Candys Coping Thread
Candy's Coping Thread
Thanks for your nice messeges,he has ammonia, I am not sure if I spell that word right,to nervous to spell sometimes,I am not sure how long he will be in the hopstial,probably a few days,he has the phone on,and he called me,that helped me,but not the same as he is being here,but I want him to get better,but with the anxiety and being on new medication,it makes it hard. You are weclome to PM me or write to me on my regular e-mail address. I will probably take my pills and go to bed,then if I can not sleep,I will come back on.He has asthma,not sure if I spell that word right,and he smokes which is not a good thing to do together. I knew this was going to happen,cause he has been sick for awhile,but I was not ready for him to be in the hospital. I am going to relax and take my medicaton,and hopefully I will get some sleep. I will check back later,before I go to bed. I miss him so much!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am hanging in there.do not need a panic attack tonight,that is for sure. Be back in a little while to check in,before I go to bed.
I am in a dark place like a turtle afraid to deal with the pain that I do not want to feel,but eventually I will slowly face my pain,like the turtle when he comes out of his shell.
To find yourself,think of yourself first.
To find yourself,think of yourself first.
-
angelic212
- bus mechanic
- Posts: 3159
- Joined: Sun Jun 09, 2002 3:13 am
- Location: lost in the dark
- Contact:
try to stay safe as much as you can Candy.
i know you can make it through the night.
feel free to pm me or email me okay?
i hope that you manage to get some sleep tonight.
you can always come here if you cant sleep.
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i know you can make it through the night.
feel free to pm me or email me okay?
i hope that you manage to get some sleep tonight.
you can always come here if you cant sleep.
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Candy's Coping Thread
I had a real rough night last night,my anxiety is up and my mother's is getting soo verbally abusive to me and I am trying very hard not to slip with SI,but it is not easy for me,when all this is going on.Thanks for the picture that you sent me,I had to print them off small,cause otherwise they would come out to big,or I could not fit them all on. It is not going to be easy for me and my mother is not helping me at all,with her mouth. I am going to see him at 11:00 this morning,cause that is when the visiting hours start,I am soo tired of her abuse right now. I am going to keep myself busy today and try to stay calm,but it is not helping me,cause of the abuse,and the nights are soooo hard for me.Thanks for being there for me,I really need a friend right now. I took my medications,but being they are new to me,it will take time to get in my system and start working. I will be back on the bus later to check in. Just trying to hang in there and that is all I can do right now 
I am in a dark place like a turtle afraid to deal with the pain that I do not want to feel,but eventually I will slowly face my pain,like the turtle when he comes out of his shell.
To find yourself,think of yourself first.
To find yourself,think of yourself first.
Candy's Coping Thread
I just got home and I went up to see Mike at the hosptial,he is doing ok,then I went to see a friend for awhile,cause I needed to get out of the apartment for awhile,I am going to go lay down for awhile and take it easy,I know that I will be posting more at nights,cause they are the hardest time for me. I can call him at the hospital and I will be going up to see him tomorrow around 5pm,later after I get home from day treatment program. I hope everyone is doing ok,and I am having urges to do SI,but I am trying very hard to not let it get to me.It is not going to be easy,but my friends,and being on the bus helps alot. I know that I did not do anything out of my coping box today,but I have a feeling that if the nights start to get to rough for me,I will be doing something with it. I am taking it one minute at a time and that is all I can do for myself. I will be back on the bus later,I promise 
I am in a dark place like a turtle afraid to deal with the pain that I do not want to feel,but eventually I will slowly face my pain,like the turtle when he comes out of his shell.
To find yourself,think of yourself first.
To find yourself,think of yourself first.
Candy's Coping Thread
I just got home from the hosptial to see my boy-friend and he is doing ok, I was feeling anxious and I knew that I needed to get out of my apartment and I went to see him,he is doing ok. I am going to keep myself busy and hopfully do something out of my coping box,if not I will watch t.v,it depends how my anxiety gets tonight. I have day treatment program tomorrow,and he will not be there with me,but I want him to get better,cause I love him and care about him. I am going to watch t.v,cause there is a good movie on. I did not get a chance to write in my journal,but right now I need to relax,and take it easy. I will distract myself,by doing something positive for myself and take care of me,which I need to do right now.I have been taking my medications,but the Paxil takes sooo long to start working,and I know it takes 2 weeks or so,not really sure about that. I am just taking it one minute at a time,and that is all I can do. I will be back on the bus later,before I go to bed. 
I am in a dark place like a turtle afraid to deal with the pain that I do not want to feel,but eventually I will slowly face my pain,like the turtle when he comes out of his shell.
To find yourself,think of yourself first.
To find yourself,think of yourself first.
Candy's Coping Thread
I am watching t.v and I got off the phone with my boy-friend,he is going to get some sleep and I know he needs it. I will be talking to him tomorrow morning and then I am going up to see him.I took my medications for the night,and I will be going to bed real soon. I have day treatment program tomorrow,and I know that I will feel weird inside,cause he is not going to be there,but he needs to get well and that is something that I knows he needs,right now I need to take care of myself and do what is good for me and take care of myself. It has been hard not to do any SI since he has been in,but I am doing it and when the anxiety gets to me,I have to leave my apartment,and be around other people. I am hanging in there and taking it easy. I know that I have not been movitated to do any thing out of my coping box,and I do not know why, I am having a rough time doing it.I going to relax till I go to bed and I will be back on the bus tomorrow evening,cause I have program and I will be going up to see him. I am going to watch t.v for awhile and I will be back tomorrow. Hanging in there
I am in a dark place like a turtle afraid to deal with the pain that I do not want to feel,but eventually I will slowly face my pain,like the turtle when he comes out of his shell.
To find yourself,think of yourself first.
To find yourself,think of yourself first.
-
angelic212
- bus mechanic
- Posts: 3159
- Joined: Sun Jun 09, 2002 3:13 am
- Location: lost in the dark
- Contact:
hope that your day program goes okay.
i will be thinking of you
i have therapy tomorrow.
and right now im going to watch a movie.
and just relax.
i took a nap this afternoon and went to church and then just had dinner.
well i hope that you manage to get some good night sleep tonight.
i hope that your boy friend gets better soon.
i will keep him in my thoughts and prayers that he will get better soon
love ya!
i will be thinking of you
i have therapy tomorrow.
and right now im going to watch a movie.
and just relax.
i took a nap this afternoon and went to church and then just had dinner.
well i hope that you manage to get some good night sleep tonight.
i hope that your boy friend gets better soon.
i will keep him in my thoughts and prayers that he will get better soon
love ya!
Candy's Coping Thread
I am going to bed now,cause I am getting tired and thanks for the messages to my boy-friend and I will let him know what you send.Thanks again I am doing ok and I hope that I get a good night sleep as well. I got through the night without doing any SI and even though I am proud of myself,I still do not feel those positive feelings,and I hate that. I just wanted to say thanks and I will be back on the bus tomorrow evening. have a good night to everyone,and I will do the samething
I am doing ok and I hope that I get a good night sleep as well. I got through the night without doing any SI and even though I am proud of myself,I still do not feel those positive feelings,and I hate that. I just wanted to say thanks and I will be back on the bus tomorrow evening. have a good night to everyone,and I will do the samething I am in a dark place like a turtle afraid to deal with the pain that I do not want to feel,but eventually I will slowly face my pain,like the turtle when he comes out of his shell.
To find yourself,think of yourself first.
To find yourself,think of yourself first.
Candy's Coping Thread
I did not go to program today,cause I did not feel right,since my boy-friend is in the hospital,and I talk to my therapist and she understood. I will go back to program Wed, I just needed time to myself. I wrote in my journal and that helped me alot,and right now I am watching t.v.and then this afternoon,I will be going up to see him and I will take myself out for dinner. I am keeping myself and relaxing;plus I need sometime to myself. I am proud of myself that I did not do any SI,since he has been in the hosptial and it has not been easy either,but talking to my friends,being on the bus has helped alot,but alot of the work was from me,by being in control of myself and not letting the urges get to me,which is never easy. I know that I should feel proud of myself,but is very hard for me,and I hate when I can not feel that good feeling,I know it is part of my illness,which is Borderline Personality Disorder,but I do not like it. I am going to go watch t.v and get ready till I go up there to see him,which it will be around 1pm. I will be back on the bus later on. Just hanging in there.
I am in a dark place like a turtle afraid to deal with the pain that I do not want to feel,but eventually I will slowly face my pain,like the turtle when he comes out of his shell.
To find yourself,think of yourself first.
To find yourself,think of yourself first.
Candy's Coping Thread
I wrote in my journal today and then I went to see my boy-friend at the hospital and then I went out to eat at Wendy's. I had a great dayhe is doing pretty good,he does not know when he is going home. I have been doing pretty good without doing SI,and I want to keep it that way,I am just feeling anxious tonight and I do not like that feeling,cause it is starting to get to me,and that is why I came on the bus tonight,so I do not SI. I took my medication late,cause I took a nap. I hate this feeling and it is making hard for me to relax. I just need to know that I am going to be ok,cause the feeling is getting to me,meaning the anxiety,and I am going to try very hard not to SI,and I will do everything I can so I do not. I talked to him earlier on the phone,but it is not the same as him being here,and that is making it rough right now,he does not know when he is coming home,and that does not help him or me.That is why I need to have support right now,cause I know he is getting the best care and I am trying to take care of myself. I am going to do the best I can tonight to keep myself busy and if I have to keep coming back on the bus,I will. I am going to watch t.v for awhile and relax.If I have trouble later,I will do something out of my coping box and come back here,which I will anyway. I am going to take it one minute at a time and take deep breathes. I am going to relax for awhile and not let the anxiety turn in to a bad attack,I am not going to think of it at all. I will be back on the bus later,that is a promise.
I am in a dark place like a turtle afraid to deal with the pain that I do not want to feel,but eventually I will slowly face my pain,like the turtle when he comes out of his shell.
To find yourself,think of yourself first.
To find yourself,think of yourself first.
Candy's Coping Thread
I just took my medication for the night and I getting tired. I talked to my boy-friend and he is doing ok,do not know when he will be out of the hosptial. I feel alot calmer than I did,that is what I get for taking my medication late. I am going to watch t.v for awhile and then go to bed. I hope everyone has a great night and I will do the same. I have cleaning to do around here,and then my nurse is coming over to do my medications,and my case-manager is coming over. I will go see my boy-friend later in the eveing after my case-manager leaves. I am glad that I can talk to him on the phone,that helps alot,but I still miss him. I will be back on the bus tomorrow sometime. I am just tired right now. I am hanging in there and doing the best I can do. Have a great night,I plan on it.
I am in a dark place like a turtle afraid to deal with the pain that I do not want to feel,but eventually I will slowly face my pain,like the turtle when he comes out of his shell.
To find yourself,think of yourself first.
To find yourself,think of yourself first.
Candy's Coping Thread
I just woke up and I am starting to clean my apartment,and then I have alot of other things to do as well,so I have a busy day. I went to bed early last night last and I slept good. I am doing ok and I have not done any SI and that is good thing,just can not wait till he gets home,just want him to get well first,it just feels like a long time. I am going to get through this day no matter what,it is harder at night for me,that is when the urges get so bad,but I got so tired and I went to bed early,boy I slept very well. I am going to go clean my house and get things done around here,but I will be back later on,that is a promise.
I am in a dark place like a turtle afraid to deal with the pain that I do not want to feel,but eventually I will slowly face my pain,like the turtle when he comes out of his shell.
To find yourself,think of yourself first.
To find yourself,think of yourself first.
Candy's Coping Thread
I am had a good day today,and I met with my nurse and case-manager,and that when great,I have not gone up to see my-boy-friend yet and we are both hoping that he will be out tomorrow. I am feeling anxious right now,and my mind starts to race,when I feel overwhelm and it starting to bother me. I wrote in my journal yesterday,but I did not do it today,I just can not seem to focus on anything,and I hope this anxiety goes down tonight,cause it i starting to bother me,I have things to do when I get home from the hospital to keep me busy and it is sooo hard on me right now. I will be back on the bus when later on. I have to take my medicaton before I leave and hopefully that will help me. I hate feeling like this,and not knowing when I am going to move,is not helping me either. The sun is out and I heard it is nice out,and I think that when I get in the fresh air,that it will help me alot. I am taking it one day at a time and that is all I can do. I will be back later on,that is a promise.
I am in a dark place like a turtle afraid to deal with the pain that I do not want to feel,but eventually I will slowly face my pain,like the turtle when he comes out of his shell.
To find yourself,think of yourself first.
To find yourself,think of yourself first.
Candy's Coping Thread
I went to see my boy-friend tonight and he is doing pretty good,hopefully he will be out tomorrow,just have to wait and see what happens.My anxiety was up before I left,but I am starting to feel calmer now,it is hard at night for me,but I am managing to get through it. I am playing checkers right now,but I am losing. I already took my medication for the night and hopefully I will get to bed real soon. The problem is that I have program tomorrow,but in ways I feel guilty for going on,cause he is still in the hospital,I know that I should not feel that way,but I do. I know that if I was in the hosptial,I would want him to go to program,I just hate feeling guilty,I have to decide what I am going to do for myself,and what is best for me. I am not mad at him,I know that he is lonely and he wants company,but there is chance that he will be home tomorrow. I need to think about it for awhile and make my own decision.I am doing ok,and I will be going to bed real soon,just watching t.v.and relaxing.I will be back on the bus sometimes tomorrow,probably in the evening time,and I will let everyone know what is going on with me.I have not done any SI so far and that is a good thing and I will get a good night sleep as well. I hope everyone has a great night and I will be ok,if I feel the need to post due to my anxiety or having troube sleeping,I will be back,if not I will back tomorrow. I am taking it one day at a time.I will be alright.
I am in a dark place like a turtle afraid to deal with the pain that I do not want to feel,but eventually I will slowly face my pain,like the turtle when he comes out of his shell.
To find yourself,think of yourself first.
To find yourself,think of yourself first.
Candy's Coping Thread
I was suppose to go to program today,but I could not get myself motivatied to go in and I know it is not helping me one minute by staying home. I talked to my therapist and she wants me to be there tomorrow,even though my boy-friend is in the hospital still,hopefull he will be home today,not sure yet,I need to take care of myself as well. I woke up this morning and I just could not get myself to do anything. Just stressed out. I will make sure that I go in tomorrow,feel bad if I go in or stay in,worry about my boy-friend,but I also need to take care of mental health as well. I am hanging in there and watching t.v. I will make sure that I do something that is positive for myself and keep myself busy,do not want to get myself into a depression state either,I have things to do that will keep myself busy and focus on the positive things as well. I am going to do the best I can,and if I need to come back and keep posting,I will do that. Just hanging in there. I will write in my journal as well. I will be back later on.
I am in a dark place like a turtle afraid to deal with the pain that I do not want to feel,but eventually I will slowly face my pain,like the turtle when he comes out of his shell.
To find yourself,think of yourself first.
To find yourself,think of yourself first.
Candy's Coping Thread
I am doing better now,I went and saw my boy-friend at the hosptial and I am hoping that he will be out tomorrow,but I have to go back to program and later I will spend time with him alone. It is hard in the hospital,but he is doing pretty good. I am doing good and I am sitting here watching t.v right now and when I get off that is what I am going to do,did not get a chance to write in my journal,but I have been stressed out and could not get myself to do anything but sleep. My anxiety is not that bad tonight,but I am using my coping skills and taking care of myself right now. I am going to watch t.v and I will be back later on. Hanging in there.
I am in a dark place like a turtle afraid to deal with the pain that I do not want to feel,but eventually I will slowly face my pain,like the turtle when he comes out of his shell.
To find yourself,think of yourself first.
To find yourself,think of yourself first.
Candy's Coping Thread
I took my medication for the night and I am going to bed,I am doing ok and just feeling down cause I miss him,but hopefully he will be home from the hospital tomorrow,but I have to go to program. I will call him from there.I will be going to bed real soon,cause I am getting tired and my throat,if I spell that right,is sore,so I hope that I am not coming down with something. I am doing alright and I have not done any SI,which is not been easy with me. I just want to say that I will be back on the bus tomorrow evening and I am going to get a good night sleep. Hanging in there and taking it one day at a time. Be back tomorrow.
I am in a dark place like a turtle afraid to deal with the pain that I do not want to feel,but eventually I will slowly face my pain,like the turtle when he comes out of his shell.
To find yourself,think of yourself first.
To find yourself,think of yourself first.
Candy's Coping Thread
I went into program today,and had a great time. My boy-friend is home from the hospital and he is here with me and we are spending time today. I slept good last night and I am doing ok,and so is he. We are watching t.v and talking. I have not written in my journal lately and I have to push myself to do so,and stop talking about,but sometimes,I can get motivated to do,but eventually I will. I am doin alot better than I have been,even though the urges are still there,and finding out that my mother can be a trigger with her verbal abuse,I love her and hate her.When I got home from program today,I took a nap,cause I was tired and he came over to visit me. I am glad that he is feeling better. I am taking my medication and using my coping skills,but I need to work harder on them. I am going to spend time with him and I will back on the bus later on. Hanging in there. Be back soon
I am in a dark place like a turtle afraid to deal with the pain that I do not want to feel,but eventually I will slowly face my pain,like the turtle when he comes out of his shell.
To find yourself,think of yourself first.
To find yourself,think of yourself first.
-
angelic212
- bus mechanic
- Posts: 3159
- Joined: Sun Jun 09, 2002 3:13 am
- Location: lost in the dark
- Contact:
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