Candys Coping Thread

tips on how to cope: dealing with your feelings, dealing with the consequences of self-harm in your life. share your ideas and maybe pick up some new skills, too. you don't have to want to stop to learn something new here.

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Candy
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Candy's Coping Thread

Post by Candy » Thu Mar 29, 2007 8:14 pm

I just got home from program and I went for a walk,it felt good to get out side and walk off the anxiety and the stress that I was feeling.The groups went well and it helped me alot today,so I had a great week so far. I am off tomorrow and I do not go back to Mon. I just found out that I see the doctor at my program,next Wed,but I am not going to worry about it.There has been times that I could of slip and done SI,but I got through and I was home alone,but I still manage to fight the urges. I am going to lay down for awhile and take it easy,my boy-friend will be over later,I did not forget to write in my journal,but I will do it after he leaves tonight,just to tired right now to write in it. I will be back on the bus later on,promise,need a nap right now.l :bcatsmile:
I am in a dark place like a turtle afraid to deal with the pain that I do not want to feel,but eventually I will slowly face my pain,like the turtle when he comes out of his shell.

To find yourself,think of yourself first.

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Post by plantt » Thu Mar 29, 2007 9:29 pm

walks can be very good things :)

how's your b/f doing healthwise?

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Candy's Coping Thread

Post by Candy » Fri Mar 30, 2007 12:04 am

I just woke up from a nap,I was really tired from the walk. My boy-friend and I are stilling here watching t.v.,and relaxing. He is doing pretty good,he is on antiobitcis and steriods,if I spell that right,he has a infection which is calle Brontriis,not good with my spelling.sorry. I took my evening medication and trying to wake up,I really was tired out. Later on I will write in my journal,if we are not busy. I have been using my coping skills and taking care of myself. I am trying to increase my self-esteem,cause it has been knocked down for a long time in my past,and I do not know if there is any website that could help me with my self-esteem or how to go about getting it back up again,so much verbal abuse in my past,with past boy-friends and my mother,do not know where to start. If there is anyone who has any information on website that could help me to raisie my self-esteem,or any ideals that would help me,please post it here, I would really appricate it,sorry if my spelling is off.I am going to go watch t.v and take it easy. I will be back later on,promise :bcatsmile:
I am in a dark place like a turtle afraid to deal with the pain that I do not want to feel,but eventually I will slowly face my pain,like the turtle when he comes out of his shell.

To find yourself,think of yourself first.

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Candy's Coping Thread

Post by Candy » Fri Mar 30, 2007 2:28 am

I am sitting here watching t.v with my boy-friend and relaxing,he still does not feel well. I am hanging in there and doing the best I can. I am watching a movie on Lifetime,and it is pretty good,can not remember the name.Trying to figure out a hobby that I can do and also trying to find a way to improve my self-esteem,which I feel that I need to work on right now. I have not written in my journal or did any coloring,if it does not get to late,I will do it,just depends how tired I get.I did not do any SI today,and I am proud of myself. I am taking it one day at a time and that is all I can do for myself.Any ideals how I can improve my self-esteem,let please let me know,whether it is a website or any suggestions,please post them here. I am going to go and watch this movie,be back later on,before I go to bed :bcatsmile:
I am in a dark place like a turtle afraid to deal with the pain that I do not want to feel,but eventually I will slowly face my pain,like the turtle when he comes out of his shell.

To find yourself,think of yourself first.

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Candy's Coping Thread

Post by Candy » Fri Mar 30, 2007 4:17 am

I am sitting here watching t.v.,and I wrote in my journal,which helped me alot tonight,cause my boy-friend called me tonight when he got home saying that he was going back to the hospital again,cause he is having a hard time breathing,the problem is that he as asthma,if I spell that word right,and having pneumano,did not help,he needs to stop smoking and the doctors told him to stop,but he will not listen to anyone,not even me,and I do not want anything to happen to him,I know it is not easy to stop smoking,but if he doesn't the doctor has told him he could end up on oxyen machine,I tried talking to him,but he is not listening to me either. I love him so much and I do not want anything to happen to him,but I do not want to sit here and watch him die either. I would of gone with me,but he wanted till he got home and told me,which hurts me alot,he does not know how I feel. I am soo scared and confused about what to do. I need to use my coping skills more than ever,cause the nights are soo hard on me,being alone,and I will be coloring tomorrow and using my coping skills when the anxiety gets soo bad. I still need to work on my self-esteem,so if anyone has any suggestions or a website that will help me,please post it here. I am going to watch t.v.,for awhile and try to get some sleep,but it is not going to be easy right now. I am watching lifetime and there is a comdey on. I am going to be alright. I would go to the hopstial with him,but what else can I do for him,when he does not listen to anyone about his smoking,I love him and want to him to get well,but I also have to take care of myself right now.I am sorry if my spelling is not correct,just needed to get this out by posting then keeping it inside. I am going to go to bed real soon,and I will be back on the bus before I go to bed,promise :star:
I am in a dark place like a turtle afraid to deal with the pain that I do not want to feel,but eventually I will slowly face my pain,like the turtle when he comes out of his shell.

To find yourself,think of yourself first.

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Post by plantt » Fri Mar 30, 2007 4:22 am

it can be really tough to watch people make poor choices & then watch the consequences of those :(

hopefully your bf will stop smoking eventually :)

have you worked in your scrapbook lately?

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Candy's Coping Thread

Post by Candy » Fri Mar 30, 2007 4:58 am

I have worked in the scapebook,just need more pictures of angels,dolphins,just have not found any yet. I wrote in my journal and tomorrow I will do some coloring of flowers, I called the hosptial and they are checking him out,will not know till tomorrow if they put him back in the hospital or not. I took my medication for the night and I will be going to bed real soon,just tired out and I am doing ok. I have a busy day around here and it is my day off. I have a headache and I already took something for it.I am having a hard time improving my self-esteem and I do not know where to start,if anyone knows of any good website that has some good information on self-esteem,please let me know,thanks. I had a great day and I enjoy it alot. I am going to go to bed real soon,tired out,but I will let everyone know what happen to my boy-friend in the morning. I am hanging in there and doing the best I can. I will be back on the bus sometime tomorrow. :bcatsmile:
I am in a dark place like a turtle afraid to deal with the pain that I do not want to feel,but eventually I will slowly face my pain,like the turtle when he comes out of his shell.

To find yourself,think of yourself first.

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Candy
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Candy's Coping Thread

Post by Candy » Fri Mar 30, 2007 9:07 pm

I just woke up from a nap,I had a busy day so,far. I went to the bank to cash my check and did some work around here. I got so tired that I needed to sleep,then I met with my case-manager and we had a great talk,he helped me out alot.I did not write in my journal or did any coloring,cause I was so busy and I did not have anytime to so,I do feel bad about it,but I have all weekend to do what I want. I am watching t.v. and taking it easy,my boy-friend will be over later which will give me a chance to get somethings done,while I am waiting. I feel somewhat anxious,but I am doing everything that I can to keep myself busy and safe,I hate the feeling of anxiety,but I will be alright. I am going to go and watch t.v.,and take it easy. It has been almost over a week since I have done any SI,and I am taking it one day at a time. I will be back on the bus later on,promise :bcatsmile:
I am in a dark place like a turtle afraid to deal with the pain that I do not want to feel,but eventually I will slowly face my pain,like the turtle when he comes out of his shell.

To find yourself,think of yourself first.

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Post by angelic212 » Sat Mar 31, 2007 12:39 am

hi Candy:

i just want to let you know that im reading along.

sorry you are struggling with anxiety. i know how that is. i also struggle with anxiety and my anxiety is also pretty bad but not as bad as it used to be.

there is one thing that helps me,
actually 2 things that help me when im anxious, i take some play doh and play with it while watching a movie, i prefer disney movies or comedies. and that seems to help me always. besides coloring.

maybe you should try play doh it helps with anxiety.

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Candy's Coping Thread

Post by Candy » Sat Mar 31, 2007 12:55 am

I am sitting here watching t.v with my boy-friend, I treated myself out for dinner,I went to Wendy's ,cause I felt like I deserve it and it made me feel good to do something for myself. I have not written in my journal or did any coloring yet,cause I do not feel like myself, I do not feel like doing any SI,it is cause I did not sleep good last night and for some reason I feel like I am in daze,if I spell that right. I am doing alright,just do not like the way I feel,it could be that I am overtired. I am going to take it easy tonight and do what is best for me. I read your post about the playdo and I think it is a good ideal. I hope you are doing good.Thanks for the advice you gave me.I am going to relax and take it easy,and I will be back on the bus later on,promise :bcatsmile:
I am in a dark place like a turtle afraid to deal with the pain that I do not want to feel,but eventually I will slowly face my pain,like the turtle when he comes out of his shell.

To find yourself,think of yourself first.

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Candy
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Candy's Coping Thread

Post by Candy » Sat Mar 31, 2007 2:56 am

I am watching a good movie on Lifetime and it is a good movie,my boy-friend are watching it together,I have not written in my journal or anything tonight,just do not feel right,but I am keeping myself safe. I do not feel like doing any SI or anything,just do not feel like myself tonight. I am hanging in there and doing the best I can do. I will make sure that I take my medication tonight and take it easy. I will be back on the bus later on,promise :bcatsmile:
I am in a dark place like a turtle afraid to deal with the pain that I do not want to feel,but eventually I will slowly face my pain,like the turtle when he comes out of his shell.

To find yourself,think of yourself first.

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Candy
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Candy's Coping Thread

Post by Candy » Sat Mar 31, 2007 4:39 am

I just took my medication for the night and I will be going to bed real soon. My boy-friend just left to go home and I am really tired out. I know that I did not write in my journal tonight or did any coloring,but the way I feel tonight I can not get in the mood,I just feel so worn out,and I hope that I feel better tomorrow,this is a werid feeling.I think I am overtired or I did not get enough sleep last night,all I know is that I need to take care of myself tonight and get some rest. I did not do any SI today and I am proud of myself. I feel like I am in a off mood,it is hard to explain it,just do not feel right,but I hope when I get enough sleep I will feel better in the morning. I am sorry if I am repeating myself. I am going to go and watch t.v for awhile and I am going to go get some sleep. I will be back on the bus tomorrow sometime. taking care of myself :bcatsmile:
I am in a dark place like a turtle afraid to deal with the pain that I do not want to feel,but eventually I will slowly face my pain,like the turtle when he comes out of his shell.

To find yourself,think of yourself first.

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Post by angelic212 » Sat Mar 31, 2007 5:16 am

i hope that you get a good night sleep tonight.
sleep well .!

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Candy's Coping Thread

Post by Candy » Sat Mar 31, 2007 8:00 pm

I had a great night sleep and I have been keeping myself busy. I did took a long nap today,that I did not plan on doing,but for some reason I was tired,no still I have not written in my journal or did any coloring,and I feel bad about it,it just have been a real busy weeked for me,and when I want to write in it,I am just so tired out.I am watching a movie on lifetime and my boy-friend will not be here till 4pm. I wanted to do SI last night and the urges were gettin so strong,but I stop myself from doing it,it was not easy for me to stop,cause the anxiety was so strong,but I did stop. I am very proud of myself. I just have not been feeling like myself for the past two days and I do not know what is going on with me,I see my doctor next wed,morning,from the day treatment program that I go to,and I will let him/her know how I am feeling if it has not passed yet. It is a werid feeling that I can not explain. Has anyone ever felt this way before? I am going to take it easy and do the best I can.I can not believe my birthday is next Sun on Easter!!!! I am going to go and watch t.v.,and I will be back on the bus later on,promise :bcatsmile:
I am in a dark place like a turtle afraid to deal with the pain that I do not want to feel,but eventually I will slowly face my pain,like the turtle when he comes out of his shell.

To find yourself,think of yourself first.

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Candy
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Candy's Coping Thread

Post by Candy » Sat Mar 31, 2007 9:43 pm

I just got finish washing my floor,which helps me to stay focus,cause I felt like my thoughts were racing to fast and I could not focus on anything,and when I got this morning I felt like I was in a daze and I just could not wake up right,and it bothered me so much. I am alright now,needed to do something to help myself,and it helped me some.I am sitting here watching t.v., and relaxing. I am looking forward to moving when it happens,but I will get rid of the bad memories that have happen in here in my past,so I can make new memories in the new apartment when I do move. I am going to relax and take it easy,and I promise myself that I will write in my journal,before I go to bed. I am hanging in there and I will be back on the bus later,promise :bcatsmile:
I am in a dark place like a turtle afraid to deal with the pain that I do not want to feel,but eventually I will slowly face my pain,like the turtle when he comes out of his shell.

To find yourself,think of yourself first.

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Candy
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Candy's Coping Thread

Post by Candy » Sat Mar 31, 2007 11:25 pm

I am watching t.v. with my boy-friend and I am doing alot better than I have been doing. I talked to a friend on the phone early and she helped me alot. We are planning to go out for awhile,not sure where,cause we have not decided yet. I have not written in my journal yet,but I am going to try hard to do so,cause I have to get up early in the morning,and I have to get to bed early tonight,but I will try very hard. What I really think I need right now is to get out of the apartment and get some fresh air.It would do me some good. I know that I need to improve my coping skills,before something happens,cause I do not want my triggers or urges to get the best of me,and then I will slip with SI,so I need to get into a practice of everyday use of my coping skills. That is something that I need to work on. I am hanging in there and doing the best I can. I will be back on the bus later on,promise :bcatsmile:
I am in a dark place like a turtle afraid to deal with the pain that I do not want to feel,but eventually I will slowly face my pain,like the turtle when he comes out of his shell.

To find yourself,think of yourself first.

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Post by angelic212 » Sun Apr 01, 2007 2:19 am

just dropping bby to see how you are doing.
i hope that your weekend is going okay.

take care of yourself and stay safe

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Candy
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Candy's Coping Thread

Post by Candy » Sun Apr 01, 2007 3:33 am

I went to Walmart with my boy-friend and we had a great time,so we are sitting here watching t.v.,and after he leaves I will be going to bed,cause I have to get early,cause I have to go grocery shopping,and I rather get up early and get it done,then I can come home and take a nap,then do what I want to do. I am doing pretty good and it has been a rough night for me,the way I have been feeling,my anxiety and the stress that I have been feeling,but I am keeping myself safe and enjoy the weekend,and I hope you are too. I have not done any SI so far,and it has not been easy for me,but I am hanging in there,and doing the best I can do.I need to stay focus on what I am doing,cause there are times that my mind starts to go off somewhere else,it is either my thoughts are racing or I am dissociate,not sure if I spell that word right. It has been hard for me,for the past two days,but I will be seeing my doctor this Wed,and let him/her know how I have been feeling. Besides that I am doing ok, I am going to go and watch t.v and I promise to be back on the bus tomorrow sometime. I hope you all have a great night and I will do the samething. :bcatsmile:
I am in a dark place like a turtle afraid to deal with the pain that I do not want to feel,but eventually I will slowly face my pain,like the turtle when he comes out of his shell.

To find yourself,think of yourself first.

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Candy
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Candy's Coping Thread

Post by Candy » Sun Apr 01, 2007 2:39 pm

I had a great night sleep and I went grocery shopping this morning. I got everything done that I needed to. I am feeling better today than I did yesterday. I still have times when the urges of SI gets to bad,but I have my day planned out for me. I am going to take a nap or watch t.v. which ever comes first. When I wake up I am going to write in my journal and hopefully get some coloring done,it is a good day for it cause it is raining outside,so I am not going for a walk.It has been close to two weeks since I have done any SI,and that is pretty good. I feel right now that I need to take care of myself first,cause if I do not,who will. I am hanging in there and doing the best I can. I will be back on the bus later on,promise :bcatsmile:
I am in a dark place like a turtle afraid to deal with the pain that I do not want to feel,but eventually I will slowly face my pain,like the turtle when he comes out of his shell.

To find yourself,think of yourself first.

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Candy
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Candy's Coping Thread

Post by Candy » Sun Apr 01, 2007 7:34 pm

I just woke up from a nap,and I am watching t.v,and my boy-friend will be over around 3pm,till he gets here I am going to write in my journal, then we are going to go out for dinner later on. I am doing pretty good,just stressed out things with my boy-friend,but trying to work out our problems. I have not done any SI today,and I am feeling pretty good about that,my anxiety is just getting to me. That is why I am writing in my journal to help me.I am going to be ok,I am going to go and watch t.v and write in my journal and I will be back later before we leave,promise :bcatsmile:
I am in a dark place like a turtle afraid to deal with the pain that I do not want to feel,but eventually I will slowly face my pain,like the turtle when he comes out of his shell.

To find yourself,think of yourself first.

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