tips on how to cope: dealing with your feelings, dealing with the consequences of self-harm in your life. share your ideas and maybe pick up some new skills, too. you don't have to want to stop to learn something new here.
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Candy
- orange smartie
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- Joined: Sat Apr 29, 2006 4:37 pm
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- Location: New York
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by Candy » Tue Apr 17, 2007 4:14 am
I am just having a real hard time getting myself to go to bed,my nerves and stress is getting to me. I already took my medicaton,it just takes time for them to start to work and to feel tired. I feel alot better to be posting here and venting how I am feeling,then do SI,so that is a positive thing. I am watching Lifetime and keeping my mind focus on what is positive then think about what bad feelings that I am feeling. I hope everyone has a great night and I will be alright. I will keep myself safe. I will be back on the bus tomorrow.
I am in a dark place like a turtle afraid to deal with the pain that I do not want to feel,but eventually I will slowly face my pain,like the turtle when he comes out of his shell.
To find yourself,think of yourself first.
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Candy
- orange smartie
- Posts: 1802
- Joined: Sat Apr 29, 2006 4:37 pm
- Gender: female
- Location: New York
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by Candy » Tue Apr 17, 2007 2:41 pm
I have been cleaning my apartment and I am almost done. I am feeling worn out and mentally,emotionally drain,I am not sure what is causing it,whether it is my boy-friend who has been in the hospital so much,or I am stressed out,please do not get me wrong I love him alot,but it is like I am taking care of him more than myself sometimes. I am going to enjoy the rest of the day and do what is best for me.I am soo tired out. I have not done any SI lately,and it has been hard for me,it has not been easy either. I have more stuff to get done around here,but I will be back on later on.taking it easy
I am in a dark place like a turtle afraid to deal with the pain that I do not want to feel,but eventually I will slowly face my pain,like the turtle when he comes out of his shell.
To find yourself,think of yourself first.
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Candy
- orange smartie
- Posts: 1802
- Joined: Sat Apr 29, 2006 4:37 pm
- Gender: female
- Location: New York
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by Candy » Wed Apr 18, 2007 11:59 pm
I had a busy day today. I went to program and had a great time,the groups helped me alot. I came home and took a nap,I was so tired out. My boy-friend is out of the hospital,and I hope he stays well,so he does not go back in. I am watching t.v.,and relaxing, I feel bad that I have not written in my journal lately,but I just have not been feeling like it. I have not done any SI and it has been hard for me,but I am proud of myself for it. Besides that I am doing alright.I learned about stress and how it affects people physically,and I have learned alot.I am hanging in there and doing the best I can. I will be back on the bus later on,promise
I am in a dark place like a turtle afraid to deal with the pain that I do not want to feel,but eventually I will slowly face my pain,like the turtle when he comes out of his shell.
To find yourself,think of yourself first.
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Candy
- orange smartie
- Posts: 1802
- Joined: Sat Apr 29, 2006 4:37 pm
- Gender: female
- Location: New York
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by Candy » Thu Apr 19, 2007 3:53 am
I am doing alright,just feeling kind of anxious right now,but I will be alright. My boy-friend just left,he got out of the hospital today,and he did not stay long,cause he needs his rest,which I do understand. I am sitting here watching t.v.,and I wrote in my journal,which was not easy for me,cause I wrote about how I was feeling and it was sooo hard for me,but I did it. I feel better afterwards,which was causing my anxiety,by writing what was bothering me. I am going to watch t.v., for awhile,take my medication and go to bed. I have program tomorrow and I know that I need to go,just do not feel like it,but I am going to push myself.I will be going to bed real soon,and I will be back on the bus sometime tomorrow,more likely in the eveing. I have not done any SI today and that is a positive thing.GOOD JOB!!!!!! I hope everyone has a great night and I will do the same.
I am in a dark place like a turtle afraid to deal with the pain that I do not want to feel,but eventually I will slowly face my pain,like the turtle when he comes out of his shell.
To find yourself,think of yourself first.
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Candy
- orange smartie
- Posts: 1802
- Joined: Sat Apr 29, 2006 4:37 pm
- Gender: female
- Location: New York
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by Candy » Fri Apr 20, 2007 1:55 am
I had a good day today. I went to program and when I came home,I went for a walk and then I took a nap. I am sitting here with my boy-friend watching t.v. Part of the day it was getting rough,cause I started to feel numb and I was trying to stay focus,cause I thought I was going to dissocation,if I spell that right.I hate it when I start feeling like that it was scary feeling for me. I am trying to find a borderline personality disorder support group online,if anyone knows any good ones,please post the e-mail address here.Thanks. I am feeling somewhat better than I did earlier. It was not easy for me to do any SI,but so far I did it,it was scary for me. I am going to watch t.v.,with my boy-friend and I will be back on later,promise.
I am in a dark place like a turtle afraid to deal with the pain that I do not want to feel,but eventually I will slowly face my pain,like the turtle when he comes out of his shell.
To find yourself,think of yourself first.
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Candy
- orange smartie
- Posts: 1802
- Joined: Sat Apr 29, 2006 4:37 pm
- Gender: female
- Location: New York
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by Candy » Fri Apr 20, 2007 4:46 am
I am doing alright. My boy-friend just left and I am getting ready for bed. I am starting to get another cold,the weather changes soo much and stress does not help me,meaning worrying about my boy-friend's health. I did not do any SI today and boy it was hard,but I got through it without slipping. I have the day off tomorrow so I am going to sleep in,which I need it.My case-manager is coming over tomorrow and there are things that I need to talk about. I am going to watch t.v.,for awhile and then go to bed and get some rest.I am hanging in there and doing the best I can. I will be back on the bus sometime tomorrow,promise.
I am in a dark place like a turtle afraid to deal with the pain that I do not want to feel,but eventually I will slowly face my pain,like the turtle when he comes out of his shell.
To find yourself,think of yourself first.
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one out of none
- bus addict
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- Joined: Wed Dec 06, 2006 11:59 pm
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by one out of none » Fri Apr 20, 2007 8:56 am
Hi Candy, just thought I'd say hi. I hope things are going ok for you. Sorry to hear about your cold, and your boyfriends health, I hope they get better for you soon. Good for you, for not SI-ing, it can be hard. Hope you got a good nights sleep too.
Take care!
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Candy
- orange smartie
- Posts: 1802
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- Gender: female
- Location: New York
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by Candy » Fri Apr 20, 2007 1:59 pm
I had a great night sleep,the colds do get to me even with the weather changing so much. I am going to take it easy to day and get some rest. My case-manager is coming over sometime this morning and after that I am going to enjy the rest of the day,it is suppose to be nice here. I did not do any SI last night,and that is hard.I am going to get some coffee and try to get motivated. I am hanging in there and doing the best I can. I will be back on the bus later on,promise
I am in a dark place like a turtle afraid to deal with the pain that I do not want to feel,but eventually I will slowly face my pain,like the turtle when he comes out of his shell.
To find yourself,think of yourself first.
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Candy
- orange smartie
- Posts: 1802
- Joined: Sat Apr 29, 2006 4:37 pm
- Gender: female
- Location: New York
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by Candy » Fri Apr 20, 2007 9:11 pm
I am doing alright,mainly just sleeping all day,cause of the cold. I have not written in my journal yet,and hopefully I will get to it tonight,depends on how I feel. I am going out to dinner with my boy-friend to get out of the apartment for awhile,it is 63 degrees here,and I got a cold,mainly due to the weather. I have not done any SI and it is not been easy for me. I am going to take it easy and take care of myself. I am hanging in there and doing the best I can. Nights are hard for me. I am going to watch t.v.,and take it easy. I will be back on the bus later on,promise
I am in a dark place like a turtle afraid to deal with the pain that I do not want to feel,but eventually I will slowly face my pain,like the turtle when he comes out of his shell.
To find yourself,think of yourself first.
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Candy
- orange smartie
- Posts: 1802
- Joined: Sat Apr 29, 2006 4:37 pm
- Gender: female
- Location: New York
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by Candy » Sat Apr 21, 2007 2:59 am
I am sitting here watching t.v.,with my boy-friend and taking it easy. I really did not get anything done today,cause of the cold that I have.I made another day without doing any SI,and it has not been easy for me either,the urges can get real strong.I have to do laundry in the morning,so I have to get up early. I am hanging in there and doing alright. I did not get anything done that I wanted to,but I have not been feeling well at all and I needed time to take care of myself. I will be going to bed after my boy-friend leaves,so I will not be back on the bus till tomorrow sometime,cause I need to get my rest and get over this cold. I hope everyone has a great night and I will do the same.taking care of myself. Be back on tomorrow
I am in a dark place like a turtle afraid to deal with the pain that I do not want to feel,but eventually I will slowly face my pain,like the turtle when he comes out of his shell.
To find yourself,think of yourself first.
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plantt
- forum moderator emeritus
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Contact:
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by plantt » Sat Apr 21, 2007 6:04 am
didn't read all that i've not caught up with... brain's not quite here atm....
just peeking in to say hi though
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Candy
- orange smartie
- Posts: 1802
- Joined: Sat Apr 29, 2006 4:37 pm
- Gender: female
- Location: New York
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by Candy » Sat Apr 21, 2007 11:14 pm
I did my laundry today and that is all I did,this cold has reallly gotten me down,feel bad cause I wanted to do things and I am not feeling up to it. I am watching t.v.,with my boy-friend and I have been sleeping most of the day.What makes me mad it is really nice outside and I am sitting here with a cold. That is life. I am feeling down right now,but I will get back into things soon,just taking care of myself.I hate not done any SI today and that is a positive thing. I hope everyone is doing pretty good. I am going to go and watch t.v.,with my boy-friend. I will be back later on,promise
that is to everyone.
I am in a dark place like a turtle afraid to deal with the pain that I do not want to feel,but eventually I will slowly face my pain,like the turtle when he comes out of his shell.
To find yourself,think of yourself first.
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one out of none
- bus addict
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- Joined: Wed Dec 06, 2006 11:59 pm
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by one out of none » Sun Apr 22, 2007 2:00 pm
Aww, sorry about the cold. Just look after yourself and you should get better soon. Not SI-ing is a positive thing, you're right, so you should feel good about that.
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Candy
- orange smartie
- Posts: 1802
- Joined: Sat Apr 29, 2006 4:37 pm
- Gender: female
- Location: New York
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by Candy » Sun Apr 22, 2007 7:09 pm
I am hanging in there,mainly taking it easy. I am starting to feel a little bit better,but not a whole alot better,this cold is getting to me.I am watching t.v.,and taking it easy. My boy-friend will be over later on. I have program tomorrow and hopefully I will be feeling somewhat better to go,I have been sick since Thursday night.I have a chest cold and my chest hurts from the coughing. I am doing alright,just feel bad that I did not get anything done this weekend. I am going to go and watch t.v.,and take it easy,I will be back on the bus later,promise
I am in a dark place like a turtle afraid to deal with the pain that I do not want to feel,but eventually I will slowly face my pain,like the turtle when he comes out of his shell.
To find yourself,think of yourself first.
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Candy
- orange smartie
- Posts: 1802
- Joined: Sat Apr 29, 2006 4:37 pm
- Gender: female
- Location: New York
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by Candy » Mon Apr 23, 2007 2:55 am
I am sitting here watching t.v.,my boy-friend just left,he went to the ER again,his legs are bothering him,he does have a regular doctor. I am trying to feel better,this cold is getting to me.I did not do any SI today and I feel good about that,did not write in my journal or anything else,cause the cold has kept me down,and not feeling well at all. I will be going to bed real soon,not sure if I am going to program tomorrow or not,depends on how I feel in the morning.I just want to feel better. I hope everyone has a great night,and I will be back on the bus sometime tomorrow. I am staying safe
I am in a dark place like a turtle afraid to deal with the pain that I do not want to feel,but eventually I will slowly face my pain,like the turtle when he comes out of his shell.
To find yourself,think of yourself first.
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Candy
- orange smartie
- Posts: 1802
- Joined: Sat Apr 29, 2006 4:37 pm
- Gender: female
- Location: New York
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by Candy » Tue Apr 24, 2007 2:11 am
I know that I have not been on all day. I did not go to program today,cause I was not feeling well with this cold. I slept most of the day and the only thing that I did was wash the floors,my boy-friend is back in the hospital for the 5th time,I did not go to see him cause of the cold that I have. I have not done any SI today and I am proud of myself. I feel alot better since I got the cold on Friday. I have not written in my jounral,cause I have not been up to it. I am going to watch t.v., till I go to bed. I am hanging in there and doing the best I can do.taking care of my self. Be back soon
I am in a dark place like a turtle afraid to deal with the pain that I do not want to feel,but eventually I will slowly face my pain,like the turtle when he comes out of his shell.
To find yourself,think of yourself first.
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oncexinxaxlifetime
- meeting the neighbors
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by oncexinxaxlifetime » Tue Apr 24, 2007 9:11 pm
Curl up with a blanket while your watchign tv, and write in your journal whilst your warm.
Sometimes noise makes you feel better :)
Hope your cold gets better soon
-Flo
Sometimes your empty, even though your dreams are all fulfilled - Gino Vanelli.
<P>
Eventually it all becomes a part of you, the pain, the loneliness, but you've got to decide what's the most important. - Brian Molko.
<P>
It's only perverse because it's unexpected. - Vivian Westwood.
<a href="
http://buslist.org/phpBB/viewtopic.php?t=111367">I hear them getting closer</a>
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Candy
- orange smartie
- Posts: 1802
- Joined: Sat Apr 29, 2006 4:37 pm
- Gender: female
- Location: New York
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by Candy » Wed Apr 25, 2007 1:24 am
I have kept myself busy today. I cleaned my apartment,and my case-manager came over and then my nurse came over. I went for a walk and then treated myself out for dinner at Wendy's. The rest of the day I have been taking it easy,still have not been up to writing in my journal,I do feel bad about that,but the cold is getting on my nerves and I do not feel like doing much of anything when I do not feel well. I do talked to my boy-friend and he is still in the hosptial,have not gone to see him,due to my cold.I had this cold since last friday,not sore thoart,or fever,just a bad cold,and a cough,but I am taking care of myself.I have not done any SI today and it has not been easy,but getting through it. I am going to go and watch t.v.,and take it easy.anyone wants to pm me,you are weclome to.just hanging in there and doing the best I can. I will be back on the bus later,pormise
I am in a dark place like a turtle afraid to deal with the pain that I do not want to feel,but eventually I will slowly face my pain,like the turtle when he comes out of his shell.
To find yourself,think of yourself first.
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Candy
- orange smartie
- Posts: 1802
- Joined: Sat Apr 29, 2006 4:37 pm
- Gender: female
- Location: New York
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by Candy » Wed Apr 25, 2007 2:53 am
I am just watching t.v.,and I will be going to bed real soon. I feel soo bad that I have not been writing in my journal and I do feel quilty for not doing so,this cold has not been helping me to get motivatied to do anything. I plan on going to program tomorrow,cause sitting around here does not help,and it is starting to get to me,then I have to see my foot doctor at 3:30pm. I already talked to my boy-friend and he is doing alright,I feel bad that I have not been up to see him,but I need to take care of myself right now.I am hanging in there and doing the best I can. I will be back on the bus sometime tomorrow,mainly in the evening. taking care of myself.
I am in a dark place like a turtle afraid to deal with the pain that I do not want to feel,but eventually I will slowly face my pain,like the turtle when he comes out of his shell.
To find yourself,think of yourself first.
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one out of none
- bus addict
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- Joined: Wed Dec 06, 2006 11:59 pm
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by one out of none » Wed Apr 25, 2007 8:11 am
Hope that program goes well for you, it will probably do you good to get out for a while. I hope that your boyfriend is doing ok too. Take care of yourself!
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