNING: Possible SI triggers below.**

NOTE TO MODs: I'm not sure if this is really appropriate, but I decided to take a chance and post it anyway instead of starting a new thread on the same topic.

Well, my situation improved until today. Then it went all downhill again.

I had to ask my mom a question (specifically, I wanted to ask what was for dinner, but I didn't get to ask that). She started yelling at me because I was in her room. When she finally shut up, I told her politely that I had a question to ask her. Then she went way over the line. She said she would kill my cats if I didn't get out of her room that instant.

So of course, I took my cat Penny, who was just sitting there all innocent, and took her into my room.

I don't think my mom's serious about killing my pets (she's said she would numerous times before, but then said that she never would kill them).

I'm really upset that she threw a fit at me for asking a question. I'm just so angry at her right now. She'll just throw these fits like a 2 or 3 year old, and then later she yells at me for not acting my age. Of course I wouldn't act my age when she expects me to act like a 40 year old. Newsflash for her: I'm still a teenager, but I'm still expected to act like an adult.

But I'm proud because I know when I should not say something. My mom, on the other hand, just comes out and says it, no matter how rude it is.