New wishing thread! ~ advice to the person above you.

tips on how to cope: dealing with your feelings, dealing with the consequences of self-harm in your life. share your ideas and maybe pick up some new skills, too. you don't have to want to stop to learn something new here.

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Post by Spidey » Fri Nov 24, 2006 8:02 pm

I wish I knew how to diet and exercise properly. I'm thinking about joining Curves and/or taking their 6-week mini-class on nutrition and food, but I'm really, really scared X_x

I wish I knew how to make all the self-destructive tendencies self-promoting tendencies X_x
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Post by magicmum » Sat Nov 25, 2006 1:31 am

Joining a group is a really good plan and even though it's a bit scary you will be so glad you did. I was totally fed up with myself last year and I joined a gym - I don't belong anymore cos when I was there I learned Pilates and I love it and it's so right for me. You will get so much more than you expect - good luck.

Try to reverse the destructive thoughts - look at the other side of each and go with the positive.

I wish I didn't invest so much hope and so much of myself into my children, and others, cos when it doesn't work out, the pain is too hard to bear. :(

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Post by Licentia Poetica » Sat Dec 02, 2006 2:17 pm

I wanted to reply to this a while ago Keitha.

I don't believe for a second you wish that. I believe you wish it didn't hurt so much at times. But I know that you invest your care & hope into your children because you love them so, so much, even though it probably doesn't feel like it means much sometimes.

I think you need a break sometimes. Focus on you sometimes. Realise that they have their own choices & sometimes you cannot have a say in every aspect of their lives. I can imagine that can be scary.

:star:

I wish my actions during the times I feel bad didn't affect the times I don't feel so bad.

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Post by ghellie » Wed Dec 06, 2006 2:45 pm

that's a tough one. i guess i would say to myself in that situation, dont let it affect you during the good times. forget it, wahtever it is, ignore it, deny it, dont look at it, and enjoy the good. then you have something to look back on when things are bad and it makes the good all the more sweeter. dont let the bad control you, your actions, your life.

***

i hate being complimented. it makes me very uncomfortable. they would not say such things if they really knew how awful i was. however i know that they are right, there is nothing that awful about me. i know this, but i can't bring myself to beleive it. i wish i could let myself believe it.

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Post by susanM » Wed Dec 06, 2006 4:48 pm

*jumps into this*

Maybe just take the compliment and say thank you and don't worry if you don't believe it at the moment. The more you hear compliments and take them and just let them sit there instead of trying to deny them or bat them back to the person that's given them, maybe eventually they will begin to sink in. For the moment, just say thank you and let it sit with you.

I wish I didn't avoid difficult situations so much. I'm a lot better than I used to be but I still avoid uncomfortable situations if I can and it has repercussions because in the end it still has to be faced.

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Post by angelic212 » Wed Dec 06, 2006 6:00 pm

i wish i was dead!
:cry:

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Post by Spidey » Wed Dec 06, 2006 11:04 pm

don't wish that. there;s a zillion things that make life worth living.

--

i wish that someone would employ me. but alas, no. hahaha.
there is, in the end, the letting go.
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Post by angelic212 » Thu Dec 07, 2006 7:06 am

sorry for the negativity!


i wish that for xmas i get the gifts that i want
an ipod video and a digital camera,
crossing fingers and hoping that i will get them

i also wish that i would recover from my eating disorder i hate struggling with my eating disorder

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Post by purplefroggydishwasher » Thu Dec 14, 2006 4:47 am

susan m

is there a difficult situation you are facing right now? a smaller one that you still avoid? take it by the proverbials and get it done. do the little things to get the confidence to deal with the big things.

pink spider

make yourself employable! find the jobs you would like, and work out what an employer would look for. see if you can meet these things. eg, want to work aged care? volunteer at your local home for a bit. you get some experience, and they will like the fact you know how things work.

angelic212

take it one day at a time mate! do your best for today and try something harder/ different tomorow. an ed is a bloody curse that is hard to escape. just keep on trying.

and i'll put in a good word with santa. depending where you are in the world, he will visit me first and i'll have a chat :) :P :roll: i hope you get an ipod. theyre the ... stuff...

-------

i wish i did not want to hurt myself every time i supposedly upset another, embaras myself or make someone else uncomfortable.
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Post by WorkDaySarcasm » Mon Dec 18, 2006 1:45 am

:blkstar: ask yourself exactly what you did to deserve you hurting yourself and think of thr both the pros and cons of hurting yourself, usuallly the cons out weigh the pros and you can get the saticfaction that you have thought it through logiclly.

:blkstar: if you cant bear thinking about it properly because you fear your negaitivtiy might get the better if you or somthing try to distract your self with something, anything you want to get over the feeling.

:blkstar: if you still feel the need to hurt yourself, do something that wont damage you as such like flicking yourself or pinging yourself with a rubber band.

hope that helps a bit
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Post by Anactoria » Mon Dec 18, 2006 1:50 am

I wish I wasn't so anxious about not getting into college. I got one rejection letter and now I'm scared that I'm going to get rejected everywhere.... it has killed my self confidence.

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Post by WorkDaySarcasm » Mon Dec 18, 2006 1:57 am

(sorry i forgot to put it in my first post)

i wish i could make up my mind, i want to go hospital to get better and change the way i look at my self...but then i have moments where i would rather die (however rash that is) instead of going to hospital and gaing weight. i feel i will never be thin enough but im so indecisive about what to do next and everything is moving so fast i can't cope with it and want to stop everything...




...help please someone
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Post by oneWayOneLifeOneLove » Mon Dec 18, 2006 4:14 am

I wish I wasn't so anxious about not getting into college. I got one rejection letter and now I'm scared that I'm going to get rejected everywhere.... it has killed my self confidence.
Everything will be ok and im sure u'll get into a college.

i wish i could make up my mind, i want to go hospital to get better and change the way i look at my self...but then i have moments where i would rather die (however rash that is) instead of going to hospital and gaing weight. i feel i will never be thin enough but im so indecisive about what to do next and everything is moving so fast i can't cope with it and want to stop everything...
I think if u want to go to the hospital and get better than perhaps u should bc then it will help you not have the times when u feel like everythings hopeless and u just want to die.

I wish that i was a smater person and could actual write. And i also wish that i could help ppl more it makes me so sad when i cnt help someone else when they come to me for help.
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statistice dnt help you with your future
they only tell u were youve been

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Post by purplefroggydishwasher » Thu Dec 21, 2006 10:59 am

I wish that i was a smater person and could actual write. And i also wish that i could help ppl more it makes me so sad when i cnt help someone else when they come to me for help.
only time shal tell... thing i dnot like about when people say they are not smart, they miss that there aer other ways to be smart. you might not know the capital of woop woop, or how to differentiate, but you might know how to make a killer chocky cake or something. there are all different kinds of smarts. but if yu want to be more 'book smart' then get reading! i find wikipedia brillinat there. just look something up and link hop. one day i started reading up about veganisim and ended up on a page about capital punishment. its got so manty interesting tidbits. and writing... practice makes perfect!

i have learnt after a few years, that 'helping people' can happen in so many ways. some people might want some advice, sometimes they look for a distration, or just an ear to listen. help the way you would like to be helped yourself. and if you can't help them yourself, i bet you know someone/something that could. and were not saints, we cant help everyone.

if that makes any sense.

***

i wish i could make people understand about my temper. i know it is awful. if i take myself away it is not becasue you did something wrong, it is becasue i love you and do not want to hurt you. how can i make them understand that just being alone for a while ithout being lecutered or been given advice is the best thing when i'm about to chuck a wobbily?
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Post by Spidey » Thu Dec 21, 2006 6:31 pm

perhaps at a time of non-temper, you sit down and explain to people what exacctly you want them to do when you are feeling angry / upset? the DEAR model for anger might work, too. (at least i think it's the dear model...)

have you looked into some anger management classes? (trust me, they help)

--

i wish i could talk to someone :-? and not feel like i'm burdening them.
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Post by Licentia Poetica » Fri Dec 22, 2006 6:20 am

Why exactly do you think you are a burden? Sure.. some things you're going through are tough. But the same goes for the rest of us, or *any*one really. Sometimes listening to someone isn't a burden at all.

I find that a lot. I like reading about people & what's happening in their lives, even if it isn't always positive. I do sometimes feel stumped for what to say in reply though.

My pm box is *always* open k?

:star:

There are things I'd like to do, to get achieved.. even just things for myself. I think if I did those things it would help me feel better.

But it comes to doing them and I just don't have the energy.

I seem to be stuck in a viscious cycle. & I had all these plans for the uni holidays and I seem to be wasting the time depressed. Which feels like my own fault :(
:redstar: the time to tell a person you care is now :redstar: the paper crane chain of hope :redstar:

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Post by purplefroggydishwasher » Sat Dec 23, 2006 2:11 pm

hey lp!

is it that there are so many thigns, goals you want to do that it is just overwhelming? or mabey you just don't feel they are important enough? *tries to think*

what i would do is choose just one. say i wanted to make my overalls for guide camps *looks sheepish* i would say, 'i dont give a crap how long it takes, but i will do this, bugger the rest of them'. and i would concentrate on that.

are they thingas you do when the mood takes you/ like writing or cleaning? perhaps hold on and wait fro the moment when you go into that mad cleaning/packing/knittiing phase, and ride it out.

just remember it's not your fault you feel the way you do. blame your brain and punish it by watching something like neighbors on tv.

sorry, my brain has exploded from overwork and trying to come up with inane check out chatter.

***

i wish i didn't feel the need to bs to the customers at work. sometimes i open my mouth and i find myself telling some old bird about my twin sons. or the wild weekend i had. i feel awful afterwards. i wish i etiher did not feel awful about making stuff up to talk to the customers about, or i just diddnt do it in the first place.


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Post by Licentia Poetica » Wed Feb 07, 2007 9:13 am

Sometimes I make things up too. Particularly to people who wouldn't really know the difference, and probably don't care anyway. I think that's okay, and you shouldn't feel too badly about it. Maybe it's just a bit of wondering or hopeing on your part that your life was like that and how others would react to it. Next time something really cool happens in your life, make sure you tell someone all about it. Reality can sometimes be just as interesting.

*

I wish I would given a second chance at living. I feel like that's what it's going to take.
:redstar: the time to tell a person you care is now :redstar: the paper crane chain of hope :redstar:

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Post by StevieLynn » Fri Feb 09, 2007 8:29 am

Hm. Can you give yourself a second chance? We can often be our own worst critic. If you think about it, we give others second (and third, and fourth) chances all the time. "Sure, go ahead, try that again." We get second chances at love, at friendships, at silly little tasks. Which is, if you think about it, all part of life. So maybe, instead of looking at it as needing a second chance at life, try to find the second (and third... etc) chances you can take at things that come up in life.

Gee... perhaps I should take my own advice.
-------

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Post by Scatterbrain » Sun Feb 11, 2007 9:41 am

Seeing as I am struggling with that too, I will try to furnish some advice for you, but no guarantees... Are there just little things you can do that can help you feel more in control. This might just be my OCD, but after I unload the dishwasher, wash the apples, or just do a simple task that I have complete control over, I sometimes feel a little better about things in my life... I dunno. For the emotional aspect. Are you on meds for mood swings or anything? Are you seeing a T or anyone? If not, you could look into seeing someone or meds... Sorry I'm not very helpful...

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