Secrets(inspired by PostSecret)-Please Stay Safe!

tips on how to cope: dealing with your feelings, dealing with the consequences of self-harm in your life. share your ideas and maybe pick up some new skills, too. you don't have to want to stop to learn something new here.

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red umbrellas
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Post by red umbrellas » Mon Feb 26, 2007 11:06 am

i'm scared that my problem is real.
but equally scared that it's not bad enough to be 'real'.
and i don't even know how to make sense of this myself anymore
It's all life and fire and lunacy
And excuses and excuses and excuses

Hold On To Yourself - Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds

"We paint a picture of a scenario - and then we become afraid of it" - Andrea Fella

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acdcrocker1909
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Post by acdcrocker1909 » Tue Feb 27, 2007 3:17 am

i'm scared i am a fake.

i'm scared that without my band director around to keep me in line.. that i'll fall back to where i was.

i'm scared of myself at times..


:bluestar:
It does not do to dwell on dreams, and forget to live - APWBD.


Music is life.. we each have our own symphony.. and we control it for the most part.. sometimes instruments drop out.. and others join in.. but when the music fades and the symphony is done.. then we have created a beautiful, personal piece. - Me.

Less Traveled Roads <-- Everyone Welcome.

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Silent_Tears
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Post by Silent_Tears » Tue Feb 27, 2007 4:54 am

i'm terrified to write this, but more terrified to leave it in my head. i worry that i'm physically/emotionally abusing my son, and i have to tell my t. tomorrow. i'm so scared about the outcome. i'm so upset about what i've become. i'm so worried about my son and how he is developing. i want him to be more normal. i don't want him to have to deal with the shit i have had to. i don't want to be like my mom and dad. i'm worse than they are. i've picked up both their bad habits. i yell like my mom and hit like my dad. it's not good. it's so scary. i don't want to be this way, but i don't know how to stop it. i shouldn't have kids. i am not in control enough. he's past that "cute little kid" stage and has turned into a back-talking pest of a child (like all kids his age). i've never left any "marks" on him, but who knows the emotional scars that i'm leaving. i don't want him to hate me, i don't want him to hate himself. i don't want him to be scared of me. i don't want him to be scared to feel. i'm so terrified. i'm backing off from the emotion and dissociating. maybe i should write specifics down for my t. so i wouldn't have to tell her. but, then she would have written proof. i would not be able to backtrack and say she "misunderstood" me. i would be damned for sure. i guess better to be damned then to have my son damned. i'd rather be deemed a fuck up now and save him some agony. and who knows, i could be the same way with my daughter when she grows older. i have to stop this now. i have to stop it before it gets bad. i have to be brave. i have to tell my t.

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acdcrocker1909
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Post by acdcrocker1909 » Wed Feb 28, 2007 3:06 am

that once sentence took me forever to type.. and i'm afraid to death of the reaction to that one little sentence.. that seriously took me almost 10 minutes to type and send..
It does not do to dwell on dreams, and forget to live - APWBD.


Music is life.. we each have our own symphony.. and we control it for the most part.. sometimes instruments drop out.. and others join in.. but when the music fades and the symphony is done.. then we have created a beautiful, personal piece. - Me.

Less Traveled Roads <-- Everyone Welcome.

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Scatterbrain
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Post by Scatterbrain » Thu Mar 01, 2007 2:41 am

Do you really believe I am just tired? Do you think I enjoy being isolated? Wake up. Its called depression... but it cant be that big of a deal, right. Nothing ever is to you...

~Megan
"The impossible just takes a little longer."
- HCJ (1/9/25- 2/26/08 )

"That there, that's not me/I go where I please/I walk through walls/I float down the Liffey
I'm not here/This isn't happening"
- "How to Disappear Completely" Radiohead

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mithz
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Post by mithz » Thu Mar 01, 2007 11:41 pm

I might need to break a promise I made some years ago.

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Skyeler
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Post by Skyeler » Fri Mar 02, 2007 4:57 am

I think we both know what it is, but we're both afraid to talk about it.

But just so you know, I think we can do it.


Most of the time I feel like I don't belong.
But I got my new favorite record today.
My favorites change every single day.
Except you,
You'll always be number one.
[/center]

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HiddenByLies
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Post by HiddenByLies » Fri Mar 02, 2007 5:36 am

pm's welcomed



you made me promise to stop self injuring, and that's great. but you don't understand that it's not that easy. i want to stop, and i'm working on it. but just because you've not done it for 3 months, and only have done it a few times in total, does not mean that it is that easy for me too. you already beat me at everything, you don't have to rub this in my face too.
the worlds her stage the people her crew
she looks so happy to me and you
but inside her body are secrets and lies
they're all her own that she hides behind
Image
her radiant mask her wonderful grace
but inside she's wondering why she's stuck in this place
but into her being she'll fall and remain
until someone frees her it's all just the same
:star: :ylwstar: :grystar: :ylwstar: :star:
Maurice --> :moove: <-- Bylies
|-MY PLACE-|
|-my poetry-|

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last_day
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Post by last_day » Fri Mar 02, 2007 7:17 am

I really, really have to find my dad. Just to know his name.

I'm shy! I'm sure everyone knows it by know, but it's a secret I'm keeping from myself. And the most important part: it's ok. I just have to convince myself.
The lightning and the thunder
They go and they come
But the stars and the stillness
Are always at home.

<a href="http://www.fastweb.com/ib/aff-1f/6NP98A4H90UNCJF" title="FastWeb: Scholarships, Financial Aid and Colleges" target="blank"><img></a>

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MusicalMorphine
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Post by MusicalMorphine » Fri Mar 02, 2007 5:16 pm

I have so many cuts on my body it's starting to freak me out a little.

I'm going to try not to cut for 5 days.

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Lynds
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Post by Lynds » Fri Mar 02, 2007 9:14 pm

I'm worried that when our mortgage comes through I'll start acting like it's MY house not OURS...all because it'll just be my name not his on the deeds...That scares me. What if it pushes us apart?
"She would never know, because he would never tell her. Somehow if she’d known the worst parts, she couldn’t have gone on being a haven for him… He needed her ignorance to hide in. Yet at the same time, he wanted to know and be known as deeply as possible. And the two desires were irreconcilable"
From Regeneration by Pat Barker

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pebbles202
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what if

Post by pebbles202 » Sat Mar 03, 2007 8:27 am

what if my parents never call me back? I can't give into them again, then it will just be harder next time I dissagree. I cry because its been 3 weeks since i've talked to anyone in my family- but I cant be the one to call them back, they can't have the satisfaction of them being right again. (even though they are often time irrational)
I just cant







*PM
Every action has a reaction and everything has a purpose.

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piglet
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Post by piglet » Sat Mar 03, 2007 8:52 pm

I made mine as postsecret postcards...I hope that's ok.

*pm's ok, but Im sure they aren't that interesting!*

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"It is joy to be hidden, but disaster not to be found" (Winnicott)

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Licentia Poetica
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Post by Licentia Poetica » Sun Mar 04, 2007 10:54 am

Image
:redstar: the time to tell a person you care is now :redstar: the paper crane chain of hope :redstar:

Image

If we knew each other's secrets, what comforts we should find.
John Churton Collins

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wilson
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Post by wilson » Sun Mar 04, 2007 2:29 pm

PM's Welcome.

i cant 'recover' because i dont want to. i dont want to lose you. it should of been me, not you. its my fault your dead. fuck
<center>R.I.P. 23/07/89 - 05/11/01
R.I.P. 1953-2008

counting stars

im over existing in limbo
im over the myths and placebos
i dont really mind if i just fade away
</center>

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Lynds
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Post by Lynds » Sun Mar 04, 2007 3:31 pm

When I was younger, I used to be scared to go to bed. Sometimes because of nightmares but mostly because I didn't want to be left alone when everyone else was asleep. Now I'm grown up I still get scared...more often than not.
"She would never know, because he would never tell her. Somehow if she’d known the worst parts, she couldn’t have gone on being a haven for him… He needed her ignorance to hide in. Yet at the same time, he wanted to know and be known as deeply as possible. And the two desires were irreconcilable"
From Regeneration by Pat Barker

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black_23
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Post by black_23 » Sun Mar 04, 2007 9:13 pm

I blame myself for the miscarriage at times I could imagine you grown up, but now shes gone and I miss her wish I could still see her sometimes.
I know its my fault your so down and I wish I could be there to support you more, but im scared of coming back, one wkend there and all I wanted to do was cut.
I feel invisible.
'Art washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life' Picasso

'IS THERE NO WAY OUT OF THE MIND?' Sylvia Plath


My Poetry
http://buslist.org/phpBB/viewtopic.php?t=97459

My Place
http://buslist.org/phpBB/viewtopic.php?t=97307

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Quiet little Angel
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Post by Quiet little Angel » Tue Mar 06, 2007 9:28 pm

please will someone go with me abroad... i feel betrayed and let down... i want to travel... please go with me... anyone?
Last edited by Quiet little Angel on Wed Mar 14, 2007 10:46 pm, edited 1 time in total.
/May

:lblstar: Never underestimate the power of silence... :lblstar:
:lblstar: micro-chipped mental cyber twins taking over NewZealand... :lblstar:
:lblstar: ever reached out for someones hand only to find it wasn't there? :lblstar:
My place of happy-scared-random-thoughts dealing with motherhood and anxiety, visitors welcome

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Lynds
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Post by Lynds » Sat Mar 10, 2007 9:45 pm

When one of my best friends told me he was getting back together with an ex...I felt jealous even though I'm in a long term relationship with someone I love. Now I feel a bit bitter and incredible guilty...and I can't tell anyone. BOLLOCKS!
"She would never know, because he would never tell her. Somehow if she’d known the worst parts, she couldn’t have gone on being a haven for him… He needed her ignorance to hide in. Yet at the same time, he wanted to know and be known as deeply as possible. And the two desires were irreconcilable"
From Regeneration by Pat Barker

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Licentia Poetica
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Post by Licentia Poetica » Sun Mar 11, 2007 12:57 am

Are you just going to be something else I'm going to have to get over?

'Cause I'll tell you right now, I'm not up to it.
:redstar: the time to tell a person you care is now :redstar: the paper crane chain of hope :redstar:

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If we knew each other's secrets, what comforts we should find.
John Churton Collins

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